Comming out about pole dance fitness

 
Autumn Sky Paid Member

So, I normally only comment on discussions, never have started one, but there has be something that has been bothering me and I don't know what to do. I have been pole dancing for a year, it has become my passion and my life, it is who I am. I enjoy it so much and want to share what I am doing with others, but I forget the prejudices still associated with the sport. I am torn between being who I am and respecting the views of others. For me, it is church related. My life revolves around my Love of the Lord and my passion for the pole. I am either at church or something church related or pole dancing or something pole related. I don't make excuses for either, BUT, sometimes I feel like I can't  walk in the freedom to tell everyone what I do and that bothers me. I never wanted to live a life where I felt like I had to have "secrets'. It bothers me and makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. I am trying to find the balance in being who i am and respecting the  opinions and not judging others who do not understand. Given the newness of this sport, I imagine their are others dealing with the same issues. Any suggestions? Do I live in total freedom and just let others deal with it, or do I be respectful and educate as opportunity alows?
Mar 10, 2013
Legs4Days

I am feeling the same way, I teach school and I have to be careful as well. A few of my close friends know that I have started and they want to do it too, but you're right about what some people think, As of rite now, I am not "broadcasting" it but I want to in the future. For now, Im not saying much. I am with you on this one and I  need help with this as well.
Mar 10, 2013
frenchhornprof

Autumn, a lot of people keep their lives compartmentalized for easier maneuvering inside various communities. Just because two of your passions don't intersect doesn't mean that either of them is wrong, or that you need to feel bad. I can imagine you would like to tell your church community about pole because it's so much fun, and you enjoy it. Some church communities would be open to your representation of the sport, others might not be. I myself have wanted to share my enthusiasm for the activity with people I work with (musicians and teachers). Some of them know because I have posted a few photos on Facebook. Usually when I present it to them as a skill that requires a high level of strength and flexibility, they are more accepting. As with anything, people are generally wary of and concerned about things on which they are not educated. Many of my colleagues accept the fact that I pole even if they aren't fans. But many of them are intrigued. 

Perhaps there are a few people in your church community who you think might be open to hearing about how you feel about pole. When I tell people about it, I usually try to find a Youtube video of a professional being incredible. I particularly like the Pole Art ones that feature pole as a creative/athletic art form. Everyone's okay with ballet right? Well, this is just vertical ballet. :)

When people see someone they consider to be an upstanding citizen and good person representing something with which they are not familiar or misinformed they might start to change their opinion. I think we can all be gentle advocates/educators. But we do have to be sensitive to when it will be welcome and when it absolutely won't.
Mar 10, 2013
Crystabel
Hi Autumn, you've asked a good question there. It can be tricky because the thought of pole is of course going to be "exotic dancer" in the minds of people who havent been exposed to pole fitness. You should share with some of your friends and let them know how much you love it. God knows you, He knows your heart. What others think doesn't matter much.
I'm not saying to just shove it in someone's face lol. I just mean that we don't live to please others, even in our church family. If people think badly of you for enjoying pole, then you may want to look elsewhere because those are not people who love you. You are not doing anything bad. But i bet they will surprise you. And even if they think it is odd they will still love you for you.
Mar 10, 2013
CapFeb

[abcnews.go.com]  


Honestly, if I were ever to approach it, I would approach it through that artical. There are Christian groups all over the place who pole for Jesus. Your church could be the next :> 
Mar 11, 2013
Autumn Sky Paid Member

CapFeb, I love that article:) Thank you all for your imput. StudioVeena is such a great community in which you can share what is on your mind and feel safe.
Mar 11, 2013
megan12

Autumn...this is a tricky thing, for sure. Now, I'm not religious but I'm pretty cavalier about my pole dancing passion. For the most part it has been fine. My co-workers love to see my new tricks on facebook and hear about all the things I'm learning. But it did get me in hot water once and caused some family members to tell me how they really felt about it. 

Unfortunately, the "stripper" stigma is attached to poledancing as a whole. Some people can be educated and see the difference but some simply, don't want to. I suppose that's their choice. If they are good Christians, they shouldn't pass judgment on you. But, that doesn't always happen.  So, I guess it's up to you, in the end. 

I'm someone who likes to live my life without regret and stay true to myself, even if that means something that isn't particularly popular within the general public. I just bear in mind that it might get me in "trouble" so to speak or have others think differently of me. But I'm willing to deal with that consequence. 
Mar 11, 2013
Juicy J

Hi Autumn Sky,

Wow...I am so glad I clicked on your thread! I am in the same situation as you as I am also a devout Christian from a young age and was brought up in a Christian family that attends Church every Sunday.
To this day, I still attend weekly Church services as well as any additional Church events and activities that may take place during the week.

A few years ago when I started taking regular pole lessons, I fell deeply in love with the sport and thought it was pretty innocent to put up a picture of me doing a pole sit during one of our pole classes. I was fully clothed, had black leather gloves on and a smile on my face. Nothing provocative about that at all.
I even ran past my younger brother who looked at it and said it was 'fine'.

Little did I know, a few days later, my Youth Pastor approached me at Church and pulled me aside to politely ask me to change my picture because someone at another campus within the Church had made a complaint about me (anonymous of course) and word got to it that it got to the HEAD Youth Pastor of the entire Church and the person who complained wanted the Church to get rid of me as a youth leader!! They had said some pretty slanderous things of me and how they didn't want someone who has any "stripper-like" qualities to be leading the youth. I was a youth leader at the time that led a group of high school girls in Years 10-12 and had been serving in this ministry since 2004.
Nonetheless, it was brought not only to the attention of my Youth Pastor but another 2 x guys that were on staff at the Church that also attended my Church.I felt so humiliated and embarrassed.
I wasn't even sure if my pastor was informed of this incident but I would have assumed they knew about it and would let my youth pastor take care of it.

I was so deflated that night after that talk, and when I saw my best friend's boyfriend and we started chatting over a plate of food, I burst into tears and told him everything that had happened! He was absolutely disgusted that someone had done this to me and that I wasn't free to express who I was and what I loved. I felt so heartbroken that night.

It was an extremely painful lesson I had learned about censorship and the Church and I reluctantly removed that picture that I was once so proud of because it was an accomplishment at the time to climb so high up the pole and comfortably sit there!

Over the years, that wasn't the only time I got a talking to from the leadership of my Church's youth group regarding my poling activities. I had been told to 'tone it down' and not post any material relating to pole.

I tried really hard not to take it to heart and take it personally but it was so extremely difficult. It felt as though a part of me had been 'disapproved' by the very people that I do a part of my life with and am constantly reminded to 'keep it under wraps'. But when you love something so much, the last thing you want is to keep it a secret, right?!
I wanted to be free and shameless about this passion of mine.

I had very few friends who understood the pain I was going through. My boyfriend was one of the very few people who knew how torn up I felt.
I had contemplated coming on Studio Veena and posting my frustrations and hurt over this but I decided against it until now, now that I know there's also someone else in very similar shoes to me.
I didn't want to vent my frustrations over this because I love my Church and the people in it and want to protect it, but aside from that, obviously not ALL of them are against my love for pole-dancing. Some are very intrigued by it but mostly, they either tolerate it or show indifference to it.
I think it just comes down to being a 'taboo' dance and sport. I can almost see that look on their face if I ever talk about it...that they're not interested in listening because somehow by listening, it was making them visualise me in all these awesome aerial positions that were all somehow 'sexual'.
Sadly enough, even when I told a few Church girls that they'd be awesome at pole and should give a regular term a try, they would just brush it off and say that it's too 'taboo' and wouldn't look good on them.

Towards the end of last year, I informed my Youth Pastor that I no longer wanted to lead the group of high school girls that I had been serving in since 2004.
It was a huge change and I've had my life-changing moments leading a group of high schoolers for nearly 10 years but it was really time for me to take a bow and let the next generation run things.

I looked forward to this change because I felt that by no longer leading the youth, I could be a bit more freer in my love for pole and have been a bit more active in 'liking' things on FB that were pole-related and have been shameless enough to tag myself and friends at pole events and comps. I mean why wouldn't you when there are polebrities to spot and awesome things to look at?!


I feel much happier now as well that I don't have to hide things as much as before and funnily enough, last year when I was driving to a pole class, a thought popped into my head about what I would say if one of my own Church girls asked me if I pole.
I thought to myself that it's time to be honest about your passion for pole and WHY I do it!

And guess what?! Ironically, a few short weeks after that random thought, one of my girls asked me quite bluntly in front of the entire group whether or not it's true that I pole dance!!!
And guess what?! I told them all shamelessly that I did and I love it because it's taught me that my body can do a lot more than I give it credit for. Aside from that, it's a hobby that I've found that I think I will stick with for a very long time, if not, for the rest of my life!!
That girl listened and was very respectful. Infact, all of them were quiet and courteous and no one said anything else.

I do think that this is a year in which I can finally 'come out' about my passion for pole and although I think I still have a long way to go before I can publicly post pictures and videos of me poling without some members of my Church kicking up a huge fuss, I do think that it's all about baby steps and having the right discernment.
Baby steps in me gaining confidence and knowing the appropriate times to do so and also gaining enough confidence to be able to respectfully speak to people if they're against me for doing so.

The ironic thing is, just yesterday, a friend of mine on Facebook posted a video of the 3 of us doing Brazilian Samba in our Week 8 Performance Week at one of the pole studios I go to!!! HAHAHAHA. I seriously couldn't be more proud of what I achieved in 8 weeks in learning how to Samba like a Brazilian Showgirl!!
And mind you, the costumes were skimpy too, complete with Brazilian Samba headpieces that our instructor lent us!

I pray that this brings hope to anyone who is in a similar situation and I would also really love to hear from you guys.

I'm always open to meeting more pole girls and guys to be my friend and it's always more special when someone knows exactly where you're coming from.


 
Mar 11, 2013
sparrow

It's honestly REALLY bothersome to me to hear these stories about being so torn and feeling 'forced to choose' or hide what we love due to other's ignorance.

I totally get wanting to keep some things compartmentalized, sometimes that's just easier. But what's NOT easy is feeling shame, guilt, the need to hide...it's just so oppressive,

I 'hid' pole for YEARS. I'm grateful, sooooo so grateful, now, to not hide it anymore. It is so freeing. This isn't to say that I talk about pole at every opportunity and make sure EVERYONE knows I pole, but I am open about what I do when asked. 

If anyone 'judges' me for it, that is their own issue and not mine. They will sure never be on my speed dial, so eh, I'm sure no one who is a true friend or genuinely cares about me would expect me to change for them.

GL, I have been in your position before and it's a tough place to be. Hugs!
Mar 11, 2013
acoretacri

Thank you for posting this thread. Although I am not christian, my boyfriend is a Christian. I am becoming increasingly involved with his church, which we both enjoy. We both find it hard to keep my "secret activity" from friends and his family. It is difficult when people ask about what my hobbies are. We mostly just say something else though pole is definetly my main hobby. I want to share my passion for pole dance but worry about other peoples reactions. 
Mar 11, 2013
sparrow

For years, no one 'in real life' knew that I poled, besides my husband and kids. I hated it being so 'taboo'. What if I'd met just one other woman that poled and was open about it? I would have been so thrilled to know someone else, and I also would have wished that *I* had the guts to be so open about it. What if I did meet other women that poled, but neither of us knew it b/c of course, no one felt they could bring it up!

It bugs me that we feel so oppressed about it. Are we doing anything wrong? Of course not. We're doing everything RIGHT, actually, and it feels wrong to NOT talk about it when the opportunity is there. 
Mar 12, 2013
prettypuff1
I deal with this too. I have very conservative family who feel that pole =stripper in all cases. It was difficult; but I stood strong. I had to stand for what I wanted. During a family trip to florida I got grief for traveling to a studio to train. The studio was awesome and I'm glad I went but I still got flack.

It's hard because we want people to accept the things we like. Pole is in my blood I love it. And for me it's a big factor for why I can't ever move back in with my parents. We just have to know there is a wonderful community Of women who share out love of pole.

That keeps me going :)
Mar 12, 2013
DharmaDancer
I really feel for you ladies with these horrible stories. It makes me realize how lucky I am. I generally have very permeable boundaries and tend to share pretty personal things with my coworkers, but both of my jobs employ pretty outrageous types (ambulance and massage therapy) and no one ever blinks at what anyone else says or does. Occasionally I strip too...I started pole because though I've been in clubs over the years that had them
Mar 12, 2013
DharmaDancer
I really feel for you ladies with these horrible stories. It makes me realize how lucky I am. I generally have very permeable boundaries and tend to share pretty personal things with my coworkers, but both of my jobs employ pretty outrageous types (ambulance and massage therapy) and no one ever blinks at what anyone else says or does. Occasionally I strip too...I started pole because though I've been in clubs over the years that had them, I rarely saw girls use them. In my current club there are some jaw-dropping polers who blew my mind and inspired me. So in my "straight" jobs I tell everyone all about it and everyone jokes around and it's good. My point is that being open hearted and confident brings situations and people to your life that accept your uniqueness and expression. To hide oneself to accommodate the prejudices of others probably invites on some level the situations and people who are ready to be judgmental. Best of luck to all the coming-out polers. You're awesome!
Mar 12, 2013
Anonyma

to juicy J : Do you think all people in your church are all little angels? Do you think all men or guys in this church don't masturbate to porno (who knows what they watch: goldshowers, people shitting on each other ass to mouth.... )  do you think the ladies in the church dont masturbate and own big dildos and toys  as well? I don t think so 

Be yourself and embrace who you are no matter what, this was probably a jaleous WOMEN, YES , do you think a guy would have complain "HELL" no... 

only one life to live, girls who pole are certainly causing reactions in their entourage mostly on JALOUS WOMANS!! So let them be and enjoy the power the pole gives you 
Mar 12, 2013
prettypuff1
I know quite a few people at my church who are interested in pole fitness. At the end of the day, there is no passage in the bible that says this is a no.
Mar 12, 2013
Maureen marleygirl
EDUCATE! ! Maybe show the Starfish teaser spoken about in an earlier blog. Who couldn't admire and respect the raw athleticism and elegance! what we do is still a stigma but only because because of ignorance
Mar 12, 2013
ImonlyMe
Although many people judge it is because they have no direction as to the good of pole dancing b/c the pole had already had negativity from the past people cant get over that and acknowledged that it is a well being good cause of fitness.And I am a women of many jobs so Autumn I understand but I am very up front about what I do an so we get that out. Of the way very quickly im in the light of church children mentoring and several different dance backgrounds so I always let people know each one of my jobs and hobbys are separate unless states other wise....
Mar 13, 2013
ImonlyMe
And juicy j dont get me wrong I love church surrounding but thats why the churches are so broken now worried about the wrong things of other people and not criticising there own pep in the church are not perfect hun everyone
lives a life. ...
Mar 13, 2013
ImonlyMe
And juicy j dont get me wrong I love church surrounding but thats why the churches are so broken now worried about the wrong things of other people and not criticising there own pep in the church are not perfect hun everyone
lives a life. ...
Mar 13, 2013
maurer rose Previous Paid Member

Hey! I am a Christian too, and I am touched by the others who have posted on here.

So far I've been on the fence about sharing. I know there are some people who will accept it and some who won't (both in and outside of religious communities), but it's hard to guess in advance. You can't go back to undo damage that's been done once you let the cat out of the bag! I'm still trying to work up the nerve to ask another twenty-something at church why she has "Pole!" in word magnets on the side of her fridge!

I don't think my church family would be more judgmental than anyone else. I've already experienced negative comments by non-Christians and Christians alike. The stigma is so widespread.

I don't feel like I'm being deceptive by not sharing this part of my life with others, including my church family. It's just easier not to offend people by keeping it under wraps. But sometimes I do feel sad because I wish I could share the joy of the confidence, strength and flexibility I have gained through my hard work at pole over the past few years. I want to further the awareness of pole as an athletic art that combines elements of aerial dance, gymnastics, contortion and even ballet. (Don't get me wrong, I like the exotic dance elements too. But I'm very firm on the point that pole can be practiced as a sport.)
Mar 15, 2013
monica kay

i am about to come out of the pole closet!  maybe next week :) but not to my family... just my friends.  
Mar 16, 2013
FlyingFireBird

Let us know how your comming out goes. A bit of advice, if you have a smart phone, keep a video of one of your favorite, least provocative performaces bookmarked on your phone. My favorite is Natasha Wang's on the View because people are more likely to believe it is innocent if it is on the view. If you have it on hand you can show people that pole dance is different than stripping (not that there is necessarily anything wrong with stripping).

Good luck!
Mar 17, 2013
ljsch59790
I hate the negativity and 'sluttiness' that people associate with pole. It really does hurt when it's about something youre so passionate about and want to tell the world about. All polers know where you are coming from and can definitely relate!
Mar 18, 2013
chemgoddess1 Paid Member

Here are a few threads that may be worthwhile reading:

[www.studioveena.com]

[www.studioveena.com]

[www.studioveena.com]

 

It comes down to understanding that you cannot talk about all aspects of your life in all situations.  It is not a matter of you being you, it is a matter of people don't need to know.  There are numerous parts of my life that I do not broadcast here or on FB.  And I certainly do not broadcast at work about my life outside of work.....I learned that lesson a long time ago.

 
Mar 18, 2013
pegasusaerialfitness

I think its normal to have different aspects of life you might keep more private. You could call it Aerial Fitness if you want to be discreet. 
Mar 18, 2013
FlyingFireBird

I agree ChemGoddess with the idea of not broadcasting, but there is a difference between not broadcasting and hiding pole fitness. I don't go out of my way to talk about pole fitness with certain members of my family, but if it comes up or came up I would (If they asked me where I got a bruise from, I wouldn't lie about it - I would explain my sport). I feel like this is the "not broadcasting part." At work I hide pole fitness from my co-workers. If I'm asked about a bruise - I lie (my coworkers think I do Aerial Silks/Trapeeze and Kickboxing) or, more often, if I have a bruise I do my best to hide it. The lines between broadcasting and hiding can be blurred, but coming out can a form of simply not hiding it.
Mar 18, 2013
littlelindsay

I refuse to act ashamed about something I love. I think I am lucky that I live in a city where pole is so popular though, and pretty much everyone I know knows someone else who does it.

I work at a gymnastics club though, so everyone there loves it too.

I'm sorry to everyone who has had negative experiences, I can't really relate but I feel bad that you've had to deal with close minded people. Keep your head up!! Things will get easier as it becomes more mainstream.
Mar 18, 2013
Mechie

I recently changed job and my current boss is a conservative, judgmental,  racist old hag.  If she or any of my coworkers find out that I pole on the side, I might put my job on the line.

 

I'm also getting married in a few months, my fiance and I have a wed-site going on...I originally was going to post some of my pole pics on the website, because it's part of me...however, now I have to think twice.  (I wear sports bra and bad kitty shorts in all of those pictures...)

 

I feel really sad that I have to hide it because with my  previous boss, he thinks it is cool that I can hold my own body weight while I'm inverted...And he also know I'm very professional when it comes to my job so that was never an issue...but now. =(

 

Yeah, I agree with Chemmie that part of us don't need to be broadcasted...but I'm at the point where I need to lie on my whereabouts and makeup stories pretty frequently. (My current boss is VERY nosy and constantly checking on me...yes, even on personal things....)

 

The FUNNY part?? I'd been doing Bible study with Jehovah Witnesses for over a year...and they said there's nothing wrong with pole fitness, especially when I'm doing it in a studio and the comfort of my own home.  (Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against strippers, people have free-will to do whatever they want and it is not up to me to judge...) 
Mar 20, 2013
portableninja

I'm out to some people, but not others. Generally, anyone under 30 knows that I pole, and most of them think it's cool. It's the older generation I'm more coy about.

I belong to a few different maligned subcultures, the pole community being one of them. All of my interests are the sorts of things that you don't generally discuss with grandma or the boss, even if there's absolutely nothing harmful or bad about any of them. It's easier just to keep the conversation about the weather and what cookies I'm baking and not bring up the pole trick I'm working on or the unusual show I went to or how I'm spending my time on the weekends. I don't want to deal with the questions, or have my hobbies be the only thing anyone ever talks about when they think of me. I don't want to be judged solely on being the "freak" in the family instead of just being a person with interests that skew outside of the norm.

Most people already know I do yoga, so if I attend a pole workshop, I just say it's a yoga workshop. Sometimes I feel like I'm living a lie. The only person who knows everything about me, and truly accepts me on every level, is my husband. The pressures of having to keep pole under wraps, and make up excuses about what I'm doing with my time, is draining. I'm tempted to just have a "coming out" day. I'm waiting until I have a really impressive trick under my belt so I can post a photo of it on Facebook. Like... "surprise!"
Mar 20, 2013
prettypuff1

 I have already said Surprise on Fb. I have kind of accpeted that all of things that make up who am  are not for everyone.. It's a shame I can't set up the pole when i visit my mom's house, but I know thats who she is( very conservative).
Mar 20, 2013
portableninja

Yup. I'm a happily married, well-behaved professional who got straight As, eats her vegetables, says no to drugs and has never even gotten a speeding ticket. I'm also a bisexual Star Trek-loving pole dance enthusiast and pro wrestling fan. Guess which parts I typically keep under wraps in public, LOL.
Mar 20, 2013
JoleneBell Paid Member

I also struggle with whom to tell about my newfound passion. And I do mean passion. I'm scrambling to figure out how to purchase a pole (they're so expensive!) because I can't stand not being able to pole when I get up in the morning!

I've told a few people, but not many. I'm a very open person and when I'm excited about something, I want to share it with everyone. Unfortunately, most of whom I've shared it with assume automatically that I'm doing it for sexual reasons for my husband and I. Sure, that will play a part eventually, but I'm really just doing it for me, because it's a blast, a great way to get in shape, and I want to perfect it! I even told my hairdresser, who's a very cool laid back lady, and she was like "Wow, you're telling me this?" As though I was sharing with her some kinky sex fetish! It's hard to not deflate when someone has no clue what it's really about. And then, when you try to educate them on the fitness aspect, it sounds as though you're defending yourself. I share portableninja's idea. I've decided to not really "come out" about it until I can remotely kick ass at it. I know for a fact that at that point, I won't care as much.
Mar 20, 2013
anneliesa

I don't have a big problem when it comes to telling people about pole, but there's always the little worry every time I tell someone new that they'll get the wrong idea. I'm not religious and I'm at uni so doing pole isn't overly shocking, especially as there is a pole fitness society at uni. When I tell people I always stress the fitness element of it.

My family know that I pole, but I think they believe it's just some silly hobby of mine. My dad lives abroad, and my mum has been very ill for a long time, so they've not seen me pole in person. Pole means so much to me, I'm proud of what I've achieved. I really want to show my family so they can be proud too, but I feel awkward about it. I did show my dad and his wife a picture of me in recliner when I first started, and my dad didn't seem to want to look. It hurts to think that he might be ashamed of the fact I do pole because he doesn't understand.

My boyfriend hasn't told his family either because they're quite conservative and would take it the wrong way. That makes me sad too, because if I were a gymnast or another kind of dancer, he'd tell them and they'd be interested in seeing and hearing about what I can do. Maybe it doesn't matter, but I want to include people I care about in this big part of who I am.
Mar 20, 2013
JoleneBell Paid Member

Oh! And I forgot to say that I'm a Christian too! My family and I are very involved in church, I'm on the prayer team, my husband and I lead small groups, etc. But fortunately the circle of people I do know so far from this church are non-legalistic. I guess I'll find out true colors once I "come out," so to speak.

I share Olivia's opinion that some women are jealous of women who are confident and capable of something they are not. Keep that in mind.
Mar 20, 2013
portableninja

Jolene, I hear you on the sexual fetish thing. I'm actually a very sex positive person - I am always advocating healthy expression, and I would've made a great employee at Babeland or some other high end adult shop. But that's not what pole is about for me. A lot of times the first thing people say is "oh, I'm sure your husband must LOVE that!" Of course he does... he loves to see me happy about something, and we're both interested in fitness. We talk about the body mechanics and muscle groups used in pole all the time. Sure, he doesn't mind watching me contort my half naked body into crazy positions, but unless I'm specifically putting on a show for him, he'd rather be downstairs playing video games instead of watching me grunting and occasionally getting stuck.

The way some people react, it's like I just told them about my sex toy collection. (Jeez people, I know enough not to talk about those!)
Mar 20, 2013
FlyingFireBird

I find it so funny how people automatically connect pole to bedroom play. People often respond with how lucky my husband is that I pole. Pole is a little more like this in our relationship - 

[pole-dancing-adventures.blogspot.com]

(love this blog btw).
Mar 20, 2013
ashweewee

 absolutely love and agree with ur post flyingfirebird soo true lol, and I recently decided u know what,,I'm gonna tell my mom and older sister, my mom thought it was awesome to my surprise my sister was the more hesitant about it lol. Now I feel great know it's something I can be proud to share. People have such a misconception like my sister did but after I showed her some stuff she respects my hulkness I've come to aquire hah
Mar 20, 2013
PixiLouBell
i came out right away! even in my small town where pole fitness is not heard of. my mom says i belong in the circus and my dad doesnt judge, never has. its all over my facebook and if people dont like it, they can delete me! i try to educate tho and really show the health benefits of pole. the whole church crowd cud be a little more difficult, good luck with it!!
Mar 20, 2013
Angie La
I was amazed by the people who were cool with it and the ones who weren't. Most people just aren't educated about pole dance as a sport, as an art, as a way to get fit, or even just get your sexy back. It is the most versatile activity on the planet! I tell everyone it is like vertical acrobatics, or gymnastics for adults even. It is so empowering for an adult to finally be able to have goals like do a handstand or pull-ups and then to be able to do spins, and omg, go upside down! Moms especially say very often that when they were young this or that...but we can do it now, but we just had not maybe had the opportunity. This is what I tell people when they are curious about what I do. I have opened a studio in the Bible Belt and the response has been amazing :) pole dance has changed my life in so many ways...you never know who else will need it in their life so I think it is important for us to share the experience, really. Good luck!
Mar 21, 2013
Trixie Kicks
I don't see it as something that you have to "come out" about. My husband knew when I started, obviously. But when I mentioned it to my parents, siblings, coworkers it was just as casual as if I was talking about running. I'm almost 30. Like it or whatever.
Mar 24, 2013
ChevaleresseMommy Paid Member
This is one of those subjects that is hard to cover because there are so many opinions and not all will agree. Especially when religious beliefs come into play. My fiancee and my family are good examples.

My fiancee is Catholic and I am Christian ( I dont go on a regular basis but that has to do with our personal feelings) but all that aside. When his family found out they flipped. Thought I was horrible and a stripper!! It put us through hell and we still deal with it from time to time. My family does not know yet, but will soon because Im tired of hiding it. In all of this I learned that poling is my passion. One of the ways I can truly express myself and it relaxes me. And stopping or not letting people know hinders you from living your dream. Life is to short to be ashamed of something you love. I feel that if I want to let others know of this I know my facts and I fight to make sure they know the real truth about it. His family made me feel ashamed and said because I poled I didnt worship god. It just shows you how much people try to push their beliefs and feelings on others. And feel its ok to pass judgment and it is NOT!!!! No one should have the right to judge me but The Lord when my time is up.

The Bible has lots of Psalms about dancing for example:

Psalm 149:3  Let them praise his name with dancing, making melody to him with tambourine and lyre

Jeremiah 31:13  Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old shall be merry. I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

The way I look at it is, The Bible talks about dancing to rejoice and praise the lord, however no where does it say what type of dancing. So if you think about it your are doing nothing wrong(which is why the group that poles for God isnt either) They suffer people saying stuff about them and judging them, but they still go to service and love God. What does that show of their fellow church community that are saying they are sinners?

Most importantly its about how u feel truly. We can give you our opinions but its ultimately up to you. Poling doesnt make you a bad person or a sinner. I wouldnt hide it because its a new age and we have to learn to be accepting of all the new things coming at us.  I also love it too much to care what anyone thinks about it. I have lived to long listening to others and for fear of ruining my reputation. I missed out on alot of neat experiences bc I chose to listen to others(just to make everyone happy) and not my heart. Whether you hide poling or not everyone will form their own opinion. Living life by others opinions doesnt allow you to truly live. Life is short and need to live it to fullest no matter how much someone tells you your wrong.

To juicy J your personal life should not affect you leading youths. What you do on your own time is your buisness. In a way that is discrimination and they shouldnt have done that to u. Im sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

I apologize if I offended anyone in anyway. Wasnt my intent.

 

 
Apr 3, 2013
ChevaleresseMommy Paid Member
This is one of those subjects that is hard to cover because there are so many opinions and not all will agree. Especially when religious beliefs come into play. My fiancee and my family are good examples.

My fiancee is Catholic and I am Christian ( I dont go on a regular basis but that has to do with our personal feelings) but all that aside. When his family found out they flipped. Thought I was horrible and a stripper!! It put us through hell and we still deal with it from time to time. My family does not know yet, but will soon because Im tired of hiding it. In all of this I learned that poling is my passion. One of the ways I can truly express myself and it relaxes me. And stopping or not letting people know hinders you from living your dream. Life is to short to be ashamed of something you love. I feel that if I want to let others know of this I know my facts and I fight to make sure they know the real truth about it. His family made me feel ashamed and said because I poled I didnt worship god. It just shows you how much people try to push their beliefs and feelings on others. And feel its ok to pass judgment and it is NOT!!!! No one should have the right to judge me but The Lord when my time is up.

The Bible has lots of Psalms about dancing for example:

Psalm 149:3  Let them praise his name with dancing, making melody to him with tambourine and lyre

Jeremiah 31:13  Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old shall be merry. I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

The way I look at it is, The Bible talks about dancing to rejoice and praise the lord, however no where does it say what type of dancing. So if you think about it your are doing nothing wrong(which is why the group that poles for God isnt either) They suffer people saying stuff about them and judging them, but they still go to service and love God. What does that show of their fellow church community that are saying they are sinners?

Most importantly its about how u feel truly. We can give you our opinions but its ultimately up to you. Poling doesnt make you a bad person or a sinner. I wouldnt hide it because its a new age and we have to learn to be accepting of all the new things coming at us.  I also love it too much to care what anyone thinks about it. I have lived to long listening to others and for fear of ruining my reputation. I missed out on alot of neat experiences bc I chose to listen to others(just to make everyone happy) and not my heart. Whether you hide poling or not everyone will form their own opinion. Living life by others opinions doesnt allow you to truly live. Life is short and need to live it to fullest no matter how much someone tells you your wrong.

To juicy J your personal life should not affect you leading youths. What you do on your own time is your buisness. In a way that is discrimination and they shouldnt have done that to u. Im sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

I apologize if I offended anyone in anyway. Wasnt my intent.

 

 
Apr 3, 2013
untamedshrew
The only way to end, or at least reduce, the stigma attached to a "taboo" subject is to come out. The more people speak out, the easier it is for more people to speak out. I work in a field that often deals with topics considered "shameful" by society at large: LGBTQ, suicide, sexual abuse, etc. Silence perpetuates the fear, misunderstanding, hypocricy and judgment. Coming out educates people, they can hoepfully get to a point where they say "she SEEMS like such a nice person, perhaps you CAN be a __________ and still be ok". On that note, I am a proud tree hugging, critical thinking, pole dancing woman!!
Apr 4, 2013
Legs4Days
My fellow teacher friends and I were having lunch a couple of weeks ago, One of them was saying how prim and proper that she thought another teacher and I were. One of them joked and said "Yeah I bet gail can cut loose when she wants to!". I said "funny u shud say that..as a matter of fact I can. Ive started pole fitness". Three of them said "realllly? Can u flip and stuff??" Another said "Oh...u mean pole DANCING?" I told her that was a part of it, but I m mainly into polefit rite now any way. Another said "I heard u can get them for your own home". I said "yes, u can. I have one". That was the end of it. The rest of them started talking about things they want to do or have done. I admit, I had to wait for the rite time but Im glad I said something. :)
Apr 4, 2013
Juicy J
JNBKillen,

Thank you for sharing your opinions. I didn't take any offence to what you posted and I am glad you showed some empathy as to what I went through.

The funny thing is, I've stopped leading youth as of beginning of this year and this year I have really started to come out and be more bold about my poling passion. I have posted more stuff about this on my Facebook account and also not afraid to talk to my Church friends about it IF they should mention it to me and ask me about it.
I haven't had any negative feedback so far and I'm wondering because:

1. People are becoming more accepting of this over the course of less than a year.

2. People are more tolerant of me doing this because I am no longer in a leadership position in the Church

3. People have decided to mind their own business and not say anything about it to me anymore.

For me, the next step would be to put up some photos of me doing some cool pole tricks simply because I feel that it is a personal achievement and empowering! I have already seen improvements in a few different tricks I've been working on and would love to show the world!
 
Apr 8, 2013
race911
since i started poling i was very afriad to say anything to anyone.slowly i started to tell people and the positive response was surprising! i really thought they would jump right to the stripper stereotype and they really didnt. i guess im lucky to have such a supportive husband,family and friends. the more pole became part of my daily life the more empowered i felt and last night i made the big come out on facebook with a beginner vid! i figure pole is now apart of me and who i am and if someones offended by it they dont have to look :) the response was awesome...only a few stripper jokes were made in good spirits,and my husband is very proud. and im proud to finally have the confidence to show a sport im really in love with. all in all id say it was a succeess!
May 11, 2013
Legs4Days
I have begun to show some of my co-workers my "power moves" that we do in class, mainly climbing. They are all "in awe" and most want to know where the studio is lol. I still wont post on facebook tho. Too many parents  of kids from my school would see it.
May 11, 2013
Pole gal
ive never been in the "pole closet"  i was very open about startin pole classes and 2 be honest i really couldnt give a crap what anyone though about it as i was doin it for myself and not to please others   if any1 had a problem with it then as far as i was concerned that was their problem not mine. i think we should forget what any1 else thinks, we are poling for ourself's not for others, and if they cant accept out passion for pole thne i say screw them. xxx
May 13, 2013
Sassypants
I just came out of the pole closet today on facebook to everyone and the response was nothing but positive  gives me the warm fuzzies. I really stressed the importance poling has on making me a healthy person in body and mind, I think that helped. 
May 13, 2013
Zsuzsanna
I was proud to tell everyone I started pole dance, but got the same reaction most of the times

1. Are you going to be a stripper? (Sure just like that...)

2. Did you fall down already? lots of video on the internet peoples are falling. (WoW)

3. .................................. (nothing, like they are ashamed to even talk about it)

I was so upset first, I never imagined people are going to react this way, but I can't change anyone mindset so I just keep on doing pole and they can deal with it however they want.
May 20, 2013
monica kay
i am halfway out :)
Jun 3, 2013
 
A Christina
Admittedly, I was hesitant to try this website at first because I questioned whether it could offer anything close to in studio pole instruction...but it is simply amazing. I cannot say enough good things about this website, these lessons, etc. <3
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