i don't understand why
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eva x ·
example... i post something comment good, i think you are doing good , next time try to make this like that to colour your hair blue (eheheh JK) or .. me neither, i can't do that i prefere another type of music not you suck, you are not good (OH MY GOD like to talk to a good friend) this is my last post, i don't believe i'm explaining myself like that good night ladies, from us from europa from australia,wherever! take it easy :) was a pleasure
I think I know what she means. It's like those poor people you see on American Idol that clearly can't sing or may need more coaching but their family and friends couldn't find it themselves to be honest and tell them that lol. So instead they praise and support them in fear of hurting their feelings and then they end up hearing the truth from the judges. I think it's a cultural thing. My brothers and I were born in America but my family roots are in the Islands. They say the same thing that eva and lily billy say. It's almost like they think americans are too nice and that its fake or laying it on too thick instead of being honest with that person and giving them feedback that can help them progress.........but at the end of the day, what one person sees when watching a video may not be what someone else sees......so its all about personal perception
Oh and constructive criticism does exist on SV. I've seen several comments that went something like........"Great job, just remember to point your toes" or something to that nature:-)
Anonyma ·
i like the fact that studio veena is positive, I have to admit i am a negative and critical person , so when im on here I try to tone down my attitude and be nice with everyone
Ok I haven't read all the posts in this thread so I'm sure I wil repeat what has already been said but I can't resist having my 10pence worth. Every one of us has different thoughts, opinions and norms. What one person thinks is good another thinks is bad, what one thinks is sexy another thinks it isn't. If we all liked the same it would be a boring world. There are many popular pole dancers that are raved about that I personally don't enjoy watching. I don't like to watch overtly sexy performances, I would rather watch gymnastic style performances by that is my preference. So what I'm trying to get to is, one persons compliment is another persons complaint. Plus, what an individual perceived to be good is often based upon their own level of ability. So, when I first started poling I watched tarakarinas videos on YouTube and thought WOW ill never be THAT good, one year on I can do the moves that I previously thought were out of my reach. In the same breath I might look at a beginners videos and think that it doesn't look great overall but it is an achievement for that person so they should be congratulated for that achievement regardless of my personal opinion on x, y or z. At the end of the day we all blossom from praise and ancouragement so why not give it. I personally don't comment on anything that doesn't tick my box so to speak. And I can say from posting videos on here that other Veeners do the same. I have posted videos that many people have watched but no one has liked or commented on, and THAT alone is enough to make you wonder about how you can improve it without someone offering up their own criticism that I might not have asked for or in some cases ready know! If you have a 'like' or a positive comment the. I believe you have ticked someone's box and they either approve or are in admiration- either way its a compliment and its nice :-)
I think because of the language barrier when Eva read the posts with the word critique she may have taken that word to mean something negative and got frustrated thinking no one could see the difference between criticism (which she may have thought has a negative connotation) and advice which she was suggesting should be given to those putting up videos. I definitely get where everyone else is comming from and feel that unless someone specifically asks for advice and pointers that it is not necessary to say anything if it is not supportive. I personally am someone who does have my friends give me a no holds barred opinion on my poling which can be pretty harsh however it makes me push myself further but I think people like Eva might consider that sometimes advice even in the kindest form is not what everyone is looking for. I liked Veena's point of using the video forum just for the sake of sharing something. It's great to celebrate your progress with people who can appreciate that sense of accomplishment for that first awkward invert we've all done or will do where you are kicking with all of your might with your legs all flailing and crooked at the knees because you are driven like a maniac to get up that damned pole if it's the last freaking thing you ever do. It doesn't really matter that you should've pointed your toes.
Oops that last line wasn't for u Wild lotus. I have a bad habit of skimming a thread and then posting before reading it more thouroughly.
eva x ·
i've sent 4 friend request for some girl that wrote in this chat ..2 denied and 2 maybe are thinking wooow, so serious? girls i really don't get this
eva x ·
ok now i know, my mistake was in the first post... the word hypocrites maybe too strong.
rita ch ·
Hi! Eva x, thanks for bringing-up this topic. It's been something on my mind for a while because I've recently had a similar conversation in one of Russian online pole communities with a person who seemed to be unsatisfied with "excessive praising" there, which she also called "hypocrisy". I've been thinking about it and that's why I like the way studioveena is going: - Cultural differences. Obvious for those learning foreign languages and very important to understand and take into account for intercultural communicaton. - Culture of virtual communication. Any word written in the discussion on the Internet (social network, chat) can be misinterpreted by others. We are all different and some people like to overuse negative comments for their personal pleasure. While sometimes it takes additional efforts to understand each other adequately even in native languages. - If I really need advice to improve my skills and want to progress as fast as possible, I'd rather turn directly to a person whom I consider to be a professional in the relevant field.
I think that this site NEEDS to be as supportive as it is.. First of, because its one of the few places on the internet where you dont have to sit with anxiety when posting something. There'll be no one saying; that looks awfull etc. And second, pole is very challenging! It can make you feel impowered but also make you feel like you cant do anything. Im sure we have all been there. A move we just cant get, or a practise where everything just went wrog and you couldnt do a single spin. THATS when we need SV. I once posted a status, where I was soo sad and was ready to give up. I had even already asked my bf to take the pole down, when he got home. It was all the wonderfull ladies on SV that kept me from giving up. This is a very different community than what people are used too. Im not a great poledancer and I know that. They only place I post anything about pole, is here. Not because Im ashamed og poledancing itself. But Im not pleased with my skills. However, uploading anything here, is something I always look forward too. These ladies, makes me feel sexy on the pole. We need someone to tell us we look sexy, because its such a personal thing. And I LOVE the fact that I have to asked for critique, before I get it. Because you know what? Sometimes I just dont need to hear about all the little kinks. I already know. Then when Im really struggling with a move, I can just asked for help. And I'll get it, in the most supportive way. Thats a beautifull and rare thing that we should all cherish. If someone wrote a coment like "hmm that was ok" - I would get a little sad. Honestly.. Not because Im a soft person, im not. But because im not confident in poledancing yet. As I know alot of women arent. This site helps us to get there. A while ago, I posted a video with my spins and someone wrote that they had actually looked at my video and used it to get better at spins. That made me feel sooo happy and confident. I honestly feel that I got my spins down. Because of that comment! So ladies, dont ever changes.. I love you all ❤️
eva x ·
ok, i see that the word SEXY for you girls means a lot; for me is not so important, and i can see that you need encouragement from everybody. yes, is a cultural thing
eva x ·
ok, i see that the word SEXY for you girls means a lot; for me is not so important, and i can see that you need encouragement from everybody. yes, is a cultural thing
rita ch ·
@ eva x in my opinion, this community seems to be one of the most open on the Internet. look, Veena and other Veeners have already suggested an option for you if you want to choose to try it here) just an appropriate request expressing your intentions under uploaded video. As simple as that. usually nothing works better than a personal example. there are so many members here, i'm sure there are people among them who share your views.
eva x ·
hi rita, do you received my friend r?
rita ch ·
@ eva x no, I haven't. i've just checked it once again and I don't see a notification where pending friend request should be... I can send you a requst to check how it works. Done. Got it?
So the moral of the story: Veeners prefer positive friendly feedback Only give advice when asked When giving tips or advice be considerate of how the person receiving may feel Everyone's idea of sexy is different When an SV member shows support or gives compliments they mean it Most SV members prefer to focus on the positive points of someone's video Cultural differences, language barriers, whatever, friendliness and respect is universal. xoxo
As for friend requests, I honestly do not ever check those and I do not have SV set up for notifications so do not take it personally if someone does not respond to your request. I popped into that area a few months back and realized I had requests that had been there since January.
eva x, you remind me of someone who grew up in Soviet Russia and went into a sport where all you heard was NO...do THIS! There was a great discussion a bit ago about teaching styles and what you respond to in a class. I personally cannot stand teachers that tell me "pretty" or "that was so beautiful" when I know for a fact I flubbed something. In return I am not the type of person who says things like that unless I truly mean them.
Paunobs ·
I personally like to compliment as many videos as i can first because it is genuine, secondly i too started where everyone else has at the begining, I know the feeling of achievement if i could only do a fireman spin and hold it for 3 seconds, or the first layback that took all my effort to just pull up and out of, along with all the rest ..i would never critisize anyone for something that may or may not be correct, sure i love to get feedback and helpful tips but im sure as heck would not like someone to say No no you are all wrong! those kinds of comments do not help a person get confidence or self esteem, as most others have said this is a supportive community and we all value that here, we feel safe to post videos of our progress and our almost nude bodies with which many have issues with, without worrying what others will say.
eva x ·
so sorry thant you can't understan what i mean, but i can't keep going to explain it it's so hard? i made exemple; if you like to comment please go read that post please but don't reply something totally different thank you
This is pretty interesting coming from someone who posted: "i really don't understand why you can't accept a simple advice, or just accept a different opinion," It seems like you can't either.
Agreed cherished.. I've read the first post a couple of times and I can only understand that we dont speak the truth. Im utterly against that. Lets say Im commenting on someone first plank, or polesit, Im not comparing her to someone like Felix Cane. Im praising her for getting a new move. As for the only commenting, people with photos videos.. Thats because we dont know what to say if there is no information.. For a long time I didnt have pictures or videos, and I didnt know anyone here. You need to give something, in order to recieve something back. I dont know what to say about your skills, if I cant see them.. But I promise, if you post something Eva, I'll be supportive all he way.. No pointing ou flaws, because thats just not the way it works for me.
eva x ·
girls oh my god, you are keeping telling me something that is totally different i posted a comment, an exemple : maybe i can't explain good what i think, cause i don't speak english.. i don't like to criticize but i don't understand people than keep to tell you that you are sexy and really good, when it's not true i mean you can tell her ..ok you are ok ,but not to compliment too much, but yes to give little advice! i'm not talking about tell her, you can't dance or something like that and i watched so many video, i was like surprised by the comments but i'm not the type of person that like to break the balls (sorry) just wanted to know .. and believe me, if i'll post my videos i 'llwant to know what you REALLY think, not that i'n sexy when i don't etc.. i just want to improve my movements and keep in touch with who can help me :) THIS IS THE 3 TIME that i post that; i wrote that maybe the word HYpcrite was too strong, ok but that was my example , i keep to explain cause i don't accept nobody ageed or understand, it's impossible!!! i accept all the opinion dear Cherished, but just from someone who really understand what i want to say. Creativity By S: Lets say Im commenting on someone first plank, or polesit, Im not comparing her to someone like Felix Cane. Im praising her for getting a new move. i talked about say something like that?? please.
I understand what you are saying Eva.. I stand by my reply.. Just because you dont think someone is sexy, doesnt mean others dont. You have no idea weather or not they mean it.
