eva x started this discussion ·
why you have to always only compliments to all the girls that put videos? my impression is that no one has the courage to say what he really thinks, girls asks for advice and the answer 'always the same .. good six improved, sexy .. no one has the courage to expose themselves, let us help instead of being hypocrites sorry for my english :)
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Generally, this is considered to be a "supportive" community, and the best way we can do that is by encouraging each other. We post comments about what we liked, which is usually the overall feel, or a particular move that the person did in their video. On the topic of critisism, unfortunately not a lot of people are able to accept it from strangers, and not many are able to give critisism constructively. It takes a special kind of discussion that both people are open to in order to work through the idea of improving something as personal as a dance or other artform. Generally, advice is given in private around here- someone asks someone else to help them work on a particular move, or on achieving a feeling, on what to do with something. Occasionally we will ask for advice on the forums, such as myself- I have asked about what to do with my free hand, as well as for help with certain moves. Just because we don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. When I start posting videos (I say that often, and haven't yet done it, but it's certainly one of my many goals), I would like to have advice from people... but it will likely be very carefully-asked-for advice, rather than just a bunch of people telling me what they thing, all willy-nilly.
I love that Studio Veena is such a supportive community. ❤️ We are all friends here and though it might look like a mutual adoration club sometimes I like it this way. We all need a little encouragement sometimes to keep us motivated in what we do. 🌸 I wouldn't like it to become another You Tube where people post really nasty comments just because they can.😈 Besides, the truth is nobody likes to get advice that they didn't ask for. So unless someone specifically asked for help, don't volunteer it. If you don't have anything positive to say it's better not to say anything. People are usually aware of their little imperfections and we don't need to point it out to them. Unless maybe when you are that person's instructor and you are responsible for teaching them that move correctly. But even a good instructor always offers more praise than criticism. 🙂 We learn a lot here on SV from watching the lessons and other people's videos as well as from chats and forum discussions. Most of us are amateurs anyway, we pole dance for fun and we don't expect it to be perfect. But Eva if criticism is what you really, really want and need - I dare you to post a video and we will be happy to critique it. 😉
maybe i can't explain good what i think, cause i don't speak english.. i don't like to criticize but i don't understand people than keep to tell you that you are sexy and really good, when it's not true i mean you can tell her ..ok you are ok ,but not to compliment too much, but yes to give little advice! i'm not talking about tell her, you can't dance or something like that and i watched so many video, i was like surprised by the comments but i'm not the type of person that like to break the balls (sorry) just wanted to know .. and believe me, if i'll post my videos i 'llwant to know what you REALLY think, not that i'n sexy when i don't etc.. i just want to improve my movements and keep in touch with who can help me :)
Many post videos here to show their progress. It is a much safer community than posting somewhere like youtube or facebook. This is not a sport that you are going to get "good" on your first videos (unless you are one of those freaks of nature or have a dance/gymnastics background). It takes a lot of guts to even post a video, especially when so many get down on themselves by comparing themselves to others. Also, what your idea of sexy may not be someone else's is. If someone is asking for their performance to be critiqued then that is one thing, to just post a video is something completely different. I have been brutally honest when asked to have a video looked at because they are thinking of entering a contest or are going to be performing somewhere. On top of this, as was stated before, many of us have gotten to know one another through this forum and know the struggles that person may be going through. A video may have been posted just after they had a really difficult situation or maybe a really good thing happen and if you know the back story you can see that in their video. Pole is not just tricks...it is an expression of one's self at that point in their life.
This is absolutely just a guess, but I also wonder if there might be a cultural reason for it? Certainly, not everyone on Studio Veena comes from the same country, but most of us speak English, and Veena herself (who, as the creator of the site, sets the tone) is American. In comparison to people from some places--Japan, for example--Americans can seem very blunt, but in comparison to people from other places, Americans can seem very roundabout.
I post videos on here alot times when I get a move I have been wanting for a long time and I fully aware that the move might not be as pretty as it could be, but I am so proud to have atleast gotten the mechincs of the move. Also there is nothing wrong with giving someone adivce on how to make the move better, but you have to be careful how you word it because if you do it the wrong way it can compelty shut the person off from trying it again or even quit pole. If your going to crituqie someone use tact and always follow it up with something supportive. I live how postive it is at studio veena, because I know how hard it is to compare yourself to others and it feels good hearing people help you stay positive about your poe journy...sorry about the spelling mistakes
This is a place where dancers can share there progress with others who understand. We are proud of our supportive nature and will continue to strive for this. Those who are looking for a constructive criticism will ask for it on the video or in the video description. There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism, when it's wanted, and it's great feedback. But, not every posting is looking for feedback on things to improve, sometimes it just feels good to dance and share! There is a language barrier but I think that is seen more in the forum posts.
I don't lie when I comment. Ever. I think everyone here IS sexy and everyone here IS doing a great job, because, as chemmie said, we here are all learning, we all know one another well, and just posting a video, for some, is a huge accomplishment. If someone wants or needs serious critique as a competitor or professional, there are other forums for that.
PS...I want you all to know...when I comment, I mean what I say. If I complement you I mean it. ❤️
Here's a link for polers looking for feedback for serious, competitive training: http://www.weflypole.com/
First, let me say that I understand that you just want to know there is a way for you to receive constructive criticism, and from the comments you have seen you're not getting that vibe. As a woman nearing the age of 50, and who is very new to poling, I would be totally put off if someone told me I looked weak, or ungraceful, or even "just okay". The comments I receive are a big part of what keeps me motivated and keeps me from feeling that this is something I shouldn't be doing. There are lots of different ages, backgrounds, ethnicities, and body types that have chosen to love this form of exercise. Some inspire awe, but everyone here is just, well.. inspiring. As everyone mentioned if we are looking for specific help, we ask for it. As Chemmie mentioned, your idea of sexy may not be the same as someone else's. What would our world be without diversity? Having the balls to post your videos, even if you know they aren't that great, is sexy in and of itself. I truly don't believe anyone here is being untruthful with their comments. They are being supportive of their fellow polers. Some of whom they have been connected with for a long time. Plain and simple. That's what Studio Veena is all about. If you need help with a move, or if you need that constructive criticism, there is no better place to receive it.
I think I can see the confusion. Don't we all know a person who fishes for compliments? A person who says, oh I am so ugly! I feel so fat today! Just so that everyone will rush in to say no, you're beautiful and you're not fat! Those types of people can be very frustrating to be around. Please don't misunderstand me. I know that people posting SV are NOT fishing for compliments, and that people on here are incredibly supportive. That is why I love the pole community. I have never taken a dance class in my life and I think I would be terrified to even try, for fear of being laughed at or criticized. The pole community is wonderful because it seems, for the most part, to be free of that sort of thing. People genuinely want others to succeed and are happy to support each other. If English is not your first language, though, it might be hard to tell the difference between a genuine compliment and one that is not genuine - or the difference between a person who wants constructive feedback and someone who just needs a little love and support. Especially since it is in text, not in person.
I used to be part of a high heel forum and there was one thread where a bunch of us gathered and posted postive comments. The rest of the forum was very blunt, sometimes praiseful and sometimes even insulting. I loved the whole forum until we lost regulars in our thread and now I only ever go to that forum if I am PMed by one of the few people I liked. That forum was centered around how long you've been a part of it and how popular your interests are (most of the site was straight men who wear heel so it was easy for me to be out of place). When I found StudioVeena, I found myself wondering why all anyone ever said was positive. Gradually, I began to see the effect of this. People struggling or making very personal videos would post them with confidence. I saw improvement from video to video based on a deep belief that it was possible for anyone to pole. It takes a lot to believe in yourself, especially with all the negativity elsewhere as chemgoddess1 mentioned, like on YouTube, Facebook, and especially real life. And then there's the negativity against polers! Another angle to consider is shifting your perspective. I have watched videos on here of ladies wearing chunky platform heels and thought how sexy and graceful they look--even though I don't like these heels myself! I wondered how that could be and I think it's because when you focus on what the dancer is expressing, a routine that might not seem like the status quo of sexy becomes sexy because the dancer feels sexy and it shows. Or in the case of the heels, a dancer might notice her lines are accentuated by the heels and she reflects this by moving with extra gracefullness so the overall picture is graceful.
Eva x: you are saying that we are lying when we compliment dancers and that is not true. Just because YOU think a performance is not sexy, does not mean that others feel the same way. Everybody has a different opinion on what sexy is. Courage, strength, passion, delight, joy, comedy, tenacity... these elements can be found in videos that may not be considered sexy, yet I find these things to be sexy. When a poler get's their very first pole sit and does a "happy dance", I THINK THAT IS SEXY. If a viewer does not like a video, there is no requirement to lie and write that they like it or think it is good or sexy. If a poster wants constructive critisism, they ask for it and recieve it.
i think everybody has to read my post one more time, i really don't understand why you can't accept a simple advice, or just accept a different opinion, i was delicate nothing wrong ....... maybe just for me. so, if this big reactions is cause i wrote something like that, i think i can't post nothing more because for you, we all have to have the same way to think and sure, what is sexy for me is not sexy for others.. so sorry ladies please if you care read one more time https://www.studioveena.com/users/view/50660b77-e79c-4704-991c-1dd70ac37250 - maybe i can't explain good what i think, cause i don't speak english.. i don't like to criticize but i don't understand people than keep to tell you that you are sexy and really good, when it's not true i mean you can tell her ..ok you are ok ,but not to compliment too much, but yes to give little advice! i'm not talking about tell her, you can't dance or something like that and i watched so many video, i was like surprised by the comments but i'm not the type of person that like to break the balls (sorry) just wanted to know .. and believe me, if i'll post my videos i 'llwant to know what you REALLY think, not that i'n sexy when i don't etc.. i just want to improve my movements and keep in touch with who can help me :)
hotel chick i wrote little advice not criticism, seems like nobody really understood
Eva X- I think we do actually understand what you mean. You want to know why we don't give advice when we comment to videos, and why we always tell the dancer that they are sexy, doing well, and such. Compared to some people (such as, in my opinion, Felix Cane) some people here may not be even CLOSE to that level of skill and beauty when it comes to movement, but that doesn't mean that we aren't doing well. It's more about perspective on that- we're telling the person that they are doing well for where they are in the journey of dancing, and especially when we've seen their progress over time! Many of us struggle under the idea that we will NEVER be good enough, and that's our own opinion of ourselves. Other people may think that we are ALREADY "good enough," and it's nice to hear them say so! For a lot of people, that little bit of advice can be devestating, and could possibly put their self-esteem and progress back by months, even years. It could be totally fine, like "Hey, I think you need to work on pointing your toes," but you don't know what that person is going through right now. They may have once had a great toe-point, but had a recent car accident, and had so much damage that they can't do it anymore. They are working hard at it, but from our perspective, it's not what we're used to looking at. Your comment could make them so self-conscious that they might give it all up completely! They might still be recovering from that accident, and you've just set them back, by that little comment. A quote from you: "and believe me, if i'll post my videos i 'llwant to know what you REALLY think, not that i'n sexy when i don't etc.." What if what we REALLY think is that you are sexy, and doing really well? What if that's all we can offer? Are you going to get fed up, and decide that everyone is hiding what they truly feel about your dancing? As I said before, if you want the advice or constructive critisism, you can ask for it! And, please do! But most of us just aren't ready for that kind of scrutiny.
Im sure that we all have seen something in others videos that could be done better. But I dont know about everyone else because i can only speak for myself, I dont watch videos and point out others "faults" or what they did wrong, etc. This is the MAIN reason why I post here. I know majority of the Veeners here are not looking at my videos and thinking, "Oh my gosh that was God awful, she shouldnt even post." I struggle everyday to be a positive person in the outside world. And here is the one place that I have the easiest time to stay positive. Its almost like my fault/negative- o- meter is turned off when I login onto this site. I dont comment on every video I watch, but that doesnt mean I didnt think the dance was good
@Eva X - in my humble opinion, critique is advice and is available for those who seek it. At my level, I don't consider myself qualified to give a lot of advice on a particular move or dance style. Further, I don't support CRITICISM, but, rather, critique, again, for those who seek it. I merely shared the link for those polers who wish for professional advice to improve their performance or prepare for competition. I post my videos here to share my progress. I'm older and pole as a hobby, not for a living. While I may perform for friends, I will never compete, and this is a welcome place for me to receive feedback from polers who have followed my progress and pole for fun and fitness as I do. I'm sure if you ask for advice, you will find many here who can help you, but, many of us here post here because it is a warm and welcoming environment, and a safe place to share with others at our level who share our passion for pole. Happy poling!
Eva X...as I stated before, if someone would like advice or a critique, then the member will ask for it in the video description. Then, members here gladly critique with honesty. There was someone recently who was entering a competition, and she wanted to know what to work on and the advice given was very constructive...without being rude of course. I'll say again, MOST members posting are just looking to share or show what they have learned so critique is not really necessary, and support is important. Eva X, If you would like your video to be critiqued please feel free to write in your description that you are looking for critique and advice, it's that simple and we would be happy to help you out.
I know the gist of what you're trying to get across. But I think what happens is a modified constructive criticism. For instance, last week, I was trying to do this lift-thingy. I posted a video and a user suggested I try a combo of moves that would help build strength for lifts. That's what I like best, when others can suggest new things for me to try that I might never have thought of by myself. This community is so supportive and I've learned tons from various users. Some people put up videos just to show how far they've come or things they're working on. But some people will say 'hey, help! I want advice'. I think it's all about the approach. :)
If a person asks for advice or critique I will give my opinion. In general if they don't ask I leave it be unless I feel something is really unsafe/disagreeable. Even then I am far more likely to send a private message to that individual. I comment on a ton of videos and I mean what I say too. If I am in a hurry and say "Great vid" it may not be GREAT to you but I enjoyed it! If I TRULY dislike something/someone I don't even view. I have a lot of respect for everyone here, and many of them I know more about than my "real friends". As others have said most of us don't need someone to tell us our flaws. We are quite aware. Here is a sampling of mine: I need to point my toes even when learning new tricks.. I need to really extend through my legs and straighten them.. even for practices I should slow down and hold poses longer smile or emote more instead of ugly concentration face..... and much more.... do these ladies point it out every video? No and clearly I don't need them to. This is where I come to share my journey with people who really understand. Many ladies here mean quite a lot to me. Several I talk to over the phone, email, skype etc. and many more I think about when there are gone for a while. In summary SV rocks 🥂
I really feel there's a cultural thing going on here. I understand why eva x said what she said - where I come from, people are much more blunt about everything, and are much more likely to criticise than give praise. It's not that we are being mean, it's just a different way to motivate people, that some (me included) think is more powerful. To be honest, I find the "american" style hard to navigate sometimes as well. To people like me, who are used to being told when something we do simply sucks, that kind of discussion doesn't sound supportive - it sounds dishonest, just as I often come across as mean-spirited when I talk to americans. So my point is - cultural differences are hard :)
thank you everybody
i was wondering the same thing but after beeing a member for a while now, I understand
