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I have only just begun working on spinning pole in earnest. I usually don't get motion sick from anything (I can read on long car trips, have no issues with air travel). But I had to lie down after working on the spinning pole for a few tricks. It's definitely a challenge! I may give this stuff a try.
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I posted this as my FB status today:
First public pole dance performance this weekend went surprisingly well. Goals achieved: did not fall on head, roll ankle, or face plant.
And added this:
http://assets.amuniversal.com/e1b565205e07012ee3bf00163e41dd5b
I'm being funny, but there's a grain of truth in keeping your expectations low. It lets you be impressed by how much you DO achieve. If the bar is set impossibly high, you have no choice but to be disappointed.
I think it's important to learn how to "let go" for performances, as SpyralBound said. You can push yourself hard while you train, because that's when the magic really happens, but when it comes time to shine and enjoy the fruits of your work, try to relax and let it flow. I learned this during years of martial arts competitions.
@SpyralBound I was pacing, doing sun salutations, even climbing and hanging upside down just to keep my back from seizing up. I was too busy to worry!
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I just performed this weekend for the first time too. It is nerve wracking, so good for you for doing it at all! My situation is a little different from yours.
1. I didn't have a routine, just a few combos picked in advance. I improv'd the transitions and floorwork. Many other performers had highly choreographed routines and were practically having panic attacks before going on stage. So you are not alone in that. I wasn't as nervous because I was winging it. I wasn't polished as some of the other performers, but it also meant I wasn't focusing on my mistakes or being "on" with the music.
2. I didn't have anyone in the audience. The other dancers were cheering for me, and their friends/family too, but there was no one there specifically FOR me, like my husband, friends, parents, etc. I think I would have been a lot more nervous if the audience wasn't all relative strangers.
I ended up doing OK. I haven't seen any video or photos yet, but the overall feedback from my fellow dancers was good. That said, they're a supportive bunch and never have anything bad to say about anyone!
The important thing to remember is you are comparing yourself against A) other dancers and B) an idealized version of yourself. What you actually did on stage was probably beautiful and probably never could have lived up to B, because B is a fantasy. As far as A, everyone's journey is different and everyone has good days and bad days, even champion level dancers. Everyone remembers their own mistakes and not the successes. For the uneducated viewer, doing anything at all on a pole is reason to be awestruck.
As for your boyfriend… it sounds like he's seen you dance before. My husband knows enough about pole dance now (thanks to me!) to know exactly what I'm struggling with. So he knows my tricky spots and can spot my mistakes (bad toe points, weird follow through, tricks not executed well). He wasn't at the performance and that may have helped me stay calm! Maybe your boyfriend saw you were disappointed and didn't know what to say. At the very least, you should keep performing and maybe try doing a freestyle next time if you're allowed. You might be surprised by what happens!
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This is an interesting thread, and I debated sharing my story. I'm envious of those of you who have parents who support you in pole, or any hobby, really.
I have been poling since 2010 and I still have not told my parents. When I first started taking classes, I was a little embarrassed and not sure what they would think. My parents teased me quite a bit growing up, making fun of any interests and hobbies that they didn't understand. Telling them that I was taking pole dance lessons seemed like asking for trouble. So if I was going to a pole event, I would just say I was going to see friends. They never asked what I was doing with those friends. Or I would just say I was going to a yoga class.
Now, I am a lot less concerned about what people think of me doing pole – some of my in laws know and are supportive, and all of my friends know and think it's cool. But my parents still don't know. I hardly see them anymore since moving two hours away and we are not very close. I feel like we just never became adult "friends." The last time they were here, almost a year ago, I thought that would be a good time to tell them since I have a pole in my house! But they never saw it. It's upstairs in the guest room, and they didn't even want to go upstairs to see the rest of the house. They were just dropping in on their way back from a trip and in a hurry to get home.
We talk briefly on the phone every other week or so, but it never seems like a good time to blurt out "by the way, I've been working on landing a difficult pole trick and finally got it this week." I'm past the point of being embarrassed to tell them, and I want them to know and be proud of me. But it's hard to just put it out there. I once visited them in the summer while covered in pole bruises. I figured that would be a good time to bring it up, and reassure them that I was ok! But they didn't say a word about my bruises. I'm not sure if they even noticed since they were drinking heavily (another sticking point I have with them).
My parents have been to Cirque shows, so I think they would understand the level of skill and strength involved in pole dance. But sometimes it seems easier just to keep it private.
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I asked this same question during a flexibility workshop with an aerialist. She said tingling is normal/expected when you're stretching to your limit in an effort to gain flexibility. This is different from gentle stretching to maintain flexibility. It's like when a part of your body falls asleep when a nerve gets compressed. Pain is not OK, but a pins-and-needles feeling is to be expected if the area is very tight, because you are putting pressure on the nerves during the stretch. The important thing is that the tingling stops as soon as you release the stretch. If it doesn't, something else may be up. Another red flag is radiation (where the tingling happens in a different part of your body than what you're stretching, like in the legs while you're stretching your back.) Foam rolling will help to loosen the muscles and put less pressure on the nerves. A deep tissue massage of my hip flexors and psoas also made a world of difference for me.
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PS I am happy with my X-Pert and would consider getting a permanent/vaulted ceiling mount for it for whenever I'm settled. 🙂
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For a heavier person, especially a beginner, I might recommend a fixed ceiling mount pole (like any Lil Mynx) over a pressure mounted pole like an X-Pert. I might be paranoid, but ceiling mounts just seem safer to me. I have a X-Pert because I rent and I need variable ceiling height for when I move again. I know the X-Pole manual says it is rated for higher weight limits and it is perfectly safe when installed correctly, but there is always the issue of user error. I always feel like if someone has the option to do either type, they should go for a ceiling mount. I know a lot of studios don't use pressure mounted poles because they can loosen up over time with daily use.
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@sparrow I LOLed at your comment, it's really hilarious how much of my videos consist of me wiping the pole followed by me staring at the pole. Of course I know it's just me resting, catching my breath, thinking of what to try next. But that makes the great moments of progress that much better!
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I was traveling when you posted this, but if you need any more testers I'd be happy to help.
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@AerialGypsy Good to know. It seemed like it would work, but I'd have to find someone selling used pole parts. It might be easier just to get a second pole.
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If your photographer was anything like mine, they can fix this. Mine did all sorts of supermodel type edits on my photos… She smoothed out bad skin and tan lines, did some warping/pinching to fix my posture in a few photos where I was slouching, and even removed a large bruise from my husband’s grandmother’s face. She didnt want to be in any photos because of this big multicolor bruise (she tripped and fell a week before the wedding) but my photographer assured her it could be fixed in post. Sure enough, it was. If your photographer isn’t up to the task, find another photographer who can. I can even recommend one 🙂
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I’m not sure what I would call my thighs… It was kind of hard to find skinny jeans that fit, so I guess they’re thick? 🙂 I definitely feel safer in the CKR but that’s because the positioning is different and it suits my body. The CAR is all about squeezing and using thighs and knees to hold, and I find it harder than even superman. I think it’s good to learn both, but everyone has a preference. My first pole instructor strongly prefers CAR.
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I had similar feelings after my wedding. Part of the reason is because my job was super unfulfilling, and the wedding gave me a project to focus on where I could really see my efforts make a difference. When that's suddenly over, it can be a bit overwhelming to know what to do with yourself. Give yourself some new projects (home? work? exercise? personal?) and see if that helps.
As for wedding disasters… mine was pretty minor, but at the time it felt huge. So I understand. Our officiant forgot to pack a very important cable for her PA system (the one to be used for our outdoor ceremony music and for her voice during the ceremony.) Rather than sending someone else out to replace it, or proceeding with the ceremony without the PA system, she chose to leave the premises and go out in the mess of summertime vacationer traffic to get one herself. (!) So everything was ready to go, it was show time, and we had no one to marry us. I was waiting in the wings freaking out while the bridesmaids and groomsmen were trying to figure out what the hell we were supposed to do if she didn't return. She finally got back about 15 minutes after the ceremony was supposed to start, and that's when I walked down the aisle. I was already near tears from the stress of wondering if she would ever come back, but I managed to keep it together for the sake of my expensive makeup job! The ceremony went off without a hitch and the day was otherwise lovely, but it took a long time for me to calm down enough to enjoy it and stop waiting for something else to go wrong. My husband and I planned the entire wedding ourselves and I am a natural worrier, so it made the day so much more exhausting. To this day, when I look at our wedding photos, I groan whenever I see any that include our officiant. But it lessens with time.
I also have some wedding dress regrets. I loved my dress, but it started to slide down as the day progressed, and a little sliver of my bra was showing in quite a few pictures. I know nobody else can notice it, but I can. I also bustled the train to get in and out of the vehicle when I first arrived for pictures, and I never remembered to un-bustle it. So there are no photos of my dress with its long beautiful train. It's fine though, it still looked nice.
If you have a lot of regrets about your wedding, then it might be nice to have a really special 1st anniversary date. Go all out, get your hair and makeup done, go somewhere special, so you can relive some of that bride fun without the pressures of making it that one special day.
The important thing is, if you married someone amazing, that is all. It is such a cliche to say "as long as you ended up married in the end, it was a good day" but it's true. Marriage is so much more important than one day, and if you can cope with some drama on your wedding day then you can consider it practice for all the other drama life will throw at you. I hope some day you will decide this is less of a tragedy and more like a great story to share with other stressed out brides. 🙂
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A couple of things:
Although I can do both of these moves, my husband can't. He's a lot stronger than I am, so don't feel like a lack of strength is the problem. They're both moves that require a lot of flexibility and many people (male and female) don't have it naturally and it needs to be built up. You are correct on that.
I am flexible enough for an elbowstand press up, but don't have the strength in my core to do it yet. So I still kick up into elbowstands and handstands against the wall. My husband trains handstands both against the wall and in the middle of the room, and he kicks up into them like a gymnast would. His hamstrings are way too tight for a press up, though he may have the strength in his core.
Kicking up against the wall is OK as long as it is controlled. If you go SMACK into the wall then you are pushing too hard and need to go more gently. It's better to push, miss, and come back down with control than it is to go up with too much force. Those small attempts will help build strength and control. If you are falling/flailing then you are going too hard. If you think a video would be helpful, I could take one.
For bridge, you can work on some other variations to build flexibility in your spine without having to push yourself up all the way.
One is supported bridge:
With a block:
http://res.mindbodygreen.com/img/ftr/Supported-Bridge-Yoga-Poses.jpgThe important things are to keep your knees close together (don't splay your legs to the sides) and try to take the move out of your back and glutes and into your quads. This is much easier to learn while doing the lower bridge position, and then apply that once you're strong enough for the full backbend position.
The full wheel pose (what many people call bridge) is an advanced move in yoga, requiring a lot of flexibility not just in the back, but also in the shoulders and upper back in order to get that "upside down push up" position. I have actually injured my back from doing that move with improper body mechanics. So definitely work on supported bridge or regular bridge first, it will help you gain back flexibility with less risk.
In the modified positions above, the weight is on your shoulders and upper back, not your head. If you're up on your head, that is incorrect. Don't do crazy things just to feel more flexible in your back… I used to be guilty of that kind of thinking myself and slipped a vertebra for the trouble. By no means should you be resting all of your weight on your head. I sometimes use my head as an extra "hand" when lowering myself down from wheel pose, but that's just a quick thing. Putting your body weight on your head can lead to a serious neck injury. (PSA over)
Good luck and welcome back!
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Just chiming in… this thread could have been started by me, and chemgoddess's advice is right on. It took about 3 months for my pain to go away entirely, but I was still able to strengthen and build flexibility in my forearms while it healed. You can still do pole, just avoid bracket hold and be careful. I still get this pain if I get tired and fall back into old bad habits, but focusing on good form helps.
I have also taken workshops with Karol and learned those same hand strengthening exercises. They helped me a lot. Also, using a 45mm pole instead of a 50mm, so I could better engage the top hand and arm. Another big help for me was taking up vinyasa yoga (lots of forearm strengtheners there, in poses like downward dog, plank, crow stand, other arm balances). Split/bracket grip really should be like a one handed spin with a little bit of push from the bottom hand to keep your body away from the pole. The bottom arm should not be taking much weight.
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When you're in a basic inverted position, your head is the closest thing to the ground. Don't let that freak you out, but obviously if you fall headfirst, that is much worse than hands first, or chest first, or even shoulders/back first. Though it may be scary to let go with your hands in an invert, remember that having anything between your head and the floor adds a measure of safety. The inverted crucifix to superman dismount, or basic invert to upper shoulders/back (what Veena calls the basic dismount) are both super important as escape moves. You can practice doing shoulder stands and reverse handstands on the floor to get used to the inverted positions. I have found myself in some precarious positions on the pole before, but as long as I can get to one of these safe dismount positions, I can get down safely.
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LOL, he was, but he wasn't that guy… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C5%8Djun_Miyagi
Japanese martial arts is interesting because of how much it draws on the samurai-clan mythology, which requires fealty even to death. It makes it so much more dramatic when you actually do want to leave for legitimate reasons. I left my dojo because I got a job far away, around that same time my instructor got sick and eventually passed away from cancer. It was sad all around but the power vacuum from his absence brought out everyone's ugly sides. Now none of those people even talk to me anymore – won't answer phone calls or emails, didn't respond to invites to my wedding, just because I "betrayed" them. I spent 10 years of my life with them, and now they act like I don't exist. Martial artists can be almost cult-ish.
Back on topic to pole and Alexa's specific problem – yes, it sounds like the people at this studio are acting like children. Maybe their intentions are understandable (students=money) but I would not give my money to a place with staff that acted like that. I say, go to whatever workshops you like, pole at home, and don't bother with people who can't accept that other pole studios exist.
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Koi I wasn't gonna say it, but… OMG this is such a problem in martial arts too. It's like everyone decided that the Karate Kid was a documentary…
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Unfortunately this does not just happen in pole. I see it happen in yoga communities too – even though there is this idea that yoga is all about happiness and peace and love, there can be a lot of drama about student retention and local studios "getting along" with each other, in terms of instructional style, class offerings, or just overall attitudes. Like it or not, studios are businesses and need to retain regular students in order to make consistent money. It sounds like your studio might be going about student retention in the wrong way. Do you live in a large city? If not, it could be that there are not enough people in the area to support as many pole studios as there are. That could make a studio really anxious to maintain loyalty.
You definitely shouldn't give up on pole. Home study is one option. There are no studios where I love. So I practice at home, do yoga, and also take occasional weekend workshops at several studios in reasonable driving distance, including the one I started at (which is 2 hours away, but worth visiting.)
One of the reasons I really like StudioVeena is because there's none of this rivalry that comes from local business competition. Sure, the local studios around here might be rivals and trash talk each other, but why can't I be pole friends with, or get instructional tips, from someone in Texas or California or France? It doesn't impact anyone's bottom line at all, it's just done out of sheer friendliness and a desire to share.
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Corby is that the mobile version of the article I read? 🙂
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Same as Koidragon and kasanya, I came into pole with quite a bit of existing strength, and it was enough to cover up for bad body mechanics. Luckily I didn't experience any major injuries, but I worsened some existing ones and I experienced the "split grip pain" that so many people get. Getting the details right is so important. Now when people tell me I should teach pole, I try to explain that I'm not qualified or ready yet. It's fun, but also seriously dangerous and potentially life altering stuff. At the very least, you need insurance.
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Should we be emphasizing the desexualization? In my opinion, no. But it's tough. As Bob said, the stigma is still alive and well as evidenced by many people's responses to the article. I get frustrated every time I try to discuss pole and all people can talk about is that one time they went to a strip club, or that time they saw a girl fall on her head on Youtube. They don't want to actually hear about discovering a new artistic outlet at an older age, or finding a new reason to care about fitness and health. It's just an opening for a joke. That said, the movement to desexualize pole seems to be focusing on the second part of that problem, but not so much the first.
I often revert to the usual arguments when I defend pole. "It's not at all what you think, it's not just sex, it's dance, it's sport, it's fitness, etc." I don't even necessarily agree deep in my heart – I like the sex appeal, I think pole can and should be sexy if that's what you like about it (and if you don't, fine! Dance however you like, it's all about you). But I feel like I "have" to say these things as a member of the community speaking on behalf of many, as opposed to speaking for myself.​
I think the first question should be: if pole is a sport, why is there dance in it at all? Why is there music or a set routine? If all you need to do is execute the moves with perfect form, it might as well just be that – standing in front of a judge who is evaluating your skills. How do they judge mallakhamb, anyway? Dance is dance and sport is sport, and the sports that blend the two (figure skating, gymnastics, cheerleading, etc) have many of the same problems as pole does. Whether "artistic" pole should be sexy is an entirely separate discussion. I think the obvious answer is "art is not uniform, so it's entirely up to the artist."
I do find it frustrating that the best way that some people have come up with to address the stigma of pole dance in society is to focus on making it sterile. But I suppose it's a lot harder to try to convince people that healthy sexual expression by consenting adults will not cause society to collapse.
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There was an interesting article published on Slate around the time of the 2012 Olympics. It discussed the changing focus of gymnastics, to scoring purely on technical merit as opposed to considering dance ability and musicality. It led to some dramatic differences between modern day gymnastics and older routines, which were historically dominated by the ballet-focused Soviets. It was an interesting read, and I feel like the same thing might happen to pole if this trend continues.
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I sold my old Xpole to a friend with a 9 foot ceiling (mine are a shade under 8 feet). When I set it up with her, I was using all of the out-of-the-box extensions as per the manual, and I could see the black ring once it was fully extended. I never saw the ring before because I'd never pushed the pole up to 9 feet. Is the black ring not supposed to show? It seemed fine otherwise.
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This isn't a move I was taught, but I remember going to an open pole practice session at a studio and seeing a girl off in the distance doing a no hands cradle. It was absolutely on a spinning pole because she went several revolutions. I'm sure it's "possible" to do as a static spin but not very practical (and probably very very painful).
