[Runemist34]

Sounds like a frustrating situation.
I was totally going to suggest working on flow and stuff, and it sounds like you’ve got that part figured out. You guys can also try stringing moves together that you wouldn’t normally put together, see if you can come up with new transitions and such.
Personally, I never found other students doing more advanced stuff to be distracting. I was always too far into my own work to notice!
And, remember that drilling moves like that can be useful, too. If you reach a plateau or something challenging, those drills can really come in handy to get you over a hurdle, and increase your strength enough to push you farther.

[Runemist34]

I think this is true of any creative art, and it’s simply something that we need to realize… and, we have to understand that it doesn’t matter.
As a writer, I understand that there will likely be writers who are better at plot, or character, or grammar, or scene… writers who will sell more books than I will, who will get more money for their books, or who will be better-known than I will.
As a musician, I know that there are people with faster fingers, better understanding of how to read and write music, and with more expensive harps than mine.
As dancers, we need to remember that there will always be people who are “better” at certain things, or whom we admire.
But you also need to remember that all of these things are creative expressions of the self… and your SELF is totally unique, incomparable, totally special, and something everyone will love and enjoy seeing. You will never know anyone who is better at being you than you are. There is something that lives in you that deserves, longs, wishes, and requires to be heard… and you can give it to the world, through dancing.

You cannot be “behind” anyone, if you aren’t competing with them. And, you aren’t. Your journey is your own, your journey is exactly what it needs to be.

[Runemist34]

Kimmaaaaay – You’re not alone. I’m about a 34 I and it sucks, because I can also never find nice tops that fit- either you fall out the bottom or your boobs are being squished out.
I actually did a whole big post about larger chest sizes a while back, and had some links to some great sports bras and stuff that could pass for tops, especially in a pole class.
But trust me… you are definitely not alone in this!

[Runemist34]

I’m not really seeing anything on here that would work for me. All the shorts look like they hit below the hipbones, which means for me I’ll be uncomfortably showing off too much in the back, and I won’t be able to bend down at all. And, all the tops don’t really work for someone with a small ribcage and large bust- if I go up to an XL for my bust, I’ll just fall out the bottom.
So… unfortunate, but I hope you find someone who can wear it.

[Runemist34]

Looks very interesting! I would be curious to see what kinds of things they send out, month to month! I wish I had the money to subscribe 😉

[Runemist34]

Ouch, sorry to hear you strained something! It’s always really frustrating, especially when you need it for work.
Have you been putting ice and heat on it? These, for me, do a world of good for healing and feeling less painful when I must move or use the thing I’ve pulled (whatever I pulled at the time!). I found ice was so good for my rotator cuff a long time ago, I didn’t even need painkillers for it.
Otherwise, I think you’re on the right track. Rest it as much as you possibly can, and lay off the stretching for that area for now. If anything hurts, try not to do it again!
Take care of yourself 🙂

[Runemist34]

I find, personally, that I cannot cross my legs anywhere at or above the knee when doing a pole sit. I’d have to dislocate my thighs! But, crossing at the ankles, or slightly up from that, is totally feasible.
As for flexibility… well, it’s going to take him a lot of time. A long, long time can go into correcting tight hamstrings and creating more flexibility in the shoulders! It can be done, however, with consistency and time!
Focusing on what he CAN do, rather than what he cannot do, is going to be important for him to continue his journey and feel good about his pole dancing. I’m sure he can do a lot more than most would expect 😉

[Runemist34]

Depends on what I’m looking for, but mostly I watch Eva Bembo, Felix Cane, Alethea Austin (sometimes), Vladimir Karachunov (only really for his crazy pole tricks)… I’m very picky when it comes to dancers I really admire. A lot of them have good moves, but not many can really make it into a performance. I love sexy style. I have a few very cherished videos from popular people (such as Jamilla DeVille and Leigh Ann) that I like, even though I’m not super into their style normally.
I also recently found Sarah Jade, but we’ll see if she gets on the serious list 😉
There are some names from Phoenix and Lola that I haven’t seen, so I’ll be checking them out, too!

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
I believe that, yes, most salons can do that sort of dye in one sitting. I think it would be especially beneficial for you to check out some places in your area, and find out if anyone can put you at ease. Many professionals will have done lots of different kinds of dye jobs, and many of them will be able to give you advice, and a professional opinion about what you’re looking for.
I also find it helpful to look at pictures of what I want, in order to solidify the idea in my head about whether I like what I’m getting or not.
And remember- hair will grow out. If you hate it, you can either dye it again (though hair is not infinitely dye-able and you may want to take an easier route for your first step, such as trying a colour that is darker than the rest, but still light enough that it would come out easily) or let it grow out and then chop off what you don’t like.

[Runemist34]

I agree with poleisnewtome- everything is scary! I feel out of a cross ankle release, and it’s taken me AGES to get back to it. I’m still not fully there, but… I’ve also had some forced time off the pole for a while.
I’ve got a terrible fear of being upside down, even though most of the pole tricks are upside down… and most of them are things I definitely want to do!
What I do is take them in steps. So, for example, a cross ankle release I will do in reverse from the floor- shimmy my bum up to the pole, lift my hips high, and grip the pole with my legs the way I would be doing in a cross ankle release. If I can then sit up in that position, I know I’ve got it right, and that it’s secure (it’s also a crazy good workout for the abs!). Then, after a while, I get into a low pole sit, and get my legs into the correct position. I’ll lean back a little bit, and test it out. Over time, I start to let my hands go, sort of like a very difficult, aerial V-sit (it will work your abs like HARDCORE so be warned! It hurts!! Don’t do it too much). Once you’ve gotten used to the grip with your legs, slowly work your way backwards to a full layback. There is a “point of no return,” in which you simply have to commit to the layback. It helps to get to this point while low to the ground, because if you can reach the ground with your hands, you then have a great “break” in case your legs slip.
I think that every scary move can be broken down, in one way or another, to make it easier to get used to.
For someone like me, who has an anxiety disorder and is sometimes paralyzed by fear, it can be a great way to push yourself, but not too far. Most people will go through these steps quicker than I will… but, I recognize we all have different challenges.

A crash mat is a really, really good idea, too.

[Runemist34]

Hey there,
This one hit home pretty hard for me, not because of my current or past relationships… but because of my sister’s current relationship.
She’s constantly waiting for him to change, to get better, and to make good on the promises he makes to her. But, in the end it’s always the same and he doesn’t change, he doesn’t shift his stance, and he expects her to keep up her end of the relationship bargain, despite his not doing so.
I agree with Catmoves and Adventures of Alice- please seek professional help! You’re doing all of these things for him, you’re constantly trying to bring his gaze to you, when it’s obviously not coming… and you will wear yourself out soon.
You must have the time and trust with your partner to be able to do your stuff, on your time, and know that they will always come back to you.
Having these sorts of trust issues in a relationship can destroy it, and it can also make you feel crazy. Saying things like “I don’t want to ask too much of him” isn’t fair to you. You are putting out WAY more effort in order to try to have something happen that he already promised would happen without all of that effort. And he didn’t follow up. He’s lied to you, consistently.
Take care of YOU, and remember that you have to be at the top of the list in your life.

[Runemist34]

Looks interesting! I’ve never been a fan of tampons, or menstrual cups, but I could see them being useful and nice for leaks and such, and when you want to get upside down 😉

[Runemist34]

At the top of the forum page, I’m seeing some other links to things like Videos and Blogs, but it’s not up by the Lessons, Gallery, Pricing, Home and Search.
However, what I have is a little scroll bar next to those things (Home, Gallery, etc.) with the logo inside the dark part of the header. It seems weird, doesn’t do anything or go anywhere except a millimetre up or down… Maybe a glitch?

[Runemist34]

Hey!
I’ve actually never heard of any kind of fitness tracker that is compatible with pole dancing.
For most of the ones you wear, it’s usually for heart rate, cardio, distance… that sort of thing.
I’ve used the My Fitness Pal app a little bit, but they have no entries for pole dance in their databases- you basically have to make your own personal ones and guess how many calories it burns, what you did, how long you held it for… it’s just a hassle trying to break dancing down that way.
If you do find something else that fits better, let us know!

[Runemist34]

Hey Jenny!
Generally, to see improvement on a consistent basis, you should engage in strength training at least once a week, and at very most, 5 times a week. Most people find the “sweet spot” to be at about 3 times a week, however! This allows you to have a practice that happens often enough to push your body, but also rest days enough that you can recover from your workouts.
So, if you’re doing Pole once a week in a studio, for example, you could go to the gym or do your own exercises at home two times a week aside from that.
Of course, this also depends on how you react to the stresses of training, and what you feel you can handle in your schedule. If you can only do pole once a week, that’s okay! And, if you have lots of time, and find that four or five times a week is best for you, then that’s okay, too! Just remember that consistency is key, and that if you can’t train very often, be gentle. Forcing yourself to train “harder” or with more intensity isn’t going to do you any favours, especially if you’re trying to “make up for a lack of training time.” Your body will thank you for being gentle!

[Runemist34]

Hey Cheryl!
Glad to have you here on the forum!
First of all, it’s difficult to say whether you are “too heavy,” but most poles can handle up to 250lbs or so, and be perfectly fine. If you’re above that, you can always participate in different ways- you can do floor work and simpler moves on the pole that don’t require your body weight to be full on the pole, until you feel comfortable and safe moving up 😉
Any kind of movement can really help with weight loss, and a lot of pole dance is going to use your muscles in the same kinds of ways that strength training does- be prepared for sore muscles and feeling deliciously well worked! Some women are afraid of putting on “bulk” by lifting weights, or doing exercises that would be similar to strength training… and there’s an article you must read if this is something you’re concerned about: http://www.girlsgonestrong.com/heavy-bulky/
Pole dance can also be used to get your cardio on, it’s all in the way you work it! By doing things faster that tax your muscles a bit less, you will find that you can get a good cardio workout. Most of us sit somewhere in the middle of cardio and strength training when we pole dance!

You can certainly use just the lessons here on the site! They are all put in order of difficulty, so you work from the very beginning and move forward as you feel you can!
Other good resources, for those of us who aren’t doing studio classes (for various reasons), could also be Jamilla DeVilles Pole DVD’s are also a good way to learn, as she explains things carefully and clearly. It can be a bit tough with the DVD though, because you don’t really have anyone to ask questions of.
Which is a great point of being here: You can ask anything, or search the forums, and we’ll more than likely have an answer for you! We are all here for troubleshooting and moral support 😉

As for purchasing a pole, there are three main companies that we trust in North America for making safe, sturdy, and useable poles. You must remember: We are trusting our safety to these poles! Nothing less than excellence will do, because there have been some bad accidents with people using less-than-great poles from companies that just want to make a stupid buck.
So, the three trusted ones are Lil Mynx, X-Pole, and Platinum stages. All three have their advantages and drawbacks!
Lil Mynx poles generally come as one single piece, and have an “extender pole” in the middle so that you can adjust to the exact height of your ceiling. Obviously, this also means you don’t want one that is too tall! Studio Veena has previously worked with Lil Mynx, and I’ve personally had one of their poles for quite a long time. I like how it works, but not everyone does. Having a single 8 foot piece of pole can be a little cumbersome, but I also feel happy not having to put anything together. This pole goes up by way of a bracket that is bolted into a stud in the ceiling. It’s very easy to clean up if you move, too. They also have Powder coated poles, which I prefer personally (very grippy!) but not everyone enjoys (too much grip would make spins very hard and possibly painful, it depends on how you react to it).
Xpole is one of the most popular poles, both in the wider community, and on this site. Their poles don’t require any bolts or anything else, but do still require a stud in the ceiling. They come in pieces, are put together easily, and can be taken down quickly. They also have multiple finishes, but I don’t think they have powder coated.
Platinum stages… I actually haven’t heard much from in a while, but I know they’re still around, and still selling a quality product!

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask 🙂

OH and before I forget: You can check out the lessons here for free for 3 days, using the code GET3FREE, just in case you want to check them out!!

[Runemist34]

Here it is Roni!
https://gumroad.com/ALETHEAAUSTIN

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
It looks like there are a few layers to this issue, so I’m gonna quickly break down what I’m seeing in your post.
First, it sounds like your really enjoy both Yoga and Zumba (hopefully?), and that’s great! Yoga can be excellent for gaining strength and flexibility, as well as connecting to your body in great ways. I really have enjoyed yoga, and while my shoulder was in a bad way, I really missed it. Those two things should definitely help you out!
As for the personal trainer- well, he’s there to help YOU, not to just make you do things he thinks you should do. While strength training is definitely important to both weight loss and confidence, you can find other ways to do it… ways that aren’t so, um, boring and brutal? Personally, I would just say I was unable to set down the next appointment and that I would “call when I know.” It’s sort of evasive, I realize, but I don’t like straight-up saying that people aren’t doing the job properly and I’m not coming back. You could always tell him it’s just not working out for you, and that you’ll be finding your strength training elsewhere.
I also feel like you might be beating yourself up a bit about your weight gain. Especially when it’s depression-related, you really need to be careful about how you approach it. Your self-esteem has likely taken a beating, and if you’re “punishing” yourself for gaining the weight with exercise, it’ll turn sour, and you may feel even worse about yourself.
You are beautiful. You need not see any particular number on the scale, wear any particular size of clothing, or have any particular amount or lack of fat upon you to be beautiful.
Speaking of the number on the scale- it lies. You may be “not seeing any change,” but you may also be gaining muscle mass while also losing fat. Muscle will take up less space on your body, but weigh quite a lot. I, personally, am both the thinnest and the heaviest I have ever been! Muscle will also help you burn more of your body fat when you work out, and will continue to burn more food during the day.
Finally, being a vegetarian (and vegan), you need to watch the amount of protein you take in, because protein is necessary for muscle growth. You can always take a look into some recommendations around the internet (with appropriate understanding that not everything is to believed! Lots of research is often necessary, but you can often find what works for you!), and work on your nutrition from there! You’re the only one who can really say what’s best for you, because you know how your body works and how it responds to different foods!

Keep on keepin’ on, and do good for yourself! You’ll see great results 🙂

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
It sounds like you’re right at the beginning of your pole journey, and let me tell you, we ALL miss days! Adjusting your training to what fits your schedule is really important, and sometimes, it means you might have to adjust the 30 day takeoff a bit!
There are rest days built into it, but what you could do is simply do what you’re supposed to do on those rest days on the weekend instead! That way you’re getting your workouts done when you have energy and time, and you’re also taking a break.
Also, please remember that even one day of training in a week is better than no days. Five days is like your maximum, and anywhere between those two is awesome!

Flexibility training WILL tax your muscles in similar ways to strength training, so alternating the two might be a bad idea. For flexy training, you’re trying to increase your flexibility- stretching is usually just allowing the muscles to relax and return to their regular flexibility after a training session. You’ll need proper rest days away from flexibility training as well!

The 30 day takeoff, as far as I can recall, does actually include some of the conditioning and strengthening exercises, so you need not do any extra training with them. It’s meant to ease you in, and get you used to the pattern of training, so that when you fly by yourself at the end, you’ll feel more confident with what you need to do, and how you’ll react to it.

Not being able to do a pole hold is… really common. I can’t think of any beginner who can do it, especially if they don’t have a background in lots of weight lifting, or a significant amount of dance or gymnastics. Pole hold is a good goal, but please remember that you are working toward it… you don’t have to be able to do it right now!

Hope you’re having fun!

[Runemist34]

Thanks everyone! I decided to get them, and so far, they’re pretty awesome! They might be the ones I work on while my shoulder continues to get better, and while I get myself back on the pole 😉

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
Total beginners are abundant these days, especially ones with children! It’s awesome to hear you’re wanting to get started, and welcome to the forum!
There can be a lot of information floating around, but there are a few ways to help you out!
First, there is a “search” function on the site, in case you have a question that you are SURE someone else has asked before! This can also be useful for digging up more information on a topic, even if you do ask. I did this after asking the forum about one move, and found the most obscure, tiny piece of advice, and it totally worked for me! So don’t be afraid to go digging around.
Second, the lessons are all set out in order- so, you start at beginner, and go through in order as you work your way up! Obviously, sometimes you’ll be hampered by flexibility (I know for sure I can’t do a split yet, and some of the floorwork moves include those!), but it comes with time, patience, and consistency.
Veena also created a 30 day Takeoff, which is meant for people who have a difficult time figuring out what the heck to do for their home workouts, or how to pace themselves. Starting something like this can be daunting, so definitely check out the 30 day takeoff! You can repeat it as much as you want to, as well!

For poles, you must realize that not all poles are created equal- many of the cheaper types are not made to take our weight, and they are very dangerous to dance with! As we are trusting our safety and our health to these poles, there are three brands that everyone swears by and trusts: XPole, Lil Mynx, and Platinum Stages.

I know many of the women here have Xpoles, and love them to bits! They are one of the more prolific in the biz and have many options, in case you need to quickly take your pole down, or you want it to be able to spin, and if you are uncomfortable putting anything into your ceiling. If you’re looking for a used pole, be wary of knockoff Xpoles out there- they have telltale signs (which I currently can’t remember, it’s been a while) and are not particularly safe.
I personally have a Lil Mynx, and have been dancing on them for more than 6 years! I prefer the powder coated (that is, the ones that are coloured), but have also used Stainless steel. My current pole also has the option to spin if I want it to. Lil Mynx comes as one single piece, so you have to make sure your ceilings are tall enough (you can get a custom cut, or just make sure you order slightly smaller than what you have) though they do have an inner pole that extends to fit what you have exactly- you just don’t want to be using that part to dance! I find it very nice to have the single piece, and I’m fine with putting a bolt into my ceiling, so it works well for me!
Platinum stages hasn’t been quite as “hyped” recently as those two, but still have good options if you don’t like the other two.

Training 3-4 times a week is the average for most people when engaging in any physical activity- heck, I have a hard enough time getting outside for a run that much in a week! It seems to be the “sweet spot” between not feeling like you’re getting enough, and pushing yourself really hard. So, with that in mind, remember that rest days are SUPER important, as you will be taxing your muscles, and they won’t get stronger if you don’t let them rest. You can always do some gentle yoga, or pick up hooping (as many people here have!) if you feel you still need some kind of physical activity on your rest days.

The feeling that you “need to work on everything” is completely normal! Just take your time, work at your own pace, and relax. You’ll get there!

[Runemist34]

Wow, really liking this thread 😉
I’ve performed a couple times on stage, and watched a lot of different performances- mostly Burlesque, but I’ve also watched things like pole dance, and strippers, and just about anything else I can watch 😉
Probably the biggest thing to remember: Confidence!
It can be pretty scary getting up on stage and showing off, and when it comes to pole and burlesque, you’re sometimes showing off more of your body than you normally do. Pole dancing is a lot of strength and showing off, and you need to remember that people are looking at your body, at how you move, at your display!
So, if you’re the more shy, “hide backstage” kind of person, the way I am, you need to find what I like to call your “Inner Diva,” also called the “Inner Drag Queen.” It’s basically the part of you that KNOWS you’re fabulous, and has no problems showing it all off!
Eye contact is definitely a big one- you can actually look above the heads of everyone in the audience (as long as it’s not super multi-tiered!) and they will think you’re making eye contact. Proper posture, slower movements (being able to spend time in a move, allow people to look at you), and big gestures so everyone in the back can see what you’re doing!

For me, I always found that moves that seemed “impossible” were the biggest. Things like a Star, or Knee hold, or a Jade Split.

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
Many, many people begin pole without being able to even hold their weight up off the ground, in any position. This can be super difficult, and depending on how you have your shoulders engaged, sometimes a little straining 😉
With Veena’s 30 day takeoff, she’ll have you do rest days, which are super important! You heal, and become stronger, during those rest days. Appropriate maintenance and care of your muscles will also help you heal up a little faster- things like foam rolling, having an epsom salt bath (probably would be lovely for some “you” time, too!) and even having a shower where you alternate hot and cold (seriously, I tried it! Not so bad, and it helps keep the muscle soreness away). And massages, if you can afford them 😉
Most people find that working out 3 times a week is best for them- often, this is all we can spare! I would say that a maximum of 5 times a week, and a minimum of 1 time a week, and you would still see progress. Obviously, faster progress with more workouts, but you also want to take into account your energy levels, and your time constraints- are you actually able to muster that much energy five times a week? I know I’m not able to, and I don’t even have children!

You don’t need to have worked out before you start pole dancing, as Veena has it all laid out in order- you start at the beginning and work your way through, slowly! Listen to your body, and find out what it needs in order to do the move safely, without any stress or strain, without throwing yourself into it fast and uncontrolled, and you’ll be well on your way 🙂

And welcome to the site! 🙂

[Runemist34]

Still figuring out the Periscope thing, but definitely interested in being there when I can!

[Runemist34]

Oh I forgot!
Yoga is super easy to get into, but I also had that issue of “where do I start?!”
I started with this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBu-pQG6sTY

She’s a great instructor, the 30 days is free on Youtube (and you can do it over and over and over again!), and she has other stuff on her channel, too, if you’re feeling like you need something else.