The Stripper Thing... Again

Brumby started this discussion · 12/16/2011

I'm sure many of you have spoken your mind on this a hundred times and are totally sick of the controversy. But I just feel so strongly that what we practice is a sport as well as an art. I have been pole dancing for about six months, and I have never seen a video on this site where a woman wears a thong, or takes her top off. The dances get sexual, but so does ballet! I just want pole dancing to be something I can talk about with out others getting the wrong impression. I want it to be a sport that men (even straight ones) can enjoy too. (Cheers, Bob) But in my city, the only place that pole dancing is exhibited is a strip club. There are four studios here, and no where for students, teachers and practitioners to exhibit their art. I kinda feel like our pole community here is on the proverbial treadmill. We are getting sexy, expressive, and all tricked-out, with no where to go. At least we will all be rockin six-packs. lol. I just needed to vent my frustration. I can pay for lessons, but I can't perform. I can get really good, but I can't talk about it. I can love the sport, but others will probably continue to think of it as erotic, bedroom-only skills.

18 replies

Lyme Lyte · 12/16/2011
I feel ya! At least you have some studios, where I live the closest one is three hours away. How would anyone dare open a "stripper studio" in West Michigan? It is SO frustrating........thank goodness for this site so we can at least learn and support each other without being frowned upon.
dustbunny · 12/16/2011
@Brumby You have 4 studios and a strip club...how can you say you have nowhere to perform??? Talk to the studio owners and organize a showcase or competition at one of their locations, I'm sure one of them would be willing to host. They must have students who would want to showoff what they've learned, and with some advertising it could be a great way to engage the general public and show them that it's not just about what they see at the strip club. :) To quote Trooper (Canadian Rock Band from the 70's), "If you don't like what you've got, why don't you change it?"
ORGANIC ANGEL · 12/16/2011
It really sounds like you want to perform and are taking it out on the working girls b/c they get to exhibit their art. The pole studios are the place to exhibit showcases. Get w/ the owners about competitions and such. There are places you can travel to and compete. It is limitless where your performances can take you, but you have to step out and do some work. No one is going to stumble in from say Cali/Nevada-or whereever and just take notice and put you on Cirque De Solei. You have the power to carry yourself as far as you want. You talk about getting "all tricked out". I don't ever get "all tricked out" to work out. In fact , I never wear make up or anything to the studio. It sounds like you are reaching for more. Who cares what people think it is?
Meleania · 12/16/2011
I bet local bars with poles would be willing to host showcases as well. I went to a pole showcase at a casino that had an 18+ area and the pole studio brought their X-Stage
Brumby · 12/16/2011
@ Organic Angel; I am not taking it out on the working girls. I am not upset with them in anyway. Don't know how you got that from what I said. They are welcome to it, but most of them don't even pole dance. Many of them are amazing performers, nonetheless. Also, it was an aliteration when I said tricked-out. I meant getting lots of tricks under your belt, not putting on shoes or makeup. xo To clarify: I'm cranky about how social perceptions closet our sport in the midwest. But I can see how you thought I was bitching, cause I was. lol. And others are right, I could organize a showcase, or travel to competitions. I just don't have a huge amount of free time in between working, and going to school, and raising my son. We all have our priorities. I guess I'm gonna have to put my love for dance on the shelf until I accomplish a few other things.
tarah · 12/16/2011
hey brumby, i agree with the others - the best way to start performing is to get one or more of the local studios to host talent showcases, or fun competitions with each other. let the studio do the organizing since you don't have alot of free time. i have never had the chance to do anything like a showcase (and i'm not good enough to perform yet) but always thought it would be fun! :)
oldenglish · 12/16/2011
Awwww don't put your passion for dance on the shelf :( I think we all feel the same way about how people view pole dance. I love all of my little fancy sparkly outfits and sky high heels I just have nowhere to show them off :( I wish we had more venues where us pole ladies can show our skills in a showcase setting. I try to educate people on our sport/art. and show people that there is a difference between stripping and pole dancing even though the two mix together sometimes. Some listen and some people you just can't change their minds >:( . Just don't let ignorance spoil your passion for pole
Kobajo84 · 12/16/2011
Brumby, I messaged you earlier on FB about an opportunity to perform- I talked to the organizer tonight and it sounds like she is open to a variety of talents. Just give it time here. There are so many new studios popping up there is bound to be performers wanting to showcase their talent sooner or later. At my studio, we don't have a lot of people in the advanced levels but the ladies are working hard at learning everything and doing very well. We have many performance savvy ladies who are out there doing their thing every Wednesday night with one of our dance troupes that perform already. Have you looked into the Detroit Showcase organized by Charley? Her shows are excellent starters for those interested in performing in the Midwest. Many of us Veeners performed in one of Charley's shows for the first time. It's a wonderful experience and I highly encourage you to take part in the showcase. I'm not sure if she's still accepting entries, will have to consult with her about that???? There are many things in the works here in Indianapolis, right now it's just about knowing the right people and being involved with a local studio. I certainly will keep you in mind when it comes to performances and keep you posted on anything I can work with you on. 😉
o0sair0o · 12/17/2011
I don't hesitate to tell people I'm learning pole dance. No one has judged me or assumed I'm a stripper or that there's anything untoward because they know me. If they thought otherwise clearly they don't know me and so I honestly wouldn't care. And when I'm ready, if the only place I can get out and dance is a stripclub I will (so long as I cam keep my clothes on). If that's where the poles are I'm in. I guess I just wonder why you're so concerned about what everyone else thinks? What's wrong with dancing in a stripclub so long as you can keep your clothes on (if you want to that is!) and it's not super seedy? And don't you think that maybe you have the power to help change people's perceptions about pole dancing by being open about it and maybe getting some of your friends to give it a shot? Just some thoughts, I hope you get whatever opportunities you're looking for :)
Charley · 12/17/2011
Registration for our Spring Showcase festival will open next month - no videos or submissions needed spots are on a first come first serve basis. I felt like this a few years ago when pole was less common and known. I still somtimes have problems with certain types of people but in general I think having on hand demonstrations of what you can do is useful - I always have a video on my phone that I can show people of myself doing things. I spent a good deal of my early 20's radio which means that all of the things I wanted to talk about were radio related and it was hard for my non radio friends to deal with me so I just found a group of friends who wanted to talk shop so when I wanted to do that I could. I really couldn't talk shop with my regular friends because they had no clue what I was saying or why I had the opinions I did - I kind of look at pole dancing the same - there is a whole language that we speak and it's like trying to speak french to an Indian....not going to work unless they are both fluent in one common language. My suggestions is to find more like minded individuals locally and on facebook. I spend more time talking to out of state gals sometimes than I do people locally but atleast I have a platform for which to share. As far as performing, there are a lot of opportunites - you've only been poling for 6 months so you missed a lot of the performance opportunities this last year - but there will be even more in 2012. Yes, some of those opportunities are competitions and I'm not sure you are interested in going that route but that is a chance to be on stage. There will 3 Detroit Showcases this year - we will kick off our season with the Pole Festival which will feature up to 45 performances. There will probably be a midwest pole jam and showcase which will be it's 3rd year running outside of Chicago put on my Empowerment Through Exotic Dance - make sure youa re connected to Mary Ellyn Weissman on facebook to get frequent updates on events she's planning. Ascend is a new pole dancing showcase thing and you can check them out - I think they are by audition only but they plan to do some shows this year too. And the very last piece of advice I have is you can make your own opportunities. I bought an X-stage and called a bar and hence was the first ever Detroit Showcase. You only need one pole and a place to do it. Start contacting places, bands and events to see if they are in need of your services - you'll be surprised how many peiople would love to have a pole dancer for their project and if money isn't an issue you can probably be performing every weekend. (MONEY *IS* an issue for me and I don't perform for free unless it's a pole community event so...thus I don't work a lot as a performer.)
ORGANIC ANGEL · 12/17/2011
In the spring, I was taking 16 credits of school(from 8:30-4 everyday), watching kids 5 days a week(as well as my own), working weekends and still managed to fit pole in as well as beinga wife. I performed until I was four months pregnant and worked out in the pole studio up to 4x a week still. I did this b/c of my passion for pole. All I meant in my earlier post was some motivation. You have to take the power in your own hands. If you want it, and are ranting or frustrated about it, than why not come up with a solution? Many of us here did come up with some for you b/c it is often hard to see a problems solution. I am really confused b/c your original frustration was not being able to exhibit it, and than you say oh well, you'll shelf it? Ummmmmm....I don't know how to give you a boost to what you really want b/c it seems like you don't really want it bad enough to, but you are fine with being upset with it than? I hope you decide what you really want and I back that for you either way, just don't know what it is you really want at this point. (Hope this doesn't sound mean, I am more to the point and I hope that doesn't rub off the wrong way.)
Polecat88 · 12/17/2011
Anyhow, this thread seems to be slipping down the wrong path, best not to use anecdotes.... I def think it would be good to suggest a showcase to any studio you might be attending, they may well leap on the idea if it means publicity for the studio. Might not mean extra work for you! Otherwise there is no harm in waiting a while till you have time or something comes up. You could always have a pole party and 'perform' for your friends. Love xx
nilla · 12/17/2011
I hear ya! There are no places for public displays of pole love in my town, not even a pole studio or strip club. There is a bar an hour away that has a pole that I'm planning to visit, and Las Vegas is a two hour drive away with plenty of options. So I just do what I can. I try to keep a sense of humor and patience when people make the pole dance/stripper comparison. I can't blame them that the only exposure they've had to pole dance is the strip-club form. Although i have seen a lot of progress made, even just in the last year as far as awareness of the sport independent of the strip club scene. People who know I pole dance are always saying things like "I saw this in the news about pole fitness" or "did you see this video on youtube of the girl walking in mid-air on a pole?". So that is encouraging. I do wish there were more opportunities for me to do amatuer performances and more of a local pole community here because that can get lonely, but I try to see that as an opportunity for me. I've started teaching pole parties at a local Zumba studio on weekends. Having the goal of booking parties has been a nice way to share what I love (hopefully in time it can also pay for the cost of the poles! haha, i've only taught two parties so far). In the beginning it did wear me down when I didn't have an encouraging experience for a while and people just seemed to be unaware or unnaccepting, but now I can look back and see the progress. Whatever you do, don't shelve your love of pole! If you want to do it, continue to do it. If you want to share the love, continue to casually mention it here and there as though you would any other hobby. I think there's a lot of power in that :)
Mary Ellyn · 12/17/2011
I agree with the suggestiong to get together with local studios for a showcase. The Midwest has come a long way since I got involved in pole dancing in 2004 and while it was definitely slower in the making, I have seen a greater acceptance grow among the general community. While there is still some stigma attached to it the majority of the world is starting to understand it's not about stripping but about performance and skill. As Charley said there has already been many shows within the Midwest. She has hosted several shows in Detroit. I have hosted two pole showcases in conjunction with the Midwest Pole Jams in the past two years and there is another big show coming up in Chicago in January. (Glitterhips is hosting this one - Pole Goes To The Movies) as well as a couple of others I am aware of that are in the works across the Midwest. Are you affiliated with a studio yourself? Most studios have some sort of pole performance for their students in addition to the regional shows I've mentioned above. Of course there is also the Great Midwest Competition coming up again in August if you wish to compete. However, another thing to keep in mind is that any shows are a huge cost not to mention a major time-consuming project to host so there just won't be a whole lot of them to chose from at any time. My own events have varied based on the scale of the event anywhere from a few hundred dollars for a student recital to over $20,000 for last year's Midwest Competition.
Mary Ellyn · 12/17/2011
I hit enter before I completed my train of thought... I don't believe that the apparent infrequent number of events has as much to do with lack of acceptance within the pole or the non-pole community as much as the cost and time required to host shows and find places to host them which doesn't cost a fortune or where poles can actually be set up for use.
ORGANIC ANGEL · 12/17/2011
@ Empyrean-Wow, who knew a venue could even cost that much! My hats off to all that set up and support such events for us ladies! Thanks to all that host and work behind the scenes as well. Really wish there was an edit button sometimes lol, hope my stuff doesn't sound too firm! Really just want to support you! Good luck.
Mary Ellyn · 12/17/2011
It's not just the venue as there are many costs to something like adding workshops, needing to purchase extra poles/stages, flying in judges or guest performers, event insurance, etc. Though the venues we looked at in the Chicago are ran anywhere from $3000 per day to $10,000 per day ...and the cheaper ones just nickle and dime you on the things included in the more expensive ones. Local bars and theater are asking $500- $1000 to use their venue for events for an evening even though they are going to make money off the guests purchases of food and beverages. The cheapest rental we've experienced is our local park district rooms for about $65 an hour...and you have to include set up and tear down in your rental time.
Kobajo84 · 12/17/2011
I live in Indy and I don't think there is a lack of performance opportunities. Like everyone said, a lot of it is expense and many are within studios. In two weeks my students will be having their performance night. 😀 I'm really excited! Most of the events that are pole performances here are private events. A lot of the events I've been asked to do have all been private parties and events if not within the actual studio.