Teaching yourself "flow"

Runemist34 started this discussion · 5/6/2013

Hey everyone! I know that this subject has been tossed around here a lot, but unfortunately, none of the threads really seem to do it for me- I can't seem to get the answer I need from them. I've struggled for a long time with trying to find "flow," or that illusive sexiness that I so desire with my dancing. I can get moves, sure, and I continue to work on more and more moves, even transitions and simple dancing. However, I don't seem to have that... umm, how do I even explain it? That sensual quality, the put-together-ness of a dance, the connection between dancer and music? Kind of all and none of those? I'm reminded of The Birdcage (if anyone has seen that movie!) where the flamboyant "maid" explains why he's not ever allowed in any of the shows: They're afraid of his "juatamaleness.(spelling??), my natural heat." I want THAT! lol So I suppose my question is... how do you teach yourself that? How is it taught in classes? I know some people have "sexy flow" classes, or something similar, in their pole dancing studios... what do those classes entail? There aren't any around here that I can take. My boyfriend suggested just taking a whole bunch of dancing classes- doesn't have to be pole dancing, just ANY dancing. I used to enjoy belly dancing, and he said I could start with that... and improve that which I'm looking to improve. What do you guys think?

26 replies

Krista Bocko · 5/6/2013
Is this helpful? http://missdrusilla.com/tagged/answered
Runemist34 · 5/6/2013
Sort of! I do freestyle a lot, but it never seems to get further than a few tricks... and I end up fairly grounded for the whole thing. Nothing but the most basic spins and poses, and almost no moves that require much strength. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong with that! There are many more powerful moves that I could use with ease, but I never seem to do so. It's very... repetitive.
Dwiizie · 5/6/2013
Do you ever feel genuinely sensual as you are dancing? I feel like my "mojo" is completely thrown off if I'm trying to remember moves, poses, ackwardly "trying" to be whatever sexy is. But if I FEEL sexy, and I allow that to burst through, and embrace it, that is when my dance is fluid and sensual. If I feel any shame of it, I can can kick it right out of my frame. Owning my space, myself. I do picture an audience of adoring beautiful people often lol. Put on the raunchiest song, musically or lyrically that you can think of, and dance with RIDDICULOUSLY suggestive, tacky, overtly sexual moves. Its a freeing experience.
Cherished · 5/6/2013
I'm not a natural dancer at all. I'm getting better with flow from repetition only. I've gotten into the habit of putting together mini combos of about 3 moves each during practice that I do over and over. Now when I do routines I kind of thread together those combos and the flow looks better because I'm so used to them.
Cherished · 5/6/2013
Oh also I do Rhiannon Nicole's online sexy flows which help very much
Runemist34 · 5/6/2013
Dwiizie: That... actually sounds like a fantastic idea ;) I've felt sexy now and then while dancing, but... it comes and goes ;P I'll have to give that a try! Cherished: Could you send me a link to the online sexy flows? I love Rhiannan Nicole! And I've been thinking I should try to put a few moves together in my own way, and practice those... I suppose I've been being bad and putting it off, though. I'm going to kick my butt and get on it!
ORGANIC ANGEL · 5/6/2013
Hi Runemist34- I'd like to point out a few different things so you have a few things to work on. First you say you want to work on that sensual side, "flow" ,and illusive sexiness. Sexiness is different for everyone. For example if you are doing a little dance for your partner, no special trick is really gonna floor him more than just being you. Smiles, everything long and drawn out-extrememly slow etc. You can use some props like gloves, a tie etc. to help you too. Try doing ONLY floorwork for a specific amount of time every week. Floorwork can be just as sexy as any power move you are thinking of on the pole! Connect with your music. Are you playing music that you can "feel". If you aren't into it, it might be time to switch it up. There are different moves I play to work out with pole than I'd play to do a sexy showcase too. Next, work on your transitions only. How are you getting up from the floor? This also can be just as sexy as a combo on the pole. Are you inverting? If you are, try doing as many things as you can after your warm-ups in your work outs and you'll build strength each week to do more and more. I looked at a recent vid from me two years ago and could only do 1 or 2 moves before coming back down. If you are at this point, that is Perfectly OK. Don't beat yourself up! You will build more and more:) Try everything super slow from coming down on the pole, to inverting slow etc. Smile and remember to breathe. Have a good time with it. Let us know how it goes:) Maybe we can get into chat on Friday's and play together via webcam on here. I am a certified teacher through Pole Moves:) Veena also always offers great feedback. Good luck!
Cherished · 5/6/2013
Here you go Rune http://www.premierpoleonline.com/ (go to classes/all classes/sexy flow There is a fee of 20 something per month but you have access to all the classes
Lina Spiralyne · 5/6/2013
Regarding what you say about not seeming able to fit in strength moves in your freestyle, could you maybe try to change it by picking out let say two of such tricks (that you know you can do solidly) beforehand and decide for yourself that one of them have to be performed sometimes during the first half of the song and the second one during the second part of the song? And apart from that you can do whatever comes up in your mind. Just an idea :)
tacha666 · 5/6/2013
My friend and I have a fun game: we wrote down all moves we can do. Then we pick a song and one of us is freestyling to it. The other one picks a move from the list which has to be executed. It doesn't have to be the next move, you can add just as many things in between as you like, but you have to do it before the song is over. That way you get to do moves you otherwise wouldn't think of, and it helps to get stuck and not knowing what to do next. And it let's you get creative while you dance!
Veena · 5/6/2013
If you have the lessons you might want to try out the new Routines section. I've put things together including interesting arm and leg movements for you to follow. You'll really get a feel for how moves can flow from one to the other. The best thing you can do is, practice, practice, practice!!! 🌸
Paunobs · 5/6/2013
For me i need to feel the song and get lost in it.but yes it is practice, i too feel like you and because i have next to no back bend I feel like i do not look nice and slinky but i just keep doing the best i can. and dont compare, accepting your own style and movement is an important thing.;)
anngiern · 5/6/2013
I agree with organic angel....just spend some time only doing certain things. I challenge my students to do a whole song with floorwork only. Or a pole dance with spins only or strictly aerial for 2+minutes. I have found that when you "limit" yourself then that is when you become creative!! You are forced to think outside the box because of the "limitations". That is the way I come up with new moves all the time :) Also taking other dance classes like modern, lyrical, etc...will definitely help. Those types of classes are all about flow. And Rihanna Nicoles sexy flow lessons do rock. I subscribe to that as well. She truly does have some unique tranisitions and if you can take class with her in person you wont be disappointed. Every time I go to L.A. I take classes at her studio. And the best tip....you have to practice a few days a week. Even if its just sensual dance, wall moves and floorwork and no pole (in case you are physically tired). I highly encourage my students to dance in dark room with candles and red lights, turn your music WAY UP so you can hear and feel every beat. And don't go in with an agenda. Just marinade in the moment and enjoy yourself. It is very freeing and liberating.
katalyzed · 5/7/2013
I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I feel like the more you practice, the more you get a feel for what moves seamlessly follow other moves. I plan on actually writing a routine to a song in a few weeks. Maybe eventually I won't need to write it and it will just flow. Transitions and floorwork seem really important to grasp. There are a lot of good lessons here, and I was also checking out the February Floorwork Challenge videos for inspiration.
Runemist34 · 5/7/2013
Sawyer Venm: I have tried to record myself dancing, but it generally turns into a disaster. Between me being hyper-aware of the camera the whole time, and thus unable to relax and have fun while dancing, to my watching the video and being extremely critical of my body, my movements, and everything else that goes with those, I decided to avoid recording for a little while. My self-esteem just can't take it. Though I do understand the value of recording myself dance... I just can't seem to get past criticizing myself for what I look like to get to that point :/
Dancing Paws · 5/7/2013
go slow. Whatever you feel is the appropriate speed, slow it down.
pegasusaerialfitness · 5/9/2013
Slow it down...fully articulate through a move, " watch the movement...which means gaze at your hands or your feet..and when you move think of sliding and drawing circles with your limbs...extend and flex( arch and round) women are naturally beautiful sensual creatures...we don't have to try...we have to "be" crawls are great practice...when you crawl don't start to move the and forward until the knee comes up to meet it...draw a circle with your foot as you pull it forward and your hand as you pull it forward...you will know when it's right because you will feel like a cat on the prowl or a snack slinking through the grass.
pegasusaerialfitness · 5/9/2013
"Move the hand"
portableninja · 5/9/2013
Something that worked for me was practicing flow and mindfulness in other aspects of my life. It's hard to just turn it on while you're dancing if you don't practice it at other times, where you're less concerned about how you look. So the next time you go for a walk, coordinate your steps with your breath. If you do flexibility training, try to flow mindfully from one stretch to another and treat it like a form of dance. Or try tai chi or a "flow" form of yoga. Another good exercise is putting yourself in a position and just playing around. It can be standing next to the pole, on your knees next to the pole, lying on your back. And just experiment. Think of as many ways in and out of that position as you can... and try them all. Don't worry about if they look silly, and don't take videos to start. That's not the point at first. Just get comfortable with the many different ways you can move your body. After a while, you will begin to learn which movements feel most natural for you. The body moving naturally leads to more "flow" than following choreography designed by someone else. Once you know your own body and its preferences, you can choose choreography that suits it, or begin to train yourself in new patterns.
poledanceromance · 5/9/2013
Runey can I also ask how often you are devoting practice time just to freestyle and how much time when you do? I ask because to give you a frame of reference, I'm not a trained dancer and it's been over a year now that I've worked primarily on flow and learned only a handful of new tricks. In fact until recently I had essentially stopped working on tricks or drills/formal conditioning in my practices and spent all my time free styling and recording, watching the videos to see what worked, then tweaking the freestyles to use some things I "found" and liked and incorporating them back into the song, then maybe taking some of those movements to a new song, etc. It can be really hard for me to find that "connection" and in the first years of pole where I worked mostly on technique, I saw no or very little flow progress. I really had to make it my focus to see the results I wanted (and I'm really not there yet, not even close) Anyway if you want to see some of how I learned to improve my flow, in my videos there's two that show the process I described above, I believe they're titled "one song, two ways" and shows how I would do a totally unplanned freestyle and then try to play with the happy accidents. Mayhe trying to work one song a few times like that could help you find the places in the music to play.
Ive8899 · 5/9/2013
Does anybody know the link to that sexy flow Rihannan Nicole's please?
calipolepixie · 5/9/2013
@ive8899 ill inbox you
calipolepixie · 5/9/2013
Girl, I'm right there with you! I can string a few moves together & execute them but to me it doesn't feel or look smooth or sexy. I still have deer in headlight moments & I never really know what to do with my hands & we won't even get into sexy facial expressions while poling ugh! My goal for 2013 is to try & work at getting better at it though, through practice, practice, practice & by attending workshops that specifically teach sexy flow/transition flow. Don't know if it'll really help me but I'm going to try my hardest at it!
calipolepixie · 5/9/2013
Wanted to add that in my area there is cardio barre & bar method which are both like ballet, pilates & yoga all mixed together, which alot of pole gals that went to my studio took & it really helped them gain grace & limb awareness that transferred well when they poled too. I've taken one cardio barre class & loved it, would love to take more & will when I can afford it. I've also heard great things about pop physique, which is on the floor cardio, light weights+ballet barre+pilates, which not only builds your strength, conditioning & stamina for pole but it also helps with your grace & form. Cardio barre & pop physique both have DVDs on the market too btw. But the main thing that has really helped alot of gals I know is taking ballet. At the studios around me the classes they have that help with flow & sexy are titled poleography, pole ballet, poletry & prose.
Mary Ellyn · 5/9/2013
A lot of great suggestions...and it's important to remember that different things work for different people because everyone has different reasons for their block. I advocate the video taping and don't expect that to be successful right away either...video taping takes time to get use to and to not cringe every time you look at yourself. You also have to watch the video several times before you get past that gag reflex! LOL Dramatic movement is helpful - I always tell my students the cornier you feel the better you look! However, I don't think I saw this suggestion, the music you choose to dance is SO important when you're trying to unblock. Don't just pick your favorite song and dance to it...immerse yourself in it for a couple of days. If you have a song you really like, listen to it as much as you can in all your free time...THEN dance to it. You need to really KNOW a song to dance to it with feeling...and know where the dramatic parts of the song are so that you can anticipate them rather than just react to them!

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