Significant Others...

staygold started this discussion · 5/3/2012

I'm curious about your experiences doing intimate dance for significant other.... 1. Do you tend to NOT do athletic pole tricks to keep it sensual? 2. Do you typically ask/tell them you are going to dance for them - or do you wait for them to ask you? How often do you dance? 3. Do you find yourself "expecting" a certain response? 4. How do you handle it when it doesn't go well? Thanks for sharing!

21 replies

Blaque Diamond · 5/3/2012
Interesting questions!! 😀 1. My fiance LOVES the athletic tricks, so I put them in there. 2. No, he just comes in the house and Im warming up the pole 3. I always want him to like what Im doing. So far he hasn't disappointmed me with his response. 4. Can't answer 4 yet. We're in a long distance relationship so I see him every two months.
luvlee · 5/3/2012
I can barely get my husband to watch a trick. He helps, comments , and spots, but he can't watch a while routine. It is ruined as sexy for him. Lol. He comes home to me or more women in our heels sweating and cussing as we flop around trying a new move. Lol!!!!
luvlee · 5/3/2012
If I have asked him to watch something and I can tell he is distracted, I just tell him it is ok and never mind. I just keep going and he gets back to his show or whatever.
jeaninemarie · 5/3/2012
Luvlee...same deal with my fiance...hes so over it its funny...when he sees its time to practice he goes in another room...he will spot me or occasionally bust out a move or 2 lol but since I see it as a sport he does now too...and im okay with that ;)
luvlee · 5/3/2012
I am good w it too. I have never tried pulling out lingere and a clubby song but I bet that would work if you really wanted to do a dance for him.
daisyheadmayzie · 5/3/2012
My hubby doesn't really care much about my dancing. It's just not his cup of tea. He will watch me if I ask him to come and see a new move and he is supportive and complimentary of my efforts, but it doesn't turn him on. At first I was hurt by this, it really bothered me. I asked him to explain why he feels the way he does and was surprised by his reply. He said that he gets "turned on", by things that I would never think about, like the way I smile or some of my mannerisms that he thinks are really cute, the way the light hits my face when I'm lying outside reading a book. Bottom line - overtly sexual moves just don't get it for him - he's not 15 anymore. I was really touched by his explanation, after many years together, I never had such insight into this subject before. Every guy is different, just like us women. I have girlfriends that adore the big muscley "male stripper" beef cake types of guys, that's what gets them all hot and bothered - for me, those types of guys are not sexy. I don't want some oiled up sweaty dude trying to grind his banana hammock speedo up on me at a batchelorette party - lol. If that's what floats your boat - hey, more power to you. On the other hand, give me an Edward Cullen type and it is a different story ;) Just for the record, I actually don't think RPat is that hot, but the way I imagined him to look like while reading the books (long before the movies came out) he was rather yummy in my mind;)
chemgoddess1 · 5/3/2012
I have not danced specifically for my husband. He has watched me practice many times and has almost dropped weights on himself watching me in my booty shorts. HOWEVER I have performed a few times and he is like a proud poppa. I will say that he enjoys the way I move my body now when we go out dancing though....
Felisha · 5/3/2012
Great questions. The first time I danced for hubby he kinda asked. He said it's been almost a year why don't you dance for me? I said idk I will soon. Kept planning and never happened due to the little love. (our daughter) one day I realized she's asleep perfect opportunity. I was nervous as hell! Lol I put a sexy outfit and told him to choose a song. He did we had candles and I danced. He liked the eye contact. The slower sexier moves. I did basic spins lots of floor work. Since then I've danced alot more for him. It's still sexy slowish music and yes he still likes the sexy dancing but he's really starting to like the advanced tricks and wall dancing sometimes he doesn't see my new tricks so when I dance I bust them out and he gets amazed. Really contact your inner stripper, lol after the first time I wasn't nervous anymore and it was fun more of a tease. But if ur just starting I say be spontaneous and stick to what u knw and are good at I've found inverts during a dance aren't sexy lol not for me at least because I huff and puff totally up to you but if YOU feel sexy it will radiate to him good luck!
PixiLouBell · 5/3/2012
ive done one, total strip for my hubby he loved it, keeps asking me to do it again but i jus love doin the tricks!! but im sure i will do it again sometime to make him happy hehee
PixiLouBell · 5/3/2012
ya i did zero tricks in the dance prob why i didnt care for it and dont care to do it again lol
HotelChick · 5/4/2012
I'vebeen been doing this for a year and my hubby has watched me a couple times just working on tricks. I had him spot me once and then just did a little dance for him afterwards. I threw a few tricks in but mostly danced. Afterwards I asked him what he thought. All he could remember was the tricks. He said it looked painful. I said, "I was going for pretty. Didn't it look pretty?" He said, "Yeah. Pretty painful." So that's that I guess. I'm not offended. I know he thinks I look best in a white tee and jeans or wearing my Carhart jacket and shooting a gun. I know how to get to him if I need too...lol!
LillyBilly · 5/4/2012
My BF always wants me to dance for him, and he thinks it is sexy no matter what I do (sexy dance or tricks). Wenever I come home and tell him I learned a new acrobatic trick he wants me to demonstrate it. The problem is that I am very self concious about my dancing, and the fact that it turns him on actually bothers me, because I'm too embarresed and can't detach myself from this thought and concentrate on what I am doing. In fact, my BF has always been very supportive no matter what kind of physical excercise I take, but I think he is special in that sense; He is really into workout and martial arts (this is how we met), and actually likes very muscular women, so he even thinks that it is sexy when I do push-ups because my muscles get all pumped up and my veins are showing LOL! :)
poleclimber · 5/4/2012
I dance for my hubby 🌸. He definitely prefers the spinning, dancing, etc. He is impressed by the tricks, but his favorite is just movement. I recently put on a show, and I told him there aren't going to be any good tricks because I am not warmed up and this pole is cold. His response was, "Good - I love the booty shaking and hip grinding!" I will also show him new tricks when I figure it out, and he is always impressed. I think most men are just happy to see you moving around for them. They are not as critical as we think they are.
JeHanne · 5/4/2012
Agree that each person is unique and they may or may not like a personal dance. You can ask your SO if they would like it... or you can surpise them with one and see if they want more. If your SO isn't into it, respect their opinion but know you are a rockin' babe regardless of their interests in your awesome pole dancing addiction! I keep it sensual with a few flexibility or strength moves, honestly it is based on how I feel at that time. My SO likes everything and anything... he even likes to take a peek when I am doing my stretching routines. (I practice in private because I do not want him to see the gritty, cursing, sweating, out of breathe side of my pole sessions). I do not dance too often for him, he never knows when it is going to happen. I try to leave my expectations at the door. Of course I 'want' him to think I am the most captivating, amazing dancer EVER... LOL... but it is healthier for me to not place my viewpoints and expectations on another person. I can not control how someone will interpret a dance. Poleclimber is right on, "they are not as critical as we think they are". If someone is going to pick you apart or criticize you after you have shared a dance... they have lost the entire point of the gesture you are making. Don't even spend a single thought worrying about if it doesn't go well, or if something goes wrong etc etc etc. Regardless of what happens... recover and get back in your game! Fall? Get back up. Get tangled in your clothes? Untangle! Break a heel? Take the other heel off! Forget your moves??? No problem... fill in with a sultry walk, pose or transition until you think of another one. This is your dance, have fun with it!!!
ORGANIC ANGEL · 5/4/2012
haha, getting your man to watch when you are a pole addict is HARD! I can't even get mine to watch when I perform! (He went out to smoke a cig when I was up! Ha-) 2.I always beg him! 3.I EXPECT him to jump at the chance-but he just isn't as enthusiastic about pole. 4. It always goes well. I usually make it only walking towards my pole and he can't keep his hands off anyway....I usually get better feedback from my instructor about pole b/c the men just don't understand how long it takes us to get the moves and how much strength takes us to do things. He saw someone elses trick one day and he asked if I could do that. I was like "oh my gosh-you don't watch me at all!" It's all about confidence when it comes to pole with the men. We can just stand there or walk around it and they are like "damn...my woman's on a pole!"! Have fun and don't worry.
SashaMae · 5/4/2012
My man also enjoys more dancing than tricks. Still, he is very impressed now that im advanced. My warmups for every practice include throwing on my heels and freestyling to 3-4 songs (usually the first 2 are slow, last 2 are fast!) He loves watching my warmups, then when it's time for the panting and grunting part of my practice he goes into the studio to play music lol. My cool downs are usually 1 slow sexy, flexy song. He loooves when I drop down into splits with my heels on ;)
GG357 · 5/4/2012
-I do it all, dancy stuff and tricks, I think the athletic part of pole can be sensual too. Definitely more sexy stuff in there when it's just for him and no one else. Usually try to throw something new/different in too. -if it's just for him, I usually surprise him. Dim the lights, throw on some music, & put on a show for him. Even though he was never into strip clubs, he loves when I pole at home for him. I'm sure he likes knowing the effort of it is just for him. -he is awesome at cheering me on in public as well:) -I don't think it has ever not gone well. Not that I'm perfect, but if I make a mistake or anything, we can laugh about it and continue on.
Velvet Minxxx · 5/5/2012
I work in the adult industry and I can tell you just by talking with a lot of guys. If a mate does a dance at home they want them to take to stripper level. Yes they like seeing the tricks but it's the heels, the costume's, booty shaking, and everything else. So get dirty ladies wooohoooo
Andysk · 5/5/2012
So far I have not, being a married male… 1 I would love to do both, but feel tricks would be more appropriate… 2 I don’t think I would ask or tell, it would just be do…. 3 No, acceptance would just be fine… 4. Doesn’t go well is probably more the norm, so just keep practicing Love the slightly more erotic side, and clothing options, would love to be able to do more, possibly professionally (little chance at my age…)
XxMyztikxX · 5/5/2012
You can do it all. I know people who think the trix are sexy as hell bc there lookin at a sexy strong ass woman.
Former member · 5/6/2012
If I'm dancing for a guy I don't worry about much because let's face it- they're simple creatures and 99% of the time don't even notice when I mess up, I tend to do a lot of floor, wall, lapdance type stuff. The pole is for me :). They should be happy I'm dancing for them in the first place! My ex wanted me to do a dance for him once so I started and he had the AUDACITY to look away at the tv. The dance stopped right then and there and I walked out of the room refusing to speak to him for a good 15 minutes LOL. It's a privilege and a gift to dance for your guy, I think anyways! I always warn them, "no touching!" and if they can't keep their grubby hands off then I take their belt and tie their hands up....which is a sexy kind of torture that they love. I'll only do a dance if he's earned it or if it's a special occassion like a birthday or something like that.....and I EXPECT to see the tent rising if you get my drift!!!! :) Wow, I sound like a little bitch don't I??? 😀