OMG... WTF

Forever Young started this discussion · 12/12/2011

I have just had the WORSE pole session ever!!!!🙁 After feeling like I was making so much progress in the last few months, I seem to be back at square one. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and last week had an awful flare up (particularly bad in my one knee) so after consulting with my rheumatologist I went on a large dose of cortisone to try and reduce the pain. I have not poled now for 2 weeks tomorrow, as I have been trying to let my body recoup and my knee has just been way to sore. Today I decided I needed to get back on the pole and put in a little bit of practice before my class tomorrow night. What a nightmare! I could not do anything... and I mean anything (ok, I did manage to walk around the pole). I found I had no strength in my hands, upper body, abs and worse of all I could not grip at all. I was sweaty and even with my itac I could not hold any position for more than 1 sec. I am so disappointed and despondent. I actually don't even feel like going to class tomorrow as I know what we will be working on (our class consists of girls who are all at the same level) and I just think I will make a fool of myself as I will not be able to do anything. Today I could not even do a pole sit. I am finding more and more moves that require grip between the thighs to be completely impossible. Either I sweat too much between my legs, which is gross 🤮 or my flabby thighs do not have the strength required. I tried dropping my hip, rolling my knees together but nothing helped - I just slip down and down and down.... Some days I really feel like I can conquer pole dancing and other days (like today) I just wonder if I will ever get it! I want to teach and have been going to teachers classes but how can I possibly teach when even the most simple moves evade me at times??? Self doubt and disappointment, that is all I feel when I think about my pole session today. I have a 50mm ss pole (the same as the studio) and today is not the first time I feel that any move that requires me to grip between my thighs is just impossible. I have bruises there (and stretch marks as I am sure you all already know) so I am squeezing for the life of me - but I still can't stay up! Slide right down, slowly slowly slowly. I am sorry this is sooo long but I just needed somewhere to vent my anger and frustration at myself! What am I doing wrong? Is it silly for me to even contemplate this journey with my age, RA, weight etc etc? What was I thinking would be the most pertinent question that comes to mind right now.... Anyway, thanks for listening 🌸

15 replies

Kobajo84 · 12/12/2011
Don't give up, stay strong. Just remember not everything will come easily to everyone. You have a special circumstance with your RA and that presents an obstacle. You will have to take things at your own pace and cater it to your needs. My Grandmother suffered with severe RA which was onset at the age of 14. She loved gardening and was a very active woman that persisted with her passions even though she was often in pain or limited in her mobility due to the disease. On days like the one you're having, these are great days where you can refocus your progress from doing tricks and moves on the pole to working on your dance flow and transitions and flexibility. This is something I've had to be faced with presently as I began training in Aerial Silks and have experienced the common side effect of joint pain/swelling in my hands- which has been so noticable that I haven't been able to wear my wedding ring in a month. Just take your time and don't get discouraged. Listen to your body and it's limitations and just know you will get to your goals, it's just going to take you a longer but so worth it.
bambi9 · 12/13/2011
I have"slippy" days too where I can't grip due to sweaty legs 🤮. I have found a dose of antipersperant prior to dancing put in the areas that are gripping and right under my bum help me not slip quite so bad. The results last about 1-2 hours so if you are dancing longer, you may need to reapply. Good luck.
Lyme Lyte · 12/13/2011
bambi9, care to share what brand???? Thanks!
PaulettePoles · 12/13/2011
I can completely relate- I have lupus and when I have a flare- I can do nothing!! I remember feeling the same way- but it did get a lot better! Dont give up!! If you cant stick to the pole on a certain day- do floorwork! You can always do something to improve. You can work on elbow stands and planks and plows... sooo much that will translate to the pole. Have you tried Veena's strength routine? You dont need to "stick" much to work on that which will also really help. Amy's blog has a chart of all the grip aides too- finding the right one for you may be a big help also. I knwo I need different combinations of tack on differnt days- all sorts of variables. EVERYONE has those slippery or weak days. I knwo w my lupus I dont have a choice but to give my body a break when I have a flare or it just worsens. ANyway- my point is not too long ago, I had a flare and felt the same but I did what I could and still saw lots of improvement. From my slippy days- I have now gotten my handstand (on the wall). Look for what you CAN instead of whats not working at the moment. :)
Lyme Lyte · 12/13/2011
GREAT reply PP
bambi9 · 12/13/2011
Lately I have been using mitchum clinical. It feels kinda sticky when you put it on
Lyme Lyte · 12/13/2011
Thanks bambi, i've been trying hairspray. Going to pick up some Mitchum and Aquanet!
DoodlebugDances · 12/13/2011
Hey there 40andlovingit, I can totally relate to your frustration. I find that the weak before my period, I'm really weak so I can't do any power/stamina moves and then when I'm actually 'on', my body temperature goes through the roof and I'm slick and sweaty. My boyfriend has even noticed the change in my "pole moods" when I change from uber positive to down in the dumps about my lack of strength. All I can say is keep going and be patient with your body. I realise that this isn't easy but, as the others have said, take the opportunity to work on your flexibility or just watch pole videos to keep you inspired. Don't despair about how this might hold up your teaching. You WILL get through this and your experiences will help you to relate to your students when they're having a hard time. Turn to your teachers for advice about sweatyness/grip. Your thigh grip will improve with time. If temperature is an issue, have you tried a cool pack between your thighs before you practise your pole sit to cool you down and limit sweat? I keep a towel to hand to wipe myself down too - gross but it goes in the wash after each practise session. Stay positive if you can and don't give up! Xx
Danielle Tillie · 12/13/2011
I remember crying after a few practices because I couldn't work on anything due to sweat and an overall weak feeling. It's normal to have those days! For the sweatiness issue, I have a few suggestions, as I am a very sweaty pole dancer myself. On days that I plan to pole, I avoid all diuretics, like caffeine, soda, coffee, and sodium. Diuretics increase the rate at which water leaves the body, via urination and sweat. Also, drink plenty of water in the day before and day of to stay properly hydrated. Finally, my favorite antiperspirant product is Tite Grip. It works wonders to keep my hands from sweating and you could use it on your legs as well. Keep your chin up and keep on poling! :)
JeHanne · 12/13/2011
You are being WAY too hard on yourself. Yes you can pole with RA. Yes you can pole regardless of your age, your weight or your current fitness level. Wherever you are at right now is PERFECT. Pole is difficult and that is putting it mildly. It is so rewarding though and the beauty of it is we can always work on improving something. RA can be extremely aggressive or mild, people can have remission. You will want to work closely with your rheumatologist to manage the disease. When you are in flare work with your doctor to manage symptoms. You may also need to manage side effects from medications too. You may end up with a team of doctors and if that is the case, that is okay. Just take it one day at a time. Regardling pole... we all have off days. Even healthy people have off days. When you are done with your off practice, or class or day... vent... then get focused on your goals. Go to class! If you are comfortable with your instructor you may want to share that you are dealing with an RA flare and let them know the affected joints. They may be able to provide some modifications or suggestions to the moves. Definitely don't give up!
Forever Young · 12/14/2011
Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. Class last night went way better than I thought. My instructor seems to think my issues with my pole are that it is still new and not "danced in" enough... I might try some waterpaper on it just to roughen it up a little and take away some of the shine which directly translates to slippage. I also bought some tite grip last night which seems to help me with the sweatiness and slipping. I have itac but due to the humidity here (and the fact that I sweat a lot) I don't think it was doing me any favours. I used the tite grip in class and it seems to work way better than the itac. I am also going to try the anti-perspirant trick that Bambi suggested. I figure if I try them all I will eventually find a comb that works the best. Luckily for me I have a great Rheumatologist who is very easy to talk to and unlike most doctors she actually listens to what I have to say and the way I feel. Not too long ago I found I was putting on so much way even though I was eating properly and excercising (I had not found pole yet). She listened and changed my medication to something that might not have such a big effect on weight gain and it worked wonders. I was feeling so depressed and the more weight I put on the more depressed I felt. My instructor also knows about my RA so on days when my hands just can't grip she is incredibly understanding and I know I can just go at my own pace. One huge disadvantage of my RA is that the medication has effected my body temperature - I now sweat just thinking about excercising 😕. My temperature seems to be broken, I have the fan on full throttle all night and my man lies under the duvet chilled to the core!!! On a positive note, because I was unable to do anything on my pole for the last 2 days without slipping I started working on the reverse handstand and I got it. I showed it to the girls in my class last night and it was awesome.... it felt sooo good. I was even able to let go into the inverted crucifix which I could not do at home. I am just glad to know that I am not the only person that has off days. All the girls in my class make it look sooooo easy and here I am battling along. On my next bad day I will think about all of you and take to the floor or do strength workouts. You guys are awesome ❤️
Piaketz · 12/14/2011
Oh girl, I'm sorry to hear you went through a bad flare. I was out last Monday too, my leg was acting up. I have silks and lyra today and though I'm better, my fingers are feeling stiff and funny so I'll still go but will take it easy. Having RA we all have our bad days, but they go away in time. Don't be hard on yourself. If your joints don't work, they don't work. It's not your fault, and you'll bounce back in time. And be careful, forcing yourself to do it might cause you another kind of injury. I know I've done it a few times because I was just too stubborn, hehehe. When I'm totally out and can't do stuff, I go online and look at inspiring videos, or listen to songs that I think would be cool to dance to. And uh... I go online shopping for pole outfits. :P You can still always stretch and work on your flexibility when your hands are bad. :) My teachers all have been very understanding, and when I say I don't think I should try a trick, they are ok with it. They know I work hard on my good days. But aside from telling your teacher, have you told your fellow classmates? I used to be embarrassed when I couldn't catch up before when I didn't know the girls so well. But now that I've explained it, everyone just takes it in stride when I sit certain tricks out. Most girls are very understanding. I have super sweaty hands, (not my whole body like you). I actually went to a dermatologist about my sweating, and he gave me some pills to take on the days I will need them. The pills are not perfect but they help (I don't want to do Botox). I also get pain in my fingers and can't grip well if the pole is too cold, so sometimes I wait for the other girls to work on them and warm them up so I can go haha! At home sometimes I blast my hairdryer on it. Don't know if pole temp is affecting you? At any rate, I still like the 45 mm poles more for my own safety coz they are easier to grip. I know you want to work hard on the 50mm :) The main thing is not to stop, and just keep on going! :)
hrhlaura · 12/15/2011
Heya sexy lady - Don't stress we gonna have an awesome pole jam and sort your home pole out! Promise I will whip it into shape for you ;) PS the girls in class are super impressed by the reverse hand stand. Don't stress about them you can do stuff they can't do and they can do stuff you can't. Hell you can do stuff I can't! Focus on what you can and slowly work on what you can't. And while you at it - teach me some of those awesome moves too! Mwa
Forever Young · 12/15/2011
hmmmm, hrhlaura, what you doing here? Now where am I going to vent about my instructor??? 🌸 Damn right that reverse handstand was awesome.....worked hard at it! I wish I could do moves that you girls can't, but wait, in time - all in good time. gummypia - I think getting the other girls in my class to warm up my pole is a great idea 🥂 If poles were not sooo expensive I would definately consider a 45mm but just laid out quite a bit of cash for the 50mm. Anyway, I am battling with my thigh grip and I believe a 45mm is harder for leg grip so I guess both have their disadvantages. I am gonna just work with what I got for now, try all these tips from the other Veeners and see how it goes. Another question for all you ladies: do any of you use the grip aids from mighty grip. I am thinking about buying the ankle protectors with tac as well as the upper thigh protectors with tac. As well as the pole gloves with tac. I am not sure how useful they are though so any feedback would be good! Obviously I don't want to use them forever, but for now while I am battling I would like to see if they can offer me a little more grippiness so I can try some new moves. Take care everyone and thanks for all your advice. hrhlaura - see you later!!!!❤️
RoseMay · 12/15/2011
I have the mighty grip ankle protectors and gloves with tack. The ankle protectors I wear for every session - they are a really great help for climbing. Especially when I was starting out my feet were costantly bruised and I couldn't climb (or wear shoes without pain!) for days. With the protectors I barely bruise my feet. By now I do know how to climb safely without them, but for practices they are really handy to have :-) The gloves I never use, I wish I had gotten the ones without tack. With the tacky ones I can't move my hands at all as soon as they are on the pole and replacing them it almost impossible. I actually got stuck two times and had to jump off the pole 😀 (f.e.: after a wrist sit I couldn't move the hand from under my bum) They don't even help on spinning mode, because I just can't move my hands. Even in a simple spin on spinning mode the hand gets twisted around in a weird and sometimes painful way .. So I'd get the ones without tack for the hands :-)