not really in the news but....

Miccalicious started this discussion · 7/20/2010

My mom sent me this link today about a "mom" forum she uses and a discussion brought up about poling. And WOW!!! did I get a good laugh. My mom thinks I should post my two cents but I don't even want to get involved. Since I (1.pole, 2.own (or a better term obsessively collect) Playboy merch and 3.have some outfits/shoes that can be termed "stripperish?) I must be so limited with my options in life and lack education. Sigh. 😂 here is my favourite post. "Well, since you're asking... The whole poledancing thing seems to me to be part of the whole women-buying-into-men's-objectification-of-them. You know, playboy merchandise, huge fake breasts, stripper fashion, etc. Bizarre imo. It's like these women are really going all out to maximise what they see from porn/stripper/lads mag culture as attractive. Usually it's women with limited education and options in life. Also, I'm sure quite a lot of women who poledance for money dont see it as "fun" or "amazing for fitness". Do your children see you do it? If I saw one somewhere I'd just think it was tacky, and that they weren't smart enough to have thought it through. That's just my opinion. Bit humourless tonight, I'm afraid. " 😂 and these are people responding to a nice woman talking about getting her first pole !! A happy,joyous occasion for us all!! AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH this shit just makes me laugh!! People are soooooooo close minded and well stupid. THAT IS ALL!! *edit* COMPLETLY FORGOT TO POST THE LINK!!! http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1004469-to-have-installed-a-pole-dancing-pole-in-my-living?pg=1

40 replies

chemgoddess1 · 7/20/2010
Posts like that make me think that the poster is not educated nor has enough brains to think through what they just wrote....
poledanceromance · 7/20/2010
I suggest sending the original poster a private message apologizing for the others reactions and sending her our way (to studioveena). Let her know there's a place where people are proud of her for taking a first step toward improving her life and doing something amazing for herself.
minicoopergrl · 7/20/2010
maybe those with close minds should have closed mouths as well. IM a a mom and a pole, dont see a problem with it. If moms happy everyone is happy! If i was buying into what my husband finds attractive, I would have no makeup, my hair would be a mess and I wouldnt wear all the cute stuff I have. He likes the girl next door look.
Jenn · 7/20/2010
I suggest sending the original poster a private message apologizing for the others reactions and sending her our way (to studioveena). Let her know there's a place where people are proud of her for taking a first step toward improving her life and doing something amazing for herself. I 2nd that!
Miccalicious · 7/20/2010
i agree. I think I will and wow ladies I was so worked up I didnt even post the link!!!! here it is. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1004469-to-have-installed-a-pole-dancing-pole-in-my-living?pg=1 UGHH!
horsecrazy12987 · 7/21/2010
Jeez. 🙄 What a bunch of close-minded people. I don't think any of us are that surprised, though, are we? Pole dancing still has a long way to come--while it's more mainstream now, many people still think of it as a dirty activity and automatically assume you're some kind of wanton slut if you do it, regardless of if it's in the privacy of your own home or in front of an audience, and regardless of what you're wearing/not wearing. The part I don't get is why women will jump down someone's throat and scold them for thinking they're 'empowered' by pole dancing when really they're just making themselves into a sexual object for men and that they must be some kind of idiot. Some women never dance for a man, and only do it in the privacy of their own home--so how in the hell are they just a sexual object for men? I have danced for my boyfriend a couple of times because it's fun dressing up and having an appreciative audience, and he enjoys it as well, but the vast majority of the time I just dance for myself because it's a way to have fun and challenge myself at the same time. I'm not hurting anyone else, and when I perform for my boyfriend, it's a performance between two consenting adults who have been together for over three years, in the privacy of my living room--why that's wrong or, frankly, anyone's business is beyond me.
megs982 · 7/21/2010
You know, im on page 3 of this...And i can't help but laugh at some of these close minded people. I mean REALLY? maybe i just made the ppl around me shut up real fast when they realized i wasn't stripping on my darn pole..but these ppl MY GOSH...I just sat there with my mouth wide open for most of that 😂 I should go on there and say i let my 7 year old daughter climb my pole. my daughter doesn't know what a stripper is..hell they have poles at the flippin playground..and kids play on them all the time WHO cares..sry getting into a rant..off to read some more 😂
Layla Duvay · 7/21/2010
This just roasts my potatoes! 😈 Some of our most accomplished female artists have danced, shall we say, erotically: Mae West, Josephine Baker, Anais Nin, Gypsy Rose Lee (her own MUSICAL for gawd's sake!) and Diablo Cody, to name some of my personal heroines. And yes, I know all about the assertion that we've "internalized our oppression" and this is supposedly proof of it, blah, blah, blah. These women lived life on their own terms and live by their own lights which I don't see as a condition of being oppressed. JEEZ!!!! I loved that comment about closed minds and mouths, btw 😀
horsecrazy12987 · 7/21/2010
So this is my favorite new anti-pole comment--it's actually not from that forum, but was a commen I found on a youtube video of a pole dancer on Britain's Got Talent: She had to really desexualise this routine it was boring. Don't believe the lies the poledancing industry tell you. Most women will NOT end up as good dancers,? and many who get into poldancing, having had it marketed to them as "artistic" will end up in clubs, probably in prostitution. I have seen better routines in national championships. I have seen the inner workings of the poledancing industry and they are liars. They are like pimps, getting women into the sex industry by omitting truth. 🙄 So I bet all of you evil, nasty, depraved pole studio owners have sold all your students into sexual slavery, haven't you? I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I've had my pole about 10 months now, and I am most definitely a prostitute. (Well, not yet, but maybe in this economy... 😂 ) Seriously, what an idiot. Obviously she's never been around anyone in the pole dancing industry.
amcut · 7/21/2010
LOL. That one is the best, Horsecrazy! I like it when they sound like that, because they're so obviously insane. It makes people think, "...maybe I'm being too hard on pole dancing" because they don't want to be like the obviously insane man.
horsecrazy12987 · 7/21/2010
Yeah, I can't even get pissed at comments like that, because they're just so ridiculously stupid. I agree with you and think that it's probably actually better for the pole community in the end, because sane people will see that and go 'Um, this person is anti-pole and is clearly two dead brain cells shy of a coma patient, so maybe I should give it another shot.'
Dayanara · 7/21/2010
Laughing.My.Ass.Off. That is all.
minicoopergrl · 7/21/2010
I had to stop myself from reading on. That crap really makes me mad.
nymphdancer · 7/21/2010
ok I want that 10 mintues of my life back. I could have done something much better with it then read the twaddle of some women who are obviously so closed minded you would need a stick of dynamite to open it back up. The pisser of it is if I commented I'm sure I would get nailed to the wall for being one of those trashy americans whose opinions don't mean squat because we are all overtly sexual..... 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈
sosagely · 7/21/2010
These women disgust me. Never in my life have I been so judgemental of another womans choices. What a bunch of female mysogonists hiding behind the label of feminism. Since when does becoming a mom mean you have to be matronly and prudish? The message I get from the "moms can't be sexy" theme in this forum is that women should only want sex to become mothers, once they are mothers they should let go of their sexual selves because they have accomplished their mission. Makes me puke. That and the fact that pole isn't any more sexually suggestive than any other dance I watch on shows like "dancing with the stars" or "so you think you can dance". Some of these comments literally made my mouth drop! So much for the sexual revolution with these "feminists". In my experience, those who point fingers at others claiming they have no sense of self are the ones who need to do a little soul searching to figure out why they need to put others down to make themselves feel superior. I guess it never occured to any of them that some of us might teach our SONS how to pole when they are the big enough. Are we then trying to make our sons sex objects for other men? Ridiculous.
sosagely · 7/21/2010
btw minicoopergirl, I just used your quote as my status of fb. hope you don't mind. "Those with closed minds should have closed mouths as well." 😀
Veena · 7/21/2010
I signed up and posted my thoughts LOL 🤓 🤓
nymphdancer · 7/21/2010
. Since when does becoming a mom mean you have to be matronly and prudish? The message I get from the "moms can't be sexy" theme in this forum is that women should only want sex to become mothers, once they are mothers they should let go of their sexual selves because they have accomplished their mission. Makes me puke. . when I turned 40 the other year my sister told my niece (my sister is 11 years older then me my niece 11 younger) that "I hope now that she is 40 she will start dressing and acting her age, after all she is a mom now too!" 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 🤮 🤮 🤮 👎
Miccalicious · 7/21/2010
Wow ladies this really just stirs me up. I actually didn't know there was more then ONE page of this shit. Now seeing you guys post that there are more pages i'm off to read!! WOW!!! Oh well im off to go play on my pole, and later I will be on the corner of Higgins and Main trying to make ends meet if anyone is looking for me..... agh the life of a pole dancing prostitute. *sarcasm haha 😁
poledanceromance · 7/21/2010
Posting again after having read it all. My $.02: 1) feminism is about choice and about teaching us all the places in which things that are normal or not considered sexist in our society have been shaped by misogynism. Ideally, feminism relates this to the post-colonial world at large, and shows how the dialogue used to subjugate women is the same "us/them" dialogue that subjugates many groups of people for who they are. And the funny thing about subjugated people is that subjugated people can't help but have the oppressor dialogue become part of their own culture. So all this is about choice. A womans choice to own her culture however she chooses, by being a stay at home mom if she wants, a career woman without kids if she wants, a pole dancer if she wants, or a prostitute if she wants, but only if she wants, and that she deserves to not be assulted for her choices, because they are a result of who she feels she is-something she can't change. So all these women who think that being a feminist means covering yourself in baggy track suits and sewing your vagina shut after you have kids really need to crack some damn books. 2) so many people told the OP that she deserved 11 pages of flaming because anyone who is proud of pole dancing should expect to be publicly harassed by hundreds of people. That's like saying a woman deserves to be raped if she is proud of her body and wears a miniskirt and heels to the bar. 3) I lost count of the posts saying "go to the gym like a normal person." I.e. How dare you pursue a method of fitness in privacy. You should be paying to work out in public where you can show off your progress properly. Or worse, they told her she was "flaunting it" by having it in the living room, the one place it beat fit. They act like having it in the living room = dancing naked in the street with neon signs pointing at your naked body and cameras broadcasting it to childrens TVs. 4) no matter how many times she said "I'm doing this for me" they said "you're doing this to be looked at by men." when she said "I'm doing this to get toned" they took issue with the word "toned!" FFS!!! She just means she wants to be toned but not bulky! Such nitpicking! She could have told them she was a nun in a convent with a private room and a removable pole dancing aerobic style to showtunes and they still would have told her she was just a man-leeching attention whore. The language all these mothers are spewing at this woman is not only hateful, it's dangerous. Every day, these moms are reinforcing to their children the idea that a woman is always a sex object whether she wants to be or not, and any lecherous attention she receives because of her gender is to be expected and tolerated. Even worse, that it is deserved. The point is that no woman deserves 11 pages of hatred for her choices, as long as they aren't malicious. That was probably $.04, but whatever. Freakin buttholes. *Edited to fix a few typos.
cali · 7/21/2010
dear me well i do hope i dont come off as rude mabey i took this wrong or may need to re read it again to make sure i got this right but ummm,,, well im a stripper and i completley dissagree with what you have to say. i dont think it is tacky where i work, sure there are tacky clubs out there but mine just happends to be a very nice place. every girl that i work with love there job it is like getting paid to do something that we do for fun anyway. We ALL see it as fittness and empowerment and as for the outfits it makes it fun! its not about being SEXY. i get to show what i can do all the time, think of it as a pole jame every time you go to work. and my kids do see me on my pole hell as bad as it may seem to some of you they know a lot about it and how to do it. my kids see me in my shoes and sports bra with shorts. it is only something bad if you allow it to be. im not a tacy person by any means! nor are any of the girls i work with in the last 3 clubs. mabey i just have good luck thow i dont know. i think alot of people are closed minded more so the people that think it is not a sport and is trashy, not you im sure about that. so there we stand sorry just had to put in my word. 😀 😀
horsecrazy12987 · 7/22/2010
I finished reading the whole thread last night, and here's the way I look at it: it's no wonder their perspectives are skewed when they've got their heads that far up their asses. Everything looks way different when the sun don't shine, ya' know? I didn't see one intelligent argument against pole dancing. Most of them went something like this: When a woman pole dances, she's not empowered because she's turning herself into a sexual object for men. All right, well how about the men who pole dance? Or what about the women who have never pole danced in front of a man, and only do it in the privacy of their own home with no one else watching because it's fun and makes them feel sexy? Also, empowerment is a personal thing. What is empowering to me may not be empowering to someone else. Something that makes me feel good about myself and makes me feel like a strong, capable woman is an empowering activity, for me. That same activity may not necessarily be empowering for someone else because we're all different, but an outsider can't tell me what should and should not be empowering to me. That's for me to figure out. Pole dancing leads to/is just another form of prostitution. Wow. This one I think really takes the cake. I think this is the case of the shoulders actually entering the ass as well as the head. Last time I checked, prostitution was the act of exchanging sex for money. What in the hell that has to do with pole dancing, I'm not even going to venture a guess. Several of them also made the assumption that someone who has a pole is low income, tacky, whoreish, and a little stupid. That's a lot to assume just from one little ol' pole. They must be psychic. Wish I had that kind of power; I'd be winning the lottery constantly. Also, there was a comment made suggesting the OP might as well suck off the postman or something like that--what the hell?! Does the pole have evil powers? Is it secretly influencing all of us to sleep around on our husbands and boyfriends and generally act like porn stars? Did I miss something? I mean, am I supposed to be having orgies in my living room around my pole? I really think these women need to remove the sticks from their asses. They must have pretty stale lives if the thought of some other woman actually having fun by spinning around a tall metal object sends them into frickin' tizzy fits. A pole is really just a pole. It's a piece of metal, not a representation of every single woman over the ages who has been dumped on/exploited by man. Jesus.
minicoopergrl · 7/22/2010
btw minicoopergirl, I just used your quote as my status of fb. hope you don't mind. "Those with closed minds should have closed mouths as well." 😀 No prob! Sometime we have to tell my MIL this. Maybe we should send in out pole testimonials to that post. Its not being the object of affection by a male its the SELF EMPOWERMENT, CONFIDENCE BOOSTER that I love about. I cant tell you how much better I feel about myself when I get comments saying that im pretty hot poling ( 😳 ) Veena, could you tell what you posted there?
Veena · 7/22/2010
Here...nothing crazy they the others on that thread....this is why I love SV ladies your not nutso! 😂 😂 Put up that pole and have fun! I am a happily married mother of 4 boys. I have 3 poles up in my home...a pole outside in my back yard, one in my bed room and another set up in what was our living turned studio!!! I am the owner of the worlds largest online pole dancing website.....I have been an ACE certified personal trainer for about 9 yrs and POLE DANCE is the BEST workout I have ever done!! Pole combines Strength, cardio and flexibility and if you choose, you can get your sexy on but its not a must! I respect all forms of pole dance...ART, ATHLETIC and EXOTIC. My kids play on my poles all the time, we have even done a dance together! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vCkyjxm1Hk My kids watch me practice some times, to them its a piece of exercise equipment...I just keep the sexy stuff for me time. Its your home...hiding the pole will only make it seem more devious than it really is!! We use CHAIRS for sexy lap dances and sexual chair routines but we don't hide all of our chairs in the house because SOME people do naughty things with them. LOL Its all about your perception. I chose not to hide what I do, there is no reason to. Pole dancing moms ROCK! Its a pole and its not a big deal.
horsecrazy12987 · 7/22/2010
😂 Veena, I haven't seen that video yet, and I have to say I was giggling my butt off through the whole thing. Your boys are all really cute, and they're pretty good on that pole already! (You better be careful though, or they're going to grow up to be sexually exploited by men. It's not their fault, it's that damn evil pole and it's no good dirty slut vibes.)

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