Its Become An Obsession

minicoopergrl · 2010-04-05T10:47:39+00:00

As my husband put it. Yesterday I was talking to him about Pole Convention and how excited I am for alot of it. I even told him I was impressed that Jessalynn got corp sponors. He looked at me and told me "you know I could really care less about pole" 😢 Yep thats what I started doing. He totally hurt my feelings about it. yeah, I could care less about nascar but at least I let him watch it and actually listen to what he says. So after 20min of me sitting at the kitchen table alone, sobbing, he comes back. He tells me it seems like the past few months all Ive talked about is my MINI and pole, that ive got no interest in him. He said its taken over my life and I need to get a grip. He doesnt like the fact that when our oldest doesnt have school that I go and practice or film a new video instead of getting the kids right away. He thinks that I make pole more of a prority than my kids (this is where an obvious eye roll would go). The only reason ive been talking about the MINI is b/c it needed a whole new transmission and its the only thing I promised myself out of life. If you only you knew how bad my MINI obsession is, just come to my house! lol Its like if its a hobby that requries me to be outside of the house w/o the kids, im not allowed to do it. Same basic principle why I gave up on Mary Kay (for now). Its like Im not allowed to do anything on my own, my kids have to be included. Personally I find this unfair. Pole/Gym is my only break from the kids (besides work, but then again he works too). Ive given him plenty of chances to go and do something but he refuses. He says he would rather watch nascar ALL WEEKEND LONG than go anywhere b/c he can still parent the kids and watch all at the same time. So my question is, does your other half think youve taken pole too far? Do you have a compromise? How do you balance being a parent and getting a chance to pole?

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ShonaLancs · 5/4/2013
I thought the same about MMA until I got into it and watched it for a couple of shows, now I appreciate the skill and technique in the same way I appreciate it in pole. But if you don't know how difficult it is to do mixed martial arts (I tried jui jitsu for a few weeks) and fight for that length of time then you do just see it as violence and machismo. My fella is one of the least aggresive men I know and has never even had a fight with anyone ouside of the MMA ring. I am a pretty open minded person, so unless my fella decided to go Dexter on me I think I would be ok with anything... As for the pole thing, I dont think the stripper thing is a valid excuse for partners because if you see anyone do pole, unless they are overtly sexy in their manner you can see quite clearly that it is not stripping and is not remotely sexy when you are learning. Bruises, swetaing and gallumping up a pole is not what I would call sexy lol... I just think that basically anyone who wants to pull you away from your passion doesnt have a passion so doesnt understand how important it is to you. If they aren't willing to get on board to at least try to be involved / understand why you are so passionate etc then I wouldnt waste my time with them personally. But I am very black and white in my tolerance of others...
vickiezoo · 5/5/2013
A couple of years ago my boyf then now husband also had me in tears saying i was more interested in pole than him. It really does becone an obsession! but he was just going through a tough time at work and vented it on me. Everything is fine, i still pole 2-3 times a week sometimes less, i also perform with fire which means i need rehearsal time for that too, i always make sure we have time together.
JBStarryEyedGirl · 5/6/2013
*Update from 2010 - fast forward to 2013: My boyfriend is now my hubby. =) I finally got good enough to become a competition finalist, and he not only came to support me, but drove me to practice the night before, gave me great pep talks, and even brought a guy friend to cheer me on too. After all the hours and dedication and love I poured into, he learned to love it for me. And he is the most incredible partner, encouraging and supportive, he is my partner in our new pole studio. Maybe now I can get him to do some private classes with me! Lesson learned, what you love becomes part of your relationship. Your actions and reactions will determine what direction you decide to go, whether is it alone or together. The main issues are a simple matter of love and respect, just because you don't "like / enjoy / understand / care about" your significant others choices doesn't mean you can't "let them enjoy it / be supportive / be encouraging". If something is important to you, it will be important to them because it is important to you. *Side note: also an ex WOW player =)