I seriously need some words of encouragement!!

stephnicoleex3 started this discussion · 5/13/2013

I am ALREADY thinking of taking down my pole. It's been two weeks, I saw a little bit of improvement strength wise at first, and now nothing, I'm at a standstill. I was doing the 30 day take off, and I found I was just dreading the workout every single night...because that's all it was, a workout. I completely understand that you need the strength to be able to do pole, but I guess I was just hoping there'd be more strength gaining BY poling. I've only tried two things on my own, which are the pole climb & pole sit....I still cannot get them & am still terrible at any and all spins. I just feel discouraged, because it's not fun. It hurts really bad, I haven't learned anything yet, yes I have gained a little strength...but that's it. Plus, it takes me at least 15 minutes to get my lil mynx pole from spinning back to static. It is right now stuck on spinny, because I don't know the "proper" way to get it back to static....unless I am using the proper way & my pole is just messed up or something? I just can't get that little screw back up. I've tried screwing it myself, I tried using a screwdriver....and it's not working. Ugh. I'm sorry for the vent, I'm just feeling so discouraged & so mad at myself for feeling this way. I'm just frustrated with it all. EVERYONE told me not to get a pole & thought it was the stupidest idea ever because they thought I wouldn't stick with it...and I thought that they were going to be wrong, but it seems like they were completely right. Two weeks & I don't want to continue anymore :/.

52 replies

Autumn Sky · 5/13/2013
The beginning is going to be hard, especially if you are starting out with little upper body strength. If I had not taken classes at a studio, I probably would have given up too, but I am so glad I didn't. IT IS A WORKOUT. It looks beautiful and pretty but a lot a training and strength building goes into it. I didn't learn how to climb the pole until 5 months into poling. Then it took a few months to get it down. Do not get discouraged. I know you want to jump in and do all kinds of cool stuff, but I highly recommend doing the moves in the order Veena has them. They are in an order for a reason. If you trying moves you are not ready for, it is only setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. Okay, this probably doesn't sound encouraging right now, but if you keep at it, I promise the pay off will come! We have all had to push through the frustration, soreness, bruises, and sometimes pain. No matter what move you are working on, whether the pole sit or iron x, the same determination is needed for both. You are not alone.
Scooby · 5/13/2013
Hi There - This is my time posting to anything on the site, but I felt I had to say something. I totally understand how you feel. I am a plus-size woman with little upper body strength and I got a lot of discouragement from family when I told them I wanted to try poling. I take private lessons and even though it is the hardest thing I've done, I wouldn't stop doing it. I am blessed to have a very supportive friend in my corner that pushes me when I feel like taking short cuts. She has saved me in so many ways. I am in the middle of Level 3 classes and there are moves from level 2 that I still can't get. Most of the one-handed spins are still impossible for me to do. It is hard, but keep at it. Everyone learns things at a different rate, so you have to keep that in mind. I learned the pole sit almost instantly, but I still have issues with performing a front hook spin. I am still working on my upper body and hand strength even now. Trust me...it is hard, but take it slow and before you know it - you'll look back at this moment and smile at how far you've come. :)
Lyme Lyte · 5/13/2013
Nothing says u have to do the 30 day take off. Just dance w the pole and do whatever u find fun! I was just like you.....almost took my pole down. But I got SV lessons and started to learn some spins etc. She didn't have the 30 day take off back then. Also it was a huge thing for me to get a big mirror so I could see proper form. Don't give up yet, but if ur not liking ur regiment right now, change it up! The 30 day take off is only a recommendation, not a requirement.....especially if your getting frustrated w it.
Sassypants · 5/13/2013
Girl-- I'm with ya. When I first started poling, everyone said "build your strength, build your strength" so I went with the Veena strength exercises. That may be the fastest way to build strength, but I'll tell you... I was BORED within 5 minutes! So I said screw that, I'm just gunna throw on some music I love, mess around on the pole, see what I can do and see what I can't, and build my strength the slow way. And not once have I done pole lift repetitions since. If it feels wrong, you're doing it wrong (for you). There is no right or wrong way to learn pole (only safe and unsafe). Dance around. Don't be afraid to mess up and get ugly. If it's not fun, stop and try again the next day.
Lee lee · 5/13/2013
Strength training and conditioning are my least favourite parts of my workouts but I do see a difference from it. One of the things that motivates me is watching videos of my favourite dancers. I know I will only be able to make it further if I train. If you really want to continue with pole dancing, then it might be time to take a mini break and concentrate on things like your freestyling and floorwork? I can't help with fixing your pole, but maybe if you take a video of what the problem is, someone here might be able to help you.
abcollins1 · 5/13/2013
First, you need to realize that 2 weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things. For some one starting out, its going to take a long time to build strength, muscle, and endurance and pole requires all three. Top it off with the fact that you must eat for strength and muscle as well, you do need adequate protein and overall calories. You also need rest, cause that is where the real magic happens. All this isnt going to be pulled together in 2 weeks or maybe even 2 months. I dont say this to discourage, but more to have you see that you are normal. Work on the things that you can, the conditioning, the stretching, what spins you can. You can even take this time to try a dance class and work on dance moves and "flow" I have been working on building muscle and strength for more than 3 years now, its a slow process and im still not to the point i want to be. Its a long hard road, some days are not fun, some days really are work. But nothing comes free. you either put the time into the beginning building a solid foundation to work with, or you say this isnt fun and you give up. The beautiful and pretty part comes because that girl has done it 100xs and perfected it. It only looks easy because they put the work into making it seem effortless. A lot of people underestimate the strength, time and work that goes into poling or building strength/muscle.
azblanco · 5/14/2013
man oh man... if you could have met me almost 2 years ago when i started pole... same boat... blood, bruises, sweat, and lots of tears (for me anyways) i swear on my OWN grave that is gets better...
korinne · 5/14/2013
If you can, find a studio near you to take a few lessons. I think the reason I kept with it so long was the community! Also, if you're frustrated with strength, freestyle and practice flow... I think someone already mentioned that. It doesn't take any strength to turn on your favorite song and dance like no one's watching. You don't need to be doing tricks to make a dance fun.
chemgoddess1 · 5/14/2013
As for your LM, there is a small set screw by where the spin/static button is located. You need to adjust this. It sets the ease of that button. You do not want it too loose so that it can easily be put in spin with just accidentally hitting it, but you also do not want it as tight as it obviously is. I highly suggest you going through the threads here and reading about women who have felt EXACTLY like you. Who said this was going to be easy? If it was it would not be so rewarding! 2 weeks is NOTHING...even if you were going to the gym you would see little gains after only 2 weeks. Not to be a wench, but be realistic. Would you expect to be able to run a marathon with only 2 weeks of training?
Veena · 5/14/2013
If you're using the SV pole it should only take a second to switch from static to spin. I would suggest contacting LM if you're having issue's with your pole. I think I replied with some suggestions, to a similar post from you a day or two ago?? 😉Anyway the lessons and the 30 days are as they are, to allow the user to build the necessary strength and flexibility needed to pole decreasing risk of injury. My suggestion before was to do the "day" then, if you wanted more, to continue on by choosing other lessons, but sticking with the order of progression. Working on pole climbs when you are very new to pole will be defeating. Also remember there are other sections you can work on like the routine section!! These are not placed in any particular order, but you can feel free to browse and try any of the "beginner" routines. But only if you were 2 weeks into the 30 days, if you are only to day 5 then wait on the routines until you have a better understanding of body mechanics. If pole dance were easy there would be no need for strength building and proper form. You need to understand the basics in order to protect your body, then you can start dancing around once you have the basics. Even if you don't "do" the lessons for the 30 days please take the time to at least watch them. They all contain very important info for pole, including how to create your own workout or dance routine. Read the descriptions as well. If pole dance were easy it wouldn't feel as satisfying as it does to accomplish a move 🌸
stephnicoleex3 · 5/14/2013
Thank you all! This helped a lot. I figured out my pole and "fixed" it so it is easily changed from spin to static. I always have been one to give up easily, and I was hoping to not feel that way about pole because of how much I wanted to do it. I guess I was just expecting to jump in there & at least be able to do SOME things...which was is unrealistic, and I guess it discouraged me a little. It's just frustrating when I don't see any progress...but I do have to remember that it's ONLY been two weeks. Veena, I do love the 30 day takeoff, there are a lot of workouts that I've never done or have seen, and it helps. I personally just was imagining a more "hands on" learning tricks and spins right away lol, I had no idea...and still have no idea..the "correct" place to start with pole. I definitely need to gain strength, and that is why I appreciate the 30 day. I think I may try and do my own workouts, and incorporate different strength training moves from the days, just so I don't feel so reluctant to do it & feel like I don't want to do it. So, I also have a question for everyone, where did YOU start? What did you start with, and how long did you practice the one specific thing before you threw ANYTHING at all else in? I am going to continue strength training, even at the gym if I can get there, just to increase my upper body strength especially, but I'd really like to do more pole stuff. A few of you are saying I should not be doing pole climbs or sits...and I thought those were one of the first "beginner" things I should learn, so really I am still confused and learning & everything else. What do you suggest I do pole wise? Spins? I've tried a few different floor work things, and with those I've caught on pretty quickly, and am really wanting to do anything on the pole, I want to feel like I'm learning something new along with building my strength. Is this a good idea, or should I just strictly build my strength first. Sorry for the novel, and thank you to whoever reads this lol, and to everyone who has responded :)
azblanco · 5/14/2013
It took me 3 months to climb and most 2 years to have a strong basic invert :) ive mastered my fow, body rolls, and hip circles in between. In my opinion, (and this may or may not offend some people) but I personally think a routine with trick after trick is ugly... Yes the strength is amazing and that blows me away.. But give me the sexy, slinky rolls and floor work in between. Self expression- thats what pole dance is :)
azblanco · 5/14/2013
flow**
azblanco · 5/14/2013
its better to have 1-5 tricks in your bag that you feel comfortable to work towards that is within your range, and master them. Then you can start setting other goals once you reach them. Always start small. I was frustrated when i started and ended up not doing it so often (once a week or every other week). My progress was very slow, but I tried not to think about it and I gave myself props for making any type of progress. Now im at the point that i pole 3-4 times a weekly lately. I dont have my first ever videos of pole on this site... But if you could see them, you wouldnt feel so bad. :) I really hope i could help because I've been where you are
Veena · 5/14/2013
I you're unsure where or how to get started try looking back again at each of the "Getting Started" lessons. They are all located at the beginning of each section. They contain info on much of what you're looking for. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
Sassypants · 5/14/2013
Ok. I am going to share this ONLY to help you out, because it is the most embarrassing video of me ever. This is my routine after 8 weeks of lessons in the studio.. omg... i am cringing over here. If you go to my profile you can see I just finished a year of pole and the improvements I have made are huge. It's slow in the beginning but you get better faster as you progress.. ahhh ok here it is, why am I unburrying this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l7DyVkG4ms obviously, the focus was way more on "sexy" than on tricks. I remember Level 1 was a lot of learning to walk on toes, hair flip, and simple spins like the fireman. It seems so simple but its HUGE in laying the foundation for looking good later.
Dwiizie · 5/14/2013
I personally started trying to do pole holds, tucks, squats, plies, and the "row" style movements with the pole. I also started working towards flexibility right away. I would make sure I DANCE every time I am with my pole. Even if you are just hopping around and not doing any "pole moves" it will be fun and equate your poling with dance and fun rather than "working out". And don't just squat, make it sexy lol. You can slow a squat down, it works your muscles, and it can be very sensual. I DO like doing latin dance, and before I was poling, I was hooping, and doing small things like pushups on my knees (I can do full plank pushups now!) putting my hands on the floor behind me and doing little presses, leg lifts, mainly things I got from 80's exercise videos. I definitely found that POLING is what works the muscles I need to develop for pole. It was really hard at first to know "When I started I could barely do a pushup, now they're a breeze! And I can't even hold my own body weight with the pole..." HAND strength is something I have had to gain. Stress ball, hand squeezy things, whatever just to make sure you can grip the way you want. I did feel like I had to get in shape to get in shape. I feel that way about some other things too, like I have to be fit already to do some things that are supposed to "get you in shape". To do a side plank on the floor was IMPOSSIBLE in the beginning. Its still very difficult. Find variations of things that work for you if you can't do a full move. I love the knee hook side crunch, I feel so cool doing it, even if it isn't a "pole move" exactly. Stick with it, you will be amazed with yourself if you just give it a few more weeks. 6 weeks at least just to SEE and FEEL definite changes. If you already are fit and take up poling, or have a background in dance or gymnastics, I think it is easier to progress faster. Its so important to be proud of what you CAN do. If you focus on what you CAN'T do (yet I might add) it will always be discouraging. I spent the last few months viewing my pole as the enemy because I was in a bit of a rut, but I just kept practicing what I can do, going back to basic climb, and that in itself builds muscles. I could not do a climb for the longest time when I started poling, it was at least 2 months probably more. I JUST had my first invert the other day, and I've been working on this for 2 years.
stephnicoleex3 · 5/14/2013
Thank you ladies!! I love reading all of your advise and encouraging words :). I am going to keep up with it, and go slow, and not focus on what I CAN'T do. Sassypants, thank you for that video!! lol. Honestly, that's a lot more than I can do. I cannot do one handed spins, nor can I do body rolls like you!!! But, I watched your "one year" video after, and I LOVED it! Definitely gave me more hope lol. It was awesome! Thanks for sharing :)
Sassypants · 5/14/2013
I learned one handed spins the week before! You'll get there!
chemgoddess1 · 5/14/2013
Keep track of your accomplishments. I remember the first time I had girls climb and how they never thought they could reach the top of the pole, and then a month later they got to the top, and then a month after that it got easier. The strength comes quicker than you would expect but it does, just be patient with yourself. I have been at this for over 5 years and there are moves I have been working on for YEARS. But I still love pole and am constantly amazed at the things I am able to push my body to do. 6 months from now you will look back at this thread and laugh at yourself.
Runemist34 · 5/14/2013
Hey! It looks like you've got lots of encouragement so far... but I thought I'd add my own to the pile! I TOTALLY know how you feel! I have NO dance experience, and for much of my life, I avoided physical activity like the plague! I wasn't strong, and much of the actual "dancing" I still don't completely get... BUT it's all coming! Since starting pole dance I discovered a love of what I call "alternative" workouts- I go rock climbing twice a week, I pole dance, I love to ride horses when I can... I'm not the go-to-the-gym type! Boooring! And yes, I aspire to LOTS of moves that, sometimes, seem totally impossible. I have been working on the Inverted crucifix ever since I got my basic invert... that's more than six months now! And it's still terrifying, I still don't trust the hold... but I am going to keep trying. One day.... One day I'll get that Jade split, that handspring, that shouldermount. You know I dream about doing shouldermounts all the time? When I started, I didn't even know those things existed. I could barely do a fireman spin in my first week... I had no dance experience, so trying to do anything else than "power moves" felt stiff and foreign. And sometimes I still stick to just practicing my "power moves," because at least I know why I fail- lack of strength or technique, rather than a lack of some nebulous artistic quality. And the dancing comes too. It does... and it's going to improve over your WHOLE LIFE. And hopefully, underneath all the cringing, you feel some excitement in that! Personally, I looked up a lot of "beginner pole dance" youtube videos. Some are crazily cheesy, and some are sensuous and slow, and all of them are totally possible! Give the cheesy ones a try. Give the sensuous ones a try. Everything comes with practice. None of us were born with a perfect body wave, pointed toes or incredible strength. I know you can achieve all of these things!
abcollins1 · 5/14/2013
I too have a LM rotator pole, which i am so glad i went with it! I am pretty sure i also have a video up of me doing some things after only a few weeks. however, i will say that i first learned pole from a stripper round about 10 years ago. I learned nothing of proper form, or safety issues and i was doing tricks i should not have been doing at all. I had no strength and ended up falling out of inverts quite a lot. Im suprised and lucky that i ended up with only bruises. Also, when i picked it back up in October, i had all ready been building strength for years so I had a good base to start with. My grip has always been an issue for me, evn in the weights, so i have been doing lots and lots of spins. I have a few tricks i work on, like the others said to do. I would still classify me as an "advanced beginner". I can do pretty much all of veenas beginner things, and a couple of the intermediate things, but thats about it. so thats what my practices consist of, all of the tricks/spins i can do, and then a few i am working on, then dancing around having fun, throw some floorwork in there, and stretching and i got about an hour or 2 workout. I do this about 2 x's a week. Now i also take silks and hammocks class, weight lift 4 days a week, plus teach spin and muscle pump classes every week. so there are lots of other things you can do to help you learn pole, but all of them take time. And if you give up easily, then you will never accomplish anything. Maybe look into a way to structure your work out, perhaps like this: Warmup - strength - spin/tricks - dance (fun) - stretch and cool down. Just a suggestion but it may help you feel more like a "poler" and be less boring if you have a plan.
Dancing Paws · 5/14/2013
So, lemme give you my pole story (in a nutshell.) I started poling after a long fitness hiatus, due to college. I could not hold myself up! The first YEAR of pole was just spins. After 1 year I started learning basic tricks like a sit and CAR. I started inverting at this point, but looking back on it, I do not feel I was ready to be inverting. I had a 9 month break off pole, moved, bought my own pole, and found SV, where I picked up from the beginning with the spins I remembered and a pole sit. It took me 9 months to get a half-assed invert. I have been at the pole on and off for almost 5 years, and I am still nowhere near some of the other girls levels, some of them only having been poling for less than a year. We are all different. Enjoy the little triumphs you have! That's how I kept myself from getting frustrated. There are some beginner moves that I STILL cannot do! It does get frustrating. In those times I lose my motivation, I step back and try other things. that is how I ended up with my omni gym and lyra. My pole drive always returns, though.
Dancing Paws · 5/14/2013
Oh and work on floorwork and transitions!
Krista Bocko · 5/14/2013
Hi there, welcome to pole! My pole path has been pretty 'stop and start' and 'on my own', so it's quite a bit different than most who started in a studio and/or with this site. To answer your questions...where did YOU start? What did you start with, and how long did you practice the one specific thing before you threw ANYTHING at all else in? I started at home and didn't step foot into a studio or meet another poler IRL until 2 years ago. I didn't have a plan really, only a list/dvd of beginner spins and some pictures and descriptions of more intermediate moves, such as climbs, sits, inversions, etc. I started with spins, and I only knew a few so I got really good at them, lol. Same thing with everything else, I had a very limited repertoire. I didn't know many 'pole conditioning' moves per se, but so often our pole moves are conditioning moves anyway. BTW, my pole girls start prepping for climbs after 3 months with me and start climbing/sitting at 4 months. I really stress to them to be grounded FIRST and why that's important. If you think of pole in 'phases'...the first phase is long. Or it seems that way to students. It's acquiring strength, body awareness, appreciation of the difficulty, patience, learning to move in a circular way which is so different than what we're used to...it's an important foundation and I do not like to rush through that phase, because to do so means missing out on some important things, and in the grand scheme things it's not really that long overall. :)

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