I Just Can't in Class =(

ladylannae started this discussion · 10/19/2016

For some reason or another I have a hard time achieving anything in class, I know its mostly due to my social anxiety. I do my best to step out of my comfort zone and (away from my pole at home) in order to be among other Polers. Only problem I can't seem to be able to do anything in class because I just can't get my grip together. (Literally) I become a little too sweaty, making it almost impossible or safe to attempt any of the tricks displayed in class. I use as much grip aids as I can in order to control the issue,(I dryhand the hell out of my hands) I even bring in a large towel to dry myself off. But yet I still can't get it together, which leaves me walking away feeling like a failure, and not really wanting to return. However (and heres the funny part) when I return home and retry the tricks from class I find that I'm able to do them. Which begs the question "Why even bother going to class?" However I do know the answers; like I can't learn everything on my own, and that its good to step out and be around others. But I just hate feeling left behind. Ugh!

6 replies

hannimator · 10/20/2016
Are you me?? I have the exact same problem! I can do stuff at home with relatively no problem, I don't struggle with grip (apart from spins for some reason) but at the studio I seem to sweat buckets. I try and look at going to class as a place to learn how to properly execute tricks (even if I can't do them at the time), and also time to catch up with/make friends. Unfortunately I have no other advice aside from that, so I'll be watching this space! xx
Sacred Geometry · 10/20/2016
We are trying hard to be perfect for our teachers and in front of our colleagues. Don't sweat it- u learn a lot, and you take home your new learning. That is golden. P.S. I always do my best moves at home, on a crash mat, so I don't give the studio teachers stress. Eventually, when I'm confident, they find their way into the studio, I know the instructors are trying hard...many students....if I can make their life less stressful, I try. It works out in the end.
LatinPoler · 10/20/2016
My case is not that extreme, but I can relate anyway. The combo in person/at home is what works for me the best. It goes in both directions. Sometimes, I learn a move in class first. It probably won't happen that day, but I can practice and take advantage of corrections and spotting, get a sense of POCs and technique, and then practice at home at my own pace. I supplement the in person training with Veena's lessons, so I can get all the nuances. The good thing about the videos is that you can replay and stop as desired! Then, maybe the next day I go to the studio, I have that move down. Other times it's the opposite, I learn from Veena first and then, when I'm taught a new move at the studio, I can grasp it faster because I was already familiar with it.
Veena · 10/20/2016
Getting anxious in class can totally make your hands sweat more! One thing I urge everyone to keep in mind, there's no level that anyone needs to reach, there's no move you HAVE to learn or do if it doesn't fit you. Pole dance can be enjoyable the beneficial at any level and the only person we have to out do is ourself! Even if you never invert you can still enjoy pole and create beautiful work.
cgs1961 · 10/21/2016
Wow...I feel your pain! I don't have the sweaty hand issue but I do feel like such a dork in class and am much more relaxed at home practicing by myself. It happened to me again last night in class. Was asked to freestyle for a minute and felt like a deer caught in headlights. Kept telling myself to relax. Couldn't think of the many moves I've been taught and can do...ugh! When does this get better?
Eileen Villagran · 10/28/2016
I read your post last week in my email and I was waiting until I had some extra time to answer it because it really resonated with me. I've been doing pole for 1 year and 10 months (January 23,2015) and I like to consider myself successful with my improvement and with the goals that I set for myself in pole. I can do expert moves, deadlifts, I regularly train with 10 inch heels, I do swing pole as well and I don't have a gymnastic background. In the total of 22 months I can only recall having been frustrated only once. This was one year ago, when I was still unable to handspring even though my guy friends (that started at the same time as I did) had already gotten this trick. What exactly makes me successful in pole? I know that I am skinny, short and I already have my splits but although it has helped that's not what has made me improve so much in so little time. My approach and my immense love for pole has been what has made me improve. Not a day goes by that I don't think about pole and it has been like that since day 1. I once had a teacher tell me that the fun in pole really started after 6 months when the neat tricks and you gain the strength but I never felt that. I ALWAYS enjoyed it. Pole is the only thing that I really do for myself, that I feel makes ME the best that I can be and it connects me with other people that love it as well. I spend so much money on pole clothes, shoes, I even bought a stage pole that I take out on the weekends with my friends and my dog. Because of the stage pole I connected with people that do lyra, silks and the swing pole and often times we have two different apparatus setup for all the different aerial arts. But this doesn't happen from one day to the other, like any other skill or relationship. There was a time that I would slip and that even spins were awkward (and often times it still happens) but I take it one day at a time because I know that if other people can do it, I can do it. You know how I got my handspring? I stopped trying it, I worked on other stuff and a few months later when I came back to it I had already gotten the strength for it. I got it without all the frustration of doing it day after day and not being able to get it on a consistent basis. There is so much that you can work on pole without having to feel inadequate; there is fluidity, floor work, stamina, flexibility, strength and spinning pole. IN REGARDS TO SWEATING: We all sweat if we are nervous and we sweat even more when we are starting out and in places/poles that we aren't familiar with. You need to take a deep breath and give your body some time to counteract the fight or flight response. I would suggest that you slowly limit your use of grip aids (gradually). You won't aways have access to it, you might runout of it when you need it the most or even leave it at home. I always bring my own alcohol and I clean my pole but only a handful of times (usually if I get some of my deodorant on the pole). Your hands and your grips has to get stronger and with due time it will. To fasten this process, I used to press a foam stress ball about 10 times each day and it helped me. I have a monster grip now and it's because I use different poles of different sizes and different materials. I don't really have calluses in my hands because for the most part, you get them when your hands are very dry. Be patient, this doesn't happen from one day to the next or even in a few months. I can't even imagine what it will be like in a few years, the only thing that I worry about is getting an injury that will prevent me from doing any pole. Make sure you rest well and eat well. When you are not doing pole, you can be watching pole, thinking about music that you are going to dance to, be doing light stretching or be filling out a pole journal with the moves you want to accomplish, work on or have already gotten. So be patient, don't jump into the pole, don't attempt a move just because you have a spotter and don't overdo it. Don't expect immediate results or for a move to be perfectly executed like your instructor does it (she probably has done it for the 200th time). Without a doubt, classes are always better than training by yourself. Even if the class isn't challenging you can make it challenging; wear shoes, do more repetitions than necessary and work both sides. Training at home doesn't have the same rhythm because we take breaks, we drink water, eat snacks, check our phones, we probably don't work both sides as much, the temperature isn't easily adjustable and the pole isn't our preference necessarily. I do just about all my moves on both sides but I freestyle on my left. When I train with friends and by myself I mostly freestyle, so that is definitely somewhat lopsided. Not to mention that seeing a move executed live gives you a different angle than the camera and makes you look for key points that tutorial videos usually end up explaining to you. So you also earn a different visual skill. Probably the most important thing from a live instructor is that they can quickly assess your level and give you a move that is within your reach. I am very active in my Instagram but for one, the moves are executed very fast and second, it's not easy to determine the level. With time you are gonna learn what you body can do but when you see an expert do something it is very misleading. I think that there are two types of people at pole: those that look at a move and think they CAN'T do anything and those that think they CAN do everything. I know that I'm the type that thinks they can do everything. A lot of times that's not the case and that's ok. So i'll write down the move on my journal or I'll forward the video to one of my friends to save it and I'll try it at some other time. My pride doesn't break so easily. I think about all that I can do already, the fact that I though I would never be able to dance (because I always wanted to be a gymnast and I though I was too old to even start) and I found this that it is much more fitting for me. Lastly, the more time you spend on the pole, the more you are gonna improve. That is undeniable. My local gym has pole classes 3 times a week. Last year I signed up to two actual studios and added 2 more classes in the week to supplement. Then I stopped the extra gyms and kept to my regular one. Just two weeks ago, I signed up for another studio and I added about 2-3 more classes per week to my regular training. I don't get sore or bruised as much as before. But I do notice muscle exhaustion sometimes around my hands (due to my grip), my bicep, my lateral muscles of the back and even my foot. To work on my feet, I'll go on my tiptoes kinda like Kate Winslet did in that Titanic scene. One thing that is always in the back of my mind when I'm poling, is to not put strain or fall on any ligaments or tendons because they don't heal by themselves. Your skin will heal fast and your muscles will heal but your shoulder(rotator cuff) won't heal easily or your knees or your ankle or your wrist. Women have soft shoulders and moves like the handspring and the phoenix are very strenuous on our weakest link. I got the phoenix about 6 months ago and fairly quickly but I felt a pull on shoulder and it didn't hurt but it didn't feel natural either. I know that if there is any distraction or a slip that could be detrimental. So don't do something just because you can do it. Be conscious about your shoulders so train for it, don't overdo it and keeps to moves that don't strain it. Give your body ample time to rest. If you had some kind of soreness or injury give it much more time than needed for it to recuperate (if 2 weeks go by and it doesn't hurt, just give it another week just in case). Then return back to your level but gradually because you are no longer at the level you were before an injury or a soreness or whatever it was. You might think you are at the same level but you are not and that is when injuries (you no longer have the same tolerance). Hope this helps for now and the future. If pole is something you really love, keep going because it's only supposed to fulfill you, nobody else.