Finding your own style.

MissChiefNYC started this discussion · 11/30/2011

I've been poling for just over a year, and yes, I've made a bit of progress, but I'm not satisfied with my evolution. I'm coming to accept that I'm not going to be one of those graceful pole dancers, or the super athletic ones, I just want to find my on style. How did you find what worked best for you? At what point during your poling journey did you say "this is my style, and I'm happy with it!" ? I'm feeing quite discouraged......

21 replies

distracted · 11/30/2011
Never say never! A year is still a short time in the grand scheme of things. To me, being a good dancer means having the ability to evolve and being brave enough to step outside your comfort zone. I believe pigeonholing yourself into a style will stunt your growth as a dancer and as a performer. I've been poling for over two years and I'm just starting to explore my own creativity as opposed to copying other people. I'm always the cute and perky type and that's how all my friends see me. However, in my last performance, I blew a lot of my friends away as I somehow managed to pull off a "sexy and seductive" style. I don't believe them but we'll see once I get my video. What I'm saying is that you can always try new things and people are very receptive to change. Think about it, you don't want to watch a performer expecting a certain style. You want variety and you want it to be unpredictable. At the end of the day, I say just do whatever feels good for you. If you want to add in a graceful move, then do it. If you want to throw in some hip hop 30 seconds into your routine, do it. Don't let anything get in your way. Dancing is a great way to express who you are and you're more than one adjective. If you think too hard about picking a style, you're losing perspective of the performance. Style is something that will come through your personality and the way you choose to present your skills.
JeHanne · 11/30/2011
Please do not be so down on yourself. I agree with Distracted... "never say never"! It's okay to not be 100% comfortable with your progress... but its more important to set your sights on a plan to get to those goals. I do not have a 'style'. I move in ways that make me feel good, that feel natural to me. It is always changing. One thing I do focus on regardless of the movements are basic body mechanics like pointing toes, the lines that are being created, not having limp arms etc. When I started pole one of the things that really helped me was searching videos and finding a handful of dancers that appealed to me. Give that a try to see who your favorites are... do they have similarities? If so... that could be a clue to the style you are drawn to. Then try to recreate some of their posture, movements or expressions, see how it feels on your body. Focus on the movements that feel right for you. There are as many styles and facets as there are performers. Let your personality shine! It seems to be a lot of experimentation and goal setting but is a very personal journey. Think of a flower opening. You can have a dozen in front of you and each flower will unfold its petals in its own way and at its own time. In the end you have a dozen gorgeous patterns of petals and colors to enjoy. Just let yourself bloom as is right for you, let us know how it goes.
hookedonpole · 11/30/2011
I can only answer based on my pole journey. I jokingly mentioned to a friend years ago about finding a pole class (never anticipating I would). Also had it in mind ALL pole classes are about sexual/sensual dance due to what I'd seen on TV talk shows, etc. I ended up finding a studio with an intro class and went for the heck of it expecting it all to be sexy/sensual (my friend didn't end up going). This studio turned out to be pole fitness, with a little bit of sensuality. I LOVED it. I've always been active at a gym and fitness, so this was a wonderful new way to work out. There's nothing wrong wish sensual pole dance, it's just not for me, basically any dance with pole doesn't seem to fit me 😕 In other words, knowing the reason for poling, I think, leads the way to what you do with it. You'll see most of my vidoes and practices are strength and fitness oriented. I've attempted some pole dance, variety, and challenges, but I know it's not my focus and don't spend time with it. If pole dance is your desire, then finding music that fits you and your pole journey (which is my dilema, being comfortable with music for pole). If it's fitnesss, like me, then working on things and developing strength to accomplish something new or work at improving is rewarding. Sometimes I find that I'm doing the same thing over and over, which is okay because I'm still working my body and getting exercise. Do I wish I could progress and learn more, yes; but I make effort to be patient (even though I do get frustrated). I've been poling for 4 years and have progressed slowly during that time, but have progressed. Sorry I babbled and hope I said something helpful. Enjoy "your" pole journey and accomplishments. Things do happen in time and when you least expect it, which may also include your style.
Scubalina · 12/1/2011
Hey I feel exactly the same been poling for 6 months and progress is slow especially compared to some people who are doing Ayshas and jade splits by this point! So for me it's more about just dancing at this point kinda going with the flow of the music not worrying about the level of tricks in my dance etc. I think when you stop worrying your dancing is beautiful anyway even if the tricks or flow aren't perfect... This attitude works for me and makes me confident even though I know my dancing doesn't compare to a lot of other people! Xxx
chemgoddess1 · 12/1/2011
This comes from both music exploration and self exploration. There are songs that I love and would think would make a great dance but when I play it for poling it just seems strained. Then there are songs that I would never have thought would work and I totally lose myself in. Those are the dances that I try to remember and figure how my body is moving. It will reveal itself to you once you shut down your brain and stop trying to figure it out.
polergirl · 12/1/2011
One of the keys to developing my own style was to experiment with getting into/out of spins and tricks. The tricks themselves vary from dancer to dancer, but there are only so many ways you can do a knee hold. How you get into it, or out of it, can be what defines your style. I tend to dance to slow, sensual music and to hold my poses/tricks for longer periods of time... other dancers rock it out to fast music and look like they're flying. The best way to develop your style is just to dance. And then dance some more. And then.... dance some more! Eventually you'll notice how your body moves and how it makes you feel when you move.
PaulettePoles · 12/2/2011
@scubalina- I 100% agree w you! COnfidence is everything and you ooze it!
daisyheadmayzie · 12/2/2011
I agree w/ Chemgoddess on the music. I've only been poling for a couple of short months, but I've found out quickly that for me - music is SUPER important. Even before I started poling, my music choices have been a really important factor to having a good workout. I notice that on days where I'm tired or discouraged, a song that I can FEEL in my heart will make it or break it. Sometimes my moves feel mechanical or fake, like I'm just copying something and they aren't my own. At the studio, I can't control what music they play but at home, I've made several play lists to match all of my moods (oh so many ;) For me, dancing is about emotion and my music has to have some kind of connection with me or it's just background noise. The emotion is what moves me - literally - lol.
Darby · 12/2/2011
Wow! First, you ladies are so fantastic. I have several friends but frankly none appreciate my pleasure in the pole dancing adventure. I am just learning, have a bad knee that keeps me paced but everything you have all said is so true. It's really for you as a person. So do what you feel like doing (sensual, dancing or not just exercise and fitness). As for me, I too really enjoy the music. It's therapy for me and so I pick songs that I enjoy and combine with workout on the pole. Thanks ladies for being the support group you are.
ginger78 · 12/3/2011
I keep it simple. I move as the music tells me to move. I'm not graceful or athletic, but if the music says a trick or spin is needed then I do it. I'm still learning to let myself go. Pole is a release of emotion and feeling for me. You will find yourself just don't worry about it and just feel.
calipolepixie · 12/13/2011
I've been poling almost 2 years and I still have yet to find my style as well. But for me, I just let my body and the music move me. When I try to think too much or plot out how I should be dancing or moving, it always ends up looking forced and awkward. I also love to dance but am trying to keep a nice balance between pole dancing and pole fitness/tricks. For me, I am concentrating on learning my spins, poses and tricks with a little freestyle, floorwork and transition work here and there. I know that one day when I have everything learned, I will begin to piece it all together, so it all flows but for now, I am just enjoying it, learning and growing and just letting my body tell me what to do and doing what feels right. Just following my heart and soul basically :)
Lyme Lyte · 12/13/2011
I don't think you will "find" your own style, unless you create and learn a particular style. And to me if you are learning others moves, that really isn't your style. In my opinion, you have your own style the minute you get on the pole the very first time. Now I am NO EXPERT in any way. But I have my own way of dance, expression, confidence, music I like, etc. that comes naturally to me. I do dance moves nine months later that I did the first time on the pole. I like to think my moves have gotten better, but still they are many of the same moves that just feel natural to me. I never have edited a video (don't know how) or put clips together. I just turn on the radio and do whats natural to me, what feels right. Some people may think I am wierd, but that is what makes all the videos so unique and fun to watch! Next video I am rocking out to the theme from Hawaii 5-0!!!! Most of you probably don't even know that music.....but it makes me feel good and that is my style. :)
jade s · 12/14/2011
I've been pole dancing for about 2 years, and as someone who started with zero dance background, I totally understand your dilemma. I've taken lessons from about a dozen different instructors, and each one has their own style of dance. What i discovered is that you learn "moves" from watching and learning from others, but that isn't your "style". Your style will come from the way your Individual body moves, and the emotions that are inside of you when you dance. My dancing is ever evolving and changing. When started out, I learned more of a sexy sensual style of movement. I never really felt that comfortable with it because I prefer harder, edgier music. Unfortunately my mind was wanting to do moves that my body didn't know how to do. (I always say I'm the best dancer in the world...in my own mind. Lol!). I started taking lessons from a different instructor who did faster choreography just to learned different dance moves. Funny thing is, now that I've been doing faster dance movement, I've been craving to do slower almost lyrical type movement. Something I tell my students or other ladies in my classes who are struggling with their dancing, is to light some candles, or turn on the red light, put on some music, whatever mood your in for, close your eyes and just move. Don't think, just let yourself get lost in the music. Most of the time when I do this, I don't even throw any tricks. Your best dancing will come from getting out of your head, and letting whatever energy you're feeling in that moment come out through your bodies desire to move.
aliceBheartless · 12/15/2011
I have had this same dilemma, where I really wanted to be able to pin down my "style". This is mostly only something I care about when I am trying to choreograph to music for a performance, because I want to really capitalize on what I do best and what is good for an audience to watch me perform. I am VERY type A like that. In the same way that I have body dysmorphia, I think I have a style dysmorphia as well. I can't explain my style! And to some degree, I really do believe that it's quite futile to worry/stress about it (though believe me, I have. Many times over). Whether you know it or not, your style is there if you are into the music and dancing. I think that other people may have an easier time of describing my style than I ever will. It comes down to really feeling the music and when you are dancing and poling, just moving naturally. You never know, sometimes "messing up" a move that you have learned a specific way can become a trademark styling of your own. Or just choose two moves and really work on how to transition between them, the more different they are, the more likely you are to come up with something interesting and unique that your body does naturally. Style isn't necessarily huge scary fast moves or languid flexible moves. Style is how you present your dancing, how your body moves, so you definitely get to choose it. I think transitions and presentation define style more than specific moves do.
MissChiefNYC · 12/15/2011
OMG, thank you all for your responses. It's true, I can be a little hard on myself, and sometimes get lost in the criticism. I laughed when I read about body/style dysmorphia. Sometimes I think fate played a cruel joke on me, for in my mind I'm a great dancer, but my body is still playing catch up. It's all good. I love pole, and meh, maybe I'll never compete, maybe I'll never do splits....but eventually, I will find ME in my dance.
Lyme Lyte · 12/15/2011
I just posted a video to Hawaii 5-0 with my new hair extensions. A lot of people may thing I am weird, or my music is wierd, but hey......its my style! :)
jade s · 12/16/2011
MissChiefNYC, I saw you latest video, and you look pretty great to me! As you continue you pole journey, you will keep growing in your dancing and developing your style. It will constantly be evolving. Just look at the difference in Felix Cane since she first came on scene 5 years ago... @ Lyme Lyte: I LOVE your music!! I'm going to go check out your Hawaii 5-0 vid right now!
Tara · 12/17/2011
I'd say to play. Make sure your body is all warmed up, and you are comfy. Take a second to think about what made you consider pole (in the first place). Was it grace? Strength? When we're you at your happiest point in pole? What music was playing? What was going on in your life at that moment? How were you feeling about yourself? Surely, some of these feelings attribute to your desire to pole. If you miss it, get back to it? Hope you come out of your rut.
Tara · 12/17/2011
When were... Stupid iPhone!
Tara · 12/17/2011
When were... Stupid iPhone!
Sintra · 1/3/2012
I think it's important to just have fun, let yourself get goofy with it behind closed doors so you don't feel judged, record the stuff you do, to see what you like and think about it and discard the moves you find make you feel silly. If dancing is taken too seriously, it makes it hard for one to find their style if they conform too much to the tricks themselves, focus on just letting yourself go with the music you love. :)