Do I suck?

Mindy4pole started this discussion · 8/30/2010

I know that exuding confidence its the best way to appear good... but I'm feeling so down right now. 😢 What do you do to make yourself feel better about your poling? I'm getting ready for a competition, and I just keep seeing all the things I need to do better... How do you pump yourself up when you're feeling down? I think I'm feeling a little bummed b/c I went to two pole open houses this weekend. I wish I wasn't poor right now and could afford to take their classes. Sigh... Plus, I hurt my arm some playing today. I couldn't even cut my little girl a piece of pizza tonight... But, "tomorrow is another day"! Hopefully, my arm will recover quickly, and I can get my routine done. And maybe by tomorrow I won't need external validation... A girl can hope, anyway! 😉 Mindy

5 replies

MichelleH · 8/30/2010
I'm also preparing for my first pole competition, too little preparation, too late, whilst my husband and I are contemplating divorce and he has asked me to move out. OK so that sounds really self pitying. My point is, we can only do the best we can, for where we are up to. Make sure you have chosen moves you can do, get the transitions in and out of the moves really smooth and polished, and practice smiling and exuding confidence! That will take you much further on whether you can stick that one extra trick! Anyway, that's what I'm telling myself!
Jodes_86 · 8/31/2010
I guess what helps me when I am feeling less than adequate in any area is remembering things to be thankful for. I find that finding 3 things everyday to be thankful for takes away the negative glassess that we sometimes wear. For example I might be feeling down because I cannot get a trick that everyone in my class can get (or because I don't have awesome abs etc), so in come the negative thoughts "I am not good enough" etc. So this is where you have to stay STOP and remember that there are good things in your life and you CAN chose whether to be happy or unhappy. Remeber: - There is always someone out there that wishes they were you (it's true) - There are always people that are worse off then us (people who are more concerned about food rather than not looking good in a bikini) 😉 I guess positive self-talk is my best friend when it comes to this stuff because I can chose to be down on myself, but that isn't going to help me or anyone else, so why not look on the bright side? Hope this helps xx
Veena · 9/1/2010
I have learned that letting the sad feeling of "wishing" you could do this or have that... need to be kicked our the window!!!! LOL IF YOU WANT SOMETHING YOU CAN FIGURE OUT AWAY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN! Don't get trapped in the "but if I only" thinking... take control and work hard for what you want with the resources you have. When I feel like everyone is better than me I stop watching others for awhile. Sometime we get so caught up in comparing our dancing or number of difficult moves against others......this can make some want to fight harder, but others feel down and defeated. Just focus on YOUR work and perfecting YOUR moves.....I have found that as long as I only compare my progress to well...MY progress then I see gains and feel good about things. We tend to be our own worst enemy....start looking at yourself in a positive way. There will always be someone better than you at something....It sucks... 😨 but once you realize that, you can let go and just worry about striving for you personal best!!! ☀️ ☀️ I don't know if that was helpful at all but I hope so 😳
yogabeachbabe · 9/1/2010
I think MichelleH has a great point about choosing moves/transitions that you feel good about. In my personal opinion, in a competition or a performance, I think watching someone do a fantastic and smooth "easy" move and seeing them totally nail it, is a lot more exciting than watching someone struggle to pull off an "advanced" move because they think the judges might score them higher. On the other hand, I'm not quite sure what the criteria is for judging your competition--whether they score higher on showmanship and presentation, or difficulty of the tricks. Still, I love seeing someone just own the stage and own the moment. I was at the CA Pole Championship last year and my favorite dancer (who didn't win, by the way) was a girl whose energy practically screamed out to the audience. Maybe she wasn't as "smooth" as, say Felix, but she really made me cheer for her. Rock your routine and you'll rock your audience!
Layla Duvay · 9/1/2010
I agree with what everyone else said. I'd like to add that sometimes a "psych-up" song helps. Mine is "I Love Myself Today" by Bif Naked. Whenever I've listened to it before a job interview, I've gotten the job! It also works when I'm down, filled with self-doubt and self-loathing. Find out what your "psych-up" song is and PLAY it!!! Not so often that it loses its mojo, but when you know you REALLY need it!