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struggling :(
sorry, it's going to be a ranty moany post but I don't know where else to write it as most my friends don't pole and don't understand.
Pole used to be fun and was the only thing that makes me happy but recently it's been stressing me out 🙁 the main reason is I've gone from 6hr pole weeks on a 38mm brass pole to a 1hr pole week (if at all some weeks) on a 50mm chrome pole. It's so hard and disheartening. I was living the dream going to Bobbi's and going to practice times and doing my own stuff and progressing so fast and I actually started liking my body because I was doing so much practice. I ate healthily and was feeling great.
After 1 year there I've come back home to my original pole studio – which I love – but I find it so hard to get back into it. After nearly 3 months I'm still struggling with gripping on the 50 and we have only 1 practice session a week, all other classes are usually set moves and on static poles – everything I'm not used to.
I also 'found' a style of dancing that I like – spinny and trying to look graceful whereas everyone in my studio are more acro based and most are dancers or acrobats, i feel like a total beginner again. I know I shouldn't compare myself to them but I suppose when I was away I got a little big headed and thought I was a good pole dancer but coming back, I was totally wrong. I feel like I've lost all motivation and inspiration. Everytime I try a new move or even an old move, I struggle and it makes me so upset. I couldn't even invert properly the other day! how bad is that..
I'd love a pole at home to practice on but we literally don't have enough space and the ceilings aren't high enough. I desperately want to get better but I can hardly afford lessons nowadays so I go maybe once every 2 weeks. I try to stretch and practice handstands etc. at home but even then I lose motivation and I get annoyed because there's not 1 room in the house where I have enough space to do practice handstands against a wall… i kind of have to cramp myself up and hope i don't fall into the furniture.
Everything pole just sucks right now. I feel like I should take a break from it because I can't afford the lessons but I love it too much to just stop 🙁 blah
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2 Replies
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I'm sorry your having a tough time. I know what its like to have less than ideal pole space. I know its not a perfect space but at least you could do what you can with it. You never know something better may come along for you. Is there some other place you could rent for yourself. Or maybe put the pole up at a friends house?
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I too understand the lack of a good pole space. I have beautiful ceiling height, but a very narrow apartment, so I can't do a lot of floor movements or even spins where my legs would be extended. There's also a dangling light, so inverting has to be done with extra care. Also, like you, I have no wall space for handstand practice. I try to make do with my small space, is it possible you have any room? I would guess that my space is no bigger than 4X4 feet, if that.
Veena's suggestion of using a friend's space is a great idea. I'd take it one step further, and say to use a friend's pole. I frequently have some beginner friends come over and work on their spins, since they aren't at the stage to dedicate several hundred dollars to purchasing a pole of their own. I also have regular pole jams with some of the girls in my level. I'm sure someone in your new class would be game for extra, fun practice. You could bring the grace on spin pole, and they could bring the acro. It's a great thing to have different perspectives.
Good luck!
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