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Phases of Food and Pole
It’s ridiculous, but I go through phases where having to eat feels like a burden. Sometimes it’s just fuel to me and I have no appetite what-so-ever for anything. So, I use it to my advantage and eat only healthy things during those times but it doesn’t seem to change anything for the better. I go through my workouts, my body never changes, I choke down food I have no desire for (trust me, it could be anything or any recipe, I don’t care if I eat or not except to sustain) and it stays that way until the blah goes away.
Does anyone else ever have phases like this? There are numerous psychological factors that play into this, I realize. Trust me, though, I’m far from unhealthy as far as being too thin or too fat. I eat several times a day but it seems that the older I get the less interest I have in food. No cravings, no “Hey, that sounds/smells/looks good!”, nothing. My appetite flatlines and I hate having to spend money, waste time shopping/cooking/chewing, and it’s very troubling to realize that. It’s also hard to determine if I’m still hungry or full.
Eventually, my appetite will return but it’s never a relief when it does. Everything I eat seems to make me tired or weighs me down instead of energize, even organic vegetable-only stuff. Nothing lifts the fatigue and it’s irritating. It used to be easier, even when I was dangerously under or overweight the appetite was still there. I still had a drive behind it, and now there are phases where eating is purely a manual function.
My levels are fine with everything, it’s not a deficiency. I just plain don’t care about food for phases of time, if that makes any sense. It changes nothing in my weight or appearance, but it DOES effect my workouts and that is not cool.
Add whatever thoughts or advice you care to offer or possibly relate. This is a partial vent with an open ended inquiry, especially in the hopes that I’m not regressing into some sort of lackadaisical eating disorder I’m unaware of. If so, it’s a weird one that has no dangerous (just annoying) side effects.
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24 Replies
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Gosh, I have nothing of importance to add, other than I’m sorry! I hope you get over this phase. I’ve never heard of this. At first, when I read the first few lines I was, I need to think of food just to sustain me to. But it seems like there’s just no joy in eating for you. Anyways, I hope this phase is over quickly for you.
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Hey Serzi!
I seem to recall that you had mentioned you had previous history with eating disorders, and I’m wondering if this is just sort of a slow and frustrating throwback to that. (If I am correct- if not, ignore that line!)
During the time when you have an appetite, do you ever enjoy the food you are eating? Do you think “Wow, that smells good!” and then eat it, with joy and appreciation? Is there still some guilt about enjoying food at all, or perhaps some other bad feelings?
My own relationship with food isn’t perfect, and generally, I eat the same things, over and over and over again. I eat to keep my body going, and if I didn’t need to eat at all, I would probably only ever eat dessert on occasion! However, the things I do eat, I can enjoy in the moment, and I have found I have a very picky palate. I prefer food to be simple, both in flavour and texture. VERY picky!
Recovering from an eating disorder can take a lot longer than we think. Sometimes, recovery also means creating a GOOD relationship with food, rather than a neutral one.Otherwise, perhaps a doctor would have more insight. It may not be a nutritional deficiency, but it may be something else. I know that when I am stressed, or upset, I tend not to crave food at all. Nothing will entice me. I care for nothing, and only eat because I know I have to (and even then, it’s so minimal). Emotions play into food a lot these days, so it can be frustrating!
Keep going, Serzi! You’ll figure it out 🙂
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Thank you for your reply. It’s difficult to discuss with a lot of people because of the knee-jerk reaction as either “First world problems” or “Damn, I wish my appetite would go away”. It is exactly as you described; joyless. Even my usual favorite foods are a chore to eat and a guilt trip if I cannot finish or fake a smile.
I know…boo-hoo, but it is so strange. It’s limbo without the peppy backbends and marimba music. These phases come and go, wax and wane, and although I have my history with disorder this is almost…idk, the opposite. It’s not particularly distressing or anything, just irritating and abnormal. I know I’m supposed to want to eat without reminding myself to or having to drag myself away from activities because I know that I need to replenish.
This also isn’t a new phase, it’s a periodic phase that has increased in severity since my early mid-twenties. Where it used to happen once or twice a year for a short amount of time, it now lasts weeks or a month+. I sometimes joke that I’m so bored with being human that my body agrees with me. Not necessarily true, I have lots of other activities and parts of my life that I greatly enjoy. No appetite, though, and I have sluggish energy regardless of my diet or routine. I do hate that part of it because it effects my ability to conduct myself in the manner and capacity I am accustomed to.
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Yes, Runemist, when my appetite returns I am able to enjoy what I eat. All the sensory appreciation suddenly arrives without any recognizable provocation and I’m like “Oh, there’s the ol’ food-boner. Okay, cool, I’m not turning into a vampire after all.”
I’m not a fan of doctors because they tend to just push whatever untested drug is the current flavor-of-the-month, charge me about $500 per visit, and call it a day without even listening.
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I totally understand your frustration with the doctor- especially if you don’t live somewhere with free medical, it can be really upsetting for them to take up your time pushing stupid things, instead of you actually getting help.
Have you had your thyroid checked? Just a thought, and I’m not sure if it’s a standard check.
Otherwise… I’m not sure! You may be dealing with a sort of aftershock of your previous experiences, where you are normal for a bit, and then you struggle, but in a less severe way.
At the very least, I am happy to hear that you still eat during these times!Also, I would honestly suggest not faking or fighting it. Like, eat food, yes. You need to take care of yourself, and even creating a routine so that you just know “Oh, it’s 1pm, time for lunch” and it’s not so much of a struggle to stop doing what you’re doing, because you’ll be prepared for it. But, when it comes to emotions… fighting them, in my experience, is just so much worse, and they still don’t obey.
You don’t need to put on the nice face, you don’t need to finish it all in one go. Pick at it if you need to, and if someone gets you a gift because they’re being nice, tell them that you appreciate the gesture. I’m positive that you would do; those closest to you will understand the cycles you go through, and that you might save the gift, or just fight through, and not expect you to put a face on for them. Those who aren’t as close, you can always make some kind of racing driver’s excuses. Tell them you’re on your period and can’t have whatever right now for fear of a breakout. They don’t need to know it’s not actually that, and it saves you from their guilt trips. Sometimes a little white lie is better than getting into it. You have to pick your battles, and choose where your energy goes. You aren’t hurting anyone that way.
But try not to fight it too much. You’re allowed to have your emotions, or your apathy. -
Thyroid was checked (expensive testing that was, whoa!) but it was mostly covered by the insurance I had at the time and good to know that mine appears to be normal.
I am sure whatever causes these phases is more of a psychosomatic response than I’d care to admit. It’s so random I can’t pinpoint the trigger for it, though, or why it seems to increase in severity.
Thank you again for always offering your perspective. I do appreciate your insight.
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Hey, I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said. I recently went through a year of figuring outvwhatvwas wrong with me. I have a post on here names adrenal fatigue and it was really difficult for me to get help. By the time I found my holistic doctor that believed in me and cared about my health, My liver and spleen were out of harmony and 80% of my body was being consumed by this bacteria. Yes. Scary. But my post was meant to say this. I have struggled with food my whole life. It’s like … I’ve never had an appetite. This last year I’ve started to realize I have had some kind of eating disorder. I believe the way I was raised in an overwhelmed environment with parents that were strung out, food may have not been a very Important step in my childhood home. I’m just now starting to process this. Having 0 appetite is frustrating , and it does get old. I am sorry you go through this. I think the biggest thing that helps me eat right, right now, is that food has energy and I try to eat the energy I like to be. Green is the heart so even with no appetite I can down some green (chlorella, spirulins etc) juice. Or a vegan protein shake. Something that I can just get in for nutrition sake, not for my other senses sake, which don’t really draw me to food anyway. I think manyvwere raises to eat for pleasure and we are coming out of eating solely for that reason. Thanks for sharing, I appreciate you sharing something that I wasn’t sure how to speak of because non appetites don’t really get talkes about, it’s the Over eating we like to focus on. Same stuff different body. I have some unhealthy addictions the cover my emotions .. processes sugar and coffee. Yeah one day I’ll let those go but for now I’ll have my mocha and my protein shake for breakfastðŸ˜
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Thank you so much for sharing that, Stafana. I think you are right on with adrenal fatigue and, yes, I also come from a background similar to what you described. I love this site, so many creative and kind polers willing to help others. 🙂
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Idk if this helps but I started reading a book last summer called women’s bodies women’s wisdom , she blew my whole world open. They way I look at disease , I now welcome it because symptoms are the body’s way of crying out and our beliefs as a culture are tearing women apart. Christiane Northrup is her name and she says she spent the first 30 years of her career telling women what was wrong with them , now she dedicates herself to showingvwomen all that is right! Just wanted to add that, and if you ever feel like chatting or skyping chatting 🙂 I’d love to.
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I also have the same upbringing. My mom always had home cooked food on the table but that was the end, the strung out behavior and emotional trauma was similar.
I only eat because I’ll get shaky if I don’t, it’s like a checking account type of relationship. I wish everyday I could take the time I spent on food and put it into homework or cleaning. I thought it was wierd but I just live with it.My sister is weirded out because I could eat clean with no problem. Heck the menu plans make it easy for me, less time figuring what sounds good. Usually it’s nothing.
Feels like a disorder but not typical. I’m not restricting just choosing healthy clean food. I don’t binge or purge so it’s not typical but I think it’s ok since I know realistically I’m not starving myself and maybe it’s a good thing I don’t crave the crappy stuff. Maybe it’s a control issue, but either way pole and music bring me joy so I’m not too bugged about the food.
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Tangled giddy I like your view ! 😘
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I use to feel this way, (my whole life) turns out my issue was my body didn’t like dairy!! Not saying this is your problem, but I use to have phases like this and often feel blah and not interested in food. Then after a trip to NY on the plane ride home I realized I had felt great that whole trip and it was even a stressful situation, yet I felt good and not anxious. So I thought about the places we had eaten and realized I hadn’t had dairy!! I tried the lactose free stuff but it didn’t work. So now I’ve been very rescritive about dairy and it’s been life changing!!! I just thought I would mention it 💜
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Interesting Veena!!! Wow you just turned my light bulb into socket a bit, milk is the first thing in my stomach. Hmmm. The book Nutrition for Intuition has been helping me feel and hear the signs that the body is giving when it receives improper nutrition or foreign nutrition(milk made for baby cows). Maybe this year I can kick the dairy. Thanks again for the insight, Serzi thank you for starting this thread ! I have been feeling like its something I’m consuming that is doing this, I’ve ways liked warm milk since I was a child and have not outgrown that.
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Try to eat regularly and choose food you remember you have sometimes enjoyed. Appetite needs regular eating. The body learns it has steady energy available and if the fuel runs out, it says: give me more -> the hunger. If the body is used to starving every now and then, it can go to save mode and doesn’t alarm. Fatigue and problems in focusing can be a sign of silent hunger.
For gaining strenght, you have to eat regularly with or without appetite. -
I do eat regularly, several times a day normal serving size meals. That’s not at all an issue. I’m usually fatigued, regardless of what I eat or how much or how little. My problem is periodic loss of any passion for food or desire to eat. It’s mechanical and I hate these phases.
I was, however, raised in a home where food was a constant issue and was hospitalized as a teen for an eating disorder. Still, I always had an appetite even if I was starving myself. I always wanted food, the thoughts of what I would eat if I allowed myself to never ceased. Now I eat merely for sustenance a lot of the time. It is a joyless, expensive, time-consuming chore to me a lot of the time during these weeks and months long phases where my appetite disappears.
I think maybe the suggestions of adrenal fatigue, my upbringing, and possibly too much dairy have played a role in this. I wonder why it seems to have increased in severity and frequency over the past decade. I used to always be up for some ice cream or popcorn no matter what, now it’s blah.
Thank you everyone for all of your responses, advice, and for sharing your own struggles. I am glad that this thread has brought back such a variety of different ideas and stories. 🙂
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