Forums Discussions Need some advice from my ladies!!

  • Need some advice from my ladies!!

    Posted by Kari828 on October 15, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    So ladies… This is the only place I feel I can be %100 honest talking about this…my boyfriend has been unemployed for almost a year now, he has been working little jobs here and there to make a few extra bucks, but he can’t find a steady job. He is doing this electrical apprenticeship in the city, but the way it works is that he doesn’t know if he will be working until the night before so he pretty much has to have his schedule free during the day so his only options for a steady job are nights and there really isn’t much. He applies everyday to different places and either just never gets a call back or it never goes past the interview part. Jobs around where I live are pretty scarce right now so it’s been really tough. …so, I have been working non-stop to try and pay all the bills, my day job which gives us healthcare and a steady paycheck and bartending. The bar has been slow lately though so I took on more shifts, so now I work 9-5 day job M-F, 6-? Bartending Tues, Thurs, Fri, and some Sat. I make enough for us to get by, but its tiring me out. We are also trying to save up enough to move soon which has been really hard with only my income. So I was talking to my sister (who used to dance professionally) and she was saying how she would leave at the end of a shift with a thousand bucks, and my other gf who bartends at a club says the girls there do about the same…soooo… I am thinking of dancing… it has always been in the back of my mind, but now more than ever. If I could just work 1 or 2 nights at the club and make what I make in a week at both jobs now, I would be so much less stressed… I don’t know if I could do it though. I def couldn’t tell my bf cuz he would NOT like it, but at the same time im the one who has to pay the bills right now, so I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of just going to a club I have been looking at to just try one night and see how it goes… also I have a pretty high profile job in my town so i would have to work at a club that’s pretty far away so no one I know/work with would show up…talk about awkward office environment lol!! Just hoping to get a few opinions… thanks ladies!! xoxo

    Runemist34 replied 14 years, 6 months ago 9 Members · 10 Replies
  • 10 Replies
  • amcut

    October 15, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    Dancers make a lot less than they used to these days… so though your sister used to bank, you may not.

    .. and it’s never good to lie to a lover

    much better to tell him you’re just doing what has to be done and take no buts about it! You are pulling the cart- and you’re tired. He can’t say too much if you’re honest.

    I dunno. I say go for it. While strippus run themselves ragged a lot, and I’d be wary of that.. it seems like you already run yourself ragged just trying to pay the bills. That’s a LOT of hours to work, so you must be dog tired.

  • hottielolo

    October 16, 2009 at 1:34 am

    I think you should go for it…..if that’s what you really want to do. Maybe check into it and if you get the job let your man know the plan! I wouldn’t want your relationship to end because you didn’t think you could talk about the situation with him! If he isn’t cool with it let him know that it will be temporary until your current financial situation is resolved! Hopefully he will understand…..if not then what???

  • Kari828

    October 16, 2009 at 3:10 am

    Thanks for your advice guys…we have discussed it before and he said he would be really not happy or OK with me doing it, which i can understand, what guy wants their girl dancing naked in front of other guys for money?? But, to make things worse, i just went to the dentist for the first time in a very long time today (right after i wrote the first post) and (this is going to make me sound disgusting, but i swear i am hygienic and brush everyday twice a day for 2 minutes!!) and i need all my wisdom teeth out ASAP, and a slew of other procedures…totaling over $3,000… the shit just keeps getting deeper… i am seriously considering it now… i think i may just go check it out first and if i end up getting a job and working i will tell him… i have never lied to him before and i shouldnt start now… one lie will just turn into another, into another, etc, etc… thanks ladies i appreciate your input

  • Castleoutsider

    October 16, 2009 at 4:02 am

    hehe kari its ok =D my mouth needs a SHIT ton of work =) i was told that brushing too much even can cause you to brush away ur enamal -_- how retarded and messed up is that… anyways. when they started on my mouth they got rid of my wisdom teeth too.. i think thats something thats also like death n taxes.. getting rid of wisdom teeth and maybe ur tonsils;; ROFL!! =D

    well what sucks tho too… is with the economy how it is.. here.. one of our clubs has like how many girls in one night. i think someone said one night they had 40 girls in there? and with that many girls.. ur only gonna get so much stage time to where, ur gonna have to try and make up for it with dances. (blech! i just would want the pole T_T)
    so i mean yea here its not even worth it imo =\ fayettenam sucks balls

  • Cynthia D

    October 16, 2009 at 6:04 am

    i’m soo glad somene asked this question! i’ve been wanting to but don’t know how. i too have been considering the dance scence, but my husband would not like it. i’m a student, a mother of two babies, and my husband got laid off in august after giving four years to a shitty company… but i say he’s lucky that i have a low self esteem or else i’d be out there right now. how do you ladies get over the major insecurities in life? i’ve never been happy with myself, and i tell myself that i’ve had babies, that i am a young woman, and to just accept what i got, but i just can’t!!!

  • debbie

    October 16, 2009 at 10:47 am

    This may sound strange,but I have always wished I had the confidence to do it.!!All the girls I have talked to about it love the money,but they love their job too,and they mean it!!

    Everyone else is right,your partner needs to know,I was so misserable after my Husband had a motorbike accident because I ended up working 80hours a week.If there is a way you can make your life a little easier all females would understand totally!!Men are just hypocrits!!

    Its your life,Do it for you!!!!If thats what you want.

    Debbie x

  • Layla Duvay

    October 16, 2009 at 11:53 am

    I agree with amcut. You’ve got to assess whether or not the $$ would be worth the wear and tear on your relationship, and dancers do NOT make as much these days. Granted, it’s been ages since I was a dancer, but now you have to PAY the club to work there?!!? That just seems so wrong to me. Also, you have to hustle lap dances. According to my sources that means pole work, stage and floor work earn you little to nothing money-wise, it’s how you hustle the men for lap dances. That means grinding all over some guys all night, skin rashes from contact with jeans, guys whispering lewd suggestions in your ear. It’s exhausting and demeaning work, and as amcut pointed out, you’re tired already! Also, there’s the added pressure of small-town stigma attached to this work. Do you really need this extra stress?
    I feel your pain, though. It seems that when things get bad, they suddenly get WAY worse. In my experience, that usually means that something REALLY good is just around the corner. Your life is forcing you to readjust so that you’re ready for a positive life change. Okay, that sounded really touchy-feely, but it’s true! Also, give away whatever you need. If I need money, I give what I have to my fave charity. If I need rest, I do a small chore that will give someone else a break. Be a and will show up. I’m pulling for ya, sister!

  • RoxyPink

    October 16, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    Also, give away whatever you need. If I need money, I give what I have to my fave charity. If I need rest, I do a small chore that will give someone else a break. Be a and will show up.

    This is soooo true! I was raised to live like this and I have found that when my husband and I are having problems…if we give away what we need, we always get ten fold in return! Karma baby!

    As far as dancing goes…it seems like you are stuck bn a rock and a hard place…I would not "hide" it from your bf…but at the same time, I wouldn’t let him control what you deem is necessary to get by! We are all having to do things out of the ordinary to survive…and we may be doing it for some time…so make sure that you can emotionally handle the demands of dancing! I would love to dance and make money from it..but hubby isn’t completley on the band for now…he is my only customer!

    My husband was laid off in March and just recently (mid september) did he finally land the perfect job! You (your bf) must have faith that as long as you do what you are supposed to (get out there and look), the right opportunity WILL come around, you just have to be willing to SEE it! Good luck!

  • Castleoutsider

    October 16, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    hehe yes all men are hypocrites LOL

    BUT heather would also tell you the same. that making money in the club isnt about pole work, floor work.. it is about the hustle and the lap dances.. and ive been to several clubs and, guys are fking CHEAP. if they dont have to spend money they wont~ -_- and the only reason why theyll come up to to the stage n give u a buck is cuz they want somethin in their face -_-.. men are pigs.. lol

  • Runemist34

    October 16, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Hey, it does really sound like you’ve run yourself down…but I would say seriously think about the consequences before you jump. Are you going to get the amazing tips that these girls get, considering you’re new to the business? Are you really going to be comfortable with you if you start doing it? Are you good at choreography and can come up with a great routine, night after night, and take all your clothes off and make it enticing?
    Also, the teeth thing…I’ve never had my wisdom teeth out, but if it were up to the dentists, they would have given me braces AGES ago. We didn’t have the money for it, thank god, and I really didn’t want it done. If I’ve got messed up teeth, then I’ll have messed up teeth!
    Anyways, I hope you get some slack on your incredible work week soon. It’s very hard to go through life like that. Maybe let us know if you do decide to dance at clubs? I would actually like to hear what it’s like.
    Karma is great. Honestly, I’ve seen things in people’s lives turn around in a heartbeat, for better or worse, because of karma. It’s one of my beliefs of life, and I use it all the time. You’re putting in so much effort now, I know you’ll get a huge payoff in the future!

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