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Major body image crisis :(
Hey, Veeners, I am in the middle of a nasty few days of self-doubt and bad bad bad body image. I have been poking around youtube for pole inspiration and new combo ideas, and I feel like I've been inundated with images of dancers with Barbie doll bodies…. and it's sucking me down. I'm not necessarily talking about teeny tiny skinny dancers, I'm talking about bikini model types, all boobs and abs and legs and perfect tiny round butts.
There's more background to this, it's been coming and going for years…. but suffice to say that right now, I could really, really, REALLY use some links to vids with creative movers who don't have sculpted abs and legs that go on for miles. Any other short-torsoed, short-legged, densely packed dancers out there? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_confused.gif I need inspiration but it's not healthy for me to keep watching videos of women with perfect bodies.
Ugh. I hate it when I get all fragile like this! Normally I'm so well-adjusted lol.
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26 Replies
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I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down with this issue right now. I have body image issues from time to time myself and it drives me bonkers for many reasons.
Nekia aka 'Dangerous' is absolutely gorgeous!!! I love fluid and sensually she moves her body.
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@polergirl – sorry you’re feeling blue. Just wanted to tell you that I love watching YOUR videos for inspiration. You have a very natural, sensual flow, and I think you are absolutely gorgeous.
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Polergirl, I was JUST thinking/wondering about you this morning. I love your vids too, sooooo much. Sarah Holborow is one I've always liked: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSK3aMbtP1w
I go through periods of self doubt too. Sometimes I feel like 'if only I didn't have this or this to worry about, I'd be so free from worry and (self) judgment.' But when I look at my students, who are all different sizes, I only admire and love their movements. It's so hard to do the same for ourselves sometimes….
XOXO!!
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I am short, large boned, broad shouldered, and depserately trying to shed 20 lbs. You are not alone.
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have you watched anything by rhiannan nichole?
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Polergirl I don't know why you would have body issues! I think you have a rocking hot body and no dancer with barbie doll bodies should ever make you feel less than worthy of strutting your stuff!
One of my favorite videos is actually done by a dancer by the name of Jamilla Devilla. She's beautiful even if she's not barbie doll perfect. I love her thighs and how her abs are not chiselled and perfect. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXXw8JFEzbA
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Amy–I stalk Rhinanna Nichole obsessively. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif She was one of my very first youtube idols. Her flow is otherworldly. When she took a long break I was upset like I'd just found out the Easter Bunny isn't real. Then she came back and I was all https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif and https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif. (PS – I'd feel that way if you left too. So don't. K?)
Ladies, I appreciate your responses to this thread SO much. Please know that I'm not trolling for compliments. I honestly am looking for inspiration that comes in something other than a size 6. I word hard for the body I've got and I'll keep working hard, but effin' body image issues are a tough nut to crack, KWIM?
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aww dont feel bad you def have a beautiful body! ppl on youtube have been dancing for like ever and thats prob just what the pole did for their bodies. im going thru a little something myself. i use to be a little bigger. an im finally getting to where i want to be… but all of a sudden im hearing ppl say about girls that are my body type ( oh shes too skinny, i like meat, id break her) i didnt want to be concidered too skinny bc i loe having the big hips an i dont wanna let that go lol, since they look great for bellydancing, but i notice im happy with where i am, an i shouldnt care what ppl think… bc the things i do ( belly and pole dance and yoga) will change my body.. an theres nothing i can do about it. Enjoy your body when your dancing =) youll come a long way with confidence. The girls i bellydance with, all have different body shapes. theres my teacher who is SUPER skinny… Rock hard abs…. Theres me, thin, big hips, thick in certain areas…. and there are some students that are bigger than me. I love love LOVE that alot of the dancers all have different body shapes, heights. Its very interesting to watch. If everyone looked the same it would just be boring to me. I love how everyones different…. and you are def one that i like to watch for sure =)
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I LOVE Rhainnin! She is so nice and an amazing athlete and teacher. In addition to her physical studios she also offers online instruction. Wow!
Polegirl, definitely know what you mean. I hope that this bout of body image passes quickly and even if it doesn't…. keep in mind that you are amazing and beautiful just as you are. I enjoy your vidoes and your dance style. Body image stuff really just sucks.
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Oh Polergirl!!!!! I enjoy watching your videos, you ARE sexy, I've always thought that. Have you looked around on here, we've got some lovely ladies posting. I find my inspiration watching videos here and you've been one of those who've inspired me! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif New tricks are ok, but honestly I would rather just see a nice heartfelt performance.
I met someone the other day and she has a blog you might wanna check out if your feeling low. She became a member here "Wrinkletalk" ……. I just have to get her on a pole. Here's her blog http://diaryofawrinkle.com/ https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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While she has abs, Rafaela Montero is shorter and squat and ridiculously muscular. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASHgo9U6sS8
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otherworldly is a great way to describe it. absolutely ridiculous.
can i ask– do you feel like your body is holding you back from doign things that you wnat to do, or do you feel down on teh way that you look when you dance? mabye both, but can you distinguish the difference?
<3 to you too 🙂
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Polergirl- You are super sexy. I love watching your videos. You’re body is gorgeous!!!!
I had a similar issue just a couple of months ago. I started losing weight in my chest and tummy but my booty and legs stayed the same. My arms got HUGE (I’ve always been a swimmer too-so add pole in the mix and BOOM! Huge guns!)I felt super disproportionate. I was upset because I always loved my large breasts and my tummy. But I soon realized that I love the way pole makes me FEEL. Not necessarily how it makes me look. Im in the best shape of my life. And I’m beginning to look at my body more like the well-oiled machine that it is instead of a perfectly proportionate barbie doll. I’m far more confident now, though sometimes I still have moments of weakness. We are beautiful machines!! Be proud 🙂
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I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I've been struggling badly with similar issues…sometimes I even wonder if I'm trying to be something I'm not with poling. I LOVE the sexyness, strength, confidence and all that. Buuuuut…I never look on my video camera the way I feel in my heart or look in my mind. Does that even make sense? I hate even admitting that I struggle with this. grrr.
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Great post! Although pole dancing has given me so much confidence, I often struggle back and forth with similar issues. Long torso, short legs, no booty, older than the average poler, always feeling awkward trying, to keep up with my 20 something year old classmates that are younger than my kids… But remember, you’re out there doing things that many people wouldn’t even dare to try. You’re beautiful, strong and sexy…on or off the pole!
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It is the same for me:(
I recently started videoing practices and I was hugely dissapointed when I watched myself.
Like what was already mentioned – I don’t look the way I feel when I am poling. I feel like I am graceful and strong but when I watched the video back all I see is a 40 year old, overweight women with bad posture. Even the floorwork does not look anything like I want it to.
I posted a little while ago how embarressed I was even thinking about posting videos on here and it all has to do with self-issue problems.
My studio has no mirrors (budget constraints) so this was the first time I actually saw myself and I was extremely dissapointed and discouraged.
It even has me thinking about why I carry on. -
Ohh all my little lovelys'..Pole is not how you look. It is how you express. Just get back to basics. close your eyes and FEEL the movement.
Would you judge your fellow poler for putting there heart and sole into a performance, no matter what level…I think not! Remember, it is all relative! Everyday has something different to offer. Meet those days that are hard and ask yourself..Why is it so hard today? Am I tired? have I nurtured myself enough. Find the beauty of THAT moment. When you cant do what you thought you should be able to do, it is time to do what you can…or maybe it is time to discover something has been there that you didnt know. Frustration is a GOOD thing. It drives us, it's goal in not nescessarily to be "better." but to grow.
When I was young I was teased horribly about my very musclar legs. The girls thought it was gross….literlly…I would avoid wearing shorts in public..and rarely at that. But now…I only get compliments on them.
Often times what we think our worst asset is, is our gift.
so..please "go on"..I dont want to miss your next video:)
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What? Polegirl, I woke up to this thread and had to do a DOUBLE check on if you were who I thought you were. Sure enough, I looked at who started this post, looked at a few of your videos and was like, Polegirl is feeling this? You are so darn cute, sexy and love your sassy hair. I looked at your video attemping the iron X….you are so strong. I looked at your butt in a few other videos….nice and round. I looked at your age and I am like DAMN girl, you got it going on! OK, I may have big boobs and be curvey, but I also have no butt like yours. My butt is saggy and wrinkly….that happens as you get a little older. But you know what, I still feel sexy, and if I can feel sexy about me, I hope you start to feel sexy about yourself. Because you ARE! Damn woman….HOT! And if we compare ourself to others, especially younger, skinneier sexy ones, we will always feel poorly about ourselfs. Why don't you look at other women your age, I bet you line up 10 woman your age, in their undies, and you would feel good about yourself. How many others your age are attempint and iron X? When I went to this concert last weekened and they wanted a few volunteers to come up on stage, you know what? I was up there with other women my age, but I felt like the sexiest one out there. I felt the muslic and let my inner sexiness shine. Just like another memeber wrote on here…….feel the music, let yourself go, and allow yourself to feel the sexy woman you are!
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I think you are being wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 2 hard on yourself. What you are thinking you see is a mirage b/c you are really toned. How many 40 year olds r inverting? You are super strong! Everyones body is different. Yours is better than even the avg. 30 yr. old. There are 20 yr olds in many of the classes that I have been too who would never even attempt the tricks you are but pole isn't about that. I just returned to pole after a baby and if I was worried how others looked I don't know if I would have stepped back in the studio. Write some post-its and put them on fridge, on mirrors, in car and let them all say really nice things about YOU. I think it is more of a mind issue than a body issue.
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You are beautiful and inspiring. I must admit I rarely watch youtube pole vids unless I am searching for new moves. People here (including you as I have always admired you) are far more motivating to me. Real people accomplishing their goals: whether the goal is to pop big tricks, have sensual flow, improve their bodies…. Whatever! I have no boobs and a disproportionate hip/thigh/butt and guess what… because of you lovelies I have learned to love it! It may not be what "everyone wants" but it is mine and I am still in shock over the things it can do!
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Im shocked at the things u can do too PA! We started about the same time and i could compare myself to you, but i would just feel bad. Therefore, i look at what I (Lyme Lyte) can do and i feel proud of myself…..and sexy! 🙂
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Lyme I get just as excited when you accomlish a goal as I do for myself. It is not about where we are it is about where we are going! Besides I learn from you as well as everyone else. I had never attempted car to brass monkey until I saw YOU do it. =) You may be right that some of it comes easy to me but it is people like you who push me through when it is not. That inspire me to WORK for it.
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We ALL have days like this! This is a great place to express them, work them, and come to terms with them :). One of the reasons I love this community of women is we all appreciate our differences, curves, straight lines, etc. We are all beautiful ladies who are working HARD to get a little better each day :). It's okay to have self doubt and bad days. That is human.
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Thanks again, ladies.
Like I said, I work hard for my body. I appreciate it. I like the way it moves. I like that I'm doing things I never thought I'd do. And I am super inspired when I watch videos here.
I agree with everything you're saying–but it's tough when I'm looking for inspiration on new moves or new combos to try, or watching someone's movement, and most of what I see doesn't involve bodies that are like mine. It's like taking a picture of Charlize Theron to the stylist and saying "make me look like that." Not gonna happen. So I watch videos and see things that I want to try…. or see things that make me think "ooooh, I wonder if I could do it *this* way" and I find I have to overcome a lot of psychological crap in order to get at all comfortable with how *I* look doing them, in my own style.
This is a warm and welcoming place, and I know that's the case. Where else am I going to bring up this subject and know that thousands of dancers will "get" it??? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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I have found a trend with some of the great "Pole" is that they have found their own style. i did a workshop with Natasa Wang and everyone wanted her to teach us the Allegra..And she said..oh..I dont really do that, my back is not very flexible..so she showed us her variation. It was beautifull..but not an allegra by definition. I think what makes some of her movement so amazing is that she does some unique things with her hands and feet that goes with the music and the emotion of the story she trying to tell.
Polergirl…
I've watched your videos. They are lovely, you have a flow and grace, mixed in with class and a little spice. I couldnt remember "what" you did..but I remember how I felt watching you dance and sharing a part of your self.
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