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Husband wants to take me to a strip club
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What a fun thread to find – because I just went to my first strip club this weekend. I loved it! The girls were GORGEOUS, but super nice. I was there for Alena’s performance, but the show time had changed, so I wound up there an hour earlier than needed, the only woman not working in the room. They were great! One dancer came and spoke with me and made me feel totally comfortable. And I just loved the dancing. I sat there smiling and applauding like the idiot I am, but, hell, if someone is on stage, the audience should be paying attention – and doubly so if she is naked!
I decided I wanted a lap dance, so I texted my boyfriend to see if that was okay. This is not because he’s a control freak, but rather because I was very anti-strip clubs for men in relationships when he and I first started dating. So I didn’t feel I could get a lap dance if I had been so "no way" to him. Well, he had no problem with it – probably seeing lots of lap dances in his own future. And mainly because he’s just super cool.
But I never got the dance – I was feeling I had spent way too much money as it was. And then I wasn’t able to find the woman I wanted the dance from. So I went back to my hotel.
But it was wonderful. And – don’t laugh – the women’s bathroom was really clean. That really says it all to me – it wasn’t a dive and it wasn’t gross. Even the guys were well-behaved. Though boy did Alena take them by storm! Did you know she did fire dancing? OMG – she set herself on fire. It was just jaw-dropping.
And for the record, yes, I did feel a little insecure. I’m a cutie, but – as anyone who chats with me soon learns – I wish, wish, wish I had bigger hips. Alas, this is not to be, so I did feel a little worried. But my lovely man assuaged all my concerns and left me thinking I was quite the little hottie.
P.S. Listen to your gut – if you force yourself to go when you’re not ready, you’ll hate it. If you ever want to, then go. I would have hated it a few years ago, too.
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I have never been to a strip club! But since taking up the interest in pole dancing, I’d really like to see a pole dance live. Isn’t that funny…? I mean, I’ve watched thousands of videos, know the names of all the moves, started pole dance fitness myself…and NEVER seen a live pole dance. Unless yuou count watching myself in the mirror.
I asked Laurie flat out if she minded if I went to a club. She said she was OK with it. She definitely wont go WITH me, though–although we have gone to a few burlesque shows together. Laurie doesn’t play mind games or anything, so I know if she objected to it, she’d say so. Which isn’t to say she thinks it’s a great idea–but she understands my curiosity and she’ll tolerate my doing it without giving me a hassle about it.
I actually had the chance to go this week–Thursday night there was an amateur night contest that’s part of a six week long contest at a big club here in Chicago. But I chickened out, LOL! I wouldn’t say this anywhere alse but here or on PJ’s, but I guess I ‘m just a little scared to go. It’s just an unfamiliar situation to me. I mean, I go to music clubs all the time, talk with the waitresses, BS with the bands, all that stuff. But I guess the strip club feels a little intimidating….
I think you should go with your husband to the club. Try to set up whatever boundaries you need to feel comfortable. I’m ashamed to admit it–but you ladies are right about one thing–there’s not too much complicated going on in the male brain.* The whole idea of having his wife along with him in the strip club is probably a bit of a turn on. It seems fairly harmless and it’ll probably make him very excited and happy!
Joel
* Footnote–although, I do think some of the ladies on the forums DO underestimate how much men are turned on by SMART women. Honestly, seduction…it’s as much mental as anything else. We should start another thread for that convesation!
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I LOVE this thread…except for me it’s the complete opposite. I love strip clubs and have been trying to talk my husband into us going to one together. I haven’t been to one since before he and I got together (almost 5 yrs now) He is the one that is a little uneasy about it! He said that he would feel like he was disrespecting me by looking at other girls when I’m right there….I say what’s the difference if I’m there or not??? So any tips on getting him to go with me?? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
Thats so funny, I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I have actually had to promise to stop going now https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif I love stip clubs, the girls all know how to move so slowly and smoothly its just hypnotic! And every stripper I have ever met has been absolutely lovely to me, I think taking you clothes off in front of strangers probably helps people have a bit of humility – before I went I thought strippers would be stuck up b****es but they are always lovely to me. I think there is nothing wrong with enjoying something as beautiful and sexy as the female body, and I really don’t think its cheating for a husband/boyfriend to enjoy it too. I mean we all look at sexy swimmers etc secretly when the olympics is on right?
So I guess strip clubs aren’t for everyone, but you’ll never know if you never go https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I mean we all look at sexy swimmers etc secretly when the olympics is on right?
You are so cute to say that! And, yes, we do. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
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I’m a little late, but I thought I’d throw in my 2 cents.
As most of you know, I work in a club, and as a dancer I wouldn’t recommend taking your partner to a strip club as seedy as that one sounds. My ex got a dance with a girl once – even though they just sat and talked, watching my partner with a pretty, half naked girl on his lap really got to me. If he’s suggesting it, it’s most likely because he wants to look at the girls, which will bug you no matter how much you don’t want it to.
I really, really hate when girls get dragged into the club by their partners. They usually go in thinking ‘it’s ok, they’re probably all crack-whores, I’m hotter than them’ and then they get in there and see that the girls are all decent chicks with smoking bodies, and they start to get irritated with the whole thing. It can become incredibly offensive if girls are hanging around and they clearly don’t want to watch you dance. As a dancer, I never talk to a guy with a girl on his arm. If I want to communicate with the couple, I will sit down with the girl. Guy? What guy? At least that way nobody gets jealous and the girl has fun.
Girls on their own or that actually want to see the dancers are another story – they are much more fun than the male population.
Guys are like ‘Awesome! Girls! Sweet.’
Girls who are actually interested are usually like ‘OMG THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT EVER YAY OMG EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL WOOOOOOOOO’
I do find that I drop the act a bit with girls as well, and talk to them more casually than I do with guys – maybe it’s because they’re closer to normal people https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gifI don’t like girls – I’m sticking with men for the time being – but we do a lot of double shows with other dancers (nothing raunchy, just an extra set of everything). I also do the occasional dance for girls or couples, and they are incredibly awkward if the girl has been talked into it and isn’t very keen. Like Veena said, I will usually just start talking about clothes or hair… she doesn’t want to see me dance around on her boyfriend, and she doesn’t want me dancing around on her. A few days ago I got booked for a dance with a couple and I’ll admit I screwed up my nose when they told me. But it was with the sweetest, cutest little chick I’d ever seen, and her boyfriend was just watching. She loved every second of it, he loved every second of it and they left hand in hand with giant grins on their faces – you have to want to do it for it to be fun, otherwise you’re just throwing money away. I find that if I’m giving a dance to both people, it’s important for the couple to feel close to each other as well – usually I’ll encourage them to hold hands or for him to put his hand on her leg, so it becomes more intimate between them and more of a shared experience. I’ve had some very uncomfortable and not very pleasant experiences over the years before I figured out how to manage the situation… so be very careful, because it can easily end badly. But it can also be a lot of fun https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
And thanks glitter! You make me blush… but there are a zillion dancers in clubs who are a zillion times better than me, lol. Redke71 is around here isn’t she? She always leaves my jaw on the floor!
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Thanks for your input, Neke https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
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Sorry babe didnt get time to read post, I will tomorrow though ok, had a hectic day. xxx
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Neke, I loved your entire post. Its so nice to hear your opinion on this! Now I totally want Derm and I to have a dance from you!!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
Jacq, Ive read the whole forum and I dont think you really truly want to go. Im just getting negative vibes from you. If you really dont want to go you’re gonna have to tell the hubby that you dont. Perhaps Im wrong now, I dunno.
If you think you kinda do wana go you should actually take the option to go!!! Hey if you dont like it you can leave whenever you want right? I know you’ll have spent money to get in in the first place but hey what’s a few dollars compaired to your comfort and sense of well-being. Everyone that said you need to have set boundaries is totally right. If you discuss it before you go then both of u know where the other person stands. U need to tell him that if you decide you dont like it and want to leave, you both have to leave…together!
I have the opposite problem with Derm. He doesnt want me to go to a club with him because I think he feels like ill end up talking to the girls and exchanging numbers and talking ‘girly mush’!! I dont mind him going to strip clubs at all just as long as he tells me exactly what the club, girls, bar, drinks, patronage were like. I dont wana be hearing from someone besides him that he had some girls lady business in his face or something!!! :L So as long as Im ‘in the know’ I dont mind at all. Men like to look at naked girls. Fact. Its not like he’s gonna marry them. And I dont mind him getting a lap dance cause I know the girl who’s doing it isnt doing it coz she loves him or wants to marry him, she’s doing it to earn money. Its purely a job!
Good luck with your decision anyway and let us know what you do… -
Lol Trena, thanks!
I’m the exact opposite – if my partner is going to a stripclub I don’t want to be in the know at all – I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to have anything to do with it. I don’t think he would ever get a lapdance, but if he did I really really really don’t want to know. I wouldn’t ever want him getting a dance with somebody – I know all the tricks, I know what goes on, and even though there’s nothing X rated or below the belt, the whole thing is designed to put X rated ideas in their brains. It’s not sex, but it’s very sexual and it’s supposed to be an intimate experience, just without touching anything naughty. There are a million little things… like in my club there is no mouth contact. But some of the girls will breathe on the guys necks to simulate mouth contact. There’s no touching below the waist, but you make them think that you’re GOING to touch them below the waist and then not do it, and watch the disappointment all over their faces. Fun! But I don’t want HIM getting excited about the idea of somebody else doing that! He doesn’t want me coming home from work and going ‘Omg I had this awesome dance with a muscly army guy…’ same goes for me. I don’t want to know about ANY hot chicks he was checking out.I’m insanely hypocritical, but that’s how I feel… I don’t mind him going into clubs with his mates, mostly because he is the kind of guy who wouldn’t normally go in there anyway. I think after being with me so long and meeting so many of my friends from the club he can appreciate women without lusting after them, especially when it comes to pole dancing (when I’m watching pole dancing vids I’ll often see him look up and go WOAH!)… but the whole point of a lapdance is to encourage the lusting. If he went out with his friends and got a private show and I found out I wouldn’t be upset, but to know the details and to see it going on are very different.
And just for the record, I would definitely fly halfway across the world to hit strip clubs with Sascha – I can guarantee that will be much more fun than with your man!
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I went one night with my boyfriend and a girl name Brit and her bf Kyle.
I did not have fun. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cry.gifI won’t go into it. But if you’re even a slightly jealous type, don’t bother. It’s not worth the fight afterwards when your boyfriend tries to get some from you because he’s thinking about all the girls he got to see naked.
If it’s amateur night, and you’re comfortable with it (you wouldn’t have to take off more than you are comfortable with, anyway, I wouldn’t think) go for it, but as you’re having doubts…maybe you’re not ready.
Some time in the future, plan a trip to somewhere for vacay and see if the area has a classy joint with an amateur night. That way you can write it off as "crazy vacation happenings" and it won’t have to be trailer park six month pregnant and obvious bum acne strippers, like it was where I went.
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i agree with veena~ do your homework!
The 2nd club I went to with my hubby, he actually warned me ahead of time (i had just came from wa to be with him and he was stationed in ne and so hes been to this club before)
that for some reason these girls, if theres a girl by the stage, they have been known to pull them on the stage, n go down on em~…. so yeah
my friend that had been taking classes with me in omaha shes like i wanna get closer im like uh uh! fk that noise! lol i think she was mad for a while but if she understood why id rather stand back n watch.. yeah .. ROFL!
i dunno Ive been to 4 stripclubs and i do agree, all the girls I met are oober sweet and talented. and for some reason when i watch them.. you notice they are human and they too have flaws.. and i start to feel better about myself ^^ its like things we think are gross about ourselves.. guys pay to have it shake in their face~ O-o lol
so yeah i dunno i just wish i had move money for the girls when i go =) i tip for pole tricks© LOL
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Here’s my 2 cents…
Set some boundaries, do your homework and try it out!
Set boundaries such as,
Sitting at a table in the middle of the club (as opposed to the tip rail.
Whether any contact is ok (tipping dancers, lap dances, sitting on laps, etc)
Amount of time to stay there (I recommend staying at least an hour)
Whether you will be drinking (alcohol can complicate things)Do your homework about the clubs in the area
Go on a Friday or Saturday night when it is easy and in full swing
There will also be more Dancers on the weekend
Picking a club where girls are topless only and in gowns will probably be easier to be comfortable inI personally love strip clubs and worked at one as a bartender a few years ago. I never saw anyone use a
Pole as more than something to hold when they were drunk. Lol. And now I can’t keep hands off one!
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