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Husband wants to take me to a strip club
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33 Replies
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I Have been on the inside of strip club plenty of times, but not as a dancer. My ex-boyfriend was a bouncer at a place in PA close to NJ, so not a good area either. I went with him to work , Knowing it was a topless place. I wanted to see what goes on there. Thinking It was kind of trashy and I would see the dancers flirting with him and so forth. I can tell you I was wrong. I would sit there from 7pm until 2am and watch theses girls dance. It wanst what I expected. Alot of the girl there , where really nice and very talented. I got to know alot of the dancers and I cant say not one never through there self off as slutty. After talking with these girls , they would tell you that they are there for the job, they would play the part to get the tips. I remember two girls that would never strip off there top, and they were the two girls that where the favorites of the place and got the most tips. One of these girls was and Attoney and did dancing on the side for extra cash.
I did enjoy going to see these girls dance, I wasnt into what they were wearing or not wearing, but into watching there routines. Its because of that experince of going to that strip club is why and I learning to pole dance. Not because of the exotic side , its the art of pole dance and how beautiful one can make it look. So in my opinon you can learn alot from going there and picking up pointers. You would just have to prepare yourself to see some of these girls half dressed. I somehow blocked it out, so it wasnt a problem for me. I hoped I helped. -
You never know until you go! I was pleasantly surprised the first time I went to a strip club, and jealous of the moves those girls can do. Maybe the idea of going with your husband is what’s holding you back, try going with some girlfriends first. I didn’t get a ‘private show’ until like the 4th or 5th time I went, personally I just prefer watching the girls on the stage.
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If you decide to do it let me know. Keep in mind if you dont like it , you can always walk out and leave.
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Well where to begin? Hmmmm I have been to strip clubs many times! I still go, I usually end up having some fun conversations with the girls. The only reason I agreed to go the first time was because I was really interested in the pole work. This was before I had even tried a pole. I was fascinated by it, I don’t know why but… That’s how I learned to move. I have always gone with my husband and it was fun because we felt like we were doing something naughty… but together…hehe.
So here is my thoughts on this. All men, https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_bigsmurf.gif happily married or not like to look at naked or scantily clad women, https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_smurfin.gif that’s just the way their simple pea sized brains work. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_geek.gif So if you go…. yes he will drool over all the girls in the club BUT that doesn’t me he thinks they are more attractive than you or will love you less. My husband and I became closer after our experiences, because it helped start up some interesting and honest conversations. I also realized he wasn’t feeding me a line when he said he preferred small boobies (I call mine "hootlits" not hooters.) We have been happily married for 13yrs! Honest communication is the key.
Now if you do decide to go…do your research, we went to a full nude club the first time https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_eek.gif I didn’t realize it double https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_eek.gif https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_surprised.gif . until I looked at the girl on stage. I was super uncomfortable but to my surprise the girls were really nice. In my experience women guest are treated really well in the clubs. I have gotten a private dance and the girl and I end up talking about clothes and hair silly things, and your man has no clue and thinks its super hot, because all he see’s is two girls! If you tell the dancer your not really comfortable she’ll be nice. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_flower.gif
Just make sure that there’s an understanding between you and your husband….if your uncomfortable and want to leave he doesn’t get upset or make you feel bad. If you say enough, then it’s done!! If he’s not willing to give you that kind of control over the situation then don’t go! Talk about it before during and after…don’t pester him but just remember this is how most men think…"I wanna beer an I wanna see somthin necked" https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif You can learn a lot from the girls in the club, the girls who do the best TEND to be the ones that are the most confident, regardless of their shape or size. Learn to work it girl. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_flower.gif -
LOL Veena I love the Jeff Foxworthy quote… https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif
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I LOVE to party at strip clubs! I don’t get to go near as often as I’d like……usually because I get so wheels off and I end up spending way too much of my husband’s money https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif You should really go Jaq, they really aren’t quite what you think, and if you’re sweet and friendly to the dancer’s they’ll love it and be totally sweet to you back. Haha, I ususally leave with girl’s numbers to get our kids together for playdates, it always annoys my hubby’s friends https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif
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LOL Lily I can totally imagine you picking up strippers numbers! That is too funny.
My ex loooooooved going to strip clubs and I went with him twice…I did have fun but as everyone knows here I am pretty self conscious about my body so I was definitely concerned he’d find some of the girls hotter than I am, or to have better bodies, etc. I also definitely wasnt comfortable with seeing naked women sit on his lap or flirt with him…but to my surprise the girls were paying more attention to me! We got a lap dance and it was mostly me getting a lap dance while he watched…I don’t think he was expecting me to get all the attention and I think it actually pissed him off a little https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_tongue.gif
But, I will agree with everyone here strip clubs can be fun. If you’re cool with the dancers theyre very friendly.
I dont mean to offend any dancers here but at the clubs I’ve gone to I’ve only seen two or three dancers who can use the pole and they really only did some basic inverts and spins…nothing death defying like our Neke does https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif I think your husband saying he wants to go so you can get "pole tips" might just be a way to get you to be okay with going…but if my man was going to a club I’d prefer he went with me than without me!
Thats my .2..like Veena said, discuss your limits with him before hand so he’s not surprised when you don’t want a girl to spread her legs in front of you so can see her up to her kidneys. I think it’s worth a go just to say you went, who knows you might end up really enjoying it!
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bottom line is if your doing it bc you want to, your curious or whatever great https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_thumright.gif but dont be talked into something you truly dont feel comfortable w https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_thumbdown.gif theres a diffrence between leaving your comfort zone to grow and doing something that doesnt sit right w you to make someone else happy i personally dont want my bf at a strip club https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_ncool.gif i am more adament about this now than ever as i have 2 poles in my house the way i feel personally is i am not cool w MY man goin to pay other women to take there cloths off https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_evil.gif um.. hello.. your gf is here w a pole/clothes/shoes/moves ect why do you need to go pay a stranger?? i dont want to hear about entertainment or getting out of the house or anyrthing to that effect you want to get out/socialize/drink? go to a bar or another event w friends , come home, and get a private show from the woman you love in the privacy of our home https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_king.gif https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_queen.gif would he be cool w me getting on stage for a bunch of men taking my clothes off and throwing money at me all while i smile and gyrate my crotch into the floor .. um no he knows i want to do a pole contest but he also knows theres no way in hell i would be removing my top/getting naked/wearing a gstring ( not thats theres anything wrong w that but i know he feels like i do and would feel disrespected) i am saying this is how I feel about MY relationship for others it may be a great time for me no i didnt spend $$ on outfits ect to have him go invest his time/sexual energy on some strange women hell no https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_puke_l.gif i have been to the clubs and i know some peeps are probably going to get upset, but it does depend on the club girls are not always nice sometimes they are actually meaner to the ladies! ( i had a girl who would only come to the part of the stage where me and my girl were uhnless we started showing $$ and than would come over like she was all aggravated and actually gave us a dirty look!! i was like dont be mad at us bc your up there when you obviously dont want to be ) some are i had 1 girl who was super nice! she was like someone i wanted to say " hey go get dressed and lets go grub and gab " i am not saying this to scare you off the subject https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_shaking.gif you asked for opinions and i am giving you my true feelings not some candy coated assurance some clubs the women take care of themselves, they are enetertaining ( even to the point i may go see a show w my guy as its an actual show, but not topless/naked that would never happen to me thats very disrespectful ) and make the peopel (including women ) feel comfortable its easy to enjoy a great performance in a clean upscale club i personally dont know of any in my area as i said 1 is very well known by a name i wont use here its known for the drug trafficking, run down women and girls who look 14 its just sad basically i would say if you plan on going make sure your doing it for the right reasons, decide the do’s and don’ts before you walk in to lessen chance of bad experience, and go w a girlfriend or 2 first to see how you feel during and after hope this helped and didnt mean to offend anyone just giving my honest feelings hope it works out for you https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_sunny.gif https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_flower.gif
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I LOVE this thread…except for me it’s the complete opposite. I love strip clubs and have been trying to talk my husband into us going to one together. I haven’t been to one since before he and I got together (almost 5 yrs now) He is the one that is a little uneasy about it! He said that he would feel like he was disrespecting me by looking at other girls when I’m right there….I say what’s the difference if I’m there or not??? So any tips on getting him to go with me?? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
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I LOVE this thread…except for me it’s the complete opposite. I love strip clubs and have been trying to talk my husband into us going to one together. I haven’t been to one since before he and I got together (almost 5 yrs now) He is the one that is a little uneasy about it! He said that he would feel like he was disrespecting me by looking at other girls when I’m right there….I say what’s the difference if I’m there or not??? So any tips on getting him to go with me?? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
heee!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif My husband is a little funny about it too, before we met he used to love them and dated (I use that term loosely) a few dancers and yeah he’ll still go with his friends for the random ‘guy’s night’ or whatever, but he’s not so much into it when I’m there……. He totally won’t get dances if I’m there (unless it’s one together https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif ) I think the real reason he hates them is because of how $$$ they are – these girls are there to make money – Jacq if you go be prepared to pay them right! And regarding some of the points Pole-Twista made, I’ve definitely encountered the irritated stripper unhappy to see other chicks in the club. Personally I think it’s easier to go with a guy, or a few guys. If you’re nervous, just relax and be a wallflower – the girls will probably ignore you for a while and treat the guys like normal and it’s really interesting to watch the whole thing. A group of pretty girls can be intimidating – ugh, I’ve been out with chicks who acted all snotty and it was awful- of course the dancers hated us. So be chill, and just be nice.
I have to say I do think it sounds like you husband is turned on by your pole-dancing in general and that’s his motivation! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_twisted.gif IDK – I’d say to just keep open communication with him, for sure don’t do anything you don’t feel right about https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_queen.gif
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OMG! I used to totally HATE strip clubs. My first husband would go once every year or two and I would refuse to touch him for a week because it felt like cheating. I am a feminist and felt it was so degrading to women. Then somehow my opinion started to transform. I thought the men are being exploited just as much as if not more than the women. These ladies are able to extract huge cash for playing a fantasy! So somehow my current hubby convinced me to take him to a club for his birthday. I was really shy and couldn’t even look up at first. Then I looked up and saw that it wasn’t nearly as "sleazy" as I had expected! I started tipping based on athletic ability and had a great time. Next birthday, I was excited to go and "check out some moves". My husband sneak attacked me with a lapdance, and I kinda even enjoyed it (don’t tell him- he thinks I was doing him a favor!!) It beat having her grope my husband! You know, before I went to a club, I would have been worrying what my husband was up to there. Now I know and it’s not as bad as I thought! He stares at some T&A and hands out cash to any girl that gets close to him. Men really are so simple (to quote Saschapoles). My husband gets mad when I talk to the girls because it makes them "real people" and spoils his fantasy! LOL! Best of all, going to the club adds naughtiness to our marriage- it’s just good clean fun! And of course it lead to me getting my own pole. Plus, I am known as the coolest wife at my husband’s company!
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i think you’ll find the typical stereotypes, especially where we live jacq, but its definitely an interesting experience. you’ll find that most of the girls are normal people just playing a part, whenever im with the troupe at a show or whatever, it’s all sex kitten stuff on stage, and then in the back dressing room we’re all talking about how we cant wait to go home or go eat like pigs…..its all acting really. if i can come to binghamton for that amateur night, you’ll have to go with me!!!! we’ve gotta hangout at least once doncha-know!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
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What a fun thread to find – because I just went to my first strip club this weekend. I loved it! The girls were GORGEOUS, but super nice. I was there for Alena’s performance, but the show time had changed, so I wound up there an hour earlier than needed, the only woman not working in the room. They were great! One dancer came and spoke with me and made me feel totally comfortable. And I just loved the dancing. I sat there smiling and applauding like the idiot I am, but, hell, if someone is on stage, the audience should be paying attention – and doubly so if she is naked!
I decided I wanted a lap dance, so I texted my boyfriend to see if that was okay. This is not because he’s a control freak, but rather because I was very anti-strip clubs for men in relationships when he and I first started dating. So I didn’t feel I could get a lap dance if I had been so "no way" to him. Well, he had no problem with it – probably seeing lots of lap dances in his own future. And mainly because he’s just super cool.
But I never got the dance – I was feeling I had spent way too much money as it was. And then I wasn’t able to find the woman I wanted the dance from. So I went back to my hotel.
But it was wonderful. And – don’t laugh – the women’s bathroom was really clean. That really says it all to me – it wasn’t a dive and it wasn’t gross. Even the guys were well-behaved. Though boy did Alena take them by storm! Did you know she did fire dancing? OMG – she set herself on fire. It was just jaw-dropping.
And for the record, yes, I did feel a little insecure. I’m a cutie, but – as anyone who chats with me soon learns – I wish, wish, wish I had bigger hips. Alas, this is not to be, so I did feel a little worried. But my lovely man assuaged all my concerns and left me thinking I was quite the little hottie.
P.S. Listen to your gut – if you force yourself to go when you’re not ready, you’ll hate it. If you ever want to, then go. I would have hated it a few years ago, too.
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I have never been to a strip club! But since taking up the interest in pole dancing, I’d really like to see a pole dance live. Isn’t that funny…? I mean, I’ve watched thousands of videos, know the names of all the moves, started pole dance fitness myself…and NEVER seen a live pole dance. Unless yuou count watching myself in the mirror.
I asked Laurie flat out if she minded if I went to a club. She said she was OK with it. She definitely wont go WITH me, though–although we have gone to a few burlesque shows together. Laurie doesn’t play mind games or anything, so I know if she objected to it, she’d say so. Which isn’t to say she thinks it’s a great idea–but she understands my curiosity and she’ll tolerate my doing it without giving me a hassle about it.
I actually had the chance to go this week–Thursday night there was an amateur night contest that’s part of a six week long contest at a big club here in Chicago. But I chickened out, LOL! I wouldn’t say this anywhere alse but here or on PJ’s, but I guess I ‘m just a little scared to go. It’s just an unfamiliar situation to me. I mean, I go to music clubs all the time, talk with the waitresses, BS with the bands, all that stuff. But I guess the strip club feels a little intimidating….
I think you should go with your husband to the club. Try to set up whatever boundaries you need to feel comfortable. I’m ashamed to admit it–but you ladies are right about one thing–there’s not too much complicated going on in the male brain.* The whole idea of having his wife along with him in the strip club is probably a bit of a turn on. It seems fairly harmless and it’ll probably make him very excited and happy!
Joel
* Footnote–although, I do think some of the ladies on the forums DO underestimate how much men are turned on by SMART women. Honestly, seduction…it’s as much mental as anything else. We should start another thread for that convesation!
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I LOVE this thread…except for me it’s the complete opposite. I love strip clubs and have been trying to talk my husband into us going to one together. I haven’t been to one since before he and I got together (almost 5 yrs now) He is the one that is a little uneasy about it! He said that he would feel like he was disrespecting me by looking at other girls when I’m right there….I say what’s the difference if I’m there or not??? So any tips on getting him to go with me?? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
Thats so funny, I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I have actually had to promise to stop going now https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif I love stip clubs, the girls all know how to move so slowly and smoothly its just hypnotic! And every stripper I have ever met has been absolutely lovely to me, I think taking you clothes off in front of strangers probably helps people have a bit of humility – before I went I thought strippers would be stuck up b****es but they are always lovely to me. I think there is nothing wrong with enjoying something as beautiful and sexy as the female body, and I really don’t think its cheating for a husband/boyfriend to enjoy it too. I mean we all look at sexy swimmers etc secretly when the olympics is on right?
So I guess strip clubs aren’t for everyone, but you’ll never know if you never go https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I mean we all look at sexy swimmers etc secretly when the olympics is on right?
You are so cute to say that! And, yes, we do. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
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I’m a little late, but I thought I’d throw in my 2 cents.
As most of you know, I work in a club, and as a dancer I wouldn’t recommend taking your partner to a strip club as seedy as that one sounds. My ex got a dance with a girl once – even though they just sat and talked, watching my partner with a pretty, half naked girl on his lap really got to me. If he’s suggesting it, it’s most likely because he wants to look at the girls, which will bug you no matter how much you don’t want it to.
I really, really hate when girls get dragged into the club by their partners. They usually go in thinking ‘it’s ok, they’re probably all crack-whores, I’m hotter than them’ and then they get in there and see that the girls are all decent chicks with smoking bodies, and they start to get irritated with the whole thing. It can become incredibly offensive if girls are hanging around and they clearly don’t want to watch you dance. As a dancer, I never talk to a guy with a girl on his arm. If I want to communicate with the couple, I will sit down with the girl. Guy? What guy? At least that way nobody gets jealous and the girl has fun.
Girls on their own or that actually want to see the dancers are another story – they are much more fun than the male population.
Guys are like ‘Awesome! Girls! Sweet.’
Girls who are actually interested are usually like ‘OMG THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT EVER YAY OMG EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL WOOOOOOOOO’
I do find that I drop the act a bit with girls as well, and talk to them more casually than I do with guys – maybe it’s because they’re closer to normal people https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gifI don’t like girls – I’m sticking with men for the time being – but we do a lot of double shows with other dancers (nothing raunchy, just an extra set of everything). I also do the occasional dance for girls or couples, and they are incredibly awkward if the girl has been talked into it and isn’t very keen. Like Veena said, I will usually just start talking about clothes or hair… she doesn’t want to see me dance around on her boyfriend, and she doesn’t want me dancing around on her. A few days ago I got booked for a dance with a couple and I’ll admit I screwed up my nose when they told me. But it was with the sweetest, cutest little chick I’d ever seen, and her boyfriend was just watching. She loved every second of it, he loved every second of it and they left hand in hand with giant grins on their faces – you have to want to do it for it to be fun, otherwise you’re just throwing money away. I find that if I’m giving a dance to both people, it’s important for the couple to feel close to each other as well – usually I’ll encourage them to hold hands or for him to put his hand on her leg, so it becomes more intimate between them and more of a shared experience. I’ve had some very uncomfortable and not very pleasant experiences over the years before I figured out how to manage the situation… so be very careful, because it can easily end badly. But it can also be a lot of fun https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
And thanks glitter! You make me blush… but there are a zillion dancers in clubs who are a zillion times better than me, lol. Redke71 is around here isn’t she? She always leaves my jaw on the floor!
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Thanks for your input, Neke https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
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Sorry babe didnt get time to read post, I will tomorrow though ok, had a hectic day. xxx
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Neke, I loved your entire post. Its so nice to hear your opinion on this! Now I totally want Derm and I to have a dance from you!!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
Jacq, Ive read the whole forum and I dont think you really truly want to go. Im just getting negative vibes from you. If you really dont want to go you’re gonna have to tell the hubby that you dont. Perhaps Im wrong now, I dunno.
If you think you kinda do wana go you should actually take the option to go!!! Hey if you dont like it you can leave whenever you want right? I know you’ll have spent money to get in in the first place but hey what’s a few dollars compaired to your comfort and sense of well-being. Everyone that said you need to have set boundaries is totally right. If you discuss it before you go then both of u know where the other person stands. U need to tell him that if you decide you dont like it and want to leave, you both have to leave…together!
I have the opposite problem with Derm. He doesnt want me to go to a club with him because I think he feels like ill end up talking to the girls and exchanging numbers and talking ‘girly mush’!! I dont mind him going to strip clubs at all just as long as he tells me exactly what the club, girls, bar, drinks, patronage were like. I dont wana be hearing from someone besides him that he had some girls lady business in his face or something!!! :L So as long as Im ‘in the know’ I dont mind at all. Men like to look at naked girls. Fact. Its not like he’s gonna marry them. And I dont mind him getting a lap dance cause I know the girl who’s doing it isnt doing it coz she loves him or wants to marry him, she’s doing it to earn money. Its purely a job!
Good luck with your decision anyway and let us know what you do…
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