Forums Discussions Borrowing money to buy a pole? Any input?

  • Borrowing money to buy a pole? Any input?

    Posted by freakiel on February 11, 2010 at 5:43 am

    So, I started poling in like November of 2009, but I’ve been really broke lately and haven’t been able to pole in over 2 months, and I want nothing more than to have my own pole. So, I was talking to one of my friends about it all and he offered to give me the money for my pole (he has no ulterior motives, not only am I in a 3 year relationships that he knows about, but he is also gay). At first my reaction was "Are you kidding me? No way!" but the more I thought about it the more tempting it is. I know for a fact that he is pretty well off because both his father and his aunt are pretty rich and give him money all the time. And also, when I turned the money down he said to me "Ariel, I JUST got a $2,000 refund check from the school and I don’t know what to do with it." For me, it’s just a difficult decision because I support myself and it becomes sort of a pride issue with me. Like, I would totally pay him back, it just wouldn’t be very quick. So all in all, I made this post to hear if people think it would be wrong of me to borrow the money or if I’m crazy for even thinking twice about it?

    Foxy_Rei replied 14 years, 3 months ago 8 Members · 8 Replies
  • 8 Replies
  • Meleania

    February 11, 2010 at 6:44 am

    he offered, you will pay him back, hes got nothing better to do with it, why not?

  • Audball

    February 11, 2010 at 9:24 am

    If it means you can get a pole then go for it! Just make sure you both agree when and how you will pay him back, and it often helps to have it in writing, just so there’s no confusion!

  • DragonPhoenix

    February 11, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I think it’s nice of him to offer

    Since he told you he doesn’t know what to do with his money and wants to help you out, then it’s not bad at all. Maybe you can even invite him over to watch to practice sometimes and help you with some moves aswell (support your back with some upside down stuff & whatnot). He may even find it interesting enough to give it a try aswell, who knows!

    You can also offer to help him with things around his house or something, work off the payment since you want to pay him back but you’re short with money atm. I’m the same way, I hesitate when people offer things

  • minicoopergrl

    February 11, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Im with you. Its a sense of pride thing, trust me b/c I hate when my IL’s offer to pay for everything for my kids. But if your gonna make arrangements to pay him back (even if he doesnt want it back, do it anyway), id say go for it.

  • SissyBuns

    February 11, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    As long as you’re gonna pay him back and he’s not hurting for the money right now I don’t see a problem with friends loaning friends money. He might be the angel in disguise that you’ve been waiting for. LOL

  • polergirl

    February 11, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    One word of caution….write out a contract for a payment plan and stick to it! It’s always a sticky wicket to borrow money from friends…if you haven’t paid him back but show up with new shoes or buy a round at the bar or whatever, it’d be so easy for him to start feeling resentful. "Well, she doesn’t have money to pay me but she has money for those things…" If you have a payment plan set up it will eliminate that potential scenario.

    I’ve seen it happen sooooo many times!

  • freakiel

    February 11, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Wow, thanks for all the insight ladies. I think the biggest thing for me is that we are both college students, and I feel bad taking another college students money, since we tend to be broke. But I guess I need to remember that he is pretty well off and that he sincerely seemed to want to buy it for me. Also, thanks polergrl I will certainly do that!

  • Foxy_Rei

    February 12, 2010 at 2:45 am

    I ditto what polergirl said… loaning/borrowing money from friends and family is usually a very bad idea because it can so easily break the relationship.

    My husband borrowed a lot of money from a friend right before we got married and we still owe him a bit less than half… The friend doesn’t care, he sees us as like a bank account because he’s afraid he’ll spend it if he has it himself I resent that because we’re not a bank, and it’s not like we actually have the money sitting around – we don’t have it at all!

    So yes, get something in writing and stick to your plan… otherwise, your friendship might be ruined and your pole will be forever a symbol of that.

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