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Awareness and Sensitivity During Pole Class and Life
Not too long ago, I was cooling down toward the end of pole classes, when one of the students remarked on how it was not politically correct to say “Sit like an Indian” (we were all sitting cross-leggedly) Another student rolled her eyes and remarked that “People will get offended by anything.” I was a little confused by her irritation as
1) No one voiced offense or anger at the use of the phrase
2) Sit like a “insert ethnic group here”, is a rather daft and unclear instruction anyway
3)….Isn’t it fewer words to say “Cross your legs”Anyway, this kinda stuck in my mind, because I was talking to someone about some of the negative experiences I’ve had as a black woman in STEM, to which they replied “People (I guess in this case me) will get offended by anything.” The more I have come to interact with people of all different groups, the more I hear this phrase, and it makes me wonder.
Even here, there was a discussion about cultural appropriation and people were quick to say “People will get offended by anything.” And I do agree that there are some individuals who are intent on crying wolf and boohooing regardless of the situation, but I’ve found these individuals, like myself, to be in the minority. But for some reason, people take this minority and treat it as a representation of the whole.
And then, when there is an opportunity to examine how our actions could perpetuate harmful ideals and stereotypes or at a base level cause someone pain, instead of saying “I haven’t or don’t see it that way, but I have enough emotional sensitivity to examine that perspective, we brush it off with a “People will get offended by anything.” And by doing such, we use this gross generalization to abdicate the moral and social responsibilities we have as members of society.
I’m not by any means saying that every injustice and cruelty needs to be on our radar. But when the potential suffering of others is brought to our attention, why do we then get defensive, think of our feelings and how the feelings of others are restricting our actions, and then delegitimize those feelings by saying those invididuals’ offense and hurt, is a by product of themselves, not of the injustices that very may well (and often do) exist? To loosely quote everydayfeminsim “We are more upset by allegations of inequality than by the ways inequality plays out in society.” And by we, I mean some people. Of course not everyone does this.
It just seems to me that “People will get offended by anything” has become the mantra by which those in a position of privilege (and there are many forms of privilege and there is nothing wrong with being privileged) bypass considering the validity of others’ emotions. And the more I think about it, and the more I encounter this, the more determined I am to take a minute before I dismiss the feelings of others.
Yes, some people troll and search for ways to challenge and make people uncomfortable and make themselves the perpetual victims. But when did we become comfortable with taking the some and applying them to the all? As pole dancers we should know how destructive that is, as it is done time and time again to us. “People will get offended by anything” is at the very best a tired, indefensible, overly generalized excuse, and the worst an outright and oppressive lie. And honestly, I think we’re all to good to accept and perpetuate that.
These are just my thoughts, and I sincerely hope, nothing I have said here has offended or hurt anyone….but then again, I won’t dwell to much on my actions and their consequences, because people will get offended by anything.
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2 Replies
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I have had to have a discussion along these lines with my 15 year old son. He has trouble with a number of social justice groups that he believes takes things to the extreme. I had to point out to him that as a young privledged male, he needs to always take a moment to realize that he is looking at things from a limited point of view and to acknowledge that he may see things very differently from a different point of view and experience. I think that when we discount what an entire group of people has to say and feel about certain things because ‘everyone gets offended about something’ we miss so many opportunities to understand,be compassionate towards others and ultimately make this world a better place.
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I’m glad you have this discussion with your son! It’s alarming to me how easy and common it is for people to dismiss the feelings of others. Mad props to you! and I know at times I am guilty of it too. But each time a take a moment to take myself out of my shoes and be more compassionate I learn something new!
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