[SpyralBound]

I kept my normal profile and just made a list of friends called "No Pole!" for family, former teachers, coworkers, people I'm friends with but don't know well, etc. So whenever I post a photo or video pole-related, I set it so it can be viewed by all of my friends EXCEPT No Pole! I found that easier than making a pole-friendly list, because it was easier for me to come up with people who I *don't* want to see me pole than those I am okay with. And now whenever I add a new friend or get added by someone, I always make sure to add them to No Pole! unless I know they're cool with it.

And yes, Facebook is stingier than YouTube with musical copyright. YouTube will warn  you if it detects a copyrighted song on your video, but it will only take it down if there's a complaint (which probably won't happen if you have it set to Unlisted, which is what I do), while Facebook just skips the whole issue by removing the video automatically. Posting the YouTube link to Facebook (and making sure it's only visible to people you want seeing it!) is really the best route.

On a small side note, I sometimes wonder why people get so freaked out about employers checking them out on Facebook. It's SO easy, one of the most basic profile settings, to make it so that only the people you are already friends with can see your info. I have mine set up so that you have to be my friend to see more than just my name and profile photo. If you ask me, if you leave your profile open to the public, you take the risk of anyone and everyone seeing everything you've got to show.

[SpyralBound]

Is there anywhere that has demos of what this is? I haven't heard about it before now, and I'm curious, since a lot of my freestyle poling goes into that realm of "in the moment, musically-inspired movement." But the videos I'm finding on the website are just Sheila talking about S-Factor. But from what I've seen you say so far, it seems like it's sort of an individual/private thing and thus might not be the kind of thing you video-tape and share.

[SpyralBound]

Oh, the story of Pankake…

My real name is Marisa, but it's pronounced "Ma-ree-sa" not "Marissa." When I was a little kid and couldn't pronounce it right, I called myself Meesy, but it was only ever a FAMILY nickname, no one else was allowed to call me that.

When I grew older, I sometimes used it as a nickname with selective people, including my (now-husband) boyfriend's family, who adapted it to Meesa. Then, in a play on the word "marzipan" (a character in a web comic we were both reading at the time), Boyfriend started calling me Meesapan.

Which has spawned literally DOZENS of spin-offs on that theme, of which Pankake is only one. He usually calls me Pan, but he's also called me Panzer, Pan-shaped-one, Pan Flute, Pantomime, Pantera, etc. (Pretty much anytime someone says pan, or a word containing pan, when he's around, he'll look at me and smile.)

I liked Pankake because it's the only one that sounds remotely cute as a pet name (LOL) and just changed the spelling to make it "mine." Nowadays I usually use Pankake or Pankakez online. Sometimes I shorten it to PK or KKZ.

[SpyralBound]

I've never had anything good job-wise come out of Craigslist. I only got scammed once, and luckily it wasn't bad, I didn't LOSE any money, I just started working a job (from home – ghostwriting articles for the web) and didn't get paid after the first month. Luckily, very easy to quit, and they didn't go after my PayPal account or anything.

We're trying to rent out our condo right now using Craigslist and Zillow. Got burned BADLY by the last tenant we got off of Craigslist, partially because we didn't do enough homework on the person. She moved in, paid the first month's rent and the security deposit, and then stopped paying us and trashed the place. We had to replace the entire carpet because of her. 🙁 So I am definitely wary of Craigslist after that experience.

CareerBuilder.com has been my best resource and is how I found my current job (and scored all the interviews that preceded it). There ARE scams, but it's less like Craigslist in that the scams usually come to you. There aren't very many illegitimate job postings, but you will get emails from random people saying they saw your resume/CV on Craigslist and then usually point you to a link to set up a time for an interview, or try to entice you by promising a certain amount of pay up-front or the perk of being able to work from home. It's pretty easy to tell the difference between legit inquiries and spam, though.

Good luck!

[SpyralBound]

@Glitter, I'm doing the same thing! Only englann86 (Danielle) is helping me because I can't sew very well, LOL.

I don't want to give away the surprise of my costume but I'm super-excited to pole in it. I'm still auditioning songs…I can't wait to see everyone else's costumes and dances. I cam imagine everything from the hysterical to the super-sexy to the downright glamorous. Should be fun!

[SpyralBound]

Runemist, I too am on Google+, but just because they don't have crazy games and apps and whatnot YET doesn't mean it won't happen. There's already talk about add-on apps, Google just hasn't opened the platform to third-party developers yet. I mean, Facebook and MySpace both started out pretty damn basic, and while Google+ is starting far ahead of where FB and MS did, it's still quite basic and will probably evolve into a convoluted monster the same way its competitors have.

It took me the better part of yesterday morning to figure out the ins and outs of the new Facebook and get all my friends into lists. They did already have the list thing looong before this change, I just don't think a lot of people used it. I used it mostly for privacy things; I had (and still keep) a "No Pole" list so that if I do post something pole-related on FB (which I don't do often), I can hide it from people who (a) I don't want seeing it, like my family-in-law and coworkers, or (b) have indicated to me that they'd prefer not to see it.

I think there's been a lot of very public backlash against the "Facebook get to decide what's important" thing. And what I think it is, Facebook wants you to tweak your feed and tell it what's important so it can give you more of that content, which is fine in theory but flawed in practice. For instance, if I mark a video from a friend as a "top story," will Facebook think I want more posts from that friend? More videos? More videos just from that friend? I don't understand its criteria, so I haven't been messing with the Top Stories thing and will probably just end up ignoring it.

(Sorry for the long-ass reply, I'm kinda techy so while I find the Facebook changes frustrating, I'm sort of weirdly fascinated by the impact it may have on the future of social media. I think it already pushed a lot of people to Google+ or other alternatives.)

[SpyralBound]

Polergirl, you made me laugh with your spaz comment – have you seen my Outtakes video? SPAZ!

I usually let the music dictate how I'm going to dance. I've spent a LOT of time crafting the perfect pole playlist with a mix of hard-n-fast songs (Supermassive Black Hole by Muse is one of them), mid-pace electronic and techno songs (I just did a vid using Thievery Corporation), slow sensual songs (lots of blues, R&B, Corinne Bailey Rae) and some very slow, ethereal, meditation-type music (like Enigma and Cirque du Soleil). Then I just put the whole thing on shuffle and dance to whatever comes on – although I will skip through if too many songs of the same genre/pace come up. I'm also pretty new to pole and can't do a ton of tricks, so I tend to dance around the pole more than on it, lol!

I have a lot of ideas that would put me in the category of a "funny" dancer, if such category exists. For instance, for the July booty challenge I wanted to do a wacky video to Queen's "Fat Bottom Girls" but ended up taking a break from pole that month to work on other fitness things. I know part of it is because I use humor as a defense mechanism when I'm uncomfortable, especially when I want people to like me. But I also like the idea of using the pole for satire or parody.

[SpyralBound]

The instructor in my class said the more you are "one" with the silks, the easier it is – that you should hold yourself close to them if you feel yourself falling back. This reminded me a lot of when I used to go rock-climbing (in a gym…I'm not *that* cool) because a lot of the same principles applied – don't try to hold yourself up by your hands/arms only, use your legs too and lean into the wall.

[SpyralBound]

I tried silks for the first time today too and it was AWESOME. I only got to do two things because it was part of a sampler class at the studio, and it was the last thing we did, so we were running out of time. But I would LOVE to do it again and learn more. I just want to play on them! And the instructor did a routine that was just sooooo pretty. I can definitely see it being a good addition to pole over time because it is a full-body thing – which, pole is too, but probably not quite so much as silks.

Roamy, flying yoga sounds so cool! As a longtime yoga lover long before I was a pole dancer, I love to see crossover between the practices.

[SpyralBound]

Runemist, I think your advice comes from the right place, but have you ever heard the phrase "Don't feed the trolls"? I work on the web team at a local newspaper and for the longest time that meant moderating our forums and the comments on our stories. Trolls are persistent. The more you "confront" them or get upset at them or otherwise engage with them, the nastier they get, and they pretty much can't be reasoned with. Delete their comment? They come back with 15 more. Delete their account/profile? They create a new one before you can blink. We even had nicknames for them.

Sadly, trolls will be trolls, and because this is the Wild West Web, we can't just pen them up in Troll Jail. They deserve pity for the sad lives they must lead that drive them to tear others down anonymously, but that's about as much credit as I'll give them. I even managed to track down and identify one of the worst offenders on the newspaper's site and found his Facebook profile, and my little cyber-peek into his real life showed me he was pretty much a loser on all fronts.

Granted, what you say could be true, they could be new and not oriented to the loving, supportive, awesome atmosphere of StudioVeena.com. Maybe I've been made cynical by my troll-slaying experiences but I would vouch that the Laws of the Internet and Probability say the commenter in question was a troll and nothing more (you kind of have to be a troll to even be OK with attacking or belittling someone online). And 99% of the time, the easiest and best way to handle a troll is to completely ignore their comments and report them to the site admin. It's tempting to go on the defensive and fight back, but that's what drives them, and it's SO not worth the effort.

[SpyralBound]

Thanks for all the tips, ladies. I've been experimenting with different combinations of bras and tops – the only thing I hate about layering bras is that it tends to add bulk, and that's the last place in the world I need anything added on top of what I already have! I've been spending wayyyy too much money on clothes lately so I'm trying to make do with what I have. I wish bras in our sizes weren't so god-dang expensive! It's bad enough to have to look high and low and under rocks to find the right size, the price hike is like an extra slap in the face. "You're abnormal, in case you haven't noticed, so we're going to charge you more." What good is a stellar bra if I can't afford more than one at a time?

And Lyme, you're right, One Size Fits All is bogus. And I HATE camisoles/tanks that have built-in shelf bras, because the elastic just does not stay where it's supposed to and offers no support at all.

Currently I'm on the hunt for the perfect strapless dress for summer. I typically avoid anything strapless/halter/spaghetti-strap because of the bra issue, but I'm starting to be braver and more trusting of strapless bras – I have a really good one that I used for my wedding dress but haven't worn since.

[SpyralBound]

I've been hesitant to buy any sort of undergarments online without being able to try it on, just because my size can vary depending on the style of the bra. Sometimes my band size is 36, sometimes 38; sometimes a DDD will fit me better than a DD. So unless it's from chain store or somewhere local that I can easily return it, I try to avoid buying bras online.

Thanks for the offer, though. I know I'm not the only one on SV with this problem, nice to have company facing the same issues.

[SpyralBound]

Mechie, I found it's actually a bit more difficult to get it in and out in the shower, probably because your hands are already wet so it's hard to get a grip on it (definitely convenient for cleaning, though). However, I did find that "bearing down," as another poster mentioned (like you're trying to push it out) while grabbing and pulling is a bit easier, less of a "pop." I got that too, on my first few tries – and I do agree it was bettter/easier when my cycle was in full swing. Just takes some practice, don't panic!

[SpyralBound]

You tell it, NewSpirit! 🙂

I just popped back in to say… I'm on my period and I'm wearing white panties. Just like in the tampon commercials, only now I can actually do it without worrying!

Seriously though…a report from the newbie: I've gotten the hang of getting it in right, but taking it out again can be messy. Practice, practice, practice. (I think I'll take someone else's advice and do it in the shower.) In good news, I worked out with it last night and slept all night with it, no leakage or problems whatsoever. And even from overnight it wasn't even half full.

Kandipole… I would not try having sex with the cup in. It would definitely be an obstruction, and I don't think your partner would be thrilled about getting poked with the "stem."

[SpyralBound]

Ok, after reading this whole thread I was curious enough to go out and buy a DivaCup, since I start my cyle this week (I echo the three cheers for NuvaRing – yay for predictable periods!). So far so good. I can sort of feel it if I do a kegel squeeze but it's not uncomfortable at all and I haven't had much trouble getting it in. In fact, once it's in, it's like my vag sucks it right in! (haha… TMI?) The only discomfort has been getting it out again, but I think I just need some practice.

But I have one question…

How does one go about discreetly rinsing it out while in a public restroom? I can just imagine the look on my supervisor's face if she walked in to the ladies room at work to see me rinsing blood out in the sink.

[SpyralBound]

I've started apologizing to my foot every time I try another climb during practice. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif

During Wednesday's practice it actually swelled up a little by the end of it, I was just so damn determined to work on my Crucifix that day, as well as making my climb look prettier and moving smoothly into a Pole Sit.

Pain is often a mental thing as much as a physical thing. After my first pole sit, I had some trouble doing it again and again because I knew how much it would hurt. Now I just lift into it without thinking – and I've only been at this for a few months, so it's not like it took very long for me to get over the mental hurdle of the pain. But when I tried for Wrist Sit and had to adjust the pole out of my normal "sweet spot," the pain returned with a vengeance!

One last thing – sometimes too much pain might mean you're actually doing something wrong. I did a Reverse Handstand into an Inverted Crucifix but I was gripping WAY too much with my thighs and not enough with my knees, and it hurt like hell! So if the pain is just extraordinary, you may want to check your points of contact.

[SpyralBound]

Ollie – First, I totally sympathize with not being able to find flattering tops. Bathing suit shopping is its own special kind of hell. I'm happy to have found one that works – it's a one-piece with a little skirt and is specially designed to tuck the tummy, and I've also started wearing it for pole dancing, since I don't know any moves yet that require a P.O.C. on the torso. But it's also not very modest in terms of cleavage, and while I was able to do an Inverted Crucifix without flashing anyone, when I got upright again there was some spillage. I might have to try a bathing-suit/bra combo. And don't worry about ranting – I feel bad ranting to most of my friends because they don't have the same problem, they see me as lucky, so it's sort of a relief to talk about it with others who really feel the burden and can empathize.

The Floor Body Wave I'm talking about is the one where you're lying on your front, elbows bent and hands by your shoulders, and you start it with the booty up and wave forwards, the boobs are the last thing to wave but they are supposed to come up off the ground. It's in the beginner lessons. I loved the way it looked when Veena did it, so I was frustrated to find myself limited by my anatomy. It's one thing to not be flexible enough for something, flexibility can be worked on, but these puppies can only be helped by surgery.

Your bra size might also have gone up because by poling, you are building up your pectoral (chest) muscles, so bigger muscles might mean bigger band or cup size because the "fatty bits" have more foundation to lay on. Tovah is also right, muscle weighs more than fat. Weight is really just one way of measuring how healthy you are, and it gets an unfair emphasis in the media. I have a scale that I got from Bath & Body Works for $30 that measures body fat and water %, which is nice because then you can tell when you're just carrying a lot of water weight.

One last note, some people can only lose weight by changing their diet, some can only lose weight by adding exercise, some achieve the best success by doing both. I have found personally that I can exercise as much as I want, but I'm not going to see a change on the scale unless I change what I eat, too. There is no one-size-fits-all plan. The best thing you can do for yourself is try new things – variety challenges the body, and the body must adapt, which often results in a change of shape (even if that's not reflected on the scale).

[SpyralBound]

Thank you, ladies. 🙂

I do have a pretty decent sports bra, but it does double-duty between pole dancing and Zumba, so it's often in my bag at the gym (because honestly, what with all the jumping and bouncing, I kinda need it more for Zumba). The one thing I don't like is how it flattens things into a "uniboob" – not entirely sexy!

I left a comment on the Floor Body Wave video and Veena suggested that I do it on my hands and knees instead, so I'll start working on that variation and see what it looks like.

I really think bra manufacturers must believe that busty ladies don't exercise! And that the only colors we like are black, white and beige. UGH.

[SpyralBound]

I wouldn't go as far as to call myself asexual, but I do have a very low sex drive. Like Polecat88 said above me, when my husband and I have sex it's almost entirely for his benefit, I find I have a lot of trouble "getting into it" and sort of have to convince myself to enjoy it (or just grin and bear it). If I were single, I would probably be asexual/autosexual. I honestly feel like I could easily be celibate and sexless for long periods of time without suffering or feeling deprived. Sometimes I forget what it feels like to be horny! :blush:

That said, therapy has revealed to me that it's possible my current asexuality is reflective of some deeper issues in my marriage :-\ so I hesitate to say it's a permanent or automatic orientation for me. But I can certainly empathize with other women who don't really enjoy sex.