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I like the idea that “sex is in the eyes not the mouth”. That’s awesome. When you initiate eye contact you’re taking control of the situation. To illustrate: If you look into someone’s eyes and then look at something else, they will almost always look wherever you looked. I use this frequently on stage. Stare in his eyes for a few seconds and then look away and start playing with the strap on my bra, or my leg. If I look back up he is ALWAYS starting at what I want. I am now in control.
I often make and hold eye contact with a rowdy or unruly guy just to let him know I’m in control. But you really don’t have to hold the eye contact that long to make it effective. A few seconds is really sufficient. I find that what you do with your eyes right after starting into his sends as strong of a message as the actual staring. For example if you stare into his eyes and then drop yours bashfully down you’re saying that you’re shy, and what he thinks makes a difference to you. If you stare into his eyes and then you look him over you’re saying that you’re trying to decide if he’s good enough for you, or able to handle whatever you have coming next. If you stare into his eyes and then go back to looking at your body you’re saying that your opinion of yourself is more important than his and but he can look because you’re permitting him to.
That’s sort of a quick and dirty run down of how I think of eye contact with guys when I’m on stage…

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Try slowly lowering down as far as you can go and then lifting back up. Gradually you’ll be able to lower farther and farther down and lift back out of it. The lifting back up builds a lot of strength and also the correct muscle memory. Also I find cup (or true) grip easier than split grip (I don’t do twisted grip – not worth the risk to my shoulders and arms). You can also try standing on the ground, grabbing the pole in the proper hand position, turning away from the pole so your hips are facing up toward the ceiling and then pushing with your bottom arm and pulling with your top one. Slowly try just lifting your feet off the ground. Gradually you’ll be able to hang there. Once you can do that, then you can start tucking into a ball (or curling up to really engage the abs) and trying to lift your legs over your head. Kind of the same process as learning the basic invert – but in a different position.

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I’ve danced in strip clubs for years and the first thing I’ll say is I’ve never once had a “routine for the night” and never know anyone else who’s danced who has. It’s all freestyle, all the time. That’s important because what gets tips changes based on who’s sitting at the tip rail. Every stage set begins with reassessing the audience to try and figure out what kind of dancing they want to see. Some like sexy, some like cute, some like flexy, some like strength and pole tricks, most like some combination of more than one of those. So – the more you tailor your dance to what your audience likes the better received it will be. If you’re planning to dance for your significant other think about what they like. Is there a particular part of your body they think is sexy? Do moves that accentuate that part of you. Is there a pole trick that you’ve done that they’ve commented on? Do that one.
In a general “most guys will find this sexy” I would say eye contact and confidence. But that’s the only think I’d be willing to generalize on. Some guys like the sensual rubbing yourself all over and sexy floor work thing and some guys seem to think it’s really silly. And with some guys I swear I could go out there in a Big Bird Costume and do the Chicken Dance and, as long as I ended up naked that’s all they would care about. So really, do what makes you feel sexy, what you know (or think) the person you’re going to be dancing for is going to like and it’ll be hot! 🙂

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I feel that split grip and cup grip are both safer than twisted grip. Both in terms of body mechanics and in terms of not letting you do something you’re not ready for. I teach split grip first, then cup grip. Because of the way your hand is positioned on the pole in split grip if you’re using too much force (i.e. jumping or kicking into it too much, sweeping the leg too forcefully, dropping into it too fast) instead of using muscle and technique the top hand will pull away from the pole. Because of the way the hand and arm wrap around the pole in twisted grip (twisting the wrist, forearm and shoulder) the hand is much less likely to pull off the pole when too much force is being used. Instead the force is transferred to the shoulder elbow and wrist of the upper arm. In twisted grip you’re relying more on your skeleton than your muscles. Even if this doesn’t hurt at first (or doesn’t hurt enough to prevent someone from continuing to do the move) it’s this repetitive yanking on the joints that can cause long term injuries.

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Definitely look up some of the other discussions on twisted grip. There’s tons of great info on here. As an instructor I won’t teach it, because the potential for injury is so high, and I feel like it also allows people to get into moves that their muscles aren’t actually strong enough for. I can do it – but I learned it after I could solidly lower into and hold an iron X in both split and cup grips. And I still don’t do it often.

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Our studio only offers classes for women right now – guys have to take private lessons. But I’d love to have a co-ed or all male class eventually. I do a lot of partnering with a guy and he can definitely get a lot of the strength moves more quickly than I can, but I’m always better at stuff that requires flexibility. I actually find that because of his different center of gravity and upper body strength he has to think through new moves slightly differently than I do and I often will get a move more quickly if I have his different take on it. So I’m all for learning with guys!

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If pole two is the highest level offered by that studio then that’s where everyone is going to end up once they have mastered all the pole one skills. So, by default, it may be something of a mixed level class with people who have just “graduated” from pole one all the way through people who would be in advanced classes at other studios. So the picture might accurately represent just one of the pole two students. It’s also very possible that ayesha is a move that is taught in pole two (especially if it’s the highest level the studio offers) and you’re not expected to know it when you walk in, so I wouldn’t stress about making sure you know it before you go!

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I’ve knooked a couple of pairs (Knooking is a knitting – crocheting hybrid for those of us who can crochet but can’t seem to manage knitting). I’m currently trying to make a pair out of an old sweater from the thrift store – so far that’s going pretty well too.

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Roz “The Diva” is not super thin – and I’d say she’s well known.
Also, in my experience (well actually the experience of the guy I partner with), body hair and pole definitely do not always go together. He shaves his upper legs because he found that otherwise he wouldn’t have enough grip in a pole sit to hold me (and sometimes him). So I’d say that, in at least some cases, the lack of body hair is a practical concern.

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It's ok Chem – I didn't think you sounded bitchy.  You said exactly what I was thinking when I saw it.https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif   I just figured that on the off chance I was completely wrong someone would be able to tell me.  It's nice to feel like at least I'm not the only one who thinks that it's going to be a piece of crap when I tell her I don't think she should get it.  I'm also very skeptical of the company that sells them – since they obviously don't manufacture them.  

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I'd love to help!

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So by that set of rules – that receiving payment for performing on the pole puts you in the professional category – would a stripper who worked at a club without a pole (i,e she has never made any money from performing anywhere with a pole) be an amateur or a professional?

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In many ways I agree with LilithSamael and Aviva – after working in clubs for years there are certain things (like dealing with something going wrong on stage or knowing how to move on stage based on reading the crowd) that you do just "know".  And in some ways that makes you a "pro".  But not in every way.  It certainly doesn't mean that you know how to pole better – so if the competition is a fitness based one (i.e. more importance on execution of tricks than floorwork or dancing) then the advantage is really very minimal.  Also, no matter how long you've been a performer, of any kind, you're still susceptible to random cases of nerves before you preform.  You might be a little better at controlling it – or you might not.  

Also I feel like if you're going to ban strippers across the boards because of their performance experience – then anyone with that sort of experience should also be banned.  Any one who has ever competed at any kind of dance or fitness based activity – gymnastics, dance (ballet, tap, jazz etc.) cheerleading, hooping…. Only then would it be truly an amateur competition.  

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You've only been poling for a month.  Seeing changes in your body from any exercise can take many months to years.  It also happens slowly.  Take a picture now – and then take a picture again, in the same pose and place every month.  You might be surprised at the changes that are happening that you don't even see! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif

I agree with Runemist. How many calories you eat should not be based on your height and weight!  The biggest player in how many calories you eat should be how active you are.  The more active you are, the more calories you need to eat. Eating less calories than you need (especially when you're active) can actually be counterproductive because your body sees the lack of calories as starvation and starts to store fat to guard against this.  So, since you've recently increased your activity level, you probably need to increase the number of healthy calories you take in to keep your body from storing fat.  

I also agree with abcollins – you might be under muscled.  On 1000 calories a day, with your activity level, your body has a choice.  It can make muscle or it can make fat.  Fat is the safer option – there's more energy stored there and muscle requires more energy to run (hence the reason more muscular people burn more calories).  It's back to that, if you're working out you actually need to increase your healthy calories to stay thin thing.

And lastly, please don't love yourself "because" of anything or "in spite" of anything. Don't wait for some particular condition to be met. Love you for the gorgeous, intelligent, fun woman you are right now! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif

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Thank you ABCsofBejing for saying kind of what I've been thinking.  I don't think everyone thinks the same things are sexy.  I know that when I see people booty popping, body waving and doing floorwork  it doesn't look sexy to me.  After years of working in a club it's very hard for me to mentally connect that with "sexy".  To me, seeing that is about as sexy as it would be for someone who works at McDonalds to hear "Do you want fries with that."   I'm not saying it's not sexy to some people – and that's awesome for them.  I want them to be able to continue to embrace that kind of sexy, watch it, do it, and celebrate it.  

But I also want to be able to watch, do and celebrate the kind of pole that I find awesome and sexy without being afraid of being accused of wanting to take the "sexy" out of pole.  I don't.  For me the passionate, theatrical performances, the ones where someone is telling a story with their motions, music, props and body are by and far the most sexy. There might not be a booty pop, body roll, or floorwork in the whole thing. Sad, strong, funny, happy – for me it's the depth of emotion that is sexy, regardless of what that emotion is. Sometimes it's nothing more than the joy of performing something they love for people who appreciate it.  Someone is dropping their "wall" allowing us to see inside them for just a moment.  I don't want pole to be less sexy.  But I do want people to understand that when I say I love the amazing, gymnastic pole performances, I see sexy there too.