Serzi
Forum Replies Created
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Thank you so much for your response, Phoenix. It really means a lot to me that you would take the time to not only tell me your own story, but your encouragement and advice helps so much to soothe these difficult fears I have. Your words take me outside of my own situation and I see it a little more clearly. That is absolutely awful what happened to you and I am sorry for triggering your memories, but I want you to know I admire your strength.
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HR and corporate are not an option for this particular position. I’ve had to go above and beyond that at this point. And it’s pretty difficult when your boss has accommodated you by putting you on a separate shift, reassures you that he’s investigating it and believes you only to pull a complete 180 once he decides he’s fooled you long enough.
Yeah, I know, dumb move on my part. To think I could trust another human being even that much to be remotely decent or professional. Thanks for the pep-talk, I probably needed to hear that.
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I appreciate your input. I am currently searching for employment elsewhere as I battle this issue at my current job. I want very much to move on and put it all behind me. It is difficult to find others willing to speak about their own experiences and I do not blame them. Not wanting to address it personally is a huge reason why it has spiraled out of control for me. I’ve been married a very long time and sometimes forget that I’m still viewed as an object by other people.
Can I at least say that I’m tired of it being treated as though it didn’t happen or that “it’s not a big deal”? If it were any of these guys’ wives, sisters, mothers, daughters or friends they would lose their damn minds and woe betide the sleazy bastard that grabbed them like they own them. For that matter, what if a dude groped another guy at my job? They would probably punch his lights out.
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*others, not other’s
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It really relies on what your reason for dancing truly is. If you want to be an amazingly fit and flexy trickster w/ perfect posture and pointed toes then, yeah, it’s probably gonna take a LONG time before you’re satisfied. A few of my fav pole pros claim it took anywhere from 3-7 years before they felt they were “getting good”. lol
If you pole for pleasure, however, I’ve found it’s always rewarding. No need to get discouraged, just keep at it. Get lost in your music, enjoy THE MOMENT, become one with the pole. The early pains of new moves often wear away after you toughen up. It never really gets “easy”, but you build strength/agility/muscle memory and so it’s also never quite so “hard” as when you first started. You learn as you go. No one can teach you everything because your perception of your pole journey is unique to you. How it feels, how your body responds, your environment, your goals, your determination, your inspiration, your confidence, your body image, your strength, your time, your pain thresh-hold, etc.
For me? I loved it instantly. There was some cussing and discouragement in the early stages. I was fortunate enough to have my own pole, room, and a ton of spare time when I first started. How long before I could really do anything that looked good? Hmmmm, well, I’m not really an extremely confident person but it irritates me when girls are embarassed by their first pole vids. I try to keep a sense of humor about myself and appreciate my early videos as both a great memory captured on screen and a rare view into the innocent/humble/honest beginnings of an aspiring poler. I LOVE beginner videos because, to me, it’s the most beautiful and unpretentious part of the journey. It reminds you of what you’ve accomplished and how much you went through to get to that point. It HELPS OTHERS because they get to see you weren’t just born an awesome poler, that you made some of the same exact mistakes they did, that you suffered for weeks just to get a move you can bust out like it ain’t no thang now. lol
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To answer a previous question, yes, Metallica’s video for Turn the Page had some pole dancing. It featured the adult film star Ginger Lynn and she wasn’t half bad. She did a brief chair dance, a front (or back, not sure) hook spin, some sexy floorwork, and a V-leg wrist seat with her back to the camera. Alas…no inverts.
Others I can remember are Violet by Hole, GirlsGirlsGirls by Motley Crue, I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself by The White Stripes, and Tainted Love by Marilyn Manson.
In movies: Halloween, Rob Zombie’s wife Sheri did a front hook spin to the song Love Hurts (by Nazareth). Exit to Eden, there were some strippers doing some basic climbs and moves. I Know Who Killed Me, I think Lindsay Lohan did some stuff but I never actually saw the movie. Grindhouse: Planet Terror, Rose McGowan did some slight twirling I think. Suicide Kings, a stripper did some cool moves AND INVERTED…sadly it was a very brief, atmospheric strip club scene and the trickster was not a named character in the film.
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Things I say just do not come out the way I am trying to express. This issue with “the legitimization of pole” has hardened my heart beyond all words.
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lol I was just waiting for someone to take that example and completely throw everything else I said out the window. Why I even bother posting anymore I’ll never know. It truly is utterly pointless.
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*Olympic
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I’ve never understood the concept of breaking through barriers by putting up more of them. Basically, by doing such things, they tell society that there is something wrong with pole dancing. Any idea how laughable and hypocritical it seems to non-polers when people make these ridiculous rules? Get OVER yourselves, snobby didn’t-quite-make-it-as-an-Olymic-gymnast-or-ballerina-supreme. Having a closed mind yourself is not going to open the door to changing popular opinion. Quit rejecting the talent and support pole ALREADY HAS in favor of winning over the people who hate it.
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Well, your sn immediately reminded me of a lyric from Jimi Hendrix’s song “Purple Haze” where it goes “‘scuse me while I kiss the sky!”. I’m a bit old fashioned, though. Just what came to mind.
Anything dubstep seems to be the fav concerning pole these days. Any new fangled pop songs by artists I have no idea about are pretty popular.
You want my honest opinion, though? Pick a song that has always held great meaning to you. Your true self will shine on stage because you know every word, every note, and will dance from your soul. 😉
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Wow, my musical tastes don’t really fit in here.
I would LOVE to see somebody, ANYBODY, try to choreograph a routine on spin-mode to “Hallowed Be Thy Name” by Iron Maiden. It is my humble opinion that this would probably be the ultimate challenge for any dancer to pull off. It would be a masterpiece in my eyes.
Anything by Acid Bath. Personal challenge would be “Jezebel”.
For fun, I would like to see some 1960’s and ’70’s music being used. I don’t often see any pole routines to it or, if I do, it’s typically the same songs being used over and over again.
Most ridiculous songs I’d like to make a routine to? Probably “I Remember that Freak” by Cypress Hill, “Cherry Pie” by ICP, “Balls Out” by The Bloodhound Gang, “Whole Lotta Rosie” by ACDC, or “Triad” by Jefferson Airplane. lol
Fav popular pole song I’d like to try my hand at? “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails or “Glorybox” by Portishead.
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Unfortunately, I still can’t upload vids right now. Just imagine “Summertime” by Janis Joplin and me pouring my heart out on spin-mode wearing a beaded crochet tri top w/ cut-off jean shorts. Hair long and wild. lol
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Happy belated Birthday to THE BEST ONLINE POLE SITE EVER!!! Five years? Wow! I’ve been visiting on here for four, I think. lol
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Exactly. And that’s why I’ll never take part in another showcase again.
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And, once again, an organized pole event falls into general disarray due to miscommunication and venue bs. Been burned before by this type of nonsense myself and I really sympathize to those caught up in it. 🙁
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I’ve never understood or felt the need to exclude anything from pole. If an event organizer chooses to sell dildos at a pole competition or whatever it’s not any of my concern.
I will say, however, I’ve never personally been a fan of such contraptions. So long as I don’t have to promote anything in my performance or emblazon any of those brands on my body or pole (like a Nascar event) I’m okay w/ it.
I understand the argument on both sides of the fence but, still, no one is forcing anyone to take part. You can always walk out on anything that you feel does not appropriately express the image you represent.
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I am SerziQ on YT. 😀
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Yes, she is most definitely a sado-masochist in every sense of the word when it comes to pole. lol Whatever trips your trigger, I ain’t one to judge. 😉
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CAR to Bridge or Bow. Slipped out of it before and landed in a tripod elbow-stand sort’ve thing that literally saved my neck. Extremely scary, caught it on video, I know exactly where I messed up. Still, I kinda hate CAR now. The move has never appealed to me visually as much as the CKR and I’ve found many ways to transition from that instead. Some moves almost require CAR, so I deal w/ it when I have to, but if another move can do the trick why not?
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*it (not is)
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lol Reminds me of the time I introduced my cousin to pole. She was so determined her first day she worked for hours trying to do a basic climb and pole sit. We finished off with a round of spins and such until she wanted to stop. The next day when she woke up I heard her lamenting “OH MY GAWWWWWWWD! Is it SUPPOSED to feel like this?! You’re CRAZY! Ughhhhhhhhh!!!” While I assurred her that it goes away w/ time (and I had warned her to not over-do it) it was no use. She did not stick w/ pole because she couldn’t commit to it.
I guess Tom Hanks said it best in ‘A League of Their Own’:
“Of course the game is hard. If is wasn’t hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.” 🙂
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Idk, apparently we all have very different encounters w/ rude people or it works differently for different people. I go w/ what has worked for me.
It seems that telling people off or just making sure they know I’m not going to lay down and play dead everytime they start shit has been better for my psyche than the whole “pretend it doesn’t bother you”, “just ignore them”, “don’t waste your breath” approach. Been there, done that. Either I’m just plain doing it wrong or my mind lacks the dilligaf mechanism you all seem to have. Count yourselves very fortunate that it works for you, my inner peace seems to come only after some outward expression or it will build up and explode. My “let it go” does not exist without some sort of action.
Pole helps this, I am happy to say, but in a setting where I know I should call it like I see it I often take the opportunity because it’s direct and quicker.
Exhibit A: Chick constantly has a chip on her shoulder because she has zero patience for anyone outside her clique. She pushes the boundaries to see how nasty she can be. I tell her, flat out, “Don’t look at me in that tone unless you’re prepared to hear it. You got something to say?” Her eyes bug out of her head, she stammers, and then takes a step back. Avoids me from that point on and I no longer have eyes burning a hole in my back everyday. Life just got easier despite the adrenaline rush I inevitably need to recover from afterward. I’d rather feel a bit ill for a day rather than every single day trying to pretend I don’t notice or care.
Exhibit B: Loud, obnoxious douche who thinks and speaks highly of himself, but insults everyone else daily. He is particularly homophobic and obviously sexually frustrated because no women are quite as charmed by him as he is w/ himself. One day, I tell him so. I do so in a way that is as public as all his prior insults, but considerably more calm and honest. He spouts off a bunch of inaccurate observations about me, I laugh, he storms off. The next day he puts in his two-week notice, he is placed on a shift opposite of me, and I never see or hear from him again.
Exhibit C: I am new to a job. I say “Hello.” to one of my new co-workers, they ignore me. I continue to say “Hello.” just to see if the response will change. It doesn’t. While walking w/ another co-worker in the hall, we come upon the one that ignores me everyday. In mid- conversation, I work in: “…and there’s that guy who can’t see or hear me because he’s too HIGH!” This jolts the red-eyed jackass, quite possibly because he is genuinely baked and now quite paranoid. He acknowledges me from that day on.
These are just a few examples of how my reactivity has benefited me. It doesn’t always go quite so smoothly, it really is not how I like to behave, but it is a way to cope that often has given me more positive results than doing the “ignore them and they go away eventually” or “karma” approach.
Like I said, maybe I’m doing it wrong.
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Would do a video if I could. So, I’m gonna have to do mine in text for now and hopefully sometime here I’ll be able to record and upload a video. I really love this chalenge, GREAT idea!
Pole dance is one of the only things that saves me from myself. W/out going into detail (because I really am not even sure wth my deal is), pole stabilizes my moods. It gives me a positive outlet to channel all this built up emotion, aggression, and creativity within me that really has nowhere else to go. I’ve had many hobbies in my life, I’ve tried many workouts…pole has stuck w/ me the longest as it is now a part of my lifestyle.
Pole dancing is the opportunity to not only create but to become poetry in motion. To soar heights and swim depths simultaneously. It is a floating world between reality and fantasy, one of great beauty and chaos. The best part? It’s YOUR OWN world that you designed yourself. …And it always has your favorite music playing when you go there. lol
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Truth be told, my deadly sin has probably always been Wrath. I’d like to say I’m getting better at dealing w/ it, but I find that since people have no qualms about telling me how I ought to be that I must have a right to my own opinion too. Maybe it doesn’t change anything, maybe it doesn’t mean a damn to anyone but me, but at least I didn’t hold it in or project it onto anybody that didn’t deserve it. I used to do that more than half my life and I find that being passive never served me well. It’s poisonous to me.
And, a lot of the time, when I come to the defense of others it is really just because I am so sick of seeing people be ugly to each other without consequence. Karma really takes too long sometimes and, seriously, why tolerate that kind of abuse? They get so accustomed to not having their perceived superiority over others challenged that it’s kind of refreshing to prove them wrong from time-to-time.
Still…I’ll admit, you can’t spell “apathetic” or “empathetic” w/out the word “pathetic”.
