Serzi
Forum Replies Created
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SV is my only pole studio and, although I have been gone a very long time, I am pleased to say that I’ve never met anyone on here who has given me an indication that they were a sideline hater. This is, however, an online community so that aspect is taken a bit more lightly perception-wise than people I’ve actually met and see on a regular basis. I love how I can come on this site, though, and start a discussion like this knowing others can relate.
What triggered this discussion for me has a lot to do with what’s going on in my life right now. I try to keep it more of an open-ended discussion because the details of my current situation are not especially unique as they are confusing. Lots of people encounter others who mean-spirited with sugar coated shit for smiles. I understand that part of it, where I get lost is how I fail so often to SEE that before it wastes my time or interferes with me personally. How for years someone can be right there with you, not your absolute best friend but somebody that earns your trust enough to know a little better than an average acquaintance, only to find out they fooled you. That they are not at all what they projected themselves to be and have actively attempted to limit/hurt you whenever possible. I do not hold onto people like that, I let them go and don’t bother with sentimental fall-out for the most part.
It’s only myself I wish to change so that I don’t have to deal with this every couple of years or so. Perspective, I have a lot of it but it’s seldom spot-on regarding the intentions of those around me. I’m doubting such a thing can be taught, but I’m getting older and sincerely tired of unpleasant people. I don’t want to completely shut the entire world out and become a cat-lady, but sometimes it sounds pretty relaxing. lol
“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” -Mark Twain
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All great points here, I like where this discussion is going. 🙂
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I’ve only just got on this foam roller train and I wish I had done it sooner. I have yet to really see the results but just DOING IT feels so great for me! I have back problems and this thing has done wonders to help me sleep and move more comfortably throughout the day, especially after poling. I put it off for a long time because, really, I was like “That’s pretty expensive for something that looks like a $1 pool noodle” and I really hate that foam texture against my skin. So, I purchase one that doesn’t feel or look like that. It cost me about $30, the brand is Gold’s Gym, and it’s a 6″ x 10″ massage foam roller. Surprised to find out I love this damn thing when I’ve heard people talk so much about how tough it is at first. If I had this from the get-go, even before pole, my back-muscles and such would have been a lot less tender or sore.
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I suppose it wouldn’t bother me much if I could pinpoint them on sight. Unfortunately, my perceptions of people and why they do things isn’t always as clear as I need it to be. Sometimes I keep a bad apple or two around because I can’t tell they’re rotten on the inside. I also don’t pick or bite into them, I keep them on the tree until they fall off.
Okay, there go the metaphors again. People aren’t apples, but it sure would make it simpler if the rotten ones were. Bad people can go undetected for years and it never makes sense when attempt to hurt or limit you. I’m not even sure that they understand it themselves, but I sure wish I did at least. It would save me the wasted time and energy that I could have spent with somebody genuine.
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Exactly my point. Pole has always had a place for Olympic athletes. I figure enough time of us having competitions with our own wide variety of categories, performing and competing in larger outside events that welcome us, and our growth as a community will one day earn us a spot in the Olympics on our own terms. Yeah, okay, whatever if you don’t want to wear heels but don’t adhere to that bs as a requirement either way. Don’t let anyone force you to wear heels or to not wear heels because there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH EITHER WAY. To adhere is to admit fault in it and that is something I genuinely believe will divide and conquer this industry if we let it.
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Thank you!!! It’s a whole section of SV classic full-dance vid uploads. I may never get off this site once I start scrolling through these, watching, and commenting. I better go to bed or I’ll be up all night doing exactly that. LMAO
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I’ve always viewed it as you earn respect on your own turf, you don’t dress or act a certain way so people will like and accept you more. Trust me, they WON’T. We can either be the clowns of the Olympics or we can say “You know what? One day your corporate masters will be groveling at our heels because our industry has become so widespread, profitable, and beloved by so many. We don’t even need you to prosper as a recognized sport because we already are.”
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What you described made no visual sense to me. I am almost 6′ tall, I am all arms and legs, and I haven’t a clue how being tall/having long-limbs alone is preventing you from inverting. Are you reaching too high or too low? Are you keeping your elbows pointed down and pulling yourself straight up? Dozens of other questions without seeing a picture or video, sorry, I wish I could help. 🙁
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…unless you’re talking about unscrewing the pole itself. In which case, your X-pole should have included two metal sticks that you insert into the open holes on your pole. Using them to twist the B pole left should work like a charm.
If that’s not the problem or none of this applies, sorry. Anyway, I like your name. It’s my favorite song by My Ruin. 🙂
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Lefty-loosey. Over time it can get stubborn and trying to unscrew it in the wrong direction made it even more so. Be careful, you don’t want to strip the screw! One thing that may give you some extra grip on it is if you take a flat rubber band, place it over the screw-hole, and then use your hex key.
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I can’t be sure what you’re doing without seeing it, but I am also a tall girl and I know a lot about the struggle with inverts. It may not be a matter of strength you are having issue with, but body awareness and trusting those long limbs to safely execute the move. I don’t recommend this but, in the beginning, my frustration with inverting led to a lot of basically throwing myself into it. lol I eventually got over my fear and began to trust myself more.
I have been off the pole for some time since I became a mother and have been doing what I call a “manual rebuild from the ground up”. I have had the greatest success by first positioning at the base of my pole as I would in an invert (Gemini/Scorpio/shoulder-mount/crucifix), getting used to that feeling again to the point of as comfortable as it gets, and then attempting to lift myself into one from a standing position when I’m ready. I’ve found my inverts have three parts when I do them without a kick-up: Grip, lift, and hook. It sounds so simple, but it really has more to it than words can fully describe. A lot goes on in those seconds with your muscles, breathing, positioning and it almost seems unique to your own body as far as what makes it right for you.
I understand your frustration with this. In my very first days of pole I became so discouraged because it seemed impossible for me, and then when I started again after having my daughter I couldn’t comprehend how I had ever felt comfortable inverting the way I used to. I will say, take your time and let it come to you naturally. Do not force an invert because it’s not a safe way to learn. Keep at it, keep trying, but resist the urge to throw yourself into it. If you are feeling that your hips are not lifting you into position correctly it may be partially due to the flexors, but I would say your core is more likely the culprit preventing you from getting up and over in the tuck. Strength may not be the issue, but rather that you are not used to the position so your core is not engaged properly.
Just my two cents, hope this helps.
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I would love to see any movie theme inspired pole videos! Not just Striptease kinda movies, but if we took our favorite character or used music from a movie and created a pole routine based off of it. 😀
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I took it. Didn’t bother me at all.
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http://www.snaz75.com/boots.html
My go-to for all my sexy boots.
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The repetitive lifting of your own body weight (especially if you are into power moves/tricks) is going to build muscle mass over time. I’ve found that with pole it’s generally an even distribution of lean muscle, but everyone is different. I’ve always felt “big” so it’s not really an unwelcome change to firm up what I already have. If you are after a more lithe/petite physique and your body is a natural muscle builder then pole may not give you the results you want. I doubt you will look like a She-Hulk, but if sculpted arms and such are a turn-off for you I really don’t know what to say. You will build mass in pole if you go at it enough, maybe cut back a little on your practices if you think you’re getting too bulky for your taste? Idk. Your profile pic looks awesome and very pretty to me. 🙁
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Recovering sugar junkie here. I used to drink pretty much nothing but sweet drinks, especially soda pop. I went on The South Beach Diet (for other reasons) and it pretty much eliminates any use of sugar. After that, guess what? I kinda lost my sweet tooth. I almost feel my blood sugar spike into oblivion if I eat the things I used to or if I drink a bottle of soda pop and I really don’t like it. I enjoy my occasional dessert but, unlike before when I could make entire cartons of ice cream disappear, I’m rarely able to finish it all. Something changed when I took sugar out of my diet for so long, I lost the “need” for it.
Does absence of sugar effect pole? I would say it does. Sugar is quick buzz of dirty energy, it burns fast and leaves you tired. If you have a junk-food fix before you pole you’ll often find your quitting time comes sooner than if you ate a good meal. Certain things will bog you down, for sure. Sweet stuff is one of them.
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Hello and Welcome!!
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Well, whadda-ya-know. I have three job interviews lined up next week, underemployment check on the way, and my boss is being disciplined left and right for a wide variety of mismanagement. Add this one to the pile when the EEOC starts and I’m pretty sure he will be terminated along with my harasser.
This really wasn’t my goal. I never wanted anyone to be fired, but it looks as though that may happen. Oh, well…they sure didn’t seem to care how I felt or whether I keep my job or not. A lot of the other girls who have been groped by this guy have been complaining to upper management more too lately. I wonder if my report to the EEOC had anything to do with it or if they’ve just had enough bs too. It’s a pretty stressful work environment right now, a lot of people are talking about quitting.
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That was an awesome article, Marie! Thanks for sharing.
I will say that it makes sense how addiction is driven by environment, stress, and isolation more so than any physical dependency. I have smoked cigarettes for over half my lifetime and still struggle to put them away for good to this day. It is NOT the physical addiction at all, the effects of that go away in a matter of weeks. I once quit for over two years, but then my life changed for the worse and I also ended up sharing an apartment with a bunch of smokers. So, I of course started again. Not just because I couldn’t stand being clouded with cigarette smoke everyday (you’re immune to that smell when you are a smoker), but because my life sucked and there were very long stressful hours that I could do absolutely nothing but be alone with my thoughts. Having a cigarette was a five minute vacation from my thoughts. Not literally, but it took me back to a simpler time where I would sneak smokes at the bus-stop and hang out with my friends…not a care in the world. I still get that nostalgia at stressful times in my life or when the air outside is just a little too fresh at night and it reminds me of better times.
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I guarantee your mother calling him “weak” will stick in his mind like a damn sword through the heart. He hates his school? Let him go somewhere else because he’s not going to progress if you force him to stay. He will get worse and it will hurt him.
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Teenagers often experiment with drugs, especially if they have a relative or friend that does it too. It’s not usually just a matter of peer pressure and I really don’t believe in the whole “genetic predisposition” excuse people give. I have lost a number of loved ones to addiction and overdose (some to legal substances, such as ALCOHOL and PRESCRIPTION MEDS), and it seems that it always was used as a band-aid over some wound in their own heart. A way to make an emotional problem or a condition of life more physical so that it could be explained, excused, and treated.
Some just want to do it to see what the big deal is. They usually know somebody they greatly respect or admire that does it and think “Hey…they’re not a junkie or a loser. Wtf? I thought all people who did drugs are unsuccessful and living on the streets. This guy is the smartest dude I know, has a car, a house, a family, a career, a PHD, etc.”. This unfortunate “bum-druggie” stereotype has a huge impact on anybody who finds out otherwise, and they usually do because most addicts are not the throw-aways of the world but somebody greatly cared for by others. The only difference between a “bum-druggie” and a covert addict is their support system. A bum is thrown out or just plain alone in the world, an addict who is loved is likely to continue to succeed in life despite their addiction as long they can finance it.
Also, I do not know many potheads that become addicts. People who like the high they get off of pot tend to prefer it to harsher drugs because they want something that relaxes them and makes them feel good. Other drugs (including alcohol) do not have this effect and include physical illness as a side effect once you come down off of them.
All the people I’ve known who have become addicts of dangerous substances or have died of overdose were either extremely high strung Type A personalities who were experiencing an existential crisis prior to ever using drugs or devoid of their own personality unless validated by a group. It’s a difficult thing to name, but you know it when you see it and unfortunately it’s never something you can control. It’s up to the individual. You can offer support, but you have to immediately set boundaries and stick to them.
Your brother is very young. He is at the age where people start trying these things out of curiosity, frustration, general defiance, or just because…well…they’re bored. My advice would be to not make a big deal out of it, just talk to him. Hang out with him. Keep him busy and don’t give any hint of judgment because it will only alienate him further. Attempt to grow closer with him if you want to understand what it’s really about because I guarantee he’s not an addict at this stage. Be the positive change in his life if he needs one. Sometimes all it takes is one person’s presence in another’s life to completely change their path. Sometimes it takes a lot more. And, sometimes, you just gotta let them be and hope they will figure it out for themselves.
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Is this pole available for purchase anymore or was this a limited release? Was such a badass pole.
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Hello!
You are most certainly not alone in this struggle, but finding your own balance and inner peace will most likely be entirely unique to you. I don’t feel right telling you what depression is or isn’t, but I can offer a little insight into what it has been for me personally.
I am 30 years old. I have had issues all my life with instability (mentally, physically, emotionally) and when I was the age that you are now it became almost unbearable. I will spare you the specific details but, once again, please do not feel that you are entirely alone or that you should “suck it up, buttercup”.
Many people are completely ignorant of what you’re going through. They get a case of “the blues” when something doesn’t go well for them (break-up, financial stress, school, work, somebody messed up their latte’ at Starbucks) and then they bounce back into full function in a fairly short amount of time. Depression, however, is all-encompassing. It has no trigger, it is a part of you, it usually has cycles that you can recognize over time but never feel fully in control of. This is why some who suffer from it try to balance out with medication, distraction, isolation, etc.
I cannot tell you what will work to help lift you out of the depths of your despair, but I can tell you what has helped me. Firstly, I am unresponsive to medication. I’ve tried a full catalog of antidepressants/antipsychotics/mood stabilizers/sedatives and the like. The side effects for me were terrible and nothing seemed to improve my functionality. I felt dead while I was on them, no drive to carry out even the most basic task, and I’m pretty sure that if anyone were to drop dead in front of me while I was on that junk I would’ve been unable to feel either way about it. This is not to say meds haven’t helped other people, I’m just saying that for some it is not the best option to deal with their depression. Talk therapy helped me, but it is extremely costly and without a compassionate/patient/trust-worthy/professional counselor it is no longer an option for me. I have learned to self-soothe through a book that someone mentioned earlier (The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Workbook) and I have also found sanctuary through dance.
The overwhelming feelings of dread and, at times, total disillusion of my life and societal role still hit very hard sometimes. I am not entirely where I feel I need to be and, worse yet, I don’t even understand WHERE that even is or how I’m supposed to get there. Sometimes I wish I could just think and feel the way other people seem to. How they remain unaffected and everything rolls right off their backs instead of crushing them. How speaking to others in a way that isn’t awkward, unnatural, boring, or distressing comes so easily. How perception is not an issue for them, or…at least it seems not to be. I often have to fight these thoughts because they only weigh me down further. I am not wired the same as “other people” and sometimes it flat-out sucks to have to reprogram manually for my own sake.
Seriously, that’s what it’s like some days. Metaphorically, I’m driving stick with barely a clue as to how it works, no one to instruct me, but full knowledge that I need to somehow make it work to get where I need to be. People with automatics fly past me effortlessly. Some say “What’s your problem?”, some shout obscenities at me, and once in awhile a kind soul will stop to try and help me. It’s unfortunate that no one knows how to drive this thing, you can only find out as you go. It does work, but finding out WHAT makes it work is constant trial and error. I will say, there are great minds that have done great things throughout history who drove stick and that somewhat fuels me to keep going. I don’t need to be destined for greatness, though, I really would rather be able to enjoy my journey. So I focus on my surroundings and the people who choose to ride with me instead of pass me by. I attempt to appreciate my own vehicle and continue to try each day to figure it out a little better. Sometimes I almost fly instead of drive…like an alien in a spaceship. lol
Sorry for all the metaphors, this is another way I make sense of my struggle. The formal diagnosis jibber-jabber is from a perspective outside of my situation, so I often redefine it in a way that makes sense to me. It’s your struggle, you can own it and make it work for you. This is your life, no one else’s, and you have every right to pull over, refuel, stop at rest areas, ask for directions, enjoy the scenery whenever you need to. Keep going, though, it’s a wild ride and it will surprise you how awesome the road less traveled may lead you.
I hope this helps. I may have trailed from my original narrative of this post, but I want very much to be uplifting about this. It is difficult to deal with depression and all the names associated with it. I suppose I’ll end it on this quote that has stuck with me since childhood:
“Of course it’s hard. If it wasn’t then everybody would do it. The ‘hard’ is what makes it great.”
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*months, not month
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Thank you all.
I have everything written down since this began eleven months ago. My waiting time certainly makes this difficult as the cut-off point to report such events is at 180 days…ironically the same time my boss decided to stop acting like my buddy on the matter. Although initially I did not seek to deal with this at all, I have done my homework over these past few month. I can’t afford a lawyer and, really, I don’t want one. I have reported this to Unfair Labor Practices and the EEOC. They are investigating and, even if it doesn’t help me, it may help the other girls I know who are too scared to come forward. I am very angry that I have to be the one to step forward while they all pretend they never told me their own issues with this guy, but…whatever, I understand. Hopefully they get to keep their dignity and receive the help I didn’t.
I have no desire to stay at this job, it is not worth the pay as it is. No benefits, no vacation, tons of work, but I was good at my job and until that jackass came along I enjoyed being around all of my coworkers. Don’t worry, I’m securing another position elsewhere and continuing to suffer at my current job until I can put in my two weeks. Or, by some miracle, finally being taken seriously and not being retaliated against for whatever may happen.
