Saeth
Forum Replies Created
-
I’m a lesbian but none of the people at the two schools I went to know it. I’m not really one for dancing around going, “Hi, I’m a lez!” but if someone asks if I have a boyfriend, I’ll say I’m a lesbian and no one has asked yet, ha 😛 That and the whole “Oh you are? Do you fancy me then?” is just my nightmare scenario. That and I’ve been wary of saying I am in dance class in case they think I’m going to perv or molest on them. Though sometimes it is hard when ladies are in little bitty shorts and heels, I’ve had to proverbially slap myself and focus on what I’m doing! It’s a blessing and a curse. I’m a bit of a perv like Polekat but it’s kept in check by my respect for the ladies. Also sitting there with dilated eyes and a drooling expression is a bit of a dead giveaway and will start all sorts of awkwardness lol. I’m really a very private person and as a consequence people get lots of shocks once they’re let into my private world 😛
-
What an awesome challenge! I’ve just got back on the net after moving two houses and moving back in with my family and doing my exams. Life has been really hard for me on so many levels and it’s hit my poling as well as my splits. All progress has just stalled, including pole! It’s really frustrating and I feel disappointed in myself for not sticking through with it all. I had to scale back my stretching to twice a week as I was just stiffening up too much and then everything in life just went crazy. I’m going to try once more to get back into the swing of things but my mood has been low and I think a lot of it is the Mirena IUD I had put in. I know I’ve had a lot going on but I’m usually tougher than this so I don’t think it’s just that.
Oh well, I’ll just aim for a summer restart!
-
The part of the video you need is from 13 mins 50 seconds onwards to try and adjust your pole without actually taking it down. Hopefully this will line up the line with the little cut out “keyhole” and enable the screws to lie flush. If adjusting it like that doesn’t work then it’s the length of the pole/extension that is the issue and you’ll have to take it down, change extensions and reinstall.
If I remember correctly from when I first installed my pole, those screws will not screw in flush or bite/lock to the pole if the extension is too small for your ceiling. Or is it too large. Both?! Either?! Sorry, it’s been a while! Anyway, the root of it is the extension is the incorrect one for your setup. Installing the pole isn’t technically hard, it’s just fiddly. Now, my ceilings are over 8ft, not 12ft like yours but I done mine without help. The top is top heavy so it can wobble about, that’s the only challenge really, along with getting it straight from top to bottom. You don’t need a builder to install it and by the sounds of it anyway he messed it up. Even if you just have a friend to keep the pole stable, it can make it easier. I just took my time, used my spirit level and was careful.
-
Have you tried to play them? You can see the thumbnails but if you’re logged out and try to view them you are told to log in. Gz on your graduation and the watch btw!
-
You can get sore knuckles/fingers, yes. There’s a number of things that can cause this. First the infamous “death grip” of pole newbies. Let’s face it, our instincts are to hang on for dear life when in fact we don’t need quite as much as we think. As you become more experienced two things will happen, 1) You’ll relax more and not hang on quite so grimly 2) You will become naturally stronger anyway and need to put less effort in for the same, if not more, return on your grip if that makes sense.
It’s important your body has rest days. In the beginning it is not uncommon to need a lot of rest days between sessions. A person is often unfit and weak. This means that you tire more easily and your body just isn’t as strong, flexible or adaptable so your recovery rate is very low. When I first started I was still sore four to five days after, it was insane. Now I do not suffer anywhere near as much. I know it’s tempting to train train train like some crazy pole bunny in the beginning but don’t do it. Resist the urge. You will be setting yourself up for injury, slow down your conditioning and put extra strain on your body. No one has ever regretted going too slow, plenty have regretted and paid the price for going too fast. Times of rest and recovery are vital for the human body no matter our fitness level or spot.
Another thing, keep an eye on your alignment throughout your wrists and ensure you are engaging your shoulder muscles. Not doing so can put strain on various areas of the body. Make sure you stretch out your arms, shoulders and neck after every pole session. It’s crucial.
-
That’s weird, could have sworn I wrote a reply o.o Welcome back Luvlee, I’m sorry to hear about your back injury. I bet you’re thrilled to get started again! Maybe you will progress faster having already had the splits in the past? It would be interesting to see 🙂 In regards to photos you may find it more beneficial to work out where to place your camera/phone/webcam to take your own photos. This way you can take the photos from the same spot. A few degrees of difference in angle can make it look like you haven’t progressed at all. This way you won’t be reliant on hubby either 😀
-
DLGBoricuaIVE: I’m hoping it were just for the photos but please be very careful about doing stretches on hard floors with the knees in contact. It’s possible to dislocate the knee cap and you don’t want that!
-
Gizy, I know it’s hard but don’t be hard on yourself. Our journey’s to a high degree of flexibility are highly personal and influenced by many things that are sometimes out of control. I try to focus on the fact that the stretching has physical and mental benefits for me rather than any progress I’ve made. I know that might seem a little odd considering the purpose behind splits training is to achieve the splits! But it’s stopped me from obsessing. You are making progress and that is the more important thing. You are taking the time and setting yourself to the challenge. This is what to focus on when you feel disheartened. You’re still more flexi than a lot of people out there too 😀
-
Ty ladies. I think really the proper root of the problem is the last two weeks I’ve just been slipping so much so I do not feel stable on the pole. Today inverted crucifix and general crucifix felt scary and my hands were slipping even though I can hang onto the poles with my legs and invert with confidence. This is at home and at the studio. It’s frustrating so I think my hands seeming to be “in the way” is just my nervous reaction to what’s going on. On top of this I think I’m reaching a bit of a plateau where I can do quite a lot of things but then I’m not quite strong enough for the more advanced things and I’m slipping so it’s limiting my practice. Argh!
-
Ty Litlbit. I’ll definitely keep those tips in mind. The photo was one of my first attempts at Gemini. It’s much better now but I’m grateful for any tips given. I think I’ve been grabbing too high when trying to do the crucifix. I’m not sure if these tips will solve all my problems but they will definitely help, thank you! I’ll try to monitor more closely what’s going on. I find it a bit scary when I can’t re-grip the pole rapidly and securely because I just keep thinking if anything goes wrong it could lead to a fall.
-
Welcome aboard, Boricula and Sarah!
Neesy, taking into account the different angles of your comparison photos, I don’t feel you left side has gotten worse at all. Regardless if you have, we all have our off days caused by all sorts of things. You’re doing so well, keep it up!
-
I have problems with chrome too and in fact just had the most infuriating “practice session” on my home chrome pole. I couldn’t do a lot of the stuff I wanted to do. The pole just wasn’t holding the heat. I find then what happens is I get hot, the pole stays cooler even with me climbing it and sliding down it, pole sit, spins, planks, etc and then you can literally see the condensation where my hot hands have been reacting to the cold pole. Not only is it maddening but sometimes it can be out right dangerous. I live in the UK and so naturally it’s cooler here and high humidity by default. I have the same problem in the studio at times, but to a lesser degree. On top of this I do sweat. I don’t feel I’m an extreme or heavy sweater but I sweat to some degree. I would like to try brass myself as I’ve never played on it before but my pole is not even 6 months old so you can understand why I don’t want to invest in a change right now. I have had plenty of good days too but enough bad days to make me grumpy! I’ll have to try some of the suggestions here.
-
I finally got some pictures. I was convinced I hadn’t made any progress which wouldn’t be unreasonable considering I did nothing for a good few months, however, there are definite changes in the before and after photos for front splits despite feeling a bit stiff and off the last few days. To stop me and others from scrolling up to whenever I posted my starting pics, I reposted my dec ones (pink trousers) and the ones I took today (navy). The angle is a bit different on the two sets but I’ve figured out where to place the cam for future shots. I have to say, I hate middle splits, it just feels so foreign and “unsafe” and the stretching feels unrewarding. I don’t see any progress in the picture for them but it’s hard to say because of the angle etc. I don’t really mind, I’m more focused on front splits right now.
-
Joice: The Gemini and Scorpio are different moves though highly similar. There’s only a difference in which leg is hooking. With the Gemini, your outside leg is the one that hooks around the pole when you invert, and then the inside leg drops back and down. With Scorpio, it’s your inside leg that is hooked, and the outside leg (the one in Gemini that would be hooked) is back and down, to the varying degrees in the “short” and “long” Scorpio.
-
I was going to do some stretching today and post the pictures but my hip flexor is a bit grumpy so I’ll leave it for today.
I do have some questions. On Veena’s stretch where you lie on your back and bring the thigh to your chest, my leg shakes a lot. It’s weird. There’s no pain, in fact there’s no discomfort really so I’m not over stretching. Why is this? Also she says to lead with your chest and not your head and I realised I do not understand this term at all! Does it mean to fold down with your chest, then stretch forward, rather than stretch forward then down?
On Wednesday my fluid intake was a bit low and it was obvious in my stretching! I was going to take pictures but I was so inflexible it looked like I have made zero progress but I know I have. I can nearly touch my legs with my nose in pike/single leg pike stretches now. It’s pretty exciting. I’ve noticed also that my flexibility has increased in poling too even when not as warm, especially in flip split and side spin sit. I can almost touch my toes on the floor behind me while doing a sexy pike too 😀 No pictures of that because I didn’t think to monitor it O_o There wasn’t really any progress between Dec and Feb as I done no flexibility training, and there was Christmas break with classes too.
It seems my limiting points are around my knees and right/deep under my butt cheeks. I think it’s either the very top of the hamstrings and/or the adductor magnus muscle. Calves seem to be another limiting factor. It’s certainly proving an interesting journey so far.
-
I can’t really suggest anything as I’ve only used one product so far however I do want to say it should get better over time. When I first started out I used to sweat terribly because I was unfit and generally very weak. I used to slather on the liquid chalk and then keep doing it multiple times throughout the class. I was a walking chalk monster. Now it’s so much better though I’m still more sweaty than not. As you get stronger your grip will also strengthen enough to help you grip through the sweat, if that makes sense. I’d recommend buying a little hand towel you can take with you to wipe yourself off and the pole too.
-
I’d wait hun. I don’t have this piercing, I have labret, nostril, lobes, however some basic principles apply to all piercings.
1) It takes a lot of energy for your body to heal a piercing. It should be treated as if it’s a minor surgery wound. If I remember right it’s 3 months for a Christina. Seeing as your body will be under a lot of stress during training (mental and physical), it would be unwise to mix a piercing with this. Recover fully, then get it done. Stress can slow healing down by as much as 40%.
2) It’s very easy to think that it should heal fine but sometimes all it takes is one knock and then the healing can be set back. For this reason, if I knew I had to do something stressful coming up just after a healing period, I would get it done earlier, or wait. I allow an extra two weeks on top of the base healing time for all my piercings also to allow for set backs.
3) If you do get a piercing during a stressful period, then it’ll require more aftercare and salt soaks and even this may not prevent problems.
As for time off, I would give it a week and then carefully consider my chances of knocking it on the pole. It may be you have to scale your moves down a bit and do things that are more gentle or less risky for “crotch knocks” as I call them lol. I guess some slide moves could be at risk of knocking it too, or ultra flexy ones involving the leg. It’s hard, it’s not like I’ve sat there and thought “well I wonder how this particular area is affected?” lol. I would be wary of clothes pulling on it.
I can’t really fully answer how long you should leave poling after getting it done, if at all. If it is possible to pole with it, you may need to consider doing more salt soaks before a session, and a quick rinse after. Sweat and crusties can irritate the wound from being pushed into the piercing though. I know you can get a sea salt spray, maybe that would be useful to carry with you?
-
Your level is a lot higher than mine, Tropical, so I don’t feel I can give much advice. If you’re doing a show case this does obviously add some time pressure. If it were me, I’d find a couple of things I can pull off fairly comfortably right now and drill them so I’m ready for the day. Sometimes embracing simplicity is often a good step. It can be very easy to think of doing big flashy moves but “lesser” stuff can look fantastic when done well and with confidence. Same with holding things for a bit longer rather than knocking out move after move. I’m sure you know that already though 😛
-
I’m not at the point where I can do this while spinning atm however I have just started working on exiting while holding a V. It is very hard work! I find grace is often connected to our conditioning levels according to the move. I was surprised at how much exiting in a V hit my upper body and core. It takes a lot of effort to maintain a controlled descent. I managed to land one quite well and even though that was higher up on the pole, I then done a back bend and slowly straightened up. It flowed so it looked pretty.
When you say exiting do you mean specifically without coming down onto the floor, does that make sense? Like V’ing out? Or do you also mean things like basic dismount/snake, handstands out? Or both? Currently I’m working on handstand out, basic dismount. I’ll also keep one ankle on the pole and extend a leg. It’s a bit like a on the floor Gemini. I’ll also do a V or even a pike once my back is on the floor and I’ve detached from the pole. Then I’ll often roll onto my belly and do a flip split or reverse drive. At this point I can start standing.
Not sure if that’s of any help!
-
I know this feeling all too well! Reducing sugar for me was a multiple year journey. The biggest break through was when I went paelo for 2 years, that helped a lot, but not fully. Eventually my sugar cravings actually got worse and it turned out my body needs more carbs. However that journey me taught me I could manage with so much lower levels of sugar.
For me what worked was so very gradually cutting it back. I used to have 2 sugars in my tea. I cut it back by 1/8 each time over months. Lots of juice in drinks, so I scaled that back too. I set treat days for myself (twice a month, anything more starts the cravings again!) and refuse to buy anything outside of these days. There are no snacks in my house besides oranges and berries. Now, I’m no angel, I do sometimes break these rules, especially when stressed or unhappy however it’s limited my sugar nomming hugely. When I do it’s pretty bad I have to say. I’m talking 3 chocolate bars, a sweet drink, crisps! But my energy levels are better and more stable and I just don’t feel so “meh” since reducing sugar as a lifestyle thing. I find when I fall off the wagon, my food doesn’t taste sweet enough. When this happens I do a “sugar reset”. Drink nothing but water and eat savoury meals and limited amounts of fruit for a number of weeks and avoid all junk, savoury or not. That sets me right again and food tastes sweet enough without eating lots of junk.
Sometimes sugar cravings can be a sign of not enough carbs though that often isn’t common for most people. It can also be a sign of an imbalanced gut flora because there’s more bad bugs in the stomach than good. Guess what they like? Sugar! Sweet food can be a comfort/emotional thing. My point is what helps another will not help the next. I think it’s important to get to the reasons why you crave sugar and when. Keeping a dairy can help. Then like any addiction, you have to want to change and start the journey of that change. It’s not an overnight thing for most.
Not sure if that’ll be of any help or not, it’s just my experience 🙂
-
Shadow, as has become apparent, you are not alone. Depression is a very common problem (yes, even for your age group!) and the stigma that surrounds it still is absolutely ridiculous. I have experienced many types of depression: situational, hormonal, chemical and seasonal. It runs in the family.
Depression is highly personal, what is right for one can be absolutely wrong for another. We also have different patterns to our depression. For me ensuring I stick to a basic routine of meeting my basic needs helps prevent me from spiraling down. I’ve also learnt that being inactive while in a bad depressive attack doesn’t help me. It makes it so much worse. I have to mentally yell and scream at myself to get out of the chair. Even if I do something as mundane as folding washing, it helps. Eating meals on time, getting out of bed, drinking enough water, it helps. It’s tiny tiny things. Maybe it’s just me but I beat myself up more when depressed so by doing these things I have less to beat myself up over!
I second what Runemist said about “inviting it in”. Depression is exhausting, fighting it even more so. I can do things to help not make it worse because let’s face it, lying in bed while the house is a pig sty isn’t contributing to a positive mental state lol, but the depression is still there. So, I remind myself it will get at least a bit better at some point and just ride this wave and it’ll die out when it is so inclined. I can help it along by having a structured routine, making myself do things I know I normally enjoy (maybe to a lesser degree), and a healthy sleep routine. It’s taken me many years to draw up a plan of “self care” which works for me. I’ve accepted that sometimes I can be active and still not feel better however it passes the time which is helpful. It’s a small victory but a victory it still is.
Poling has proved to be my saviour mentally, even though it takes a heavy toll on my health condition. Even if I don’t feel better after, I’m having to focus so entirely on what I’m doing I’m distracted from thinking, “I’m hurting so much right now.” Physical activity can definitely give you a boost and poling is empowering which is good when you feel like this. I find music can affect my mood too. Sometimes I’m so miserable and hurting I just blast out the saddest songs and just embrace it. It still surprises me how therapeutic that can be! It’s a bit like holding in tears and emotion, it’s exhausting keeping it dammed upside. It’s better to just let it go under controlled circumstances rather than exhaust ourselves trying to contain it.
Learn also when to make yourself do something (like go out with friends) and when to recognise you’re best staying at home. I’ve had times when I’ve dragged myself out to socialise and it hasn’t paid off. I’ve regretted it and wish I had stayed home. There just comes times when I am so deep down in the shaft of depression, wallowing in the mud, bruised and broken, the last thing I need is to deal with navigating the challenge of being social and trying to be cheery and socially correct and deal with people being idiots. When I’m that bad, nothing from my friends/family will comfort me, activities won’t help. I just have to wait it out. I know some people say rely on your friends/family when you’re that low but I find in certain situations it doesn’t help. It takes a very wise loved one to walk this fine balance of supporting you but leaving you alone to breath and recover and keeping an eye on you.
Depression takes a lot of self knowledge and awareness. It will teach you some brutal lessons. It will teach you many skills and coping mechanisms. I know this doesn’t negate your suffering, I know this. Do not be afraid to try medication. Do not be afraid of anything, in fact. This sounds very strange, I know. I can’t make any promises that your depression will just one day go and never come back, of course I hope it does, but I can say that fear makes depression worse. Don’t fear it, when it visits we can learn from it and grow as a person. If we have a self care plan to fall back on, it’s less frightening and we can manage as best as we can.
Mindfulness, yoga/stretching, cognitive behavioural therapy, sunlight, meditation, medication, a good diet, regular exercise, therapy, regular scheduled sleep, avoiding alcohol (it’s a depressive), some natural supplements, a self care plan (including a crisis one), a structured routine and stress management/reduction have all proven helpful for many many people. Low energy activities which we normally find pleasurable (reading, drinking cocoa before bed, lighting candles, adult colouring books, happy TV/Movies etc) It’ll take trial and error, find what works for you, to what degree, when to use it and build it all into your self care plan.
As for educating others, I recommend having website resources or print offs/hand outs you can give to people. Explaining depression can be very tiring and we often can’t find the words. People usually ask when we’re having an attack too, I find.
I am sorry you have to live with this in your life. I understand your pain, I really do.
-
I can’t offer you a parents pov however I can offer you the pov of someone who was unhappy in her school environment and who has had friends who drank and/or smoked weed.
All the people I know who have smoked weed, which has been a lot, never touched hard drugs, even when they smoked large quantities of it. For many it was just a pleasure thing, for others it was a coping mechanism, for some it was for a new experience and to test the boundaries. Because of these things your brother’s use of weed isn’t that alarming to me. I’ve seen more of my friends hurt, long term and short term, by alcohol than weed.
I would personally be more concerned about the fact that weed is the symptom of what seems his general unhappiness or depression. This is what needs attention. It’s rough being a teen never mind when you are unhappy in your school environment. I’ve been in that situation. It’s horrendous. Right now he needs support and ways to help him cope. Look into seeing if something can be changed or added to his life to help him cope. Find out what he hates about the school. Is it the teachers, the other teens? Is he feeling under too much pressure from the school/friends/family? Is he being bullied? He has even made good friendships at his school? Perhaps it’s other factors too besides just school such as sexuality, worries about the future, the family, loneliness. He needs to talk to someone who will take him seriously, be non judgmental, truly listen to him and give him constructive ways to manage the situation. It needs to be someone who can remain emotionally detached and calm and compassionate. It’s important also that they look at things from all angles rather trying to press one persons view. It would be beneficial if he could choose who he talks to. Your family may think the priest would be a good idea, or the doctor, but your brother may feel no connection to that person which will not encourage him to open up. Don’t argue with him, just give him facts and ultimately, the decision is down to him.
And please, please treat him like an adult who knows his own mind. This doesn’t always mean giving him everything he wants but he must feel like his opinions and feelings truly matter. This was a problem I had when I was unhappy and no one took me seriously because I was “just a clueless teen” and it made things so much worse. It made me feel unimportant and that my life wasn’t my own. Especially because I was very self aware and mature for my age. There is nothing worse than being unhappy and people who are supposedly trying to help adding to the pain because they think you’re too inexperienced/young to know your own mind and own your opinions. Ditto to just being told to deal with it, suck it up or being too sensitive and that it doesn’t matter in comparison to the problems of other people.
-
Loves2Pole: I use a webcam on my PC. I’m lucky in that my pole is in my lounge along with the PC and there’s a window sill I can put the cam on. The cable *just* reaches! You can however get USB extensions if it didn’t. I did have to play around with it a lot at first and it does have to record sideways for it to capture all of me. This is because it’s in a widescreen format. My webcam shoots in 720p and I edit in Windows Movie Maker. It’s more than enough for my needs. I wouldn’t have progressed anywhere near as fast if I didn’t use the camera, it’s fantastic.
I did consider just deleting my practice clips but for me they are also very much a journal of my progress. I think from now on I’ll just record my first one or two attempts on both sides, then just switch off and do the same over the next three weeks (I operate on a 3 week training plan). That way I should get a good picture of my progress but it’ll reduce how much video is created. Anyway I’ll give that a go and see how it works out!
-
Hi Chem,
I do have some ladies boy shorts here but I’ve had problems with these too. The most common problem is the gusset being too narrow or the fabric just being thin/skimpy, or moving around or riding up. I could go on. I need look into Fruit of the Loom but they seem fairly hard to get hold of, even though the T-shirts are popular and easily available over here. With having so much challenge trying to find things that fit and meet the needs of pole dancing especially with moving into more open leg positions, I prefer to be able to physically touch things right now, rather than order online than risk wasted money. I accept that it could just be I’m wanting too much for my budget. I do want to try some KMK shorts in the future though 😛 I’m going to keep my eyes open for anything that might pop up here and there, I understand finding suitable things can take time. I’m in the UK and we don’t have a Target but our own stores which I go into now and then to check.
Never thought I’d see the day I’d need shorts, never mind more than one pair. The life of a pole dancer!
-
Sometimes even with the best diets in the world, good quality sleep, supplements, hydration, high fitness levels etc us ladies still get hit by the drain caused by hormone changes or problems. I think you’ve done all you can to support your body. We’re highly complex biological machines and the process of fighting off bugs (even those we aren’t aware of), child rearing, hormone changes etc can’t help but take something from the body, even if “only” energy. Be gentle with yourself. I tend to change my focus if I feel flat, for whatever reason, and back off from the heavy stuff, and yes, often stop altogether. There is no harm in taking a rest and often it has huge benefits mentally and physically. I know it’s not a “fix” but you know, sometimes there’s nothing to be fixed!
