[Runemist34]

Hey there!
An issue that lasts for 4-6 DAYS, and leaves you disabled in this way, is something I would definitely discuss with your doctor. Even overworking weakened muscles shouldn’t incapacitate your ability to move, unless you really ripped something or pulled a tendon.
Do you do any other kinds of exercise that may include the shoulders? Do you stretch often?
Also, the rhomboid doesn’t appear to reach up to, or affect the neck very much. You may actually have a trapezius issue, as those affect shoulders, neck, and upper back.
Taking some of the weight off your shoulders, and bringing your arms into play, CAN be helpful, but the shoulders are supposed to be able to take quite a bit of your weight, and the traps and lats are some of the larger, more effective muscles. Without those working, it would be very difficult to move around.
Are there any particular movements that you find especially aggravating to these muscles? Did this start at a time when you began working on a specific move? Does this ever happen during regular, everyday movements, or during other sorts of exercise?
Seriously though, a doctor would probably also be a big help (or maybe a physiotherapist).

[Runemist34]

Sounds like you might just have to keep working and practicing! The muscles might be tight or simply unused to the movement, and are trying hard to get back to somewhere that’s comfortable.
You can always see about getting your legs into the right position on the ground (though, be careful not to do both at the same time, as if you’re tight or your knees are a little weaker, this can be very difficult) and see if you can figure out what kind of feeling you’re going for.
You could also try working on one leg at a time, till you can do both. So, doing your hooked leg first, and letting the back leg just swing out back instead of trying to bend it into shape. And then, once you have that, you could work on the back leg. That way, your brain isn’t trying to do too much.
Takes practice! Not all moves come easily to everyone, and sometimes, some moves just don’t work for us. Just keep at it, and you’ll figure out if it’s for you or not 😉

[Runemist34]

Yes, and it does kinda suck. I haven’t been able to afford going back to a studio since the first one closed.
However, as you would miss the people more than the actual practice (since you can practice at home), why not find a bunch of them on Facebook? Maybe create a monthly meetup where you can all pole jam together, or even just go for coffee?

[Runemist34]

Actually, quite a few people find that this is their “issue” around beginning exercise after a long period away from it.
Those who are looking to “lose weight,” as in lose fat and see the number on the scale go down, can be very judgmental of themselves, and very frustrated when that number doesn’t magically go down immediately.
However, what you are doing is building muscle- the body isn’t going to just drop the fat content immediately, it’s going to respond to the exercise you are doing, which means building muscle.
The muscle will, eventually, begin to help with your fat-loss goals, and you will see change, but you must build it first.
Muscle weighs quite a bit more than fat, so the number on the scale may go up for a while, and then plateau, but you may see your body composition change during that plateau stage.

[Runemist34]

Yes, I feel the way you do, and yes, I understand your complaints and your frustration.
HOWEVER:
I have been poling for 6ish years (maybe 7, I can’t remember?) and I haven’t mastered the basic invert. I’ve been poling that long and still struggle with a thigh rest. I have been poling that long and have little muscle from pole, little change, and a whole lot of crushing self-defeat.
And, that’s the truth of it. I defeat myself, I put myself down, I don’t celebrate ANY victory. Ever. I don’t trust my body and I don’t try new things very much. I am often “On hiatus” these days.
I know these things are MY fault because I have been running for a year and a half. I started to see changes, after about 3-4 months. Changes in my knees, changes in how my legs move, changes in my stamina and ability. But, it was very consistent, slow, aggravating work. And I just kept at it.
Most people, after a year and a half, would be running well past 10k by now. Most can get to a half marathon (24ish miles), if not a full marathon.
I am only running 4 kilometres, working on 5. In a year and a half.
But I’m proud of my progress, and it taught me something. No matter how hard the work or how horrible you feel, you’ll always feel better after you do it. No matter how much you think you suck, you’re always working forward. Consistency is the only thing that will bring you results, and it’s the only thing that will really make you feel good about what you’re doing.
You will only get good at that Fireman spin after you’ve done it so many times you don’t even have to think about it anymore.

As for your other complaint, of weight:
When I reached adulthood, my normal weight was around 160lbs. That is where I stayed for years. That was my non-training, relatively sedentary lifestyle weight.
Now, with running, I am 200lbs.
I am 200 pounds because I traded in my body fat for a bunch of muscle. My calves are half again (at least) the size they used to be, and are powerhouses. My thighs are showing more muscle, and a bit less fat. My core is tougher, stronger.
I am NOT 200lbs because I’m fat. Or because I’m doing something wrong. Or because I eat wrong. Or whatever other thing people want to tell me. I am not unhealthy at 200lbs.
In fact, I am the healthiest I have ever been in my life, and I expect that to continue for a long time.
If I see more than 200lbs I’ll know it’s because I need that weight- and that muscle- to get my goals. I need it to make sure I can do the basic invert, and maybe even an Iron X one day.

There’s this stupid idea somewhere in society that if you are “fit,” you weigh less. It’s not true at all. Your weight on the scale and what you look like are completely removed from each other (well, perhaps not completely, but in a much larger way than most people think), and your weight has nothing to do with your health.

It sounds to me like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to progress, to be something specific, to see certain changes that may be unrealistic.
It also sounds like you’re comparing yourself to other people, and you’re finding yourself “coming up short” by your own standard.
Do not compare your blooper reels, or your life, to someone else’s highlights. Don’t ever think that the images on Instagram are anything but the best of what people want to show.
Whatever you think an artist does their art like is actually only 10% of what they do. The other 90% is the sketchbook, the messed up sentences over and over, the dropped stories that fizzled out and went nowhere, the pages and pages of drawn ears, the hours and hours and HOURS of doing one move over and over till they just can’t fathom not doing that move every single time they come to dance.
What you’re seeing is the culmination, the top of mount Everest. You didn’t get to see them climb every single stupid other mountain to get to Everest, or even the climb of Everest itself.

Your journey, in essence, is incomparable to anything else you see. Your journey is yours alone, and comparing it to someone else’s yardstick, someone else’s successes, is selling yourself short. It’s doing you a disservice.
You’re awesome, and you’ve gotta keep being awesome on that pole until one day you tell someone “Oh, Look what I can do!” And show them how awesome you are.

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
Well, first of all, congrats on your pregnancy! I hope that everything goes well, and that it’s an exciting and loving time!
For exercise while pregnant… well, there are a lot of weird stigmas around that. Back in the “Lady and the Tramp” days (Disney movie, was set in 1909) women weren’t even allowed to walk around, play with their dogs, or pretty much do anything else. If you had the money, you had a maid that took care of EVERYTHING. Seriously! And I think some of that old way of thinking still hangs around.
However, it is NOT 1909, and we can move away from it if we like!
So, first of all, I highly recommend checking out the Girls Gone Strong website- they have a lot of information about strength training and pregnancy. Most of them have all done it themselves! And, while pole dancing isn’t exactly the same as your traditional weighted squat, it has some pretty similar properties.
Otherwise, I know a few people around here did pole through their pregnancies, and were quite happy to do so. This includes inverting while pregnant.

As for “When you should stop” and all that, I think it really depends on your body. Eventually, you will be with a very large child, and it will likely be very uncomfortable for you to invert, or to achieve certain movements. Probably then, you can cut back to things that are more comfortable. At some point, you may want to remain grounded- or, you may not, and just stay upright. Or, you might want to just invert all the time and who cares what other people say?
In all, it’s about you, and your body. You get to decide what you are able to do, and what is comfortable for you! Slowly bringing your training back a bit as your body changes can be a good thing, and it can keep you strong and healthy, but still comfortable and happy.

And, don’t be afraid to talk with your doctor about what they suggest… and if you feel they may be using some very old ideas about pregnancy and fitness, maybe discuss that with them, too.
There may also be people in your life who are judgmental, who feel that you are not treating your body (or your baby) right by continuing to exercise through pregnancy. There may be people who feel that you are doing damage, or that you are acting in a very inappropriate way by continuing to dance and enjoy your exercise while also carrying a baby.
Please don’t listen to those people.

Do what YOU feel is best, for YOU! You’re the only one who lives in that body (and the only one who is growing that baby!), so you’re the one who has the ultimate say about what you can and cannot do.

[Runemist34]

I think working on Iron X sounds a little ambitious, but as you’re working on the inverted thigh hold, things like Scorpio are pretty close in the evolution.
And, it does depend on how you are responding to the work. Are the moves incredibly painful? Are you able to execute them at all? Are you comfortable saying “No, I can’t work on this one yet, it’s too hard!”? How do you feel about the technique with which you are doing the moves- are you controlled, or just flailing your way in?
I know a few people who just… manage to do it, no problem. They’re stronger and tougher, and they trust their bodies. Where I struggle to do anything upside down, one person who came over to try my pole was happily inverted (on the floor!) within moments, and had no issues. I watched, and made sure she was controlled, and not just falling into it.
So, while your caution is usually very useful and probably a safety net for you, remember also that you may be stronger than you think you are! You may also be more capable 🙂 It all depends!

[Runemist34]

Ouch, that sucks! Have you asked your instructor about it? No fun practicing climbs if you’re just ripping skin open, or aggravating it all over again.
I remember when I first learned to climb, I had some pretty tender areas, very similar to yours. I’ve torn some skin a bit on the top of my foot when climbing, but it was mostly because I slipped.
Sooo… I would say that, after some time to heal and maybe a little adjustment as to where your weight goes and how you position your leg/foot, you’ll see a lot less skin issue! I definitely had a lot of bruising at first, but I adjusted a bit so I wasn’t shoving all my weight into that one area of my leg.
Tough to describe, sort of like I just had to teach myself how, internally?

[Runemist34]

Not saying a 2 hour walk isn’t awesome 😉 And yes, I totally understand where you’re coming from about cars and being poor. I’m in the same boat. I always feel super lucky to get rides from my co-workers, or from my boyfriend (who is also paying for all the groceries and stuff right now, because I don’t get much for hours at work!!)
Hopefully a little bit of change to your routine will show a big difference to your mood and your energy! It can be really hard to make the changes, but super rewarding!!

[Runemist34]

Wow, that looks really bad! How many times are you working on similar moves that use those areas? Is this a repetitive injury sort of thing, or did it happen from just doing a move once?
I’m really sorry to hear this is happening :/

[Runemist34]

Wow, a 2 hour walk home?? That’s pretty far! People around where I live gasp in horror when I say I have a half hour walk!
I could see a crash happening after that, especially if you aren’t getting enough food in you. It’s really important! I have an awful time trying to eat enough food, and I really notice a lot of mood-destruction when I get… well, “hangry”!
Is there any way you might change or shorten your commute? It might really change your energy and your mood.
I’m glad you’re trying it out though 🙂 I hope it helps!!

[Runemist34]

I also should say… I struggle horribly with the Thigh Rest, or the Apprentice. Like, horribly. I don’t understand why, I don’t think it’s a strength thing? It’s super annoying. I should be able to do it. I should be WAY past it! Argh!

[Runemist34]

Thyroid can be an issue here if the problem has been going on for a long time. There are some other signs for it, and generally, we aren’t doctors, and you could totally get it checked in case you are worried.
However, there are some other things going on that might be very much use to you.
First, for your sleep habits, you could check out “Sleep Hygiene.” It’s basically a great way to help yourself get tired, and keep a routine, so that you are tired when you need to sleep. I follow this, and if I don’t, my sleep schedule slips really far out of whack. I don’t look at screens for half an hour before bed, dim the lights, no caffiene- well, for me, none at all, because it gives me migraines. I go to bed literally at the same time, as close as possible, every single night. Like, I don’t care if I work, or if I’m not, or whatever is happening, same time, every day. People want to hang out late? Oh, no, sorry, I can’t. You wanna go for a Timmies run at 11pm? Nope, I’m already in bed.
So, that’s helpful. I also find that napping can be very destructive to my delicate sleep balance, so I try to avoid them (though, when I have my monthly cycle, I tend to sleep a lot more, so naps are acceptable at this time).

Other than that, I find that when I get up in the morning, I am also fairly motivated to get things done. By the evening, it’s more like I’m wanting to rest, I’ve spend my energy, and I’m starting to wind down for the evening. I don’t get depressed, exactly, but I get more relaxed and a bit tired.
It sounds like you deal with a bit of depression in the evening, and I’ve heard of this happening to people at a certain time of day.
Perhaps, if you can, find a way to change your routine at this time. Right before you hit that depressed point, see if you can get some exercise going, or do something lovely for yourself.
Also, as this is a pattern, you can look at the patterns of your life, as well. Is there something that happens each day that you feel unhappy about? Do you get depressed consistently on certain days, and not other days? What happens on the days you don’t get like that (or, what doesn’t happen)?
Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and try to change things up.
It’s your life, and you deserve to be happy with it. Change can be really scary, but in the end, you’ll learn a lot, and you might find you are ultimately much, much happier afterward.

[Runemist34]

In general, any move that has me upside down, and especially if I’m actually facing the ground. Things like the inverted crucifix, which remains a major barrier to me.
I’ve found that, with practice and courage, I can get these moves, but it is a serious challenge every time, and learning to be more comfortable with them takes a very, very long time.
In a larger sense, I think this has to do a lot with trust in the self- I don’t trust my legs to hold me up like that, I don’t trust my arms to be strong enough to carry my full weight. I don’t trust my body to be strong enough, or to learn to be strong enough. I don’t trust myself to be able to move like the people I look up to.
I think all of this holds me back from any progress, and it’s a struggle to get on the pole right now.
February, though, is gonna be my “Get back to Pole” month. I’m looking forward to it!

[Runemist34]

If you’re having issues gripping your pole without boots, there are several things that can help you find grip.
Being warm, and making sure your pole is also warm, are very important. Make sure you don’t have any kind of lotion on your skin, as it can make you quite slippery.
Grip can also be affected by pole finish, your climate, the temperature of the room…
But, mainly, in your case I think it’s just practice. You’ll find your grip without boots, it just takes a bit of time to learn a different way of sticking to your pole.

[Runemist34]

“Like a lateral shoulder roll,” so is this move requiring you to roll over as in a backwards somersault? Or is this just a leg-only kind of move? Is there something specific about this one that is unlike a shoulder roll, or is that the basis of the move? Are you rolling over your shoulder, or something else? Are you laying on your back, or front? What are your start and end positions when it comes to hips, back, head…?
Is there possibly a video you could do, or show us, in order to clear all this up? Are you wanting to learn how to do the move?

[Runemist34]

Looks like there are a couple of Pole studios there, and that would be a good option.
Having one-on-one training from someone is often very, very expensive! Classes are a good way to go because you’ll get some direction and that social aspect, and if you have a pole at home, you can mirror the classes at home, and also work on some other moves that the studio may not do, or work on transitions and flow, which some studios don’t focus on.

[Runemist34]

Hey we almost share a birthday! Happy birthday!!

[Runemist34]

Veena’s got some really good advice.
Other things you could check out are some good yoga routines online (I really like Yoga with Adrienne) to keep yourself strong and flexible. There are a lot of paralells with pole and yoga that I’m enjoying right now!
You can also see if there are some ways to get to a gym and do some lifting. It may not be as exciting or fun as pole dancing, but it will at least keep you fit and strong till you can return to it!

[Runemist34]

There are a whole lot of threads around on the forum of people talking about their splits- in fact, there was a “Splits in 2015” thread that sort of died somewhere around August, but was quite full of interesting tips.

Mainly, you have to check to see if your hips are in the right alignment. I know Veena put out a video with some tips about that some time ago (sorry, time for me is a weird thing, it could have been one or two years ago?) and it would be worthwhile to check out, specially for your second question.

Mainly, you want to be as warmed up as possible while stretching, and being gentle. You should not feel pain while training for flexibility, just a sort of discomfort. Take it slow, and don’t push yourself too far.

Alethea Austin, in her Pure Splits DVD, talks about how it took her 5 years or so to achieve her splits in any way. People are all very different, in strength and flexibility, in what their bodies will allow, or take to easily. You may see a faster result in achieving your splits, but you might not.

Best advice is to be patient, and also consistent.

[Runemist34]

Can you link it for us? Is there a website to check out?

[Runemist34]

Everyone expresses their need for freedom differently! I think it’s great that you feel confident about showing off your skills, and that you’re confident in your body!
Just be warned that money is not often made through pole dancing, but through lap dancing, for most strip clubs. I’m sure there MUST be some out there that don’t do lap dancing, but they are very few. I know that I, personally, would be uncomfortable giving lap dances (especially having heard the various horror-stories that go with them), but if you want to try, then more power to you 😉
Some women LOVE stripping, love doing their jobs by dancing, and I think it’s awesome that they found their niche 🙂

Go forth, and explore! Confidence is one of the most sexy things in the world 🙂

[Runemist34]

What are your intentions for doing the audition? Do you intend to dance for people in a strip club, or simply audition, simply to say you got sexy on stage? Either is fine! Just being clear, for our sake and yours.

Sounds like fun though 😉

[Runemist34]

Nope, what is it?

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
I’ve noticed that a lot of people find a lot of benefit from going to classes in person, as they are a way of being held accountable- you go, even though you don’t really want to, and often end up having a really good time anyways.
And, this is the plight of “motivation.” Motivation, as a thing that applies to any hobby or activity, is an emotion. It’s not going to obey you, and it’s not something you can have every single time you look to do that activity. It’s something that is a bonus, the icing on the cake, that gives you a little extra energy, and helps you come to the activity with excitement, even if you aren’t doing anything exciting.
However, it’s not something to rely on when you want to pick up something as a hobby, especially exercise. Exercise is served best consistently, it’s something that we benefit from when done often. You need to put in the hours. This is also true of most creative hobbies, but most people aren’t looking to get strong or “lose weight” with a guitar. These results you will see from putting in the hours, and making sure you put them in.

So, even when you don’t want to get on the pole, if it’s time to get on it, just get ON it. Put your pole clothes on and do some things you like. Put on a song you’ve been jamming to lately and just move your body, however awkwardly, to it. Get sexy, or sporty, or rough- whatever you are looking for that day. Do it, because the hours you put in when you don’t want to are the ones that will pay off the most.
And, chances are, you’ll come away from it happy, or at the very least, proud that you fought your way through and finished it when you said you would. You’re making a promise to yourself, and then you’re keeping it.
No more racing driver’s excuses, no more listening to the emotional self (which, more often than not, just wants to rest or cry or watch cat videos, or whatever else), and get on that pole. Work it. Say good things to yourself about your working it. Tell yourself that sometimes it’s okay to be gentle if you’re getting tired early, or that you don’t ALWAYS have to work on the toughest moves. Work it because you know you want to, because your long-term goals are greater than short-term gratification. Work it because you said you would.

And yes, I’ve found the lessons on here to be more than sufficient for learning pole dancing 😉