RM2012
Forum Replies Created
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I am so grateful that vaccination is not mandatory in my country. My kids will not receive that (I am still suffering the effects from 2 of the 3 shots that I had) Wow that is pretty full on about the police arriving at the door!! At least there was follow up. That is what is lacking here with known cases of abuse and neglect, and drug use of parents.
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But that's just the problem, perhaps it's easier over where you are for kids to be removed from houses where they shouldn't be. It's not so easy over here, so an illicit substance would open the door for a way to remove children. Funnily enough, BEFORE I had the kids, I would have totally been opposed to keeping it illegal!
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Oh and thank you. My kids changed my life. They ARE my life! 😀
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I wonder if there is a difference in prescription meds here to the US too… (and here to the other side of this country of ours, also!) Medications on script can be a lot more difficult for many here and regular follow up is necessary to receive more scripts. There are also systems in place that support men & women past just the medicating, which is a good thing.
I totally agree that many people have children when they simply shouldn't (or keep them, when they are putting wants ahead of kids needs) But unfortunately in my own experience, those same people are the ones who opt for drug use (abuse) and drinking, smoking etc which is why my thoughts were being easier to regulate when the substance has not been legalised in the first place. Sadly it happens anyway, but if it weren't legal, there is greater support for law enforcement. It really is the parents having kids when they are not in a state to take proper care though, but I don't see much here in the way of protecting the kids (eg one little girl who has had repeated infections from STDs and *still* getting send back to her mother. That is utterly disgusting, but the law is limited) Child Protective Services do a great job, don't get me wrong, but many of the 'lesser' cases go without help. And so too do those cases that are difficult. I've got friends who care for children in the capacity of foster carers (something I'd LOVE to do one day!) and see so many failings for these poor kids. It certainly has influenced my opinions, as has watching my friends with theirs.
Thinking about it Chem, a woman I spoke with today told me I must be 'nicer' with my kids through the night (two still wake through the night) then she was with hers, and that she was not nice with them so that they would learn to sleep through. Bit of a shocking thing to hear for me, since that's what being a mum is! Kids don't wake through the night just to make life difficult for us…. it did show the difference in attitude we both have to our roles as mothers. So yeah, the indivual has a lot to do with it. I guess I still feel that legalising something makes it easier for people to abuse, and harder to prove the inproper use. But can totally understand the reasoning you have also. By the way, it's really not cracked down on here like it sounds over there!
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I wonder if there is a difference in prescription meds here to the US too… (and here to the other side of this country of ours, also!) Medications on script can be a lot more difficult for many here and regular follow up is necessary to receive more scripts. There are also systems in place that support men & women past just the medicating, which is a good thing.
I totally agree that many people have children when they simply shouldn't (or keep them, when they are putting wants ahead of kids needs) But unfortunately in my own experience, those same people are the ones who opt for drug use (abuse) and drinking, smoking etc which is why my thoughts were being easier to regulate when the substance has not been legalised in the first place. Sadly it happens anyway, but if it weren't legal, there is greater support for law enforcement. It really is the parents having kids when they are not in a state to take proper care though, but I don't see much here in the way of protecting the kids (eg one little girl who has had repeated infections from STDs and *still* getting send back to her mother. That is utterly disgusting, but the law is limited) Child Protective Services do a great job, don't get me wrong, but many of the 'lesser' cases go without help. And so too do those cases that are difficult. I've got friends who care for children in the capacity of foster carers (something I'd LOVE to do one day!) and see so many failings for these poor kids. It certainly has influenced my opinions, as has watching my friends with theirs.
Thinking about it Chem, a woman I spoke with today told me I must be 'nicer' with my kids through the night (two still wake through the night) then she was with hers, and that she was not nice with them so that they would learn to sleep through. Bit of a shocking thing to hear for me, since that's what being a mum is! Kids don't wake through the night just to make life difficult for us…. it did show the difference in attitude we both have to our roles as mothers. So yeah, the indivual has a lot to do with it. I guess I still feel that legalising something makes it easier for people to abuse, and harder to prove the inproper use. But can totally understand the reasoning you have also. By the way, it's really not cracked down on here like it sounds over there!
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I should add, I choose to labour and birth without drugs (my preemie was an emergency section, but no meds for the labour) and I also avoid paracetamol during pregnancy (there is a study on testicular problems in male foetus' in relation to panadol!) So I may be a little more on the cautious side than others 😉 Again though, I have seen the effects personally (which also taints my view!) But really, the theory that we should be allowed to put into our own bodies so long as it doesn't affect others is sound enough. But even soft drugs like pot CAN affect others. It can affect others when someone drives, is at work, or is in ANY position of responsiblity. What about someone so affected that they could not carry out normal every day activities safely? It does happen to those who overindulge!! What about the woman who should have gone to her antenatal appt but couldn't due to her state? Or the father who was meant to pick up his children from school? Or the mother who has little kids relying on her to feed & bathe them but isn't in the right state to do so?? I've known all of these people, and many more examples I've seen firsthand. That is my issue with legalising.
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Firstly, yes, there ARE people who come home to beat their partners after smoking pot only(Recently heard a friend make that same comment, unfortunately I know from experience that it *can* happen!) It is NOT the drug – it is the person. The drugs just make episodes worse, and give an excuse, they don't cause the violence.
I am studying lactation at the moment, and yes marijuana really is the least of the problems affecting mothers and babies through pregnancy & breastfeeding when we look at illicit drug use. However, how is legalising drugs encouraging good parenting? I had a VERY colourful life before the kids. Hubby and I were both regularly taking drugs (coke, speed, eckies and more, along with the pot and smoking) I was an entertainer, hung out with bikies and dangerous men, and knew infamous people here. When I fell pregnant with our first, it all stopped instantly for me. I was only 4 weeks along and already terrified I'd hurt the baby! Hubby didn't stop the drugs until right before the birth. I would not have allowed him to be present at the birth if he was on anything. And today, he is *the* most amazing, beautiful father and husband anyone could ask for!!! Especially dealing with having his two sons in multiple therapies and one seeing multiple specialists (one was preemie at 25 weeks and also has septo-optic dysplasia and developmental global delay; the other one was born with severe torticollis also causing delays). We both have friends and family who did (and do) use drugs regularly. And it DOES affect their parenting. Even 'just' regular pot use. So how would this be regulated to ensure that the kids are not suffering? My husband and I simply could not be the parents we are today, with even just occasional pot use.
It's also different depending on how/where it is grown. Very different. And that affects users, some batches are better than others. Then there is the case of unstable neurological conditions, existing or not yet diagnosed. These people can be a particularly vulnerable group to these differences. Yet we cannot distinguish them with the blanket legalising of marijuana. Medical use, as opposed to recreational use, has it's place in my opinion. The risks of synthetic drugs manufactured to meet demand and patented to make money have far greater side effects and dangers. But this is use in treating medical conditions, not handing out for fun and relaxation. I firmly believe that just because there are more dangerous drugs out there, that we should not legalise something which has the potential to affect families and allow children to suffer in their upbringing. I have sadly seen this with many hard drugs, but it does include those who smoke pot and cigarettes alone. And yes, of course those who drink too. But kids are the ones who cannot take care of themselves, if parents are allowing themselves to over indulge. And being legal, it would be far harder to regulate those situations.
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That's lovely 🙂
I did a burlesque performance 6 months pregnant with our first, it's just beautiful dancing with a gorgeous belly! (Didn't get to make 6 months pregnant with our second, but would have loved to do it again!)
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When I started pole, I was in my teens and performing. I had no cellulite (thanks to being young, and the years of construction work!!) I had awesome ab muscles, leg muscles, arm muscles (and still felt insecure, heh) Since the kids, I've got it EVERYWHERE lol 🙂 It spread with each baby 😉 Goes all over my bum, my thighs, even creeping down my lower legs now!!!! I was quite horrified to find it initially….. but you know what? It's NORMAL! I didn't get that at first, because it wasn't *my* normal (just like my boobs, I went from a B cup of perkiness, to bigger than a J with pregnancy and breastfeeding, back to a B cup – but NOT in the same place they used to be haha!!) Took a bit of getting used to, I am much happier now because I know it's feminine in a lot of ways. I have more curves now, and yes I look older and more stretched out but I think I look more womanly, which I would take any day! Besides – my body FUNCTIONS! I have two boys in multiple therapies, one who is having extremely challenging problems with his body and trying to make it work for him, and the other who also has physical disadvantages. So I'm grateful 🙂 And yes EVERYONE has these issues. I've worked with girls (here in Australia) who are well known in the industry and they are only human, it's something we all face.
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When I started pole, I was in my teens and performing. I had no cellulite (thanks to being young, and the years of construction work!!) I had awesome ab muscles, leg muscles, arm muscles (and still felt insecure, heh) Since the kids, I've got it EVERYWHERE lol 🙂 It spread with each baby 😉 Goes all over my bum, my thighs, even creeping down my lower legs now!!!! I was quite horrified to find it initially….. but you know what? It's NORMAL! I didn't get that at first, because it wasn't *my* normal (just like my boobs, I went from a B cup of perkiness, to bigger than a J with pregnancy and breastfeeding, back to a B cup – but NOT in the same place they used to be haha!!) Took a bit of getting used to, I am much happier now because I know it's feminine in a lot of ways. I have more curves now, and yes I look older and more stretched out but I think I look more womanly, which I would take any day! Besides – my body FUNCTIONS! I have two boys in multiple therapies, one who is having extremely challenging problems with his body and trying to make it work for him, and the other who also has physical disadvantages. So I'm grateful 🙂 And yes EVERYONE has these issues. I've worked with girls (here in Australia) who are well known in the industry and they are only human, it's something we all face.
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When you speak with them at your next appt, detail the workouts you do regularly (eg liken it to gymnastics or something similar!) When you explain what parts of your body you are using, they'll be able to help you better. My specialists told me to stay off it at the end even for basic spins and climbs. They did stress fitness is good, but to stick to things that my equalibrium wouldn't have trouble with (as you will discover, you lean waaaay back when you are pregnant! And it's easier to topple, also easier to damage yourself thanks to our friend relaxin… GREAT for birthing a baby through the pelvis, a little less great for everything else haha!)
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I did it for a living before I had the kids, so I had that title from then.. but it's totally different now, as it is purely for fun and fitness! I think it's individual, no-one else can tell you when *you* are ready to call yourself one… The kid who runs cross country in Little Athletics can call himself a runner, just as the professional athlete can. They are at totally different skill levels, but they both run… https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif If you are passionate about it, make time for it, and enjoy it – then in my opinion you can call yourself a pole dancer!
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I was told to stop pole altogether at around 5 months with my first pregnancy (wasn't able to pole with my next two pregnancies as I get complications eg second pregnancy I lost our twin, waters broke at 18 weeks, delivered our surviving prem at 25 weeks – so no pole for my 3rd pregnancy either!) They told me anything that puts pressure onto the baby, or has me laying on my back would not be good. And they also mentioned the relaxin hormone sticks around after the birth for quite some months (longer if you breastfeed) so to be cautious when getting back into it after the birth/delivery. All that said, you WANT to keep nice and fit to prepare for having your bub https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif It would be best to have a chat with your midwives/obstetrician about this – they'll be able to give you more accurate info about your situation. Different conditions in pregnancy will mean different compromises hun x
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Done sweetie. It's wonderful that you will be doing this!! I gave as detailed answers as I could, they might be long but I hope they help x
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Well, EVERYTHING changed with the kids lol 😀 So…. I love that my stomach is still flat after 3 kids, and that I didn’t get stretchmarks there. And odd as it this will sound, I love my scars (all over my butt lol I DID hate them for a while!!) because the scars come from the shots that keep me pregnant. My other loved scar is my caesarean, that is a recent love (it was definately a hated scar for a long time!) This is not an excuse, but to explain – we had our caesar bub (the others were natural births) at just 25 weeks. We’d already lost our twin, so for me the scars are a personal symbol of getting through these pregnancies and the great blessing that resulted 🙂 And a nice new way to appreciate my body, for the beauty of it’s function rather than just what it looks like. Your calf comment made me laugh! I am working on my legs hahahahaha!! Would be nice to have them back again lol 😉
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I had quite a few piercings when I started pole, navel was one of them (have taken it out since my pregnancies). I was an advanced dancer and did this as work for several years, never had any issues but kept to a plain barbell. Have you any other piercings? If so, how well did you heal? I tend to take a little longer to heal from piercings and I can't wear all types of metal, which is part of the reason I haven't had it re-done.
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*our
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Simplycountry – my prem is being tested every 3 months for possible CP, he didn't walk until over 2yrs old, around the pole! 🙂 Isn't it great that both are therapists have encouraged that? Whatever helps the kids can only be a good thing!!
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My kids are only little (daughter 3, son 2, youngest son 8 months) but the physio thought it was brilliant when she came for a home visit, as our son has recently learned to work (he was a 25 weeker) – around the pole!! 😀 My daughter loves to climb it and they think it's a piece of play equipment. I used to work as a dancer and that is of course something I'd never want for my little girl, so for me I love that she can learn how to dance if she wants to without any sexuality, that it's just for fun and fitness. Hubby thinks it's great for the kids to grow up around too 🙂
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I am so sorry hun. We lost a bub after our daughter, and we lost our eldest son's fraternal twin also. There are no words that can take your pain away, I wish there were. It's something no mother should have to experience <3
When it comes time to get back into pole, remember to be super kind on yourself. Your body has been through some big changes, take your time and go slowly into it – don't think you should be doing the same level if you are not up to it. You will get there with your dancing. Just remember that physical healing and emotional healing are very different things. Sometimes the pain inside can hold us back physically, and if that happens it's ok. So sorry for your loss x
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I take it this is just for US mums?
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I bought a 45 after learning on the 50s and 45s at the club. I loved it, but this is way back before the kids!! I tried a 38 brass this time but I'll be going back to SS instead. I love the static mode (especially as the kiddies always climb on/around it!!) so SS works much better for me. The 38 grip on the brass was awesome though! But I like the feel of the 45, just had that thought that maybe the 38 SS would be good…. I'll go the 45 though at least I know it 🙂
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Thanks for the input ladies 🙂
I'm really certain now 😀 It's just great to get other opinions!! Making a choice on a pole is a big call haha!!!
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I haven't read through all of these replies… but thought I'd share 🙂
I didn't get belly marks with my 3 babies, but I need injections daily to stay pregnant. Goodbye nice toned bum and welcome cellulite! And scarring. LOTS of scarring. My second baby decided to arrive at 25 weeks, via a lovely classical section (my other two were natural births thankfully). So there's another reminder for me. Then my last pregnancy made TERM 😀 Very exciting, also meant all my laparoscopy scars across my abdomen got stretched and 'lived in' along with my navel….
I used to dance for a living. I used to be toned, and a lot thinner than I am now (well, I used to have 'boy' hips, so that's actually a positive lol) Oh and I used to have boobs that didn't move when I jumped hahahaha! 🙂 Pregnancy (and pumping/breastfeeding) meant a big hello to gravity! But you know what, when I look at my beautiful kids, I am so proud!! My daughter just turned 3, my son just turned 2 (we lost his fraternal twin, and he was our 25 week preemie) and my youngest boy is 8 months old. Both boys are in therapy (physio & occupational therapy for both, speech & language and sensory etc for my prem plus a whole tonne of follow up and assessments!) Going through this has really changed my view on my body. I used to be sad about my muscles being separated, and all my scars, but then I look at the fighting these boys are doing and how far we've come in the therapy and how gorgeous my little girl is with her brothers, and all I can think is that I'd have stretchmarks and scars over every inch of my body if it gave me that experience again! It's not about not caring for me, I still get insecure at times, it just really makes me realise that how I view my body is not the way my kids view me. Now I'm either too busy to worry about how I look, or those times I do think about it, I know this was for these precious babies and I know that to them, I'm Mummy who fixes things and cuddles them and I'm the only one they want when they are scared or tired or sick. These changes to my body remind me that *I* have changed, and I am grateful for that change! 🙂
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You're in Aus too 🙂 Thanks hun, I feel the same with 50s and much prefered the 45. Thought I would love the 38 brass but I really enjoy the static mode (I know a lot of ladies like spinny mode better) I actually do feel the difference with the 38 to the 45 on leg grips, I didn't think there would be much dif when I got the 38 but there is! I never had a prob with the 45 for knee grip, maybe because I'm close to 5'8"?? I learnt with some tough pole ladies at work who taught me the descending angel on my second lesson and gave me tips to do the gemini and bow & arrow properly (I 'found' them accidently while playing lol) the first thing I was ever taught (and I'm sure I'm missing the name of this) was a handstand onto the pole into a cross knee release to pull myself up :/ They were *really* tough lol I've been much nicer on girlfriends wanting to play on the pole at my house!! I was working construction when I started so I had muscles, missing a lot of those along with my brain since the kids 😉 Did you feel more secure on the 50 for leg grips?? I really feel the difference in hand grip and never feel that great on a 50… Thanks for the reply it's been great getting some opinions. I am going with the 45mm now. Get to order soon we move in just over a week 😀
