What a difference a couple of months make

Originalribenababy started this discussion · 8/22/2011

I can't believe how downhill things have gone in just a couple of months. Last time I was on here I was talking about being determined to practice the knee hold to try and get it. Now part of me is wondering whether to carry on at all. Vertigo, low blood pressure and bereavement in the family have kept me off the pole for weeks and now my confidence is shot :( I know it's maybe just a rough patch but having a quick practice tonight I can hardly even invert any more. I was on my way to much more advanced moves and now I don't feel strong enough for beginner moves anymore. It's so hard not to feel disheartened, especially with things being hard enough right now. How does anyone else get through these tough times? (pole-wise I mean, the rest of the stuff will just have to run it's course)

12 replies

TinyDancer04 · 8/22/2011
Firstly, I'm really sorry to hear that things aren't going well in your life. I think you are being a bit too hard on yourself, it sounds like your really low on energy because of everything your going through. Your body has obviously needed a break to process everything. Go back to it when you feel ready - you don't need to force yourself before then. It doesn't need to black and white thinking either. I was going to suggest at maybe using the pole in your healing? Have some mood lighting and music, no mirrors, no cameras- no tricks (well unless it feels right) and just dance. Let all that emotion that you've been feeling come out In your dance. I completely understand your frustration at 'losing' some tricks - but trust me they will come back in time, right now it's about you reconnecting with your pole and having a good old dance- and a cry if needed.
Dancing Paws · 8/22/2011
I am taking some time away from pole and using other ways to strengthen. I started taking aerial silks. It helps me to have someone else forcing me to get into shape (instead of me being the one to get myself going.) I have been doing exercises to prepare my body for the moves, practicing all my basics, etc. I hurt my wrist, so I practiced all my easy cheesy stuff for a while. I bought a bunch of hopoing vids and started hooping. I started yoga again and started bellydancing on my own again (although you can go take some classes.) If you focus on getting back into shape in general, pole strengh will come back too. Don't get frustrated. I has off my pole for almost a year, so I lost ALL my strength, but it is coming back....slowly. I am battling similar things (depression, medications that are making me exhausted, etc.) I just keep telling myself that it WILL get better. I have noticed that I am getting stronger (the bitch of it is, I am still just as tubby, there is just more muscle under the fat, so all my clothes are tighter!)
tarah · 8/22/2011
hello, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I have to agree completely with alesha84. considering everything you are going through, it seems normal that you are low on energy. it doesn't usually work to "force" yourself to practice tricks unless you are feeling strong. I recently went through some grief losing a friend and just didn't feel up to poling. I still haven't recovered the strength and enthusiasm for pole that I had before. so.. these things take time. just go easy with yourself, know that you are not alone, and hope you feel better soon! ❤️
PlatinumAni · 8/23/2011
Many of us hit these periods. Maybe not the same specics but a time where poling just isn't the answer for the moment.Relax,grieve, vent to us. When you are ready we will excted for you. ? Keep up posted even if you are not currently poling. Would like to know you are ok. :) We are here for you!
PaulettePoles · 8/23/2011
I dont mean to keep popping up w what Althe Austin said in a workshop I just took- but she said so much worth hearing!! I got started right away and focues on tricks and was so determined to learn more hard stuff instead of the beginner moves. She came in and blew my mind. We did 3 hours of floor and chair work and she really stressed that this is the MEAT of pole and core strength- the moves, fillers, slinky snaky movemnets. Transitioning fro the ground then to the pole makes a whole new level and intensity in height. SHe couldnt emphasize enough to start w floor work and chair. BTW, I couldnt walk for 2 days after my legs hurt soooo bad. We NEVER even did a pole sit. The close as we got to the pole was practining holding body weight on toes- with her sternum body waves. SHe said poling and trick poling were pointless without the meat- twas pole dance not pole tricks. SHe was really passionate about it and really opened my eyes to slow down and REALLY learn the "beginner" floor moves and turns I skipped right bu to go to tricks! (which when executed s she was teching were not easy!) I had no idea how hard and intense these moves really were executed correctly, slowly , etc.. SO I would give yourself a break and start at the begining- it'll benefit you in the long run- Oh she really emphasized felxibility and strength fromground work training and explained how seamlessly when you were strong and flexible it would translate to the air. If you werent solid on the floor couldnt possibly be solid in the air! hope that helps! It did me!
tarah · 8/23/2011
Wow, thanks for sharing that, PaulettePoles!!
Originalribenababy · 8/23/2011
Thank you so much for answering guys - you really won't know how touched I am and how much better it's made me feel. These past 12 months have been really tough and I should think of it this way that I have been strong enough to survive so far. I do love pole and really hope I get my passion for it back - same as with everything it will take time is all. Think it would be confidence building to start really improving what I can do. I'm always inspired by people who make it all look so beautiful :) Thank you so much - you have helped me more than you know x
Originalribenababy · 8/26/2011
Sadly my father in law passed away this week as well. We're going through so much right now - suddenly the other stuff I was worrying about doesn't seem as important. I can only hope our lives are going to get better soon
tarah · 8/26/2011
I am so sorry to hear about your father in law. I'm not very good with words, but my thoughts are with you and your family. Sending you a big hug across the ocean... ❤️
Originalribenababy · 8/26/2011
Thanks Tarah. It's hard to know what to say to anyone at times like this - but anything is appreciated. We've got the funeral tomorrow which will be a tough day. I'm always terrible with the idle chit chat you have to at the house afterwards when everyone comes back. When my mother in law died just acouple of weeks ago I just slipped away and slept upstairs till people had gone. Has to be done, and it's just one day after all.
Lilypad · 8/26/2011
I'm with you, I think people feel obligated to talk to you thinking that you don't want to feel alone, that it would be cathartic and help you heal, etc. But there are times when silence, isolation, and rest help more. Pole-wise, you can channel all this emotion into your dancing. Pick music you love and just lose yourself.
tarah · 8/26/2011
gosh, i hope you make it through the day tomorrow without it being too terrible (even though i know it will be tough). i don't understand how people can "chit chat" and have a party right after a funeral. it's almost like pretending that everything is fine, when it isn't. i think it's important to let yourself feel the sadness, and to remember the person. so if you just feel like being alone, there's nothing wrong with that. i would definitely sneak away myself.. hope you feel better soon <3