What?

SissyBuns started this discussion · 5/20/2009

So I'm having this problem that I've always had and it's silly 🙄 but after reading over some other posts I think I may not be alone. I feel awkward practicing in front of my husband. I don't like working out in front of him either and I have no idea why! LOL I got my pole yesterday, I have been so excited and anxious to get it and he helped me put it up and I was all giddy and bouncing around. Finally he finished, gave it a good tug and was like "Here you go." I said thanks and went over to fool around on it. He sat down on the bed and was watching me and I turned to him and I was like "What?" He says "What?" and I'm like "What?" and he says "What?" and I'm like "Stop watching me" LOL and he goes "What?! 😮 What the hell did I just spend $300 for if I can't watch you?" 🤔 (You didn't know what could be used so many times in a conversation did you? 😉 ) It's odd but I've just always felt funny about doing stuff like that in front of him. I guess I don't want him to see me practicing and looking awkward and falling and straining and messing up. When he asked to put on some music and have me dance for him that was fine. But as far as when I'm learning I want to be alone. I wonder if I'll get over that eventually because we're basically always home at the same time. Maybe I'll just lock myself in my room for "Mommys private time" 😀

17 replies

FreeTheSun · 5/20/2009
I actually have the same thing except instead of a husband instert boyfriend or roommates. It feels weird to have someone just sit there watching you. It's a little better when he is working on his laptop or something but it is still odd with him sitting on the couch in the room. Can't he work somewhere else?!? For me, I think I don't like it because it takes the fun out of performing. If they've seen the work you had to do to get the moves the effect of the performance is dulled. I used to do synchronized swimmng and people who always saw the practices weren't too impressed with the performances because they had seen the moves so much, or they knew when anything was slightly off because they'd seen everything so much. Which is fine if you want critiques but if you just wanna perform for them for fun then it isn't as fun. Plus, pole has always just been my thing. I like to get lost in focus and not worry about anyone else in the room. If I had better focus I could tune out regardless of who is in the room, but it's not there yet. Maybe one day it will be, but for now I kick him out of the room and ignore the complaints that ensue.
Rara · 5/20/2009
After readin this I had to laugh, your not alone. When I first got my pole , i was the same way . I have 4 children two that are girls 12, and 14, that was just excited as i was. With all the excitement I could not get on that pole in front of everyone, I didnt want to look like a fool...lol . I never really danced in front of him , even tough I got some sort of dance background. My 12 yr old asked if she can get on it and try and do the showgirl move(front hook) I said yeah , go ahead....I was damn, she did it and it lookd so easy. I tried and fell to my knees. I could not lift myself to do one single spin, I was glad he wasnt watching. I started to practice while everyone was out of the house during the day, it took me like a week to actully spin around that pole. I started video taping myself to see how I looked. When i finally got a good one , and showed my boyfriend he was amazed. Even now he dont sit and watch me, I get to giddy and get focus. I do show him all my videos and he loves them. He even showed my May challege video to a few of his friends , and they were just in shock for what he says...lol. It kinda of make me feel good to know that when i perform that I am getting postive feedback. As for me dancing for him, Oh it coming real soon and when it does , he wont know what hit him...lol
azriel · 5/20/2009
Haha Sissy you're so funny! I had similar issues in the beginning, except for me it was the opposite- i didn't mind so much my boyfriend watching me practice moves (except for the very 1st day, when i had no clue what it'd be like).. but i really felt awkward dancing with the pole in front of him, even though i dance my ass off in front of him when we go out. Now i've gotten more used to it, and i actually wish he would watch me more.. I totally agree with FreeTheSun- watching the practices does kind of take the "awe" out of the performances, at least tricks-wise. But dancing is another story- i think a performance can still be extremely impressive if you learn to incorporate smooth and/or sexy dancing into your performance- even if the practicing and mess-ups have been seen a thousand times. Maybe you could just tell him that you just want to get a few practices in before he watches you? I mean, that is totally reasonable! But don't worry, i'm sure that the better you get, the more confident you will be, and you'll soon want to show off the new spins you've learned, not to mention he could be an excellent source for spotting for later moves! Unless you just want to surprise him with a performance- i see nothing wrong with just straightout telling him that you don't want him to see you practice so that it can be more interesting for him to watch once you've learned a few things!!
SissyBuns · 5/20/2009
Haha Sissy you're so funny! I had similar issues in the beginning, except for me it was the opposite- i didn't mind so much my boyfriend watching me practice moves (except for the very 1st day, when i had no clue what it'd be like).. but i really felt awkward dancing with the pole in front of him, even though i dance my ass off in front of him when we go out. Now i've gotten more used to it, and i actually wish he would watch me more.. I totally agree with FreeTheSun- watching the practices does kind of take the "awe" out of the performances, at least tricks-wise. But dancing is another story- i think a performance can still be extremely impressive if you learn to incorporate smooth and/or sexy dancing into your performance- even if the practicing and mess-ups have been seen a thousand times. Maybe you could just tell him that you just want to get a few practices in before he watches you? I mean, that is totally reasonable! But don't worry, i'm sure that the better you get, the more confident you will be, and you'll soon want to show off the new spins you've learned, not to mention he could be an excellent source for spotting for later moves! Unless you just want to surprise him with a performance- i see nothing wrong with just straightout telling him that you don't want him to see you practice so that it can be more interesting for him to watch once you've learned a few things!! I agree Azriel. I'll just practice while he's watching his boring educational history channel shows LOL. But I do totally plan on using him as a future spotter LOL. I can already picture him hoisting my butt up in the air when I start trying for a shoulder mount 😂
Kayla Bee · 5/20/2009
Lol. I understand how you feel. I'm the same way. As soon as my pole comes in my boyfriend is sentenced to his xbox in our bedroom until i say it's ok to come out! 😜
Foxy_Rei · 5/20/2009
😂 😂 😂 I laughed my rear-end off at the "what?" conversation because I've had that exact same one with my husband almost every time he watches me! I'm not sure what it is. It feels like a lot of pressure having those eyes on you. I wouldn't mind being a huge goofball and everything in front of friends, but the significant other is the one who seems to matter. Even when I do practice in front of him, I feel the need to talk to him constantly! Every time I stop to wipe off my hands or something I have to explain what I'm doing. Every time I fail at a move, I have to express the frustration verbally. Normally when I'm alone I don't even say anything if I hurt myself - my mouth is shut the whole time. It's like normally I can internalize all my thoughts and the thinking-through involved in practicing and it all just goes out the window when there's a person there and I have to say it all out loud. Loose focus completely. Unfortunately I'm in the same boat and have no idea why this is or how to get out of it. So I'll just commiserate with you! 👍
nikki_christie · 5/21/2009
You guys are lucky that your bf/hubbys are into it at all!! My boyfriend has a real bad mental image of poledancing (he thinks its slutty and not much talent involved), so whenever I practice (the pole is in the living room), I'm like 'watch me, watch me!! doesn't this look hard? huh? thats not slutty, RIGHT??? thas TALENT!!!', and he goes, 'yeah great baby, that looks hard' and keeps watching TV!!!! Although for some reason he wants a lap dance... stange how a lapdance is ok when poling is 'slutty'... hmmmm 🤔 So enjoy the support and interest, trust me, its worse when they just don't care at all.
lily · 5/21/2009
🙂 I get crazy nervous when my husband watches me! It's getting more fun as I'm getting more confident though. 😉
Rouge_LAmour · 5/21/2009
Mine usually looks bored. Unless it's a way cool move or me being sexy, he's just not that into it. guess that's what happens when they get pole on tap...
RoxyPink · 5/21/2009
I love this thread! My hubby and I had that same conversation in the beginning...but now I absolutley love it when I catch him watching me practice. It kind of forces me to add the "sexy" into my practice. I love watching him melt like puddy when I dance for him. It's strange....he has seen me mess up on moves, look like a totall idiot but yet when I flip the "Roxy switch", it's like he gets mesmorized (sp??). It's like the best of both worlds...he spots me and critiques me when learning something new...but is able to enjoy the final product! 😀
amcut · 5/21/2009
It used to be pretty bad for me! Now I just close my eyes. Any time I'm uncomfortable with an audience- close 'em and hope that despite nervousness that I am dancing to the beat. Matt's pretty.. not interested, though. Sometimes he'll sit down to watch me and then not even notice that he isn't watching. I caught him gazing at the spoon he was eating cereal with once. I was like, "Spoon Vs Wife- spoon 1; wife 0" and he was seriously convinced he was watching me the entire time. I was like, 'I EVEN STOPPED TO WATCH YOU WATCH THE SPOON'. Yeah, those are capitals. Not angry, but are-you-serious capitals. oi! He only really likes it when I'm practicing booty-things. Then he's on the couch making ridiculous but appreciative noises. AND HE SPOTS LIKE AN IDIOT. eheheh. I was once trying to Aysha, and it was time to fall- and the dip grabs onto my ankle. Are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS? And then he wonders why I stop in the middle of the "hey, can you come spot me" sentence and start dragging pillows off the couch.
untamedshrew · 5/21/2009
Yeah! I'm not the only one! My husband has been like "Hey, I thought this was my birthday present! I've had 2 shows in six months and I paid $600 for this!" He thinks I tricked him. I agree that seeing the practice, especially the screw ups, spoils the show. I'll have to tell hubby that. I get nervous when he watches, and even when I turn the camera on; I'll have to try closing my eyes. I'm definitely showing him this thread! Shy pole dancers unite!!
SissyBuns · 5/21/2009
Yeah! I'm not the only one! My husband has been like "Hey, I thought this was my birthday present! I've had 2 shows in six months and I paid $600 for this!" He thinks I tricked him. I agree that seeing the practice, especially the screw ups, spoils the show. I'll have to tell hubby that. I get nervous when he watches, and even when I turn the camera on; I'll have to try closing my eyes. I'm definitely showing him this thread! Shy pole dancers unite!! LOL @ a shy poledancer....it seems kind of like an oxymoron (is that the right word?) My pole is in my bedroom and lastnight my h whusbandent to bed around the time I decided to practice and he was just laying there watching me and I was like "Dooooooon't loooooooooook" and he was like "Fine, I'll turn my head." and he ducked his head under the covers LOL. He dozed off and I had myself some semi-private pole time LOL. I kept kicking the bed though, but luckily I didn't wake him up 😉
untamedshrew · 5/21/2009
LOL! Yep it seems like an oxymoron. My hubby recently complained I wasn't being sexual enough...Hello! I pole dance and take you to strip clubs! You can't pole dance without being in touch with your sexuality or sensuality. I tell my husband he has to sneak into the room to catch me practicing, or I get silly. 🤓
SissyBuns · 5/22/2009
LOL! Yep it seems like an oxymoron. My hubby recently complained I wasn't being sexual enough...Hello! I pole dance and take you to strip clubs! You can't pole dance without being in touch with your sexuality or sensuality. I tell my husband he has to sneak into the room to catch me practicing, or I get silly. 🤓 Me and my hubby go to strip clubs too but I think my expanding pole knowledge is taking the fun out of it because all I do is critique the girls and explain all the moves to him. "See that? That's a gemini, I can almost do that....oh and see how she just did that and then her legs came up real slow...that's a shoulder mount and it takes so much core strength...." after a while he's like 🙄 LOL!!!
FreeTheSun · 5/22/2009
There aren't many good strip clubs for pole dancing here but I do the same thing with online videos. I love seeing all you ladies dance so I watch a lot (not insane amounts but more than you're average joe) of videos back to back and after a while he'll start sighing and says, "Can't we just go to bed or something? Any time I see pole dancing now it's hot but I'm mainly thinking about how hard it must be." My roomates tease him that he has to take one for the team and suck it up otherwise he'll be like the guy who turned off free porn.
untamedshrew · 5/22/2009
Me and my hubby go to strip clubs too but I think my expanding pole knowledge is taking the fun out of it because all I do is critique the girls and explain all the moves to him. "See that? That's a gemini, I can almost do that....oh and see how she just did that and then her legs came up real slow...that's a shoulder mount and it takes so much core strength...." after a while he's like 🙄 LOL!!! Yeah, we ruin it for them! My husband gets mad that I talk to the girls. It makes them "real people" and then it spoils his fantasies. 😂