Unsexy Bringing Sexy Back

korinne started this discussion · 7/9/2013

So I just started my OB/gyn rotation. I'm working with vaginas 12-14h/day for the next 6 weeks. And not healthy, happy vaginas but vaginas with all kinds of pathology, stds, and babies poking out... It's really turning off my sexy vibe. I just can't get into the swing of bringing sexy back. That coupled with a few personal things going on with my family and my life, I'm just not feeling sexy. I tried... I even put on sexy clothes/shoes and danced around. Still wasn't feeling it. I guess I have 'sexy block' (writers block of sexiness.) I generally love to free style and floor work. This time, I just wasn't getting the same emotional release from it that I usually do. Anyone else feeling unsexy during these bringing sexy back weeks? Any other physicians/nurses/allied health professionals find that OB/gyn just kills your sexy,slinky feeling?

22 replies

PhnixxRed · 7/9/2013
I know after 2 kids I don't feel very sexy at all, especially down in my lady bits. I was a CNA and I've seen my fair share of angry vaginas. I would suggest finding that one song that you just can't resist dancing to, no matter your mood. It will take your mind off of your stressors and allow you to relax. I hope you get over your sexy block soon!
PhnixxRed · 7/9/2013
I know after 2 kids I don't feel very sexy at all, especially down in my lady bits. I was a CNA and I've seen my fair share of angry vaginas. I would suggest finding that one song that you just can't resist dancing to, no matter your mood. It will take your mind off of your stressors and allow you to relax. I hope you get over your sexy block soon!
HilaryKate aka LolaSlaytor · 7/9/2013
I know it's probably not super helpful because I am not sure how I do this, but I have a total separation in my mind between work and the rest of my life. I don't really find any of that stuff stays in my head once I leave the hospital - ESPECIALLY when it's a rotation that I don't like. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way immune to burn out, but even if I'm burnt out, I don't really think about the gross things I've seen. It sounds terrible - so let me preface this by saying that I DO see my patients as an entire person and not just another case or diagnosis - but when I'm focussing on a body part for a procedure or exam, I usually am thinking in such a clinical manner that the connection doesn't come home with me. Does that make any sense? You'll get through this funk and find your sexy again, don't worry!
verucablue · 7/9/2013
HA! Angry Vagina's - sounds like a band lol
yogabeachbabe · 7/9/2013
OMG--what an awesome thread! I can totally see how looking at unhappy vajayjays all day long can really take it's toll on you. Having said that, I have to admit that I don't find vaginas that esthetically beautiful. I have a great appreciation of them and I do care very much for mine, but that is not at all where I feel that my own sexiness comes from. I feel that my sexiness comes from my physical strength and from the confidence that strength has given me. I know that many women feel sexy wearing low cut, seductive, CFM pumps and while I wouldn't argue with that AT ALL, personally I feel super sexy when I float around the pole holding my weight easily off the ground or upside down in aerial tricks. I have to add, though, that I especially feel fabulous when my transitions are smooth and I'm not huffing and puffing!
blueyedgrl · 7/10/2013
I know exactly what you mean about how what you see affects your mindset. I have been an er RN for 14 years and have seen my share of "unpleasantries" of all kinds which will play on your brain. Have you read the 50 shades series for some good distraction from your thoughts? If Christian Grey can't get you more in a sexy mood nothing will lol;) Maybe try reading some of it or re-read a favorite chapter before you pole.good luck!
Sassypants · 7/10/2013
I haven't been in a sexy block so much as I have been in a dancing block altogether. It was so upsetting! Why don't I want to dance? I would turn on a song and dance for about 20 seconds and then be over it. I think I broke the dry spell today though. It sucked, but I had to face what I've been feeling recently, which is not incredibly happy and sexy. I've been feeling very sad about a particular person. So, I did the worst thing ever and went to those songs that made me think of him and danced my heart out. The song was over before I knew it. And I felt so much better afterwards... it was really cathartic. Pole is cheaper than therapy :P So, maybe you're just not in the sexy mood and need to work out some feelings before you can get "sexy." Although I still think my sad dancing was pretty sexy, in it's own way-- as yogabeachbabe said, a strong body is sexy by itself. I wish you good luck! Figure out what the real cork is and find a way to unplug it.
DharmaDancer · 7/10/2013
Being in the health professions myself, and seeing the gross that can accompany the physical self, I instead feel so grateful that right now at least, all my parts are intact and in good working order. Health and wholeness are gifts we may be forced to lose at any time. Don't waste time that could be spent cherishing your own sexy, whole, healthy body now, while you can enjoy and express it. The time will come for each of us when the beautiful pole days will be but a wistful memory, because of age, sickness, or injury. Don't lose sight of the beautiful while you have it. Feel for others; have compassion for their suffering; but let it remain their own so it doesn't mar the celebration of what you yourself have, while you have it.
chemgoddess1 · 7/10/2013
Kori, I feel bad for you. I know that this whole shift in your life is totally blowing right now and I am not sure if Monday nights are happening any more which used give you that silly release. Poling at home just won't do it....you need to be out and taking in a crowd atmosphere. Maybe hit the one gay club that has a pole with Pean and Melinda?
korinne · 7/10/2013
I am literally too exhausted to do anything right now. Working 14h shifts + homework and 4-5hrs of sleep a night. I don't see sexy funtimes happening any time soon.
chemgoddess1 · 7/11/2013
And this too shall pass. You knew this day would come when pole had to take a back burner to school. It is only temporary and then you will get your sexy beastly self back.....and I bet she will be different!
poledanceromance · 7/11/2013
I'm not a medical professional but I am currently sitting in my grandparents house watching an auction company strip any trace of their life from the home. It's painful and I'm angry and sad and not feeling even remotely into the idea of sexy week. Unless huddling in a corner crying is sexy but I think it is decidedly NOT.
poledanceromance · 7/11/2013
Also last year when BSB week came along, I was in the middle of a fucking atrocious moving process. I hadn't had my pole up in a month and then it would be another several months before I would get it up so it was a stressful time.
ORGANIC ANGEL · 7/11/2013
@Korrine I think seperating yourself from what you traditionaly view as sexy may be of some help. You say that the "unhealthy" vaginas are spoiling your sexiness thinking. To me sexy is a freedom. It's the uninhibited freeness I feel from not feeling stress and accepting me. For you to pole/floor for this try thinking of other things that make you sexy besides your sexual side. For example, I use all sorts of things my hubby does as forplay throughout the day. It can be random acts like loving our children, cleaning etc. So to do my bringing back sexy week I have something a lil untraditional rolled up my sleeve:) Try thinking of what other things are appealing in your day to day that truly makes you happy for inspiration.
ORGANIC ANGEL · 7/11/2013
Just saw the middle of the thread where u have a crazy schedule sooooo if u have to submit late so bad it....or whenever u r able:)
danzn16 · 7/12/2013
I'm starting my ob/gyn rotation at the end of July too! Excited and also not so much haha
Cara Christina · 7/12/2013
Korinne, I know exactly what you are going through. I'm a mother of two and a high-risk pregnancy physician so I look at vaginas A LOT. I've also been through med school/residency/fellowship. I wish I had some profound advice for you but I don't really except to tell you that you are not alone. The next year of med school and all during residency is a time when it is very very difficult to maintain any sense of self. You become a medical machine with occasional time to eat the crap that the caf serves at 1 in the morning and maybe sleep here and there. I think if you can find the time to pole, it will take you out of that world and allow you to reclaim some of that selfness that gets lost during this time. I find it to be an incredible release because it's so different that what I do on a daily basis. You need to separate the vaginas you see on a daily basis from your vagina and your sexuality. As physicians, we need to maintain a sense of empathy, but you also need some distance. Otherwise you will burn out and be no good to anyone. When you go to the studio, try to turn off that other part of your brain. I go from being a professional mother of two with a busy practice to a raunchy shameless sex kitten in the studio and it is wonderful. Good luck babe, these next few years are the hardest of medical training and there will be times you want to say fuck it. In the end though, it's worth it. I promise.
verucablue · 7/12/2013
It's so odd because my blog post for next Friday is actually about "Bringing Sexy Back" - I guess the whole UPA thingy is stiring up a lot of emotions for everyone
Marieke · 7/14/2013
Feeling sexy with pole and floorwork takes time. Take a couple of sexy moves, two or three and practice only these for a while. Don't hurry. You 'll see improvement In the beginning it feels really strange to do sexy floorwork. And now I love it. I have Alethea Austiin dvd's and they helped me a lot. Every sexy move starts from sillyness...Alethea says is in het dvd:)
chemgoddess1 · 7/14/2013
Trust me, Kori has no issue with being sexy. She has that crap DOWN.
SlowLearnerScottish · 7/18/2013
LMAO! This made me chuckle so much! I work in computer crime so I too see a lot of vaginas....though for a very different reason!! We call them "Shirleys" 😀 I'm fine with feeling sexy until I see photos or videos....there's thinking you're dancing like a sexy mo-fo then there's seeing what you actually look like!! x
SlowLearnerScottish · 7/18/2013
To clarify "Shirleys" are only the angry ones!!