Totally discouraged

FredeHC started this discussion · 2/15/2016

Hi, i am a 23 years old girl, 125 lbs but not sportive at all. Sorry for my english (canadian french) but 3 weeks ago, I started pole dance lessons. 5 lessons later, seems like my body do not want to do anything... I want it so much, i cried yesterday because I wanted it so much and i'm the worst of my pole team. Is there anyone here who under stand? This is my first sport ever, and my shape doesnt allow me to climb and make pole moves... I am so weak but all my body is in pain for 3 days when I go to a pole class. Want to find motivation, find someone who was not good at first and became great... Tell me i am not the only one.... :(

7 replies

Cherished · 2/15/2016
Keep going, It's ok to progress at a different pace than other people. I was awful when I started and now I can do moves that I thought were almost impossible for me to learn! I think the important thing for someone with pole goals is to be consistent with your practise. Slow and steady wins the race! I don't know if they have that saying in french but I basically mean don't focus on catching up with everyone else instead focus on getting into a practise routine regularly and stick with it. For myself that's always the best way to get results. Also don't worry about your body shape, just keep working on your goals consistently with enough rest in between for your muscles to recover and you will gradually become stronger and be able to climb and do the other moves you are trying to learn.
Runemist34 · 2/15/2016
Hey there! I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling discouraged, and that you're so sore after your pole classes! Like you, I didn't move much at all for most of my life. I started pole dance around the same age as you. It was so hard to even trust my body to do what I asked of it, let alone to have the strength for what I wanted to do, or the confidence. It was so hard just to do a spin or to hold the pole properly! I didn't know how my shoulders should go, or what to do with my back to protect the muscles and my sensitive areas. So, here's my advice: First, it sounds like your pole dancing class is moving too quickly for you! Withink 5 sessions, I could barely do a single spin correctly- there just isn't enough time given to each move, or to allow your body to adapt properly. You may need to grow your own pole dance slower, because your body is so surprised about being worked! Second, I would say that your classes are too difficult. You shouldn't be sore for that long! Sore for about a day, the next day after dancing, is about the right amount. You have to remember, you are doing so much with your body when you pole dance! This is very much about strength, and you are working your muscles hard. You don't want to push TOO hard, or else you'll end up injured and banned from the pole for a while! So much more frustrating! Third... try yoga. While I love pole dancing, and being unable to dance currently because of a shoulder/neck problem (I still need to yell at my doctor on Tuesday about it!), I found that yoga is a great way to move when I don't have the energy, and to stretch my muscles, and get a little strength training in, so that I'm more ready for the pole later on. Also, I do love the pole, but... It didn't help me to trust my body, and it didn't help me learn what I was really capable of, because I was afraid of it! Falling off the pole can be really scary, and some of the shapes we make can be dangerous. With yoga, it's safer, and you're closer to the ground in case you fall. I've learned so much through yoga, and it's helped my pole dancing like nothing else! I do yoga online, on Youtube, as I can't afford classes... and I'm uncomfortable working with myself that way in a group. I prefer Yoga with Adriene, and you can give it a shot, if you like! Finally, I know it can be scary, but I really enjoy doing pole dance at home, with Veena's lessons here. It allows me to move at my own pace, and to learn the way I need to learn. There are lots of resources, but Veena's lessons are one of the best I've found out of the very many I have tried. There are also some things you can do to help with sore muscles. Foam rolling is good, as is massage (if you can afford it). Taking a shower in which you alternate hot and cold (not too quickly, about 5 minutes each) can also help! Stretching properly, and NOT flexibility training, is also really awesome to do. For reference, I am now 30 years old, I run, do yoga, dance, and lift weights. I'm 200lbs and in the best shape of my life... and I used to never imagine I could do any of the things I do now, ever. All I used to do was sit in front of my computer, and struggle through work. When I was in University, it was all just sitting, sitting. I was completely unconnected to my body. I had no strength. It can change, it just takes time, and consistency. And, it takes knowing how much is too much, and how much is too little. You'll learn as you move more, I promise!!
PoleAdventures · 2/15/2016
Hey you Sorry too for my english, I'm from switzerland :) I fully understand you. I started pole dance 4 months ago, and I feel a bit strange when I say i do pole dance, because I most dance around the pole instead of On the pole. At the start I was very weak and not able to climb 1 second on the pole. I was not able to to pole hold lifts. I started with a pole class on level 0. The first of the first they had. We did things like the pole sit, pole climb, hold and spins. I felt so uncomfortable, all the other girls seemed to be stronger, better, fitter. I ever was unsporty, never found a sport that was the right for me. I was sooooo excited about poledancers, I ever admired this sport but thought I'm not able to do this. And in my pole class I saw this right. I WAS not able to do this. I finished my pole class and I was angry. Every muscle in pain and my feelings are so bad about this whole pole dancinng thing. I want it so badly. Then I overthoght all. I decided no more pole class but dance for myself at home with veenas lessons. I first concentrate on dancing around the pole. I record EVERY dance I make. My progress is slow, sometimes a move is better and sometimes not. Now after 4 months of strength training, around the pole moves, stretching I can say: I'm very happy with my decision. I have my own speed with learning new tricks, moves, spins. I decide what I learn, not a teacher. I learn what I want to learn. So, give yourself TIME! The strength and progress is coming! Dont haste the progress, concentrate on little things and do this what YOU LIKE to do. After my 4 months I come slowly to my first inverts and polesit. When something goes wrong, I go on and take another move. You can see my videos with progress, I was so unsporty and weak at the start. The dance was not a dance, it was a mess of weird moves :D Find a way that works for you, wheter you go in an other pole class, you buy a pole for your home, you dance around the pole and focuss first on this and strenght training or you continue trying tricks on the pole. We all start sometimes. Dont give up on your dreams and expectations you have in pole dance. We all have bad days, bad weeks......! Dont give up....the progress will come! I promise you! Kiss
LunaLovely · 2/15/2016
If you truly have no athletic background like you say, it's completely normal to not be able to do much at all after only 5 classes. You're starting from nothing, so even though you're really excited, you have to give your body some time to catch up and repair itself. You're sore for three days after because your body is not used to these exercises. You've broken down a lot of muscle, and now the muscle has to mend itself. That is how we build muscle. When I first started, I couldn't do much more than a back hook spin. I could not climb AT ALL. I still remember my pole instructor having to give my butt a little push up so I could move my legs up to actually climb because without that, I literally could not do it. No core strength, no upper body strength, nothing. Now a year and a half later this same instructor is teaching me intermediate and advanced tricks and I have the strength to do them myself. I don't think you mentioned how often you are taking these classes. When I started, I was taking one class per week, and that's basically all my body could handle. It would sometimes take a full week for me to stop feeling sore. In between that I would take a yoga class at the gym or do a more leg focused exercise at the gym. I guess my point is, let your body be your guide. Some people progress really fast. Those are usually the people that have some kind of athletic background, whose bodies are used to intense training. It makes no sense to compare yourself to them or anyone else. Each body is different. If you go to fast for or push too hard your chance of injury will go way up, and you'll start hating it. Instead of focusing on the things you can't do, start focusing on all of the things that you can and all of the improvements you're making, no matter how small.
Veena · 2/15/2016
I'm sorry you're feeling this way! Having no background in fitness will mean you need more time to develop both the strength and skill that's required in pole. Make sure that the studio you're going to understands how you feel and that they're taking the time to teach new students how to strengthen and condition before working on more strenuous pole work. Not all studio's focus on building strength and fundamentals first and this can leave some students feeling left behind! If you are interested I have a 30 day program for beginners who have never used a pole and who have no previous background in fitness or sport. It's part of the lessons so when you buy it's included. This program has helped so many who struggled with beginner pole work. Here's more about it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4KzMIIbZH0 Don't give up!!!!!
Serzi · 2/16/2016
You're not the only one who has started off feeling this way. Progress (at least in my experience) did not really start to show until after about 3-4 months and that was after going at it for about 6-8 or more hours a day most of the week. I've lived an extremely sedentary life so this is the most athletic and determined I've been to reach any kind of fitness goals. It takes a lot of time and practice. I don't recommend overkill practices and I rarely have time to pole like I used to. Strangely I think I progress faster at a slower more introspective pace. I examine moves closer before I try them and break them down using methods I've learned here on SV, from other polers, and my own experience w/ what has helped in the past. If you can't get something don't stress about it, work on others, come back to it later. Don't forget to lose yourself in the moment from time to time and let the dance guide you into feeling good. You'll get there, the beginning is the hardest because you feel weak. It's temporary. W/ experience comes strength and grace, but those breathless moments where you can only lay on the floor are going to happen. They happen less as you go along, trust me. Keep going.
stargazermomma3665 · 2/17/2016
I say give it time, don't rush yourself. No one walks up to a pole and just does awesome things on it. I have been poling for 10 months and I am still on the beginner lessons. I am not rushing things at all. I want to get good at the beginner stuff before I move on and it doesn't matter to me how long that takes. Everyone is different. Take your time, have fun and relax. A positive attitude will get you farther along. Putting too much pressure on yourself is going to cause frustration and resentment and possibly injuries. Enjoy your journey in poling!