Torn...Posting Pictures and Videos and Privacy Issues

verucablue started this discussion · 2/14/2010

Okay so one of my New Year resolutions was to actually try and do some more of the challenges...of which a few I have actually bothered to video tape 😂 but I am having issues posting them in fact I am about to yank down the one video I have up - which is super tame and just a warm up... So here's my question...does anyone ever run into weird privacy issues...for example I have no issues with anyone here on this site - fellow polers watching my videos...I want the feed back and we are all here for a bunch of the same reasons so that's all good. BUT I don't want random trollers watching them and while a bunch of people I work with and my family know I pole and are supportive of it I don't need any nut jobs at work searching for videos...probably paranoid delusions on my part but who knows... Also this question is really kinda aimed at the women and men that are not actually pole teachers/instructors/dancers for a living...because then I think it is kind of a different situation although I would like to hear your opinions as well 🙂 I had a situation recently where a crazy ex jr high school friend of mine was basically stalking my brother on line and found him through my Facebook page...boy was my Mom not happy about that 🙄 (Chemmie/ Amy - you can probably imagine why...) I have also recently learned of an ex that has been trying to *find* me on line so I have been systematically pulling any photo's of me where there is a full on head shot of me and hoping eventually any cache of me goes *poof* into an internet black hole... This all kinda blows...and i can't seem to wrap my head around it...I guess my question is - does anyone else deal with these thoughts / issues and if so how do you deal with them LOL...cause I keep going back and forth between - *F THEM...I will do, post, say what I want* and *uggg I really need to not have any sort of web presence ever* Thoughts? uggg Veruca's very blue 😢

8 replies

Foxy_Rei · 2/14/2010
If it makes you feel better, videos here are members only - they won't show up in internet searches and someone can't just pop in and view them if they're not a member (however, membership is free, so...). I had issues last summer with my MySpace; I posted a blog where I was venting about a touchy subject and I namelessly mentioned some coworkers. Only one of my coworkers had access to my profile (set to private) so I didn't think it would matter. However, apparently someone else was friends with the coworker's husband that I was talking about. Whoever it was copied and pasted what I wrote into an email and sent it to them, which led to them complaining to our boss and when that didn't work the husband called the house posing as an "ex" of mine and insinuated that our daughter was actually his. My husband luckily didn't fall for it and my boss thought it was a bunch of bull because it had nothing to do with work, but the fact that they resorted to the personal attack of that phone call scared the crap out of me. I ended up going on a 'friend deleting" spree - anyone that I hadn't met in person and/or I didn't actively know what was going on with them I deleted. I still don't know who it was... I felt extremely violated because I have my profiles set to private for a reason, and they are my profiles and my blogs and my opinions. I didn't use names and didn't do anything wrong. Anyways, I got paranoid about my privacy and did the same as you with deleting other things, including my videos and pictures on here and my one and only YouTube video. Only just recently have I started to loosen up again, but I still take care to keep my info in check. I don't give out my real name on the forums here; if anyone wants to add me on Facebook I ask that they send me a PM. (even then, I have a limited profile set up for the people I don't know that well) But I don't think anyone can find you here if you're careful. Even if people knew you were on the forums here, I'd be extra careful to not advertise your screenname and ask that people don't use it in wall posts on FB, etc. and delete the ones that do. Make sure your profile pics aren't clear enough to see your face very well, same with videos. Maybe even "disguise" your house when you shoot videos with blankets so they can't tell it's you. Just my thoughts. Good luck!
verucablue · 2/14/2010
yes...I only have a few pole friends on FB and they know that work people are on my page (with linited access) and that FB is to catch up with me in the real world...with limited VERY limited pole talk...PM me if you have pole stuff lol...also my pictures on FB are limited access...I got rid of Myspace years ago as I am too old and never used it anyhow lol. My youtube doesn't actually have anything of me... honestly My Mom is the one on FB that always seems to forget to censor herself LOL...I am always deleting wonkie posts she might put up 🙄 ... I think it's really just the video issue that get's me a little uptight - I also think I migt talk to Veena about changing my username - who knows... If I could just figure out how to frame out my face in videos LOL I might feel a bit better - I don't know...will have to think about it over the next few days... Thanks!
dustyfox · 2/15/2010
I hate to say this ladies but if some one wants to find you they will, be it on the internet or even a listed phone number these days. My personal opinion f* um, if they have a problem with with the fact i bought a pole and im gonna dance on it thats there problem. 😮 Then there not going to be on my personal sites. 😀 If you are not comfortable with work people knowin you pole then set up a seperate account for only us polers to use on my space or on face book and just let your life and work be seperate. As to posting pictures if your not comfortable then you dont have too. I cant wait for my pole to be here so i can post all the things im learning and doing like you do. Just remember to some of us newbees ur an inspiration and without your videos and your pictures would sux. We learn and see new things threw watching you.I wish you luck in you decisions....dusty
Rena LadyBug · 2/15/2010
Girl I understand where you are coming from, it took me a while before I posted a video. The best thing about this site is we have screennames, which if you google you can find, but my screenname isn't something that I normally use. Also this site is more private than most of the sites out there, but it does not take long to setup membership here. I'm a little concerned b/c before I started actually posting stuff on here I gave the website to a coworker telling her she could buy her pole from here, but that there were videos she could watch also... well she told me the other day that she went to the site and part of me wonders if she has watched my videos or seen any of my pictures.... I try not to think about it, I mean I guess it's okay if she watches them but I don't want her sending other coworkers to the site to watch them... As it is, on Thursday a lot of the girls at work were hating on the fact that I pole dance for fitness. Yes I realize poles are used in strip clubs and some people take their clothes off while using the poles, but I can't seem to get people to understand that I am not an aspiring stripper, although I do not have problems w/ those who do strip. So I'm waiting til I have the opportunity to have a get together with the girls and bring my pole w/ me so that way they will see that there is more to it. I don't know... I only have 2 people from real life that I have given them the site to watch my videos, and one of them is my mother and the other one I have been good friends w/ since we were in fourth grade, and really best friends since like 7th or 8th.
halfjack · 2/15/2010
I wouldnt worry TOO muchI just doubt that many people...would really go to the bother of finding out specifically about the pole dancing forum you visit...then searching though all the members/all the videos to find one that was specifically you and THEN signing up just to watch the videos. If they are going to that much effort they are obviously losers and you shouldnt care what they think! 😛 No but seriously I know some people can be a bit crazy and scary but I really think that if you were gonna post vids SV is a relatively safe medium to do it through. Obviously its your decision though! 👍
MilienElayne · 2/15/2010
I tell everyone and PLASTER my FB with my photos and some of my videos. I'm so proud of every move I can do and it's one of my biggest happinesses. My whole family (yep, even my grandparents and my uncle's ex wife) gets update emails with photos and vids. I am FB friends with people from when I was 5 all through the different schools I went to, all of my partner's family, ex co-workers... everyone. The only people in my life who don't know I pole and totally love it to bits are my employers and any future employers. I'm a nanny and want to get into government and welfare positions someday. I have told them I am doing aerials classes, because that's more 'socially acceptable'. If the job market wasn't so ridiculously hard to break into, I would not care. But I need money. If anyone cared, they could find me everywhere and anywhere. My employer could just search for me on FB and see me doing Butterflies in my undies. She's technologically useless though, thankfully. I think my screenname is going to be my stage name (shortened to 'Mili', 'Milien' is Sindarin and some people can't pronounce it). I use my screenname in heaps of places and it's sometimes connected with my real name, which is then easily looked up. No-one cares though. I get barely any comments on FB or anywhere else from people I actually know in real life, I think the shock/novelty factor has worn off, they've all got me filtered out so they don't have to see my tight little butt contorted into awesome poses on a pole, or they really don't care. Whatever. I'm going to get into competition shape someday and invite them all to the show(s) and anyone who comes is going to be blown away and converted to pole fans. Ha ha. (No, not really that confident. SOMEDAY is the operative word there...)
verucablue · 2/15/2010
Yeah...I totally get what everyone is saying...I just think I might have a trickier family/work situation then most lol...which is actually kinda funny since my Mom knows I pole and thinks its cool - my family doesn't actually really care - they are highly supportive of whatever I do however there are other work/family issues that I have to deal with which might be out of the normal scope of most peoples privacy issues...I'm sure none of this really makes much sense, needless to say I am hyper aware of it as of late and I guess I just need to figure out a way to find some sort of happy medium - I'm just not sure what that happy medium is or how to find it 😕
chemgoddess1 · 2/15/2010
VB, I understand where you are coming from which is one of the reasons that I do not have a single video of me up. I have pics on facebook in a private gallery but then that even backfired on me (you cannot regulate who your friends may show pictures to if they happen to be over). I have been using this screen name forever and routinely run google searches on it. Just this past summer I had a couple that we knew from camping track us down and show up at our house. Kinda creepy in a way and I am still not completely sure how they pieced everything together. I will have to agree that if someone wants to find you it is so easy to do now a days. Don't know if you have ever heard of Zabasearch but I have even located people that way. Do what you need to put yourself at ease. Unfortunately social networking has it's dark side and that is exactly what you are dealing with right now. BTW, I just went through and deleted a bunch of people on FB last week. I really don't need to know what someone from high school that I have not had contact with in 20+ years is doing.