Too hard!!!!

petite-chose started this discussion · 8/24/2009

Hi everyone, I just started pole dancing... and i am very dissapointed in myself. It's just too hard... I feel like i can barely stay on the pole, i can only do one spin, and it's not even that well done.... im always wiping the pole, i cant stay on it, i dont feel like i have the strengh to do so, even worse, just going on the pole and fighting to stay on it just takes a lot of energy out of me.... I am sorry about complaining, but you know, i watch a lot of videos on this site, and u guys made it look so easy.... i thought i would be able to do it toooooo 😢 i was wondering, if any of you had a hard time at the beginning....like really... cause im having such a hard time.. my boyfriend doesnt really want me taking classes, and anyways, im too ashamed and kinda shy so if any of you have tips or anything.... btw my bf went on the pole, and did some moves... and he gets it on the first try.... so i banished him from my pole.... cause it makes me feel worse about myself 😳 when i get better, he can try it again..... until then HEEELP 😢 maybe im not patient enough? Thanks everyone... and sorry for the complaining and the whining....

23 replies

miss fern · 8/24/2009
Oh honey you are SO not alone! That is what EVERYONE is like to start with. Trust me, I teach beginner classes! EVERYONE wipes down the pole 100 times a lesson. Everyone is clumsy, and nervous and scared, off balance, forgetting which leg goes where etc etc etc.! Everyone gets bruises and pole burn and makes ugly faces sometimes. Pole dancing is hard! Also - boys ALWAYS get stuff faster. I instruct men too, and they have A LOT more upper body strength that women, and usually more core strength and back/lat strength as well. They're at a huge advantage because of that, so don't let it get you down. I wish I kept some of my old pics and vids from when I was a beginner, but I looked so crap I deleted them all coz I was embarrassed. Now I don't care, because I realise everyone sucks to start with! (Except peole with gymnastics/ice skating experience behind them or something like that.) So I wish I could show them to some of my students who think they're soooo terrible and they'll NEVER improve. They'd soon change their mind if they compared my old footage to what I can do now! Chin up, gorgeous. You'll get there. Keep trying 👍
Veena · 8/24/2009
No, no Don't feel bad! Boys are bless with all that upper body strength that we have to work so hard to achieve. The have an advantage. Yes pole dance is HARD!! That is what can make it sooooo rewarding, the simplest move should be celebrated...I mean that. If it were easy, we all wouldn't feel so damn cool when we finally nail a new move...or any move for that matter. Pole dancers defy gravity! Your not alone, keep at it. Try and do some strength training with your pole, this can help your dancing really improve. 🥂 🥂 🥂
PoleDanceABCs · 8/24/2009
Yeah, don't be scared and don't stop going at it! 😀 I agree with Veena that learning a basic move should be celebrated. Pole dancing is like nothing else and a LOT of people just don't have that upper body strength right away. Keep going and you'll get stronger... and you will feel gratified. Might not be overnight but just you wait! Oh and my hubby was able to do awesome stuff his first time on the pole... men and their biceps... I swear!
simulpole · 8/24/2009
Certainly do not feel bad. We all have to start somewhere. W/o knowing you I would guess your biggest disadvantage is just strength. Keep working on the moves you can do and do some supplemental strength training and you'll get there. My husband hopped on my pole when I first got it. W/ just a few demonstrations of the noodle, which took me a week to finally get, he hopped on and after 4 tries, he had the noodle down!! So chin up ... you're not alone. Keep getting strong and confident. 😉
stars2shame · 8/24/2009
Don't give up! I thought I was the worst pole dancer ever!! I used to think "Is it supposed to be this HARD?" "Is it supposed to hurt this much??" Thank Veena for this forum, or I would have given up! I had all the same problems, not being able to hold my entire body weight while gracefully spinning around a pole, but practice makes perfect! So keep at it. It took me a month to learn 3 spins, and 3 months to be able to do spins with one hand. Once you have built the strength, you will find it is easier to learn new moves. And you will feel so great when you have muscles in your arms you never had before!! Don't Give Up!!!
petite-chose · 8/24/2009
thank you so much everyone... 😀 i wasnt gonna give up anyways, i just thought that maybe it was just me, cause really, im not flexible, i dont have strengh.... only in my legs cause i did horseback riding... But thank you, i will work on my strengh, as well as my flexibility... and i will keep my beginner video and pictures so that later on, i can make fun of myself or something -_- lol I hope to improve real soon 😀 THKS!
faerie_wench · 8/24/2009
DON'T be so hard on yourself!!! Go check out the video I posted last night. (Click on my pic and it will take you to my profile) I used to dance (about a decade ago) but I can't remember anything, lol. I am basically back at the beginning. I had 3 kids and "let myself go" I no longer have any upper body strength to speak of but I am getting stronger because I play on my pole. Like anything else that is worth anything, it takes time. Think of your dancing as a fine wine the longer you age (practice) the better you will become. Keep it up you'll be as good as any other these gals on here in no time!!!
moth · 8/24/2009
I'm another one who found most stuff impossible to start with. I think I battered my legs up more, just learning how to do a fireman spin than I have anything else! I came at it with no co-ordination, no upper body strength and no flexibility in my legs. It only gets better 😀 Soon you'll be shouting your boyfriend over to show him the new tricks and spins you can do! (My boyfriend jumped on the pole and did a shoulder mount the first time he tried. I banished him too and told myself it's okay because it was the ugliest shoulder mount I've ever seen - legs flying out at all angles hehe - and mine will eventually look much nicer!)
cbella13 · 8/24/2009
It is really hard! I just started a few months ago and still feel so weak. 😂 But with practice and strength training it is getting better. 🥂 Hang in there and I agree, I celebrate any move I learn. 🤸
SissyBuns · 8/24/2009
Pole is hard petite. Those darn pros make it look so easy. They decieve us into believing that we can put our pole up and be busting out all kinds of advacned moves by the next day! You're not alone at all! You'll get better and better, just have fun! 😁
JenLFG · 8/24/2009
OMG! yes! it is very hard! i have been poling for about a month & it has gotten easier but i can still only do 4 spins. i can sit on the pole too && i climbed it ONE time, lol! so you are not alone. the first week in started poling i would do it for a little while & after i was done i would take a shower & pretty much go to bed... it was about 8pm when i went to sleep every night that week, lol! it takes a LOT out of you & it will exhaust you. & you will get your form soon too! even if you only have "one move" you can practice it going both directions & make it look good before you move on :D
deetron · 8/25/2009
I was a really crap beginner pole dancer!! The worst ever!! I started taking private lessons with a girl I literally made friends with at an open night in the teacher's studio. She was flawless - it was like she was born spinning around a pole! I was so crap in comparison - it took me weeks to do a fireman spin!! Whereas she just hopped on first time! Instead of discouraging me.. it made me ANGRY!! I'm just a bit weird. I was like " I *have* to get this!! It's not fair!! Two years later, and she didn't keep up the dancing - but I did! I've been an instructor at one point - it was a great feeling when beginner students of mine would say "you make it look so easy!!" And I just have to laugh!! It was never easy for me! You get there in the end!! If I can, you certainly can!!! Keep it up!! 🤸
vickiezoo · 8/25/2009
My boyfriend also just did a shoulder mount just like that!! I haven't mastered that move yet, he aslo did Deb Riley's pole climb from sitting on the floor hands only!! Men!!!
JenLFG · 8/25/2009
omg! guys will make you sick with the amount of upper body strength they just "have"! i was so excited when i could climb up the pole that little bit because it was so hard for me & i was telling my boyfriend about it & he was like "thats not hard" "why is that so hard for you" & i told him to go try it then if it was so dang easy & on the first try he made it all the way up the pole 😮 😲 😕 !!! that little bastard! lol! & he really could have done a shoulder mount, he just didn't trust himself, but he really looked like he had that one in the bag too!
joni1 · 8/25/2009
Oh please don't get discourage. When I started, my husband bought me a pole and installed it in our bedroom.I couldn't do a simple spin and kept bumping and hitting myself on the pole. He saw me practicing one day and laughed out loud. He said that I looked so ackward and not sexy at all. 😈 I CRIED all day and was so hurt and discouraged that I took down my pole and gave it away to my neighbour. But I missed it so much that I practiced secretly everyday at her basement for a year till I got smooth, sexy and did advanced moves. 😳 She finally got tired of me coming over that she gave me back my pole. I installed it back in my bedroom, put on a sexy lingere, sexy music and pole danced till he came home and entered the bedroom. I kept dancing, climbing the pole,inverting and doing advance moved all the while ignoring him. His mouth just about hit the floor. And now he just loves watching me dance and can't get enough. So please don't give up. I started at 41 with no muscles strength at all. If you practice and stay with it, I can guarantee you will be amazing. :\ 👸
Castleoutsider · 8/25/2009
I agree with everyone =) men are built to use their upper bodies.. women are built to use their lower bodies.. yay for child birth right? lol thats why it upsets me too when theyre like WEeee i can do it too its like.. dude.. ur a moron, you have NO idea how hard this is for us trust me. (based on a story of a guy at a club when me n my friend were playing on the pole) Myself personally... i myself have been learning for almost 2 years now. I've taken the beginners course so many times I can't even remember how many. before id jut be like walk walk *rubs hands together* spin.. *t-rex hand* walk walk spin *cont rubbing hands together* your body right now isn't used to what ur making it do. A lot of girls learn at different paces, or at either visual or hands on learners. everyone's body is different. just keep at it.. i know its cliche but "practice makes perfect" just recently is when I felt like i was comfortable enough to make it sexy and make it my own. hehe so yea it took all of us some time =D as u can tell from this thread, know that there are people here for you =) and fk ur hubby.. know that ur doing it for YOU not him.. him.. eh its just an extra perk for him.... if hes lucky ^.~
Rouge_LAmour · 8/26/2009
sheesh, it took me 3 months to get the goddess / reverse hook, 9 months to get the princess / leg hook and I still don't invert very well after nearly 2 years. (invertin's for crazy folk!) Do not compare yourself to anyone else on this site: we have all had issues with moves. The only person you want to better is yourself. People learn at different speeds and sometimes what you see with people advancing is nothing more than "flinging" or throwing themselves into moves with no control. These versions of the moves have no control or grace and are often the cause of bad injuries. So, my point is that you need to take it at your own pace. Not everyone progresses at the same speed... take your time and get your strength up, pole is a lot harder than it looks but is worth the effort.
EVamp83 · 8/26/2009
(invertin's for crazy folk!) Teehee! That made me giggle 😀 But you're sooo right! Everyone has their own pace! For me the spins came really easy, and even the basic invert. But it took me months to properly get butterfly and inverted crucifix. I was months behind on those, and I saw girls that were two levels behind me do them just like that. It can be frustrating at times, but you just have to let it go, keep practicing, and trust that you'll get there eventually. Oh! And focus on your strengths! Whether it is your dancing, booty pops/shakes, one or two spins.. I had lots of fun perfecting the moves I was doing okay with!
TrophyWife · 8/27/2009
Poling is SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! 9 times outta 10 if it looks hard, they are not doing it right haha! You'll get stronger with time, and you'll toughen up any skin that burns or pinches when you try different things. One thing I can say is if you have a pole that does "spinny mode" however tempting it may be, keep it on static (still) mode, its much much easier to hang on, you may not spin as many times around but you'll be able to hold on!! and no worries about the BF being able to do the tricks you want to do, they just have more upper body strength! my strength and flexability has increased so much! jsut stick with it, and dont try tricks that are too advanced, stick with fireman, and sunwheels, then move up little by little! best of luck! Happy poling!
climbergirl · 8/28/2009
I just installed my pole about 5 days ago, and I was very surprised at how slippery it was. I do have a lot of upper body strength, and I had a hard time holding on to it, not to mention the bruises I got all over my legs. Some of the things that helped me were tips I found on the internet, before I joined this site. Washing my hands before I start, helps remove the oils from my hands. I use windex to wipe down the pole, and if i start sweating from the workout, I put some gymnastic/rock climbing chalk on my hands and inner thighs, all of which help with the slipperiness. I think just practicing spins and pole pull ups has helped my grip strength, so I don't feel like I'm gonna slip right off, all the time. Keep with it!
petite-chose · 8/29/2009
I just want to thank you everyone for ur comments :p i will take your advices for sure:D but i am doing better i think. building that upper strengh and all... so thank you for ur support, i practice everyday with all of you in mind, knowing that im not the only one who had a hard time :S but that now, when i look at ur videos and pictures, and you look so beautiful, i will be like that too one day 😀:D THANK YOU, u guys are the best really. I love this website !!!!! 😀 😀
miss fern · 8/29/2009
Good on you for all that practice and hard work! Remember though that pole is BOTH cardiovascular workout AND strength training workout. Any gym junkie or personal trainer will tell you not to do strength training every day. It's actually better for your body and muscles to MISS a day - and do weights or pole every 2nd. Your muscles get stronger quicker that way, as they have time to repair! 😉
climbergirl · 8/29/2009
I agree with georgiamarie. When I put my pole up I was so excited that I practiced everyday for 4 days, and it strained my wrists and forearms; I haven't been able to get on it in 3 days. I don't know when I'll be able to get back on it either, my wrists and arms still hurt 🙁 It is so hard to walk by it and not play on it. So, take it easy, you have plenty of time.