Veena started this discussion ·
Many of us on Studio Veena are moms who love to pole and with motherhood comes scars, stretch marks and saggy skin and breast. It can be embarrassing because with pole dance we need a lot of skin showing. I saw this site and I thought it was kinda neat! We are all beautiful..... http://theshapeofamother.com/about-this-site/
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I love it, thank you for posting Veena!
Foxy_Rei ·
Awww thanks for that, Veena. I've kinda beat myself up for how I look after I had my girl, and even though I know I look a heck of a lot better than most people do before they have kids. I have tiny little boobs that have managed to sag slightly from the breastfeeding, and I have some looser skin around my tummy. My stomach was perfectly flat before baby, and it probably would be if not for that loose skin. I managed to keep my belly ring, but am often afraid to even show it off because to me, anyway, I look horrible. I catch myself in the mirror when I'm pole dancing and wish I still have my flat tummy and the stretch marks on my hips weren't there... But then again, I have to remember how much of a tax it is on the body to be pregnant. Your entire torso's worth of organs are re-arranged and your stomach sticks out further than anything on your body, not to mention what x-number of months worth of inactivity from the pregnancy and the months afterwards of even more of it from taking all your time taking care of the baby! It's actually amazing how resilient the human body actually is to the whole process! Lots of people jeer that I have no room to talk about thinking I don't look good - "Look at you, you're a twig!" which may be true, but it's not what I used to be and the change is depressing. But, I look at my daughter and I know it was worth it. It's the price of motherhood. 😀
Thank you so much for posting this Veena! 😉
I thought some might appreciate it. Well Jacq...as a fellow twig I can tell you pretty much everyone thinks my body has gone through 4 babies with no change. Sooo not true, I know you can't see it in the video's or pics but my breast are flat and my tummy flaps over my jeans just like most other moms. 😉 I have thought about having my husband take a pic and sending it in to her website. No sucking in, no holding myself in my pucker free position....just ME! 😀
Foxy_Rei ·
Yes, I find it highly annoying when I want to share my feelings about my body with other girls and they cut me off saying stuff like I said above because they think I shouldn't be able to complain at all because I look better than they do! They're not wrong - I shouldn't complain - but the attitude they use and not even letting me speak is highly aggravating. You can't see it in my vids, but I have stretch marks on the bottoms of my breasts and right on my hip bones, my boobs have sagged (although they didn't have far to go...) and my bras don't fit right anymore, and my tummy also hangs out over my pants a bit. It's all easily hidden under clothes, but pole dancing reveals all! (well, not "all"...) I've come to believe that imperfections are part of what makes each of us perfect, I just have to keep reminding myself of that (Veena, you said in another post somewhere you used to be really pessimistic, I too "suffer" from it and have gotten much better, but in this area I continually have to fight to try to stay positive)
What a great site! I have a tough time with my stretch marks on the boobs and my c-section scar, but then I think of my sons and it's all worth it. Cheers to real women's bodies! 🥂
I'm not a mom yet but I think everyone knows here that I definitely have body issues...and Jacq I can totally relate because any time I tell someone I'd like to lose weight they say "You don't need to lose any a lot of people are bigger than you are!" but people don't seem to understand it's something I want to do for myself and it seems like youre in a similar position with your insecurities. Veena I hope this doesnt offend you but your body is totally perfect to me so to hear you say you have parts of your body you worry about actually makes me feel better because sometimes even the people you think are perfect have things they worry about too...so I guess we're all human after all. Poling has definitely helped me though...and I get a lot of messages on Youtube from girls saying they saw my videos and it made them start pole dancing because they had only seen videos of really thin girls and didn't think they could do it. At first I was kind of hurt because I felt like they were calling me fat but if my curves can inspire other curvy girls to do something that's so great then I should be happy! So mom or not I think everyone on this site is beautiful and amazing and wonderful! I would have probably given up poling so many times if it wasn't for everyone here cheering me on despite how much I hate my thighs 😜
I, too, am a fellow twig--pretty much straight up and down, with no boobs, waist, hips, or bum. I guess I'm what they call an ectomorph. My body hasn't changed dramatically since my son, but I am definitely aware of my pooch. I'm so glad those super-low waisted jeans aren't all the rage anymore, because they would emphasize my saggy belly! I will be 41 in October and I've come to grudgingly accept the "looseness". Before my son was born, I was hard as a rock. As I mentioned previously, I had a disciplined yoga practice and because I was teaching so much, I hardly ever got time to eat, so I was too skinny. Actually, in my first trimester, I had gained what I thought was a bunch of weight but really I was just reaching a "normal" weight and was finally getting some attention from the boys. Ha. Now when I cuddle with my son, I'm pretty happy because I think that it wouldn't be so much fun for him to snuggle up to a rock...again, that's me accepting that changes are inevitable and trying to flow with them instead of constantly fighting them. Fighting takes up too much energy. Loving acceptance only creates more space in my heart. Gee, I should make that my mantra, shouldn't I?
Loving acceptance only creates more space in my heart. Gee, I should make that my mantra, shouldn't I? It's a good one!! I have been blessed with 2 children, and also feel very lucky that I bounced back from pregnancy well - my stretch marks are minor enough that only I can see them and it has to be just the right unflattering light, my breasts are softer for sure but I had implants prior to becoming pregnant so I think they have done alot to keep their shape. My stomach does do frightening things when I bend over...but I figure gravity would have taken over eventually whether I had children or not.....they are of course SO worth every little thing! Pregnancy and motherhood has really changed the way I view my body, I'm much kinder, more accepting and less critical of myself - it's been such a positive thing for me. I've always been active and exercised, but honestly my body has never looked like this, or been this lean and muscular in my whole life - even prior to children.....thanks to the POLE!!
Aliira ·
One thing I noticed...is a tradition I've shared with many of my friends who are also mothers is a form of bonding called boob showing. And it's exactly that...we show, giggle (not meanly) and compliment. I have never felt mor secure, than knowing that women who I regard as amazingly beautiful, have the same scars mine does. The stretch marks, extra skin, etc. And the thing is...when I would see it on other women...I never saw it as ugly...EVER, which kinda forced me to change my outlook on my own body. It made me realize that my husband hasn't been lying to me when he tells me I am beautiful to him. (Edited to add last sentence.)
Aliira you are so right! You can see the exact same things (scars, stretchmarks...) on someone else and it isn't that big of a deal! I think we are all so much more critical on ourselves then we are on other people! I know from my own experience with gaining massive amt of weight with preganancy(s) and losing it how my body has changed. Yes I have a c-section scar, and loose tummy skin and deflated boobs:) but I have birthed and fed two beautiful healthy children! So worth it. Now don't get me wrong...I want to get a "mommy makeover" done...but I could live with out it! I have friends who think I'm corny because I have said that since I started pole dancing I am so much less critical of myself! that I had this huge revelating experience that freed me from my self doubt and criticism! it is so true though! When I see how much I've accomplished(physically and mentally) I've realized that I don't need to be a size 0 to be sexy! I have embraced my curves and as my husband calls it my badonkadonk! 😀 BTW I love that site Veena!
badonkadonk I love it!!!
Former member ·
LOVE this site!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 i love how it emphasizes that we all have things about us we'd like to change, but we're all so beautiful still nevertheless 🙂
OMG i couldn't agree more, but veena babe...where might the stretchmarks and saggy skin be? if you have ANY we cannot see it, that is for damn sure, and i mean that in the BEST possible way, cause noone would ever know it x's 4, especially, bless u. i find that ones i had earlier were much more forgiving, and though i'm thankful, because i don't have stretch marks on my belly, i make up for that, in other ways in other places if UKWIM, so i didn't come thru my last one unscaved, for sure, i'll share before and after pics, at a later date, so all women know IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE, and mom's are beautiful, pregnancy and childbirth can change us, but we are still sexy, normal, and vibrant women, whom can pole dance and feel good about who we are, inside of our own skin..no matter WHAT! FOXY- so true the price of motherhood, but well well worth it, when you look at the product of it all! just part of being a woman..i'd like to see MEN getting some stretch marks, and cellulite, and saggy pecks, lol, if that is possible, and see how they would cope. oh plz they couldn't even cope with the needle to draw blood for the BETA pregnancy test, lol. HA, what us women go thru veena- my belly used to go IN, never flat nor out, so i got you there...your changes are quite subtle, because we don't see them, but at home, under a microcope, i know you can see, like we all do on ourselves, things others do not. my boobs used to be bigger and perkier. they aren't horrible, cause i wear a bra 24-7 yup, you heard right, ever since 14, BUT they are not what i remember, and that saddens me, but what can you do? the price of children, and the price is worth it, or we wouldn't keep on goin, lol. but i was ALWAYS a twig before my 3rd and i was 5'6 and 104 when i got pregnant, totally too skinny and wanted to gain, and now, i feel VERY fat compared to my 'norm', even though i wantd to be bigger, i'm just never happy, so now i wanna be smaller, but i don't wanna lose muscle. its a weird odd thing, but seein my vids sometimes makes me sick, but that was a choice i made, now to undo it, it would be unhealthy, and i dont wanna go there again FOXY (again) my last one, 1st two no marks, but the last one took 2 cup sizes away, and the hips and but..stretchmarks..i sware i even see cellulite forming, tho hubby will not confirm, i dont wanna see it, but i think i do, and WAH. you are right, i don't care if i look good for having kids, and people could and might look worse, it's not much comfort when you gotto live inside of YOU all the time, ya know? btw i love your last statement.,...flawlessness is a myth, even supermodels get photoshopped, and every mark, shows a story, and makes us who we are today..we are all imperfect! GLITTERHIPS, i think you look strong, and powerful. i think you will handle pregnancy and birth just fine. you don't have to be a size zero to be in top notch shape, and you are extremely toned! moral of the story..we gotto make do, find acceptance in what we do have, and not for what we don't, or for things we cannot change, cause all it does, is drive you COMPLETELY batty in the end, and w/o purpose. xoxo shelly
thank you Veena for this. I have been through an extreme amount of change since my last baby was born and ..whew..boy don't i know the feeling of saggy boobs and stretch marks. they are everywhere it seems.. (exdiva) the cellulite..I'm guilty there too..i just hate it when a girl who is a size 0 and no marks what so ever no kids and nothing to complain about say that she is fat..now that part i don't understand. If your shoulder bones are stickin out, why would you say you need to lose weight? it's this girl i know that is like that and she makes me soo frustrated b/c i'm like girl, YOU NEED TO EAT!! lol she don't need to lose anything b/c she's already so skinny( sick lookin skinny) so UgH sorry had a rant for a second..lol..but back to the subject, thank you again Venna we areALL beautiful in our own way and no two women are the same and THAT and only THAT is what makes us ALL unique!! ☀️ 🌸
What an amazing site. Having carried almost 14 pounds of baby in my at once (my surrogate twins were 6lbs 14ozs each), I try not to look at myself as "ruined". I try to see those stretch marks and hanging skin as my badge of honor for creating not just two lives, but an entire family. It's tough to see them that way when I am trying to climb the pole and can't move an inch LOL. I will get there though...
What an amazing site. Having carried almost 14 pounds of baby in my at once (my surrogate twins were 6lbs 14ozs each), I try not to look at myself as "ruined". I try to see those stretch marks and hanging skin as my badge of honor for creating not just two lives, but an entire family. It's tough to see them that way when I am trying to climb the pole and can't move an inch LOL. I will get there though... Yes you will Charilee! I keep meaning to take some pictures oy m stretchmarks for this site. I used to be so embarrassed of the "wounds" left behind by my kids but what opened my eyes was other women at the pool and at the beach with (what was in my original opinion) a lot worse bodies than me and they didnt care. They sported their flab and strecthmarks with pride as they spalshed with their lovely kids in the pool. That's when I stopped comparing myself to things that are just unrealistic. I know J-Lo has twins but she probably had a full time dietitcian, nutritionist and trainer at her side for the full (whatever) months she was pregnant. Yeah Angelina Jolies has had like 18 kids but genetics have a say in a lot of things and if I compare myself to my grandma I'm doing pretty damn good (sorry abuela) and even nt compared to anyone I should just be glad that whatever body I have, it's getting my through everyday life so I can spend one more day with those I love. I end my rant here 😉
