Telling my Adult Kids that I am Learning Pole

OzarkSiren started this discussion · 8/25/2012

There was a knock at the door in the middle of the night and there stood my 23 year old son who lives away at college. He suprised me by coming home for a few days. I was thrilled to see him but all I could think about was that he was going to see my new Pole set up in the Living Room !!! He went straight up to his room to sleep. His twin sister knows and is going to learn with me but I have not told my son or other daughter. All 3 of my young adult children live away from home now. I could take it down but have decided not to. I am going to tell him and educate him. He is very physically fit, works out all of the time and he knows I am very active physically and he loves and supports my Aerials. I have raised my 3 kids alone, Their Dad is passed away long ago. I am still supporting 2 of them through college. I love them so much. Since many of you on here are my kid's age how would you feel about your Mother doing Pole? Veener's are more educated on Pole than the average person. I will ask for their support but if I do not get it that is okay too. Well today is the day I find out. : ) Thanks for letting me Vent.

8 replies

SlowLearnerScottish · 8/25/2012
I am 26 and I've told my family I'm bringing my pole home with me and Christmas and I'm going to make all of them (my dad included!!) have a go! I think it's great. I can understand your intrepidation at telling a son but I'm afraid I can't offer a perspective on that. I text my mum, dad, sister & gran photos of my pole moves and my dad proudly shows them to people who acknowledge and admire the athleticism involved. If he's physically active he will very quickly realise it's not all about shaking your money maker and it mostly about injuring yourself with bruises galore in the pursuit of greatness!! Good Luck! x
Tali Kat · 8/25/2012
He may be a little surprised at first, but if you show him some moves and give him time to digest the idea, he will most likely appreciate how difficult it is and respect you for it. I know if I found out my Mum was doing pole, I'd be thrilled :D I was hesitant to tell my younger brother (who is 25) but he totally accepted it and was impressed with how much stronger I have gotten. :D
Prncsopowr · 8/25/2012
My family all know that I pole and out of everyone, my dad is the most supportive!! My mom has been more accepting recently as the girls at my studio have been super supportive to me through a really tough period in my life. Truthfully, my brothers have the most difficulty with it. Its not that they have an "issue" with my taking pole as they know it doesn't go anywhere but the studio and my own home. I have spoken with my dad about it and he feels that it is more they don't want to imagine their sister on the pole for two reasons. The first being that they are protective (annoyingly so at times) and are concerned about other people's reactions. The second (which I think is more true) is that their sister on the pole "ruins" going to strip clubs and seeing strippers for them (they both still have plenty of bachelor parties to attend). I have pictures of me doing tricks and I show my family. My parents look at them easily, my brothers quickly look and then turn away, even though in them I am wearing more than the beach volleyball players. So, I would be prepared for him to be a bit unsettled by it and for him to need some time to accept it. But, he will because he loves you and he wants to support you. Just be prepared that he may not want to talk about it as after all, he will just end up picturing you on the pole the next time he goes to a strip club and I am pretty sure that is not something either of you want!! Good luck and let us know how it goes.
OzarkSiren · 8/25/2012
Thank you for the responses. I appreciate you so much !! GOOD NEWS!! I do believe it is different for boys than girls. My son said he was fine with it. He said he understands it is " for exercise". I noticed he did not make much eye contact with the Pole. So I did not push it. He acted like it was no biggie. He was impressed that I installed it myself. I explained I can take it down and put it back up with ease. So all is cool for now. I am relieved. He knows I am a firm believer in keeping moving and exercising. Interesting you bring up your brothers. I have two older brothers. They both live out of State so it is not like they will be dropping by. Thank God. : ) I need a glass of wine. Thanks so much everyone. I have to say this group is awesome !!!
calipolepixie · 8/25/2012
I have a 20 year old son. I started pole a little bit before he moved out of the home...he thought it was "gross" at first but once he realized I was serious about it and that I wasn't learning to pole to become a stripper or anything like that he was fine with it. I dont talk about it all the time when I talk to him or anything. But when he comes to visit, my pole is a regular fixture in our living room, so it doesn't phase him now...he even jumps on it now and then and goes for a spin if the mood strikes him. He can't believe how much strength it takes--it looks easier than it is and that always shocks him everytime. My younger brother is 21 years old and he is a little squemish about my poling still but he gets that I do it for fitness and for the most part respects that, but he is VERY conservative and protective of women in general-- for example he wont go to Hooters anymore, he thinks it puts women in a bad light. Boys (and most men) definitely have a different mindset about it, but eventually I've found they come around. :) Glad telling him went well :)
Trixie Kicks · 8/26/2012
Congrats on coming "out." It must be a big relief. I'm old enough that I'm moved out and married. I didn't tell my parents exactly, but I did start to post pics on Facebook and my dad saw them there. When I mentioned it to my mom, I didnt make a big deal about it. We were talking on the phone and I mentioned going to pole dance class. I feel like when there is a big sit down meeting and lots of explaning, it comes across as feeling like there is something wrong with it. Whenever I talk about pole with someone new, I don't give an explanation unless someone asks. I will say that I was thankful my parents didnt have any issues. They've seen my pole up and I did pole tricks for my parents and inlaws one day when they were over. Everyone was impressed.
senrysa · 9/2/2012
Its scary but I think we all want to tell because we all love it so. My Mom cane to see me a few months ago and I was still recovering from a broken hip (not from the pole) and I decide to make her a video of the the videos I posted on SV that I was most proud of it. I had already told her about the pole in the living room because I didn't want to take it down but I thought the video would help her see how much happiness it brings me. Due to disablities I have I spend a lot of time at home alone and I knew she worried about me and I thought she would feel better knowing about my poling if she accepted it. Well she kept saying oh look at that and look at that..how did you learn this...lol When she ot through watching it she asked if I could make her dvd to take home. I declined because there was a reason she wanted it ..to show it off because she was proud of me. I knew though that others might not be so understanding if she popped in the DVD player for entertainment LOL. My sister on the other hand may have a clue because I post lots of stuff about poling on my page not just about me poling but I'm going to hold off on that for a while. All 3 of my daughters came over a few weeks ago and I talked even the one who is really uncomfortable with it to try it out...of course we had to fight the grandkids for turns because they are way better than any of us. They will either accept it or they won't but when you love something so much it is hard to hide it because you want to share it. Its a great thing when it works out weel like me.
OzarkSiren · 9/3/2012
My Son just got on my Pole and showed off !!! He was great !! I think he was impressed with himself !! He said " that is a great full body work out". He weighs 210 and the Pole held up to his climbs and spins. So I did a good job installing it. My Pole just got the Seal of Approval.