Stage Fright?

AllysonKendal started this discussion · 10/30/2016

Any tips for getting over it? I'm participating in a showcase next weekend. We have to do our piece Thursday (dress rehearsal) then Friday and Saturday for the 2 days of the showcase. And I'm already sick to my stomach. My heart hasn't stopped racing in days. I've only had like one decent run through, and it was only ok. My last run through I fell out of my gargoyle from pretty high up. Since then I've been scared going into my gargoyle. So I've been doing it from the ground to try and get over that fear and feel secure again. Part of me wants to change up that combo, but I also know it was kind of a fluke. And I'm going to the studio to practice tomorrow. And I hope it all goes ok. I just don't know how to feel better. The anxiety is extreme. It always is. I always tell myself not to sign up for stuff. Then I do. And go through a full week of dread. Usually I just have to go out there and do it once and it is what it is. But now having to do it 3 times is just compounding the fear. I've tried to rationalize it. Even if I suck... the only person who will care is me. So why and I so nervous?!? Ugh. If dropping out was an option I totally would do it right now.

14 replies

Skullpixie · 10/30/2016
You could try using simpler moves they will still look pretty and impressive. Do some breathing exercises like in through the nose 4 seconds out through the mouth 6 seconds this slows the heart rate and helps with anxiety. Plus there's this thing my sister told me about called legs up the wall you laydown at the base of a wall bum to the wall legs straight up for a little while, hope that makes sense then to come out roll to the side with legs bent like a ball position before you get up cus it can make you a bit dizzy. It calms you down. Or have you ever tried meditation look up some techniques. Just relax, it's fun not a contest or anything. You will be fine and it's only 3 mins on a stage it will be over in no time so enjoy it.
Skullpixie · 10/30/2016
Do the breathing exercises before you go on stage it works so well. I really hope this helps. 💜
AllysonKendal · 10/30/2016
Thank you. 💕 I want to quit 😢I've been in a bad place all day. I know there is something to be said about fighting through it. But isn't this supposed to be fun?
Skullpixie · 10/30/2016
Yes it's supposed to be fun but it is scary at the same time, that's what makes it challenging, I find the more I get on stage the more I enjoy it. I'm still nervous.. but I act out a different persona I'm not me when I'm up there I really try to take on the character. It's like acting, your a different person for those three mins try to think of it like that really get into the song and theme and take your time with your moves, you will be too busy thinking about your moves and holding them to be nervous adrenaline will kick in and it's a good feeling. Plus when your doing the moves you don't have much time to even look at the audience they are a blur. 💖😊
Skullpixie · 10/30/2016
Please don't give up you will be so proud of your self once you have done it it will be such a great feeling.
Skullpixie · 10/30/2016
It's easier said than done.. but is there anything you can do that would take your mind off it for a while just so you could calm down like taking a walk or going to your favourite place.
Yayo · 10/31/2016
I have huge stage fright and still do!! But the only way you'll get over it is to perform. The best thing I did was perform to events so that if I mess up it's not a big deal. The other best thing was doing a performance with other people first. This helped me get use to the audience, the lights and having to perform. Don't drop out. If you do, you'll never get over it. Trust me that your routine will go faster then that stomach pain will start. Before you know it... you're done. I had a trick I wanted to do for my competition. But I fell out of it and even got tangled up. I created a backup just incase hoping not used it. But I practiced for hours and hours so I can feel more comfortable. Keep practicing. Even if it's low it still practicing. Another thing... record yourself. You would be amazing that all your fears make you think it looks bad. But it doesn't! I was very surprise at mine and people didn't even know how scared I was. LOL Hope this helps.=)
AllysonKendal · 10/31/2016
Well I dropped out. I have performed before. But this was different. It's a week out and I was physically ill, and balling my eyes out. There is a lot more too it. And maybe it's just complicated with the stuff I feel like I'm dealing with personally. I think I may have really upset the studio owner, as she hasn't written me back. Which really hurts me. But I've spent hundreds upon hundreds at her studio and it's not like she turned people away from performing and I took a spot from someone else. I didn't. So I hope she doesn't hold it against me. I guess at this point I just need a break. Mentally and physically. If it was just one night I could maybe push past.but 3 nights seems insurmountable at this point. I spent the weekend in bed instead I'd with my family. It shouldn't be like that. I'm never going to be Michelle shimmy, this isn't my livelihood. This is supposed to be fun. Not make me hate pole and myself.
AllysonKendal · 10/31/2016
I'm not blaming anyone but myself. But I hope no one holds it against me 😕
Skullpixie · 10/31/2016
I'm glad you made a decision. It's probably the right one for you at this time, do not worry what others think. You have done what's right for you that's what's important and taking a break is the best thing you can do, I'm training from home at the moment currently taking a break from my studio and show cases, for personal reasons. You will come back stronger, maybe a nice break is what you need, spend sometime doing somethings that make you happy and feel good. I hope you feel better soon. 💖
I polekat I · 11/1/2016
Sometimes the hardest thing we can do is put ourselves first, when it feels like we are letting others down. But you cannot live your life for other people... I have lost count of the number of times I have done stuff I didn't really want to, because I had promised that I would, or I knew it meant a lot to someone else, and more often than not I felt resentful and regretted doing it and was annoyed afterwards that I had let myself be persuaded into it. Especially when it comes to something like performing - you have to want to do it for YOU and know that you will enjoy it etc even if it is scary - I think deep inside you can tell the difference between pre-performance nerves and OM MY GOD I REALLY CAN'T DO THIS ESCAPE ESCAPE especially as you have performed before, so it's not like you just have to get over the initial cold feet. At the end of the day you would know if you really wanted to do it, and you would find the motivation to push through your problems if that was the case. Listen to your gut! I would definitely say I am much happier in myself now that I know how to say 'No' a bit more, and not feel guilty about it!! ;) I often joke 'well I USED to be a nice person haaaha now I do things for my own sake', but if you try live your life any other way it only ends up in misery for you - and at the end of the day YOU are the only person you have to make happy. Fuck everyone else quite frankly ! =) and if the studio owner wants to be a dick about it I think that says a lot more about her than it does about you - I only know you from on here but you seem like such a lovely person, and really kind & considerate, so even I can tell that you would not make this decision lightly - if she cannot see that for you to drop out at this stage was A) a real internal battle for you B) obviously due to real tangible reasons which you could not overcome then she definitely does not deserve you bending over backwards to please her at the sake of your own wellbeing. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and I find whenever life is pressing me down it affects EVERYTHING, you can't just switch off feelings when you are trying to deal with shit haaaha ohhh noooo it wont let you until you have resolved it within yourself. The fact that you spent the weekend in bed sounds like you are fighting it from all angles, and your brain is struggling to cope with it all, so the looming performances are just another stress ball adding to your head-fuckery rather than something fun to look forward to, which it might well be if you were in a happier head place at the moment. That's the thing with a performance/competition entry - it is stressful!!! So it seems different to when we are just dancing for the fun of it - because you are trying so hard to do your best, and are always so critical of yourself . I remember feeling like that last year practicing my routine for a competition video entry, it was all very rushed to get it submitted in time and i was so mad at myself everytime i messed a bit up, because it felt SO important. I remember thinking that exact same thing 'goddammit i thought this was supposed to be FUN what the hell why am i so pissed off then AARRGGHHGHG ......' But I could still feel that I really wanted to do it, and it was easy for me to get up and run through the routine again & again... so yeah I would say listen to your instinct, how do you feel now that you know you won't be doing it? do you feel relieved, or do you feel a pang of regret you are missing out on the experience? If the only reason you feel bad is because of letting the studio owner down then you are doing the right thing. Sorry for the essay haaaha but this really resonated with me, I really feel for you and want you to know that it is OK, even essential, to be selfish sometimes. Because at the end of the day YOU are the only person who will ever put you first, so we have to look after ourselves first and foremost before we think about doing that for other people =D
Rachel Osborne · 11/1/2016
Congratulations on making an excellent decision. Your body spoke with wisdom and you are honoring her wisdom and listening to her. I think the consequences of you not listening and forcing yourself through a performance could have been dire, on terms of the cost to your health, your mental wellbeing and your peace of mind. I think you would have risked potentially serious injury - either physical or mental - and if you hadn't listened now, when? What would have happened next? I think you've had a lucky escape. I also have no doubt that not only your beautiful dance practice but also your sense of power and self belief and self reliance will be the stronger and wiser for the decision you made. Instead of saying no, you actually said yes. Yes to your body. Yes to yourself. Yes to having limits and honoring them. Yes to YOU being worth listening to. Yes to your needs and desires being as important as someone else's. Yes to you being worth fighting to protect from harm. Yes to you being worth cherishing. The next time you dance publicly will be as a dancer who has felt the power of saying no and choosing yes. It will be fucking spectacular. I look forward to seeing the video.
AllysonKendal · 11/3/2016
Thanks for the love and support guys. It really warms my heart. Thanks for taking the time out to respond and lift me up. I can't even express what it means to me. I feel really good about my decision... and about taking a little break. I do feel bad if I let down the owner of the pole studio. We were actually getting to be pretty friendly... and I feel really awkward now, she only really responded saying "I guess you have to do what you have to do" so.... I feel like she is annoyed over it. But I guess we will see how she feels later (and how I feel). I think the stress of putting on a showcase is probably heavy on her mind... and things get lost via text. I'm really excited to back up a bit and find some love for pole again. Not really sure what that looks like. But I'm looking forward to find out.
AllysonKendal · 11/7/2016
WHEW! I feel so much better now. The owner reached out to me and invited me to the show! It was great (and i'm so happy i got to enjoy it) And right now everything is great, I'm just feeling a little lost... but more on that in a bit (I think I'm going to write a blog post on it)