shyness is getting the best of me

asterl24 started this discussion · 10/6/2009

ok so ive been wanting to post my first video for a while now ive been a member for almost 3 weeks 👍 im just scared and its not because you guys are judgemental or mean i know if i post a vid i will get words of encouragement and comments from you amazing beautiful people. 🌸 i really dont know what it is i have been self concious battled an eating disorder well still do the fight never stops, i do think i look pretty good for having 3 children a girl and then twin boys 15 months later.... but that doesnt mean im completely comfy with it being on camera maybe thats it maybe its just me i dont know what to do i want to post a vid to mark my progress and get insightful comments from everyone but i just cant do it 😢

5 replies

pole-twista · 10/6/2009
honey you shouldn't waste not 1 more second worrying about any of this. this is got to be one of the most supportive and non-judgemental, encouraging, kind, ect group of people you can find in 1 place like this. if you need encouragment take a look at some of my vids! my hair is a disaster in some, in others you get to see the toll too much pizza and not enough exersise has taken on my stomach..oh the list just goes on, but i know the only person who is focusing on the things that make me uncomfortable in any given video, is me. i did a video not long ago bc i was feeling soo unsexy or graceful so made a point not to focus on the things i didnt like. i forced myself to put on a dress and heels and acknowledge all the things i like about the way i look and feel. like my eye color and strong calves. before you start the video get yourself in the right frame of mind. some peoplelike t o come up w a stage name/personality. some peole feel silly doing this so try and see. if you think you'd like to try this i would suggest a name that makes you feel sexy or powerful.. whatever's going to make you feel confident. if your a little on the shy side you can play into that w a sweet and bashful in a sexy way personality. you could do the whole innocent girl next door or librarin.. or you could use this as a chance to explore a whole other side of you. i go with how i feel at the time and music of course plays a role. pick a song that you really feel. i like music from back in the day like billie holiday and james brown but usually to practice its rock or rap. also dress in a way that allows you to move freeky and that your not going to have to constanly fuss with as this will be distracting to dancer and viewer (in my BED video my skirt and top were driving me crazy and it took some focus of what i was doing). sorry to make this so super long but 1 more thing.. lighting. go with whatever makes you feel beautiful. hope this helps.
litlbit · 10/6/2009
Poletwista is right...so I won't repeat what she stated...I was 51 when I started teaching myself to pole...I posted vids on youtube and was totally humiliated by rude comments( a lot due to my age!). SV didn't exist yet, I almost gave up...but was encouraged by Veena to keep going...this site is very empowering, It has helped me feel good about what I do to take care of myself...please post a vid of your progress...we've all been there (ha ha I still am!)..we are always our own worst critic...Oh and WELCOME TOO!!! 😀
asterl24 · 10/6/2009
your girls are so wonderful thank you for the encouraging words i wouldnt expect anything less from this site like i said you guys are amazing and keep me going im in a bad rut right now really depressed and in a dark scary place and people like you guys my children and my pole have kept me fighting thus far and i hope i can continue this battle but i feel so weak lately and seeing the tradegy that just hit this site it makes me want to fight that much harder even though i didnt know caramel on a personal level i still wanna fight for her and people who are suffering like me
litlbit · 10/6/2009
Hey aster14...I do know what your saying...been there...Hang in there, stay in touch and active...it really does help! You can read a brief of my background if you like, it's on bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/litlebit my profile tells my story...it does get better hun! Have faith and lean on your friends!! *HUGZ*
Veena · 10/7/2009
No body is perfect....did you ever see my baby belly vid I did for you all here? Real women have stretch marks, cellulite and even extra skin and I think we are beautiful. Please don't feel bad about yourself....and think if you make a video and post it you can look bad and see how far you have come 🥂 🥂 I would love to see you dance, maybe you could do the Oct challenge, you get to wear a costume for that one 🦇