Should I let my 13 year old daughter pole?

SissyBuns started this discussion · 6/16/2009

I personally don't have a problem teaching her spins and moves (in a very non sexy way of course) but she is young and impressionable and the kids her age are sooo sexual these days. I don't know if they would give her a hard time about it or if she would try to use it as a positive thing when luring boys....(because she does like boys). I teach them that it's for exercise and they never see me shaking my ass on it, but I'm not the only influence they have...even the songs they listen too...."She gets low, when she's on that pole" ......and things like that. I just want to do the right thing...she never showed any interest in it (except for the one attempt she made to climb it when I first put it up) until lastnight when I was practicing. They were all watching Veena do a move on her lessons, then I would do the same move and they would judge me using peaces of paper with the numbers 1-10 on them LOL. Eventually they all ended up on the pole and she wanted me to teach her a spin so I taught her the fire man and I saw the fire ingite in her eyes when she got it LOL. Am I creating a young pole monster? LOL

9 replies

PoleJunkies · 6/16/2009
Am I creating a young pole monster? LOL Probably...but if it is any consellation...I did too! Kids play, Kids play on poles....in SCHOOL PARKS! What is so wrong with wanting your children to be physically active and participate in activities that are not only fun, but great exercise?? There is NOTHING wrong with your daughter poling....just ensure she knows the difference, and with you taking classes...she should! My daughter is 17. Showed NO interest in what I have done for the last 10 years!! That is until last October. 9 months later....my daughter now assists with me for my classes...and has written her fitness qual course here...and passed! In Canada you can be 17 and get certified, but can only assist, as insurance will not cover those under 18! If we hide it from the kids..who will be there to take over when we are done? Personally, I want pole and PoleJunkies to succeed, if my daughter wants to take over my company...good on her! It is up to me to teach her to respect the pole as she would any other piece of fitness equipment! Enjoy including her in your time with your pole! It really is a wonderful bonding experience! Not to mention a way to ensure active living on her part! My choice was let her sit in front of the idiot box or computer and get fat....or let her explore new opportunities to help her live longer by being active! 🙂 I was a dancer for over a decade...I have no worries or fears that she will follow that business route, she watched my life! My only problem was the kids she has issues with telling her she is going to end up a cracked out stripper on the pole! Kids really are mean...so now she mentions her job to no one. She enjoys it for herself! I let her read this thread this morning and she said..."I do it for me, cause it is fun and a challenge! There are enough skanky ho's in schools! AND....check out my 2 tickets to the Gun Show! LOL!" (she has awesome pipes 🙂 )
Kayla Bee · 6/16/2009
just be aware of the negative reactions this might have. her friend's parents might not think pole dancing is something a mother should be showing her daughter. 😕 however, i think it would be cool if your whole family learned how to pole. could you imagine, an entire family of professional pole artists! you guys could travel the globe! 🤓
RoxyPink · 6/16/2009
Use this as a teaching experience...this is the perfect opportunity to teach her about the fitness aspect and art aspect of pole dancing. It's about teaching responsibility and what comes with the good and bad side of it. Plus it could be a great bonding experience for you two! I say go for it! 😀
Veena · 6/16/2009
Yes, your will be creating a pole monster BUT I don't think its a bad thing. 🤓 Its a great form of exercise and it could be a fun thing for the two of you to share. The only negative I could see might be what others would say if she told them, and I don't think you should tell her to keep it a secret either. She would have to be ok with their possible comments. Then again kids can make fun of any activity a teen participates in, like band or even cheerleading. If your worried about her getting to sexy on the pole....well she could go do inappropriate dance moves with out a pole so, I wouldn't worry about that. If she is interested if pole then great, 🥂 don't worry about it too much, take it one step at a time.
mayzface · 7/2/2009
I don't have kids, so I guess I'm giving the "kid" perspective. My parents were always really open and honest with me and didn't go out of their way to hide adult things from me, which I totally appreciate as an adult. I think if you're honest with her about the pros and cons of pole dancing then she can make an informed choice on her own. Nothing is worse than making something seem taboo or forbidden, because then kids are definitely gonna want to do it! 13 is also a pretty delicate age, and I think anything that lets her embrace her body and feel good in her skin has to be a good thing. Plus there is nothing sexy about learning to do tricks, it's hard work! Although it must be scary as a mom to see your teenager interested in something that may cause her grief or give other people the wrong idea. Then again, she sees you doing it and feeling good and I think it's really sweet that she wants to share a hobby with you. You couldn't pay me to hang out with my mom when I was 13! Sidenote: When I was a little kid, my dad caught me twirling around the swingset poles and singing "Girls, Girls, Girls" at the playground! That's what you get for letting your four year old watch too much MTV, but I don't think I turned out so bad! 😉
Rara · 7/2/2009
Ok I feel I have to say something here due to that fact that I do let my 12 yr old step-daughter pole. I even posted videos of her on here so everyone could see. ********* has always been into gymnastics , so learning some tricks was right up her alley. I am teaching her the tricks only, there is no dancing. I did explain to her that she cant go around and brag to her friends that there is a dance pole in our home, because they wont understand what she is learning and also take it the wrong way. She did tell me that she mention to one of her friends what they thought about pole dancing , her friends replied that is was slutty. Ever since then that friend hasnt spoke to her, and ********* only asked a question she didnt say she was learning to do it. One night ********* stayed over a friends name Coolens house, well she dicided to tell her friend and her friends mother Karen. The next day Karen came over , and wanted to see the pole, and she thought is was awesome. She let her daughter on it , and Karen even came back for a few lessons. Karen looked at it like I do , I am not teaching her to dance sexual, I am teaching her the gymnastic part of it , and its also keep her fit. Funny but the girls ever came up with a code name for the pole..which is flower, so they can talk about it and no one will know. When I am practricing with ********* , I dont dance around the pole, its all tricks. She does sit with me from time to time and watch videos , but i limit on what she can see. She never saw me dancing in heels with the pole, which i dont do it often anyway. If i decide to it will be when the children are not home, but that is me. ********* has a good head on her shoulders, straight "A" student , and very mature . She is 12 going on 21....lol So far she is having blast with learning and would love to compete one day. I just have to add this, one night ********* was practicing with out me. I have a webcam hooked up to my ceiling facing the pole. I had the webcam on without her knowing , and i was watching from the other room on another pc . I just wanted to see if she woud dance or wiggle around the pole.. well she didnt. It just made me feel good that she is taking the pole seriously as a verticle gymnastic.
SissyBuns · 7/2/2009
I don't have kids, so I guess I'm giving the "kid" perspective. My parents were always really open and honest with me and didn't go out of their way to hide adult things from me, which I totally appreciate as an adult. I think if you're honest with her about the pros and cons of pole dancing then she can make an informed choice on her own. Nothing is worse than making something seem taboo or forbidden, because then kids are definitely gonna want to do it! 13 is also a pretty delicate age, and I think anything that lets her embrace her body and feel good in her skin has to be a good thing. Plus there is nothing sexy about learning to do tricks, it's hard work! Although it must be scary as a mom to see your teenager interested in something that may cause her grief or give other people the wrong idea. Then again, she sees you doing it and feeling good and I think it's really sweet that she wants to share a hobby with you. You couldn't pay me to hang out with my mom when I was 13! Sidenote: When I was a little kid, my dad caught me twirling around the swingset poles and singing "Girls, Girls, Girls" at the playground! That's what you get for letting your four year old watch too much MTV, but I don't think I turned out so bad! 😉 That's one of my worries is that the other kids will give her grief about it. It's hard enough for me to defend my own "pole habit" and I'm an adult dealing with other adults...who you think would have more open minds right? Not!
SissyBuns · 7/2/2009
Ok I feel I have to say something here due to that fact that I do let my 12 yr old step-daughter pole. I even posted videos of her on here so everyone could see. ********* has always been into gymnastics , so learning some tricks was right up her alley. I am teaching her the tricks only, there is no dancing. I did explain to her that she cant go around and brag to her friends that there is a dance pole in our home, because they wont understand what she is learning and also take it the wrong way. She did tell me that she mention to one of her friends what they thought about pole dancing , her friends replied that is was slutty. Ever since then that friend hasnt spoke to her, and ********* only asked a question she didnt say she was learning to do it. One night ********* stayed over a friends name Coolens house, well she dicided to tell her friend and her friends mother Karen. The next day Karen came over , and wanted to see the pole, and she thought is was awesome. She let her daughter on it , and Karen even came back for a few lessons. Karen looked at it like I do , I am not teaching her to dance sexual, I am teaching her the gymnastic part of it , and its also keep her fit. Funny but the girls ever came up with a code name for the pole..which is flower, so they can talk about it and no one will know. When I am practricing with ********* , I dont dance around the pole, its all tricks. She does sit with me from time to time and watch videos , but i limit on what she can see. She never saw me dancing in heels with the pole, which i dont do it often anyway. If i decide to it will be when the children are not home, but that is me. ********* has a good head on her shoulders, straight "A" student , and very mature . She is 12 going on 21....lol So far she is having blast with learning and would love to compete one day. I just have to add this, one night ********* was practicing with out me. I have a webcam hooked up to my ceiling facing the pole. I had the webcam on without her knowing , and i was watching from the other room on another pc . I just wanted to see if she woud dance or wiggle around the pole.. well she didnt. It just made me feel good that she is taking the pole seriously as a verticle gymnastic. RaRa your step daughter does sound like she has a good head on her shoulders and that's a great thing. I can't always say the same for my daughter though LOL. We're working on her decision making because she has a bad habit of making the wrong decisions and being easily influenced by others. If she were more mature for her age I probably wouldn't worry so much. I decided to let her fool around with it and learn a spin or two (I even posted a video of her and my other two poling) because I'm honestly just happen she's doing something physical LOL. She ses me do it and she recognizes the athletic ability that's required for it. She's no dummy and with the way kids are now adays she is well aware that poles are used for stripping too, but I've always wanted my kids to be open minded and not judge so what better way to start than with a pole dancing mama?
secret_shelby · 7/18/2009
honestly, I wish it were seen more as a sport than a sexy thing. It is a very hard age because yeah sure she may use it to "lure boys" as you say (I'm just thinking back to when I was 13), but if you are teaching her and showing her that it can be used in a competition setting, then I say go for it. Not only is it empowering and *FANTASTIC* exercise, but it really does take a lot of skill and strength. I'd rather have a daughter who could pole dance than a daughter who was obese and non-active. Society be damned - it's just as much of a sport as soccer and softball!!!