SEXINESS

babymaddy_2007 started this discussion · 6/22/2009

SOOOOOOO, I seem to be having trouble with the sexiness of this whole adventure. I think alot of this has to do with how uncomfortable with my body I am after having my daughter. I seem to feel like im in someone else's body! I ordered some of Veena's lessons and today was attempting some of her walks and her hip rolls, etc, and I wanted to videotape myself so I could see if I was doing it right! And when I watched it later, I was like,,WHO IS THAT WOMEN! SHE LOOKS SOO UNCOMFORTABLE AND STIFF! Ugh what to do! Im in the process of losing the last 20 pounds I gained while I was preggo. Any advice ladies, any body else having this trouble!? Rachel 🧿

7 replies

perrylilac · 6/22/2009
You really have to embrace your own body whether there is improvement you want to do or not. I've lost all my baby weight but I still feel I don't look "sexy" when I dance. I feel weird and I think I look silly. Confidence is what makes a person of ANY size look HOTT!!!! Pole dancing is a very different type of dance for me. I did gymnastics and ballet and that really shows through my dancing which is great, but I don't think it's "pole" dancing, lol 😀 . So my advice to you would be to work on your confidence. Once you are confident in the way you look and move, the rest will fall into place!! Have fun!
untamedshrew · 6/22/2009
It's hard to act sexy when you don't feel sexy! I have been getting back in shape for the past nine months using the pole. As I start to like my body more, I like my dancing more. At the beginning, I paid no attention to how I looked and just focused on strength and form. I thought I was doing good until I got a big mirror! 😲 I went out and bought the sexiest shoes and "stripper outfit" I could find, (that still held up my ladies and covered my baby pooch). That helped about 10000%. When I'm having an unsexy moment, I don't look in the mirror and try to focus on the movement and music (playing some Janet helps me). Just focus on whatever makes you feel sexy, then you'll BE sexy!
Veena · 6/23/2009
Don't freak out. The first time I saw myself pole dance was horrifying to me too! Recording yourself was a good idea...it may not seem like it at first but when you look back at that first attempt you'll be happy you have it. Its very satisfying to be able to look back and see that you are progressing. Sexiness is a billion times harder to achieve after having children. I spent a lot of time learning how to hold my body and discovering what bottoms fit my post baby body best. I have found that the lower the bottoms the better. I still have a case of muffin top if I wear the wrong kind of bottoms. Don't forget you are your WORST critic. Moms are beautiful no matter what shape!!!!! I proudly bare my stretch marks at the pool....but...I do suck in the pooch, until I get in the water 😂
RoxyPink · 6/23/2009
I know exactly how you feel..but remember dancing (hip rolls, sways etc) are all "tricks" too! you have to practice them just like you do spins and inverts! With practice comes grace and you will find that before you know it you will be more comfortable with you! 😀
Hockey_Soldier · 6/23/2009
Don't forget to give yourself credit. This stuff is hard! Wow, I had a reality check last night!! Just like with dance, gymnastic or anything else the visual feedback is important. What I would do when I was figure skating was to tape myself before I was too terribly comfortible with my new move, a couple repetitions and then throw it on my laptop, password protect the video clip and then LEAVE IT ALONE! Come back the next practice session and check it out while warming up. Pick specific things to look for: "I'm going to evaluate my hand placement without making any judgements about myself as a person" (chant if need be) I had to do a lot of mental/coaching work in my medical area so I've got the subject matter down but not the technique....
Former member · 7/10/2009
oh honey!!! i think every one of us has experienced this at one time or another, or it's an ongoing insecurity. i think that it starts in the mind- if you believe you're sexy, you'll feel sexy and you'll look sexy when you dance. i'd highly HIGHLY recommend "the idiots guide to exotic dancing", it might seem silly, but honestly i felt like i was THE sexiest, most beautiful, amazing person after reading it. Wendy (the author) builds you up and makes you feel like you're the most incredible woman on this planet. I'd definitely recommend reading it for an ego-boost. i do know though that i've seen your videos babymaddy and you can tell that you're a talented, beautiful dancer, i think you're beautiful!
Poleluver · 7/10/2009
I remember when my daughter was only a couple weeks old playing around at my sis's house balancing on my tip toes while kinda compacted crouched in front of her while she was sitting on the couch ..we were messing around and all she did was tip me back with one finger and I went falling backwards unable to catch myself or prevent it from happening and completely fell and landed on my back. My core muscles were none. I wish I was into poling then, I bet I would of gotten into shape better and more soon. How often new mothers forget to take a little selfish time to do that kind of stuff. You'll be a strong mom.