This is all basiclly about one topic that has been popular lately, and that is programming. Everything begins with the goal, why are you training and what are you training for. Of course most people here will say "pole" but thats not quite it. You need to know what the overall goal of the progran is: strength, mass, endurance, all three, or something else entirely???
The type of training is going to follow whatever your goal is, and this will also determine sets, reps, rest, and exercise choice. But everything in the program needs to have a reason. You dont throw in sets, reps or exercises arbitrarily.
Another point that i am seeing talked around but not named is progression. Whatever program you have should have progression built in. And that means that if you have say 2 sets of 10 reps, you not only have a reason for choosing that, but have a plan on how to change that when that is too easy, adding weight is good, but then you need to look at why you are adding weight and does that fit in with the goal or do you need to change something else.
There is a lot that goes into building an exercise program, wether its strength training or cardio or whatever. Not all exercises need to go to faliure, not all exercises benefit from higher weights. Personally I work out and design programs with a variety of sets and reps for a variety of reasons.
rests periods are going to affect a lot of things as well, shorter rests will help make a session more intense by shortening recovery time, longer rests can help "dissolve" lactic acid build up in the muscle and give more recovery, usually seen when moving the higher weights. However there is no "set" time limit for rests, it may vary individually. Again, though its going to depend on the goal of the program.
As always, if you cant do it with good form, you need to drop the weight regradless of anything else.
I think veenas lessons here are very good in that she shows and explains the begginer, intermediate and advanced postitions in many things and the site has a natural progression into it.