Rush of Panic

DeaconJungleCatPoles started this discussion · 4/16/2009

I keep trying to calm myself but I just can't seem to at the moment. Don't worry. I'm ok physically. It's just that my mind is being attacked. I woke up in the middle of the night around 4am. Poled for a bit. I can't even think right now to tell the story. Just for the last hour or so I just feel this huge surge of fear. Fear for my safety I guess. Not that anything has happened to stoke that fear. I just do. I removed all of my videos from youtube and at this time I don't plan to put anymore on there. I just need to get my head out of the clouds and back to Earth. This is a harsh place and when people offend other people they can sometimes end up hurt or dead. I realize now that my praise dance videos were just too risky for this world. I hope my actions don't let me wind up in a dangerous position. Love Always, Jungle Cat

14 replies

DeaconJungleCatPoles · 4/16/2009
I wish I wasn't so impulsive. I feel so stupid now. Like a fickle crazy person who can't make up his mind. 😂 I realize now I was just being kinda silly. I'm not a hyperactive sociapath desperately seeking attention with sad sack stories. Or am I? 🤔 hehe No I don't think I am. Don't even get yourselves worked up for a response. I already know everyone is going to be supportive and encouraging. I don't need any spotlight on me. We can just act like nothing ever happened. 😜 Love you all! Tavon
Foxy_Rei · 4/16/2009
Ohh Jungle, Jungle... 😂 It's ok, I often post something and then think "Why did I do that??? People are going to think I'm nuts or something..." And I'm going to try to cheer you up anyway 😜 I wouldn't worry about retaliation from posting those videos on YouTube. Perhaps not posting there would be a good idea, but I don't think you're going to get a group of "christians" standing on your doorstep with spears and torches or something. It can be scary knowing that you've angered someone, somewhere that you can't see or don't know and your mind will naturally wonder what the consequence will be. Paranoia is natural, but not always logical. 🤓 But just remember that these people don't know who are actually are, don't have your address, and I highly doubt that they live in your general vicinity and would think of even going through the effort to come after you in person. It's all in cyberspace, and it may do a number on your brain but they can't actually hurt you. Just keep praying and be strong, you'll be ok. It's just Satan playing with your mind. Don't let him get the best of you! We all love ya, and you can't post something like that and honestly think that one of us isn't going to respond! 🥂
Gsylass · 4/16/2009
Spot on, Foxy! We love ya Jungle, and are all here when you're ready 👍
Trena · 4/16/2009
Tavon? What a lovely name! You know we all support you here. Please dont worry for your safety, I really dont think it'll come to that. But maybe it was a good move to remove the videos if it makes you feel better. You should just post here on Studioveena where nobody judges you!! 😀
DeaconJungleCatPoles · 4/16/2009
Hehe bless you all. I can't believe I acted so foolish 😂 It was ridiculous really. I don't know what came over me haha Crazy late night ramblings of a mad man hehe I am going to repost those videos but I'm gonna wait til the fire dies down a little bit. Thanks all for being there and cheering me up! Devils won't win this time! J.C.
pole-twista · 4/16/2009
if you ever need/want to talk, send me a letter from the site and i will send you my email address ( i know you can only write so much through the site and than the letter gets cut off) we all care so take care!!! ****HUGS***
adamseve · 4/17/2009
JC, I'm so glad to hear that you're OK. Hun, I have those panic / anxiety attacks from time-to-time. I'm so angry that you had one due to the foolishness of others. I'm also glad you were able to get back to normal because it can be very scary. Take care of yourself OK and don't worry about those people. Just pray for your enemies and leave them for God to handle! 🥂 Hugs & Kisses Tracey P.S. Love your name! 😀
Foxy_Rei · 4/17/2009
Oh yes I forgot to mention I love the name, too... I have a rather unusual name, myself, so I can always appreciate rather different names 🥂
Caramel_Dlite · 4/17/2009
Yeah I love the name Tavon. I'm glad you're feeling better now JC, don't let other's bring you down. You've got such a beautiful personality, I would hate to see others make you a bitter, overly paranoid, spiteful person.
DeaconJungleCatPoles · 4/18/2009
Oh wow yall are so fantastic. You bring tears to my eyes. Thank you all so very much!! Yall are so beautiful 😀 Tavon
Former member · 4/21/2009
dear my favorite cat, it's totally ok that you posted what you did, i think we all can relate at some level. i used to put my vids on youtube too but suddenly all these random idiots were messaging me and requesting dirty moves and stuff, one guy even figured out where i lived because of my diploma on the wall.....it was creepy and i got scared too. now i only post on veena's site because youtube is too scary and impersonal for me. no worries at all tavon honey, youtube might not be for you, and that's ok! we love you here and will support what you post on here if you continue to do so. now cheer up honey!!!!! 🙂 this site wouldn't be the same without ya so keep posting 🐱 🐱 love sascha
DeaconJungleCatPoles · 4/21/2009
Awww thank ya babygirl!!! So sorry you had to go through that crazy scary experience! I'm going to keep posting here but I'm gonna have to take a little break. Yesterday I slipped in the rain and fell right on my face!!! 😂 Today my jaws hurt and its hard to swallow so I'm gonna take it easy this week and rest up. I was posting too much anyway lol beginner's excitement I guess. Gonna slow down and practice more in between videos. Don't want folks to get tired of me already hehehe Love ya Taylor! Jungle Cat 🐱
Former member · 4/22/2009
awwww!! poor thing!!!!! its been raining a lot here too, im sorry you slipped and fell. do you have some arnica? use that for your bruises if you need to. take a little break if you need to, but then keep us updated with your progress!!! 🙂 xoxoxo love you jc!!!
PoleSkivvies · 4/22/2009
I'm glad you're taking a break. Sounds like a lot of stress and pain right now. Sometimes those fear attacks come with a reason - maybe something scared you and triggered it? And it's fine to remove your videos. Like Sascha says, if it makes you feel safer, it's a good thing. I've done similar stuff myself. And you can always post more, if you change your mind. Fear is good to listen to - it helps you take care of yourself. Just because we sometimes don't understand what triggered it until later on, doesn't mean we shouldn't listen to it in the moment. 🙂 Jennifer