Rhinoceros Issues

JoleneBell started this discussion · 4/27/2013

I started Veena's lessons this week. Now I know why everyone raves about them. SO thorough and broken down. I'm in the Beginner section, learning a lot and loving it. However, when I capture video of myself, therein lies the challenge. Wow. I went from feeling sexified and slinky, to feeling like a rhino attempting to dance. Watching the video of myself was mortifying! Granted, I'm bloaty from my period (yeah, tmi), which causes me to feel fat, of course, I wasn't wearing very flattering shorts and top, and the camera supposedly "adds ten pounds." Has anyone else gone through this in the beginning? I'm so discouraged. Maybe it's just PMS body image blues? It seems easier to just learn the moves without a mirror or video, but like everyone says, it helps with form. It did help me see that I had the hip circles down better than I thought I did, so there's that. Even though I do resemble a hip circling Brachiosaurus. I don't know, guess I'm just feeling blue and looking for anyone else's encouragement who has been through this also. Thanks for reading! ~Jolene

21 replies

Sarah Brace · 4/27/2013
Hi, a big welcome to you!😀 I think you're probably seeing your video way different to how everyone else would, it's so easy to really pull yourself apart instead of seeing what you do well, I'm really guilty of doing it too! I've been poling for several years now & have still to put any videos up here, I just think I don't look like me in them, or at least how I'd like to look. It's a really good thing to record your own progress & sometimes look back & see how far you've progressed even if you're not ready to show the world, it'll give you a great confidence boost.😉 The most important thing to remember is that no matter how good, everyone started somewhere, also it's a really supportive pole community on here, everyone's so kind!
Linuxgirl · 4/27/2013
Webcams have wide angle lenses to capture the whole room, which makes anyone look thicker than they are, its like a fun house mirror effect. Its even worse when my BFF is a 90lb Korean girl who can do pole tricks like a pro, just standing next to her makes me feel like http://youtu.be/BYAKoo8d9K8 and that girl is better on the pole than I am. I Have been through this, since I got my pole; beating myself up and hating on myself. It's totally not worth it, but for some reason hating on myself is better than rationalizing how i ever let myself go this badly. We all have our own personal standards for ourselves, but it does get better, I promise that and my videos from day 1 to day 22 are encouragement enough to keep going and now, I am no longer aiming for what I used to look like, I am aiming for better than I used to look like. I also stopped comparing myself to my BFF or anyone else it's disheartening and demotivational. though I still feel like lulu at times, not as often and eventually never again.
Veena · 4/27/2013
Yeah the girls are so right! Depending on the camera you use and angles you can end up looking totally different on video than you do in person! It can also be one of those things that you have to get use to seeing. It can be really challenging to look past what we "think" are flaws. ❤️
Serzi · 4/27/2013
Let me just start by saying "cute" and "little" are words that I've never once heard to describe me. I am a 5' 10" tall woman and I fluctuate rapidly anywhere between 140-200lbs like it's a damn magic trick. It's just the way I am, (thyroid tested, strict diet, exercise, and that jazz...negative), just my psycho metabolism. When I started poling I did EVERYTHING possible to make my body look better in videos. I super-edited out all unflattering angles and jiggles; I used b&w, shadows, and red tint to hide my veiny, cellulite riddled legs; I avoided certain moves even if I could do them because I didn't like how they made me look; I hated my low ceiling because when I put on heels I was a serious giant and I LOVE my heels. Then a funny thing happened. My less edited and polished videos were the ones that got the most praise/views. I DID get hecklers too, but rarely because of my body. I gotta say, I have received more compliments for my natural unedited body than anything else in my videos. I'm to a point where I could care less about it because I want feedback for THE MOVES now. lol Guess I shoulda practiced more and worried less, huh? ;)
Serzi · 4/27/2013
Oh and, btw, I had my period during two public performances. It's just the way the dates were set. I was among about two-dozen petite performers who probably didn't weigh much more than 110lbs or were 5'6" tall at best. I felt hideously bloated and heavy, but I did not hear one word about my weight or overall hugeness compared to the other girls. My form and lack of tricks, on the other hand...lol.
Serzi · 4/27/2013
And I am SURE you do not look like a rhinoceros, dear.
pegasusaerialfitness · 4/28/2013
Go through it all time...keep videoing your self...don't be critical.. Sometimes when you thinks something looks good..you see it on film and your thinking that looked a whole lot different to me in my head....but then other times you think you made a mistake and it turns out looking awesome... Stay the course..you get there
darling dearest · 4/28/2013
While it seems torturous, push past. The more you record yourself and watch yourself dance, you become increasingly self aware. Use this to your advantage to help shape the sort of dancer you want to become.
hookedonpole · 4/28/2013
Yup, been there, done that...still there and do that :) I struggle horribly with the 'dance" part of pole. I'm just not good at it and am a stiff robot when I try. I do have some vids of pole dance here, but MOST of them are of practices and accomplishments. Then there are the videos where my poochy tummy is well, poochy! I do like recording though, because I can see where I need to improve form/technique/pointed toes, etc. So you are definitely not the only one. Hang in there and enjoy your pole journey. This is a great place for fun, support and encouragement. WELCOME!
hookedonpole · 4/28/2013
Oh, and even though I'm sure you're not, your topic topic title and description made me chuckle! 😀
CapFeb · 4/29/2013
I feel huge in comparison to other girls...I was trying to do straight leg aerial shoulder mounts at my studio the other day....Stubbing your toe on the cieling is the worst thing ever. I feel like the smaller girls can do more because there's less of them. Yeah, 90 lbs at 5'5" is probably proportionally about the same as 5'10" and 140 (which is what I am). But really. you expect me to believe gravity likes me the same? I got over it really quick. But I'm also a natural dancer. Normally customers tell me, "I don't normally like thick girls, but I love the way you dance." It all comes down to expression :)
RoxiCED · 4/29/2013
Dear god, if they're 90lb at 5'5" they should be seeking eating disorder counseling. That's a BMI of 15! (Healthy is 18.5-25). I'm 5'5" and a stubby-limbed 145lbs.
korinne · 4/29/2013
Ag, that last post was from me- not Roxi. My computer is logged into Roxi's acct and won't let me log out.
SpyralBound · 4/29/2013
I feel huge pretty much every time I set foot in a pole class. Not height-wise (I'm only 5'5") but just in overall body shape and composition. So many of my pole classmates and friends have a long-and-lean physique, where I'm a little teapot, short and stout. :) Find some clothes to practice in that flatter your figure. I know for me, if I'm poling in just a sports bra and shorts as usual, there are a few sports bras I have that make my already-big boobs look bigger, and some shorts I have that come up too high on my waist, creating unflattering muffin-tops and exacerbating my short torso. I never thought I'd actually PREFER myself in tiny bikini bottoms than something that covers more skin - but really, when I switched to smaller bottoms, I was way more happy with how I looked on camera. And remember, if you're like most women, you're your own worst critic. I can't watch my own videos without pangs of UGH GROSS! when I see the way my belly fat folds over during floorwork or the way my breasts seem to be trying to eat my face when I'm upside down. But I still post them here, because the ONLY person who has EVER made a disparaging remark about my appearance on this site is ME. I'm serious. If I'm the only one saying "UGH GROSS!" and everyone else is saying "OMG great job, you're improving so much, I loved your backbend" etc. it becomes that much easier to stop listening to my own negative commentary. Ask yourself this - when you watch other people's videos on here, how much attention do you pay to their bodies, and how much to their actual pole dancing? It's not a beauty competition around here - and I'm glad, because we have too many beauties in our midst to ever be able to declare a winner. :)
race911 · 4/29/2013
at 5'5'' and 165 lbs i feel your pain. i even have a great shouldermount vid i havent posted becuse of the way my belly hugs the pole! ive been poling for 4 months and every vid i take i watch and think oh my god this is how other people see me! ive tried to focus on the positive but its really hard and can be discouraging. dont let it discourage you as it has me! everyone has beauty,in how they move or express themselves! i feel as if i would be farther along had i not let this issue plague me,dont make my mistake! everyone is beautiful in their own right..own your beauty!
portableninja · 4/29/2013
Totally agree on the wide angle lens comment. Webcams are not designed to flatter. I hate using Skype for that very reason! :)
monica kay · 4/30/2013
you say that you think it's easier to learn without mirrors and video... so... ask yourself, "why am i poling?" if you are poling to get in shape and have fun, and mirrors and video discourage you and get you bummed out, maybe you should just pole without mirrors and video. :) maybe once a week you can use video to document progress and help fine tune things like lines, form, and flow. Sometimes I think mirrors and video can distract me. I get more into the music- i feel the music more- when i'm not recording. Mirrors can help when you have a performance piece and you want to be aware of how to position your moves to the audience's perspective. Also- some of the best polers are not petite... I wish I could say that " we are our own worst critics" ... but now with youtube trolls, I wonder if that saying still holds true... At least here on veena you will not be judged in any manner. If you are enjoying the art of pole dance, you are appreciated here. yay! :D
LillyBilly · 4/30/2013
@CapFeb In what universe are you thick? @JoleneBell Yes, watching myself dance is always hard for me too... It is especially hard when I compare myself to the other girls in the studio, who are all Russian goddesses with amazing beauty and perfect physique and generally look like the photoshop version of themselves, while I am a short, brown, hairy Mediterranean monkey. *sigh*... Anyway - it does get better with time. Some videos I still can't watch, but I think it has more to do with my feelings about the specific dance/setting/event when they were taken than how I actually looked in them. But with time, I learned to look at some of my other videos with a "forgiving eye" and see the good in them, even if at the time they were taken all I could spot in them were flaws. In the studio, I try to treat my dancing as a celebration of my body. I always wear cloths that make me feel good and that compliment my figure. I wear makeup before class because it helps me feel prettier, and I try not to criticize myself when I look in the mirror. Don't be discouraged, I think it's a stage everyone have to go through when they start dancing...
JoleneBell · 5/1/2013
Thanks so much for the encouraging words, everyone! I actually do think that it is the wide angle lens in my webcam, because I don't feel that way about myself when I'm looking in my bedroom mirror. The camera seems to seriously add 20 pounds. Thanks to everyone who pointed this out! p.s. I've been watching my work and can see how I actually have fantastic form and pole comes more naturally than I thought, which distracts a little from the chubbiness.
tacha666 · 5/5/2013
I too really had some issues with watching myself on video. I actually made it a goal to do all the challenges here on SV, but once I started I felt that I move like a hippotamus so I found a ton of excuses to not record them. Well, it took my some time to realize that it's just not possible to move like Alethea Austin since I started only a few months ago having no dancing or gymnastics background. She probably spent a lot of time, tears and hard work until she became who she is now! Actually, it helped a lot, finally just making the videos. Allthough it's hard, you'll never get the same feedback from friends or mirrors! I recorded the April video over and over again, but I feel it helped me a lot to learn moving more gracefully. And let me tell you another thing about wide angle lenses: What you place in the center will appear bigger! So if this is your belly, it might look huge! But when you place the camera close to the ground and let it look up to you, it'll make your legs look longer! Watch my March video, and you'll see what I mean. Also, putting on some high heels always boosts my confidence :-D
ShonaLancs · 5/5/2013
Keep recording and keep posting - its like flooding therapy :)