recording and your significant other.. HELP

ButterBean started this discussion · 6/3/2010

So I recently had a debate with myself if I wanted to create my own pole videos to track my progress, get encouragement from you all/my friends and yadda yadda... and I came to the decision that YES, I do! But my husband is NOT thrilled in the least bit. For the polers out there that record yourself... does your husband/wife know you record and post? If so, then how did you convince them that it was OK... and if not... well... what do you do?! I have shown him NUMEROUS videos on YT that are not sexual at all... just about having fun and expressing yourself thru music.. but on a pole. He's still not buying it. Any tips, advice, or past experiences to help me out?? TIA! 😀

14 replies

Castleoutsider · 6/3/2010
id assume show him ur videos =) i showed my husband mine before i posted them. but then hes also like YAY look at my sexy wife!! =) and i mean youtubes kinda blah.. so maybe even show him the forum and let him know what its all about ^^
ButterBean · 6/3/2010
Thank you Castleoutsider... I think thats what I might try. I dont think I'm ready for the harsh world of youtube yet 😂 ... but I would really like to post up on here. Anything for more tips and encouraging words! 🙂
Rena LadyBug · 6/3/2010
My husband was all for me posting videos and still is. Is it normal that I'm more comfortable w/ total strangers watching them than my husband!? I used to make him watch them, but could tell he was bored, so I couldn't tell you the last vide he's seen of mine... 🙄 Although he has mentioned how my workouts have turned more, um what's the word he uses... I can't think of it exactly, but basically more stripper-ish. I guess before I didn't dance in my videos, and now I do, I guess that makes me more "stripper-ish" in his eyes. Oh well. He hasn't said anything about my videos, but honestly I do have a few on here that I'm not sure he'd approve of other people seeing... Does it make it any better that my mom has basically seen them all?? HAHA. But I've since stopped annoying her with my new videos... 😀
minicoopergrl · 6/3/2010
Some of mine my husband has seen before posting. I did one for him for Xmas and wouldnt post it until he saw it first. He watches them whenever he gets a chance, ive been begging him to see the newest one since im proud of it but he hasnt gotten around to it. He sometimes will offer pointers on positions and things but I just try to explain to him that its only me recording so I only get one angle (sounds like I need to save up for flip or start using the video feature on my camera as well), so its hard to get the good shots. Hes starting to get perturbed about me posting vids to YT, b/c some of the guys who do post comments think im hot. He also is starting to think that I would rather post videos to YT for random strangers than spend time with my kids ( 🙄 , previously discussed on a different post). Honestly I would let him see them as raw footage before you start editing/posting. Once you you post here and get comments, show him the feedback your getting from them.
chemgoddess1 · 6/3/2010
Whatever you do, do not go behind his back and post without his knowledge/approval. Remember that NOTHING on the internet is secure. If you think that it may come back to bite you in some way in the future (think job interview) DO NOT post it. There is nothing that says you have to post here to track your progress, it is just as easy to keep it on your computer at home. I have been poling over 2 years and just recently put some practices up here on SV. There are others I know that pretty much have never posted a video. At some point in time he may become more comfortable but for right now it is really not worth it.
amcut · 6/3/2010
You sit him down and terrorize him with the forum and the video section. And you also bring him into friday chat. After he realizes how wonderful we are, and how tired he is of sitting down and reading and watching videos he will SURELY agree to you posting your videos. Just avoid bootyshaking 101 vids.
glitterhips · 6/3/2010
I would let him know that this site is mostly female only and the only men on here are also pole dancers so I don't think they view our videos as sexy since they do the same moves we do. I have to record my practices because I've never taken a class and that's the only way I have any indicator of my progress. Maybe you can make a deal with him to post them for a week or so so people can give you feedback and then take them down? Is he more worried about them getting into the wrong hands or just people watching them in general? I think guys don't understand why we post videos because they think everyone watching our videos is looking at us as some sort of sex object which would be the case on youtube but not here. I do watch a lot of the "sexier" videos on here but I'm always thinking "wow that was a great shoulder mount!" or whatever move is going on instead of viewing it as an ooh la la type of thing.
Charley · 6/3/2010
What I did was this...I created a private photobucket account and posted to forums that way. With a private PB account you can keep things private and no one cansee your album just what you post on the forum. This site allows you to upload and this site is a pole community with mostly women, the men on here pole dance as well. If you decide to do youtube start with a private vids, shareable up to 25, he can check them out this way and you can only share with a limited amount of people.
ButterBean · 6/3/2010
Thank you everyone for such great feedback and advice!! 🙂 I definitely would NOT go behind his back... like stated... totally not worth it. His main concern is people "pervin on his wife"... Which is totally understandable. When I watch some of the video's on here and on yt I as well think.. "wow! that spin was great!" or "look at how she does that hold!" but my husband on the other hand thinks like the typical male and thinks its all about being sexy. I straight away asked him... "Do you associate pole dancing with just strippers?" and his reply was, "No, not at all... but I dont wan't other people thinking thats what you are." So I left it at that. I think for now I will just start creating my videos for my computer only and show him and friends of mine that are interested in pole dancing as well. Buuuut... dont be surprised if I post a quick one on here if I get super excited about something new I can do! 😀
Danielle Tillie · 6/3/2010
But surely he knows that on StudioVeena, we would not view your videos as if you are a stripper? I mean, on youtube, it's bound to happen, and I understand some people's qualms with it. But in our little SV world, you are safe from that stigma! (not meaning any offense whatsoever to our ladies with exotic dance experience, mind you).
LittleC · 6/4/2010
Ahh...this is a topic close to my heart. When I first started pole, he asked me as his one request to never post videos online. And his reasoning was logical - he, also, did not want anyone "perving on his wife". The other reason is that we both work for very conservative companies that may not see it the way that I do. I agreed to that - almost a year and a half ago. I would never, ever, post without his knowledge - I respect the boundary that we agreed to, but I see this forum as being different than a youtube and a safer environment. I also feel sometimes like I miss out on being as involved here as much as I would like to because I am not able to be. To be perfectly honest, most of what I have focused on is tricks - I would love to say that my dancing was so smooth it would set the loins of the world ablaze, but I can assure you that is not the case! 😂 I am thinking about seeing how he would feel about me posting a clip here asking for help with a move. That seems like a less drastic way to approach it than a whole video. We will see!
ButterBean · 6/5/2010
after showing my husband this site and what its all about... I AM NOW SAFE TO POST VIDS!! 🙊 But only on here! Which I'm totally fine with! 🥂 So hopefully in the near future you all will be seeing some video posts of mine!... I just have to figure out my computers movie maker lol
miss fern · 6/5/2010
WOOO! Great news carolina! Out of interest, what specifically did you show him on the site? Did you make him read some forum threads, or just show him around the site - in the articles and lessons sections - or what?
ButterBean · 6/5/2010
I know! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! LOL I pretty much just showed him around the site... a couple of SV's lesson videos and just a couple random member videos (I cant remember whos... it was "most recent" ones) I think what made him comfortable with the idea was that this site is dedicated to poling. No judgements and no "perving" lol My husband has seen some of the rude comments on YT and is disgusted by them.. and thats what his main concern was for me. So now to find that dang video camera... 🙂 WOOO! Great news carolina! Out of interest, what specifically did you show him on the site? Did you make him read some forum threads, or just show him around the site - in the articles and lessons sections - or what?