Putting pets "to sleep"

Legs4Days started this discussion · 6/7/2013

Has anyone ever had to do this? Our dog is failing fast but one vet says "well...his heart is good!" The other says we need to make some decisions. He had an expensive surgery last summer called "tie back" to help him breathe and they think that stems from a disease called Neuropathy or Neuropasy or something like that. It usually starts with trouble breathing which is now fixed but then goes to his hind legs which become imobile. He takes a long time to get up sometimes, looks sort of deformed in his back and he has reverted to "messing" the garage even if the door is open and he can get up. It's like he has lost all that we have taught him but he is 14! I just cant make the appt and carry him to the vet to do it. "okay, it's Monday, let's go to get put to sleep!" Ugh, I know Im copping out but I wud rather he go in for a chek up...and I just leave him there. Sorry for the long post. Otherwise, he is happy , tail wagging etc but is losing ability to walk. I cant spend any more money on expensive treatments but i dont want him to suffer either. My daughter is devasted at the thought but none of us can deal with this much longer...

23 replies

Autumn Sky · 6/7/2013
My first experience with putting a pet to sleep was my cat of 16 years. I got her after my husband and I tried to get pregnant, went to an infertility specialist, never happened for us. Needless to say, the love had for a child I put into this cat. She had cancer and her body was starting to fail. It was a very hard decision. I will never forget the night before, holding her, knowing it would be our last night together. As hard as it was, I knew it was the best thing for her. Her body was starting to fail and her quality of life was diminishing. As much as I wanted to keep her around as long as I could, I knew that would not be the best thing for her. I do recommend staying with him as he passes. It will bring you peace in the long run knowing you were there for your pet till the very end. It's amazing how our pets can become such a part of our family.
Runemist34 · 6/7/2013
I've lost a few pets this way, and it never gets easier... but then again, death never does get easier, no matter how or why it's done. The last one was my baby, my cat Sage, who was put to sleep a year and a half ago in January- during my going through my breakup with my husband at the time. It couldn't have been a worse time to lose him. But, his hips were in a lot of pain, and he had arthritis all over. He could barely move, he was extremely fat and... eventually seemed to sort of give up. We knew it was time when he didn't eat or drink anymore, and I think he knew it too. He was not having a great life, but he was loved and kept and much-pampered all through his life. We've always done the best for our animals, and we all knew we didn't want him to suffer a slow starvation, or some other kind of debilitating passing. I'm really, really sorry to hear that your dog is not doing well, and that you're considering this one. 14 is within the "average" range for most dogs, and considering their life and aging, that's fairly old. I hope things get easier, and that your decision is the best one for everyone.
monica kay · 6/7/2013
you will know when the time comes. if you have doubts, it is not the right time.
CreativityBySteffie · 6/8/2013
There's never a right time for something like this, and Im not gonna lie, its going to be hard to go through. I recently had to put two pets down. My dad passed away in march, and I took in his dog, and I already had three cats. Shortly after, my big cat got sick, and because of funeral expences, I couldnt afford the treatments and she had to be put down. A week later, the police came to my door, explaining that my dads dog, was an illegal breed, he was legal with my dad, because the dog was older than the new dog-race law, but the dog was not allowed to be passed on to a new owner, and if I didnt take it to the vet, they would come back and take him from me. It was all a nightmare, and I wasnt ready for any of it, but I got through it. I burried my cat in my yard, and I have planted some flowers on her rest place. I burried my dads dog, next to his resting place, and had the dogs name written on my dads tombstone. I didnt think I would ever get over it, or forgive myself for not being able to save them, but I am getting over it. Im smiling again, and I know that I did what I had to do.
hookedonpole · 6/8/2013
So sorry to hear. I will share "our" experience because everyone's is different. Our pet poodle, Brandy, health began to fail at age 12. She had difficulty breathing, couldn't take many steps without having to stop to breathe, we had to lift her up for about everything. Her immune system began to break down and she broke out in horrible sores all over her precious body. I took her to the vet when the sores broke out and he said he was surprised she was not in heart failure, as it was so weak. He highly recommended putting her to sleep as she was suffering. I was not prepared for that and told him "I'm not ready." He said to take her home and bring her back when I'm ready. I took her home and held her all day (wrapped up in a towel as her body was full of horrible sores). After about three days realized it was time. I sat on the couch with her all day and cried waiting for my husband to get home so we could take her to her vet, who cared for her since we got her at six wks old. We had our son say good bye to her and took him to a friend's house. Daniel and Brandy were about same age, as after six years of infertility we got Brandy, then two months later I was pregnant with our son, so they grew up together. The vet asked us if we wanted to stay with her during the process which shocked me, but in my surprise said yes. Husband and I are glad we did, even though that was the first we've heard of that. We have comfort knowing that she didn't suffer in the process and that it was peaceful. I agree with Autumn Sky about the peace of staying. Yes we cried as we held her, but also tears of love. Of course, everyone has to make their decision. Sorry I rambled, just wanted to share that I know how difficult it is. This was 16 yrs ago, as you can see, still a vivid, but loving memory of her life with us. My thoughts are with you and your family.
poledanceromance · 6/8/2013
You have to stay with her. You'll be glad you did. They often get scared and struggle if you leave- that makes it emotionally difficult on the staff and for you. Trust me, in the long run you will be glad. You're not killing your dog. You are giving her your last gift as parents, the gift of carrying her away from her pain. This is part of pet ownership and I think it's only right to face it.
Dancing Paws · 6/8/2013
If she gets to be in pain, then it's time. I say, if she seems happy, just adjust life around her disabilities. They have this thing that you put on the dog so you can help them up! http://helpemup.com/ Sounds like it might be a god investment for you. You might have to start forcing her to take potty breaks outside rather than letting her choose. If you do put her down, stay with her.
Help 'Em UpThe #1 Full-Body, Dog Lift Harness with a Handle - Help 'Em UpThe Help 'Em Up Harness is a full-body lifting harness for dogs. Trusted by leaders in veterinary care worldwide. 500,000+ pets helped since 2008.
Legs4Days · 6/8/2013
Steffie, what is an illegal breed? I have never heard of that. Learning every day...
Polewalker916 · 6/8/2013
:( Unfortunately we as humans have the hardest decisions for the animals we love and take care of their whole lives. That is our burden to bear...it is a very hard choice and sometimes has to be made too quickly. Quality of life and amount of living that they have had are two things to ponder. A long beautiful life full of wonderful memories or it could be a animal in their prime or youth. If your dog is still seeing good times and not suffering beyond the point where comfort and happiness are unattainable. The decision is made by the owner alone. People have different reasons for doing what they do, letting go or keep fighting. Acupuncture can do wonders...I have been out if the animal field for a couple years now, so I don't know the extent or details of neuropathy but I have seen many cats and dogs who could not use their hind legs be able to do so or have more comfort with acupuncture and Chinese herbs. I'm certainly not a doctor but have seen remarkable things. Also, if u choose to put ur dog to sleep, I personally would stay. It's hard....but the moments that u get with them telling them u love them u will never forget them...they know..they are not alone.. I have been in many rooms where animals have taken their last breaths, some with the owners present and some not, people handle death differently (some people even laugh), some cry, some no emotion, some angry, some people stay and some people just can't....and that is OK!! They make their peace and say goodbye in their own ways, I have always told the owners that no matter what they choose (to be In Room or not) I will b there and stay with them the entire time they aren't going to be alone. Many people really appreciate it and some are ready to go in afterwards but not for the actual passing. I wish u and your family the best during these hard times. I hope that u all make the decision which is not only best for you but most of all best for your ever loving companion.
Legs4Days · 6/8/2013
Thanks guys....i just dont think his quality of life is good rite now...oh....
jade s · 6/8/2013
Ok, i'm crying thinking about it. I had to put our Kanani-girl down five years ago, and it was one of the hardest things ever. My eldest son, ex-husband and I stayed with her until she took her last breath. I'm so glad we were with her all the way to the end. My younger son couldn't bring himself to go with us. (My kids were 22 & 23 at the time, so they weren't little kids), but he and my mom said their goodbyes before we left the house. Whether you feel you can be there until the end or not is of course up to you. Either way I recommend saying your goodbyes because that's a moment you won't get back. Hugs to you.
Legs4Days · 6/8/2013
Hi Jade, I just cannot make the appt....dont know how. Today he was walking better but it is day to day. One day we came home and he had been on the ground for a long time I could tell...he had used the bathroom all around him but he was happy to see us. He needs someone there with him but all of us work. Basically he is just old. My mom has trouble getting up too and says she knows what he is going thru but hers is arthritis and she has family members with her. I have never seen anyone or anything die and I know I wont be able to watch .:(
HellOnHeelsNH · 6/9/2013
It is hard to be there but i couldn't leave my babies with a stranger in their last hour. I know it hard i do rescue and it never gets easy... Being there for them to say good bye helps them pass in comfort and not be scared :(, I'm so sorry you are going through this it is never easy
Luccia O · 6/9/2013
I'm so so sorry. I have had to deal with this a lot as I do dog rescue work. It's really hard to make these kinds of decisions. There are vets that will come to your home and do the euthanasia there, which is a lot easier than going to the vet to do it. Even though it's really difficult, I would suggest that you try to be there when it happens. It can be really horrible but at least your pet will have someone who they know loves them, holding them when they go. Perhaps if you can't handle it, you could have a friend or two come with, who might be able to be with them if it becomes too much for you. When I had to have my own dog euthanized two years ago it was the most painful thing I've ever had to go through. But being with him in the final moments, I felt the most love I've ever felt. It just filled up the room and my body and I know my dog felt it too. Even though it's a horrible thing, it can also feel good to feel that much love, to know that you were able to love an animal that much, and to know that you were able to return that love to them. When you know it is time, and usually you will know, ask some friends or family if they can go with you, and if they feel comfortable being with your dog in case it's too much for you. Your dog is so so lucky to have someone who cares so much about them.
jade s · 6/9/2013
I'm so sorry Legs :( I know it's hard. My son couldn't be there, but at least he had a chance to let her go. Email me if you need to.
CreativityBySteffie · 6/9/2013
Legs4days Its just in my country - Denmark - we got a law in 2009 with 13 illegal dog breeds. Mostly muschle dogs. The law had been critizised beyond words, because dog attacks has not gone down at all. Because it has nothing to do with the dog, but everything to do with the owner. If you beat up any dog, it is going to get agressive, no matter what breed it is. We are not allowed to have one of these 13 breeds, if they are born after 2009 or if (as in my case) the owner dies.
Hazi411 · 6/9/2013
My Mum had to have her and my Dad's adopted dog, Jasper, "PTS" in November 2010. Fortunately Jasper never minded going to the vets. Mum and I stayed with Jasper until the end. It was very peaceful. Not sure how it is in other countries, but In Australia, you can either go to the vet's or the vet can come to the house. (This may depend on the vet, I guess). The vet put Jasper in Mum's lap and we stroked him. It's a two-step process, but your pet will not be in pain, they just slip away peacefully. I loved Jasper even though he wasn't "my" dog, I and still miss him, but I am so glad I was there at the end. It was the 2nd time my Mum has had to have a pet PTS but my first. This was 2 months after my Dad died. I like to think of Dad and Jasper in heaven/doggy heaven, pain free, and having lovely games together.
Dancing Paws · 6/9/2013
We didn't have to make an appointment for my dog. When she starting passing out, having seizures, then went outside and laid in the rain, we scooped her up, drove to the vet, and had her put down.
DharmaDancer · 6/10/2013
The greatest love of my life was my ornery, intractable, pain in the ass bulldog named Spike. He led an amazing life traveling around the world with me, he gave me so much love and aggravation...he was my everything. His health began to fail when he was nearly 13. He suffered a ruptured spleen but was somehow still happy, had a huge appetite, and chewed his toys. Then he began to have little strokes which impaired his gait. The vet said to listen to Spike, that he would tell me when it was time. I remember watching him every day as he began to pee on the floor, or fall over, wondering if I was missing his message. Even as he diminished, I didn't believe he was ready, he was still so happy...still so Spike. Nearly a year passed of watching his decline, and finally he was diagnosed with cancer. The vet still said Spike would tell us when he was ready. Then a week later he fell over and seized... I ran to cradle him, to comfort my precious seizing best friend...and as I held him he looked into my eyes and at last I knew he was telling me it was time. It was unmistakable, and miraculous really. We rushed him to the vet, who gave him Valium first. Then we held him in our arms and kissed his face and told him how much we loved him, and gently, surrounded by our love, he passed. I've never cried like I did then. But I'll forever be grateful to the vet who told us to listen to Spike's own decision, and for the chance to cradle my beloved baby as he left us.
PlatinumAni · 6/10/2013
Ok I am crying now. Everyone has given great advice. Unfortunately once you get to the point you are at its only a matter of time. I will be thinking of you as I know how tough it is.
blondebird · 6/10/2013
I had to have my dog put to sleep 8 months ago and I'm still not over it. They really are part of the family and mean so much to you. We had to have her put to sleep as she was in pain and there was no chance she would get better. She had a slipped disc in her back and had been diagnosed with cancer. Horrible time
LocheshXXX · 6/11/2013
I'm so sorry you had to put your dog to sleep. I had to put my dog to sleep years ago and I still feel bad about it at times. It never leaves you but it does get a whole lot better with alot of time. I know it doesn't feel like it but " this too will pass". sending hugs,Donna.
SueSnider · 6/11/2013
I'm sorry to hear your dog isn't doing that well. I am in a similar situation with my little girl; she has stenosis and arthritis and can't get up on her own. I bought a harness similar to the one in the link AerialGypsy posted. It has been a blessing!! She gets so excited when we take her for walks with it. I bought reusable doggie diapers and human incontinence pads to line the diapers, so she doesn't sit in a puddle. My vet told me she is fine as long as she keeps eating and drinking. She has adapted extremely well; I think we had more trouble adapting to her situation! As for the "putting to sleep," as bad as it will hurt, you should be there. I think it's our duty as their humans to be there through it. When the time comes, pet him, tell him you love him, and reassure him pain will go away.