Beautifulfreak started this discussion ·
I was going to do a beginner comp next sunday and i feel huge! I feel so unfit and i actually cannot get through my routine because i am so unfit. i have a chance of winning £100 and a trophy if i won but i just cant go through with it! i feel so ashamed of myself.
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Don;t feel too bad, hun. I bet even the best polers in the world feels weak, stiff, unfit at times. Competitions are mentally taxing. The idea of being in a competition terrifies me, even though I would love to enter one. I honestly think if I tried I would seize up and I won;t be able to do anything, much less my routine. Then, I"ll never forgive myself...so I never enter any, even though I want to. Think of it this way, atleast you had the guts to apply, you are one step ahead of me! Why don;t you tape your routine and post it here on studioveena and share it with us instead when you feel you are fit enough to perform for us? We would LOVE to see it.
I second the suggestion to tape yourself. I was feeling super shitty about an aerial hoop routine I'm doing, but after watching myself, I feel a lot better. Plus, it shows you what you really need to work on.
its after watching myself that i felt so awful! i am so fat and clumsy that i look horrid!!! i need to loose so much weight first but its in a weeks time and i wont loose 30 lbs in a week!!! guess i just wanted somewhere to rant x
my suggestion to you , before you make a final decision on pulling out, would be to search the Polesque competition on You Tube for the 2011 winner, Roz Mays. She is a bigger girl. Take a look... :-) It really isn't about your size, it is about your passion.
I know that insecurity about the way you look has really nothing to do with other people, but just in case it helps at all, I looked at the pictures you have on your profile and you're BEAUTIFUL. Really. And your makeup skills are insane. If you honestly can't physically do the routine, then maybe it makes sense to wait until you feel stronger (goodness knows I would never be brave enough to enter a competition at this point!), but if it's just concern about your appearance, I think you have nothing to be ashamed of. Do what feels right for you.
Hi, I can totally relate to what you are saying, I was feeling the same way about a month ago when I was entered into my first ever pole comp. I was ready to pull out as close to the day of the competition even! The night before I was feeling so insecure I was almost in tears and until I went to the rehearsal and saw the other girls dance I was ready to pull out. Guess what happened? I actually won!! I say do it even if it is just for you. Make yourself have a try just for yourself, so you can have the experience if nothing else. Modify your routine if you need to so that you can make it through it if that really is a problem, but you should at least do yourself the favour of trying. Don't think about how others will see you in the respect of not being pretty enough or thin enough because usually others see us in a much more favourable light than we see ourselves. Unless you are really totally unable to do your routine then I say give it a whirl. Nobody other than you ever expects you to be perfect really.
My first competition was a personal disaster! So many things went wrong from the poles to my routine to my inability to understand how to train for it. But you know what, at the end of the day it was truly a great experience. I actually ended up freestyling about half of my routine because the spinny poles were too spinny for me so I had to cut a lot of my routine just minutes before the show - I wanted to cry. I went out there and I made myself dance, no matter how that comp turned out, I am proud of myself for having the guts to walk out there and do my best under difficult and unusual circumstances, when I saw what I actually did - I realized I didn't look that bad. I didn't have any more drama than any other competitor had! I realized everyone had stuff they hated about their routine/performance and we were all in it together. I learned so much from what I thought was the end of my career and the end of the world. I told myself and everyone else I would never do another competition - that I was horrible and couldn't do it again. Here I am, in another competition with a good head about it, good heart about it and excited again to give a performance. If I'd have pulled out I wouldn't have made the friendships I made and met the amazing women I met and learned so much. Comps are more than just your performance, they are an experience and a fellowship with your fellow dancers. Comps are stressful and deep inside everyone wants to win, but winning isn't nearly as important as pushing yourself out of your box, pushing yourself to do something you wouldn't normally and you're sharing that experience with other girls who no matter how good you think they are - are feeling the exact same way you are. They're afraid, nervous, want to win, want their friends to win, want to give a good performance, are insecure about the choices they made, costumes, body image - all of it. You're not alone with your feelings and thoughts, I promise. Once you get back stage you'll see everyone has the same fears. You'll have a great support group and learn so much about yourself and others.
its unfortunate that you would let something as little as weight get in the way of your chances of entering a competition, deep down, you know that your not going to get judged on size or weight. its a shame that women beat themselves up about the way the look, when the beauty of a womans body is her curves and that we do come in all shapes and sizes and not just being a size 0 makes her gorgeous, but her confidence. whether a size 2 or 22 let ur sexy radiate, dont focus on the way u look, work on sticking ur routine and ur sexy will carry itself. youll feel like a winner no matter what knowing that you gave it ur all
