Poling at home

Funmom started this discussion · 2/22/2011

I am a new pole dancer that recently purchased a pole to use in my home. I take casual lessons and enjoyed it enough to do it at home. My main focus is fun and excersice with an avenue to turn off motherhood and feel sexy for me and my husband whenever I feel the need. I have 3 children 2 girls 5&2 and a son 6 months. I don't hide my pole dancing and for the most part share my dancing time with my girls as they love pole Dancing. I show them spins and climbs leaving out the sexy stuff for my private time. A friend of mines family came for the weekend and the wife and kids were learning moves on the pole they loved it! This past weekend we went to visit them and I suggested we bring the pole for more fun and the husband said no. Because they have a regular flock of teens in the house he didn't feel it appropriate. I understood. While I was there my friend told me her teenage son approached her and said he thought pole dancing was cool and knew I did it for purely excersice reasons but he begged his mom not to get a pole...his comments were "mom being a teenager is hard enough without having a pole dancing mom at home". This made me rethink my confidence to have a pole at home for the sake of my children and future speculation when my daughter starts school next year. Not only that when she starts doing spins on the pole in the playground it may spark some questions. Right now the pole is completely innocent but what about when my children start to meet friends at school?? Interested in hearing from other parents dealing with this and how you educate people your lifestyle has good intentions? Has pole dancing created trouble for your children. I am not the type to normally care what people think however this isn't just about me... Would love any advice if you have dealt with this, but not criticism please.

15 replies

spinnygirl · 2/22/2011
I'm not a mom but if my own mom had pole danced I would have loved it! People will always criticize and some of my own twenty-something buddies are very conservative and will chuckle at my poledancing as if its some dirty little secret that can't be mentioned in normal conversation. I think that as long as poledancing is treated as an art and as a sport, its a positive attribute to any family home. Hang up some posters of the top polers and make sure the rest of the exercise equipment is near the pole. Emphasize the athleticism, flexibility and grace required to become a great poler. Maybe avoid some of the racy elements until people are comfortable (so your daughter is instead doing something acrobatic vs. the booty pop at the playground, lol). My family has always been big on sports and staying in shape. We're always finding new things to do that test out our physical abilities. Poling is right up there with windsurfing, horsebackriding and yoga. Maybe you could try out a gymnastics class with your daughter and do some yoga together to emphasize how similar the two forms of training really are.
minicoopergrl · 2/22/2011
Im a mom to 2 kiddos (6 and 2). To be honest my kids dont know I pole, all they know is mom dances. Now my oldest has seen a pair of my heels and said when she gets older she wants to wear them. My oldests Girl Scout troop just found out, which they all see it like everyone else. I do tell them I see it as a sport and its like grown up dance class for me.
Runemist34 · 2/22/2011
Hey there! While I may not be a parent, I have a few thoughts on this, and I figured I would share. First of all, for your young children, I don't really think it will be much of an issue. While they grow up, our industry is gaining more and more recognition as a fitness endeavour and a sport, so you'll seem suddenly progressive and cool. If they want to do spins on the jungle gyms at school, I'm betting a bunch of other kids will want to know how! Secondly, I'll tell you this: I have a friend, who is a mom, and a big star for Burlesque here on the island. She gets almost naked on stage. She dances with a ton of makup on, with boas and that honky horn music on the stereo, ALL THE TIME. This is her career. She has a teenaged son. Her son, as far as I am aware, has no issue with her dancing. In fact, he gets a lot of people's (read, Girls) attention at school for the fact that he can spin tassels on his nipples with the best of us. He went on video once pretending to be his mom...and it was awesome, and hilarious! He's a great guy, and I think that, if he gets any flack for what his mom does, he just brushes it off...and the ladies like him, so I think that helps ;P There are lots of pole dance moms on here, including Veena herself! 🌸
Aly77 · 2/23/2011
I have a 3 year old daughter, who loves the pole. I personally think it is great that she likes to be active instead of just sitting around doing nothing. I also have 2 nieces, 5 & 6 years old, that beg to come over, and play on the pole. Kids see it as a fun activity. My sister recently took my 5 year old niece to a new PreK for a tour. When they got to the playground there was a pole attached to some play equipment. My niece screamed out, "mommy look, a pole", and proceeded to run over and attempt an invert. I was dying with laughter when my sister told me!! I think if they grow up learning what it is about, then they will not be embarrassed when confronted by others. As for teenagers....I think they are generally embarrassed by anything their parents do!!! They are able to form their own opinions at this age and their definition of "cool" is the opposite of what their parents do. I wouldn't let my child stop me from doing something I wanted to do, or try just because they don't like it. I think once an older child saw the hard work and dedication that goes into poling, they would learn to appreciate it. I don't hide the fact that I pole to other adults if they ask or find out. I am very proud that I am 33 and I am able to do what I do. I have not come across anyone that looks down on me for it, or says anything bad about it. Of course I get the occasional joke about dancing for my husband, but when I show someone a picture of me doing a move, their impression of pole dance changes. They are all amazed and in awe of the strength that it takes. I know that eventually I will find someone with preconceived notions about pole, and not be able to change their mind. People are entitled to their opinions, and they can simply choose not to associate with me if they don't like it. I do what I do for me, and not for anyone else!!! So, don't let anyone else discourage you from doing something that is great for you.🙂
Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace · 2/24/2011
Im not a mum, but I have a teenage brother (15), and he and his friends know that I pole dance, and have seen me pole dance - it eventuated naturally, they were curious, wanted to give it a go, I showed them some tricks and how to do it... it was never a big deal for me as Im naturally very relaxed about showing my body and am so proud of my poling. HOWEVER.... recently it started getting a little complicated... even though they think I only do it for exercise (they dont know about my past stripping experience of course), I guess boys will be boys, and their hormones kicked in and it became apparent that they were starting to enjoy watching me dance a little toooo much :P From what I overheard this and there, it seemed my brothers mates were teasing him and giving him a bit of a hard time about having a "hot sister"... Which immediately made me feel sooo guilty and repentent for inflicting any social embaressment or awkwardness on him... I got really worried about wether I had allowed the situation to become inappropriate... But then I considered the alternative - If i had of hid my poling and treated it as a very private, secretive thing, it would have only sent the message that pole dancing IS something to be hidden or ashamed of. So in the end, i just gently let the boys know that it wasnt appropriate or mature for them to be referring to me in that kind of a way (since im their mates sister, and also a school teacher now :P). So all the teasing has abated, things are all good, and I cant help feeling content that I openly express my love of pole, which only advertises to people that it is a sport to be proud of and to admire. Also, someone else on here pointed out, that familiarity and knowledge of something takes away the fear or awkwardness of it. Its only ignorance that creates misconceptions and stigmas. SO if your kids grow up in an environment that accepts and appreciates poling as an art form, they will be too confident in the value of pole dancing to be seriously effected by other kids opinions... Anyway, hope this helps... I know as a mother you would sacrifice anything for the wellbeing of your kids, but you should also consider how giving up or holding back your poling will effect your own happiness, which in turn will effect your mothering. All the best xoxo Scarlett
poleluvndallas · 2/24/2011
I have two daughters, 15,14. I pole in front of them,I teach if they request it, and I tell anyone who asks to try an aerial invert before they assume that pole is strictly sexually oriented. in fact, my oldest is poling to train for high school drill team, where double peroettes (sp) are mandatory. veena is teaching :) first and foremost, I'm singularly raising very grounded honor roll GIRLS. we speak very openly about sexuality and what they feel like is appropriate. I say, pole if YOU feel its ok. screw who doesn't care for it, leave those ppl out of that part of your world. alot of ppl don't get it, can't separate dance from sex, and never will. their prerogative. when your children are older, believe me when I say, they will damn sure let you know if the pole makes them uncomfortable. personally,I dont close myself or my poling off from my girls. instead we use it to stay healthy together, and take advantage of the open dialogue poling and its stigma bring up. just my two lincolns
NicciG · 2/25/2011
My kids are 7 and 4 they LOVE playing on my pole and can climb that thing better than I can LOL! Kids relate to things on a different level, for them it has no sexual connection because in their world there is no such thing as strippers and sex, so it's a fun toy that Mommy can do all sorts of cool things like go upside down. I leave the sexy stuff for when they are in bed and my hubby has been a good boy :P I always tell people there is a big difference between being a stripper and using a pole as a prop and pole dancing, while pole dancing is still sexy it's not stripping per se. And even if someone is stripping and pole dancing why be ashamed, my philosophy is if you feel ashamed to do something then you shouldn't be doing it. Kids relate to things what we as parents teach them about it, if we act ashamed and like it's some dirty little secret they will feel the same. My kids know it's for exercise I also don't hide from people that I pole dance so hey don't see me hiding it.
nymphdancer · 2/25/2011
my biggest problem with having two girls 6 and 8 and a pole in my house is I get jealous how easily they do thing on it. Climb to the top and hang out there watching TV. Use those tiny arms and hold themselves up so easily...my 8 year old creates her own spins that are so beautiful and if I tried them I would kill myself lol.
poleluvndallas · 2/25/2011
lmao nymph,I can totally relate. My sister, mom of four, has an xpole in her home as well, and after watching us both huff and puff at an invert, my 15 yr old nephew walked in swung right up, slid down, walked out. darn kids! Ahh to be young and bendable and strong :)
Funmom · 2/25/2011
Thanks everyone for posting. My daughters also both love to pole and my eldest has a mean fireman spin and climbs the pole many times a day...my pole is in the main living area so it gets lots if use. It just makes me sad I feel like I have to explain my hobby...oh well if they are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone right?? Perhaps I will make more of an effort to leave the stollettoes in the closet...
nymphdancer · 2/25/2011
I will say I leave the sexy stuff for when they are not watching. I actually rarely pole in front of them because the house is just too darn crowded. But they kill me with how easy it comes to them. I'm sure if I let them watch my art of pole series they would give Jamilla a run for her money lol!
poleluvndallas · 2/25/2011
I have no choice but to leave the sexy stuff for when they aren't around. otherwise I hear gagging sounds and once I heard ' aww gross mom that image of your rear in the air scorched my retinas' such sweet kids,lol. all jokes aside, fun mom, you should do what you feel is appropriate for your family. some people raise their children a bit more sheltered and cut off from the real world. that doesn't mean you have to follow suit. if your husband is happy with your poling, you and the kids are having fun and staying in shape TOGETHER, then id say you are leaps and bounds ahead of alot of parents. mind you,I'm a stubborn southern gal that doesn't give a flip what other people think of my lifestyle or the pole it revolves around :)
calipolepixie · 4/1/2011
I have 3 kids--18, 7 and 3 1/2. My 18 year old has since moved out of the house but when he was living with me he was weirded out by me poling & I honestly too felt strange poling in front of him, I don't know why but I think maybe it was because it made him uncomfortable that I didn't feel right about it. I saved practices for when he wasnt home or was asleep. Once my eldest moved out, I practice more and my lil ones don't care and are into it too.I don't really do sexy moves around them though, I save that for when they are in their playroom occupied with a movie or video games or in bed asleep because my 3 year old loves to mimic me at this stage/age and last thing I need is for her to do a booty pop on the playground. Spins and tricks, I do in front of them no problem. They climb and spin on the pole all day long...they can't walk past it without doing some move on the pole lol. Some of my friends, family and coworkers know I pole. I don't force poling down their throats 24/7 though but if poling comes up in convo, I proudly speak me praises of poling. When my daughter gets older, I won't care if she wants to learn pole and will keep poling age appropriate for her and keep the sexy stuff out of it until she is alot older and can understand when all that is appropriate to add to your pole routine. My younger son, we have been thinking about getting him into the chinese acrobatic type poling and gymnastics because he has amazing arm strength and stamina. In the end, you have to do what's best for you and your family. If you guys are happy poling as a family keep doing that, f what other people think!
calipolepixie · 4/1/2011
I have 3 kids--18, 7 and 3 1/2. My 18 year old has since moved out of the house but when he was living with me he was weirded out by me poling & I honestly too felt strange poling in front of him, I don't know why but I think maybe it was because it made him uncomfortable that I didn't feel right about it. I saved practices for when he wasnt home or was asleep. Once my eldest moved out, I practice more and my lil ones don't care and are into it too.I don't really do sexy moves around them though, I save that for when they are in their playroom occupied with a movie or video games or in bed asleep because my 3 year old loves to mimic me at this stage/age and last thing I need is for her to do a booty pop on the playground. Spins and tricks, I do in front of them no problem. They climb and spin on the pole all day long...they can't walk past it without doing some move on the pole lol. Some of my friends, family and coworkers know I pole. I don't force poling down their throats 24/7 though but if poling comes up in convo, I proudly speak me praises of poling. When my daughter gets older, I won't care if she wants to learn pole and will keep poling age appropriate for her and keep the sexy stuff out of it until she is alot older and can understand when all that is appropriate to add to your pole routine. My younger son, we have been thinking about getting him into the chinese acrobatic type poling and gymnastics because he has amazing arm strength and stamina. In the end, you have to do what's best for you and your family. If you guys are happy poling as a family keep doing that, f what other people think!
Nikki 1212 · 4/2/2011
Ok, I am a dancer and not ashamed at all. I am a fulltime Medical student studying for my degree in psychology. I chose polin as a form of exercise about a year and a half ago and fell in-love, literally. I have a pole in my bedroom which I share with my husband. Polin is the one thing I have extreme confidence about, I am very good at it and thats not a cocky, "im better than" attitude, It takes a lot for me to say Im good at something. Anyway, I have a 4 year old little boy whom I encourage to "workout" on my pole. It promotes strength, control, a sense of confidence and accomplishment for him, which I firmly believe is imperative for all children. He can properly climb to the top and touch the ceiling; I have a 12 foot pole. He gets so excited when he does this. Now, having said all that, I do NOT allow him to watch me or even be in my bedroom while I'm practicing for a work routine. He does NOT know I dance at a club, I close my door and do my thing. I don't believe that I should lie to or hide EVERYTHING from my child. We are products of our environment, so my son will grow up being educated that polin is great exercise, mentally and physically and that it's OK if he likes or dislikes it. I think that it's great!! It's better than him sitting in front of a video game.