Pole Theatre Drama - need ideas

Hi guys Hoping to get some input on my entry to Pole Theatre Drama. My entry has been accepted (yay!) but my studio manager doesn't think my concept is 'strong enough'. She has seen my show live (which I posted in this group) and in her opinion it is 'too loose' to be understood by the audience. I'll admit my concept is very, very simple but as I'm travelling overseas for the comp I literally have no room for extra big props, special effects, human props etc etc which is often used in my home country (Australia). My concept video is here: https://www.studioveena.com/videos/view/5c839396-a82c-4bf8-8c27-3334ac110002 Would really appreciate your thoughts on whether this is a decent concept for Pole Drama, and if not, what would you add to it, keeping in mind that I'm limited by length (4.5 mins). Currently the length is 4min. Thanks a lot! xxx